Someone Please Help... Scared Out of My mind...Pregnant N Dnt Know What to Do

Everything will work out. When times get hard it seems like we will never be able to make it. But we pull though and look back and see it was OK. Keep the faith. Babies need love and the other things will come in try not to worry. Also if you want to adopt the baby out. There are so many people who would love to have a baby. Go for a opened adoption. So you can keep in touch with baby. Hugs.

Call Catholic Family and Children's Services. They will help whether you are Catholic or not. St. Stephen Martyr on Battlefield or Prince of Peace on Cedar Road can probably hook you up.

If I am reading this correctly, you are mostly concerned about finances. I work with an amazing wellness company that is helping countless families in these tough economic times. If you are open to a 45 minute presentation, I'd be happy to share it with you. You'll know afterward if it could be a good fit for you. Hope to hear from you. Wishing you all the best, N.
www.TheWhyCircle.com/nkboecker

Hang in there, Hon. I am a firm believer in the fact that babies are always a good thing! :-)
God never gives you more than you can handle. Marry that man! Start there and all else will fall into place.

You have to make the best decision for you and your family. You don't have to carry the baby to term. But only you (with the input from your fiance, of course) can make that choice. You also can carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption. That doesn't mean never seeing your child again - many adoptions now are "open" so you can get letters from the birth parents, see pictures of the child, etc. You also can pick the family, in many cases. Or of course you can keep the baby and "figure out" the finances. Again, you have to do what is right for you and your family, and hold your head high making that choice. Don't let anyone judge you.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

i am hearing desperation and some pretty acute depression. hon, you don't need mamasource or advice about money. you need a counselor and a good one, and you need her today.
talk to your medicaid support people about this. do it today.
go do it right now.
khairete
S.

not all questions have answers, grasshopper.
and not all answers were questions.
now, next thing to suggest is to check in with your local jewish agency
not jewish ? no problem. yes. i know you are getting public help, again , no problem. the jewish agency can help you, if you want to adopt out this soon to be little one, they can help you. they can also help you find a support network, as well. without judging you. dont put this off. and then after everything is said and done, start using birth control !!otherwise you are going to find yourself right back in maternity clothes.
K. h.

Think of it this way, if you bf the one you're pregnant with, he/she won't need much for the better part of a year (except for diapers and clothes- which you can get cheap anywhere).
YOU CAN DO THIS. Join a mom support group, build a network so that you have support and positivity around you.
Remember, babies NEED love and nourishment. Both are things I think you and your fiance' are more than capable of giving this little one.
Maybe bring up him getting snipped? Or there is the hormone free iud... :)
Good luck, we're all with you!

N.,
I'll definately pray for you(not menaing to be preachy but God can handle all situations) :)
If you need someone to lend a sympathetic ear there's this GREAT faith based organization called Assist off Backlick Road.
They are very caring and non judgemental like some people can be etc. The website is www.assistcpc.org the number is ###-###-####
Please call, they have referrals and free accurate pregnancy tests(just to make sure you are pregnant). They offer an earn while you learn program(but since you have kids that may sound weird BUT you can relearn about baby's need and earn points, with those points you can get baby items like diapers and wipes and clothes etc.) and awesome free parenting classes and they have volunteer counselors who are there to listen just be there for you.
Good Luck
pammy

I know this is late but I want to tell you that you have my sympathy. You are both certainly in a tough spot. Is moving an option? Has your fiance looked elsewhere for a job? I mention it only b/c I've heard that there are jobs but you have to be willing to relocate which is tough. I would seriously consider adoption. There are plenty of couples that would help with expenses/medical coverage/etc. for you while pregnant and perhaps some $ for afterwards. My husband and I have considered adoption so I know there tons of good, kind, honest people out there. Not ideal but maybe best for everyone? Obviously, something you and your fiance have to decide. Also, is there anyone in your family that can help either financially or maybe take one of the children in for awhile? In my family that would not be an option but a little girl in our neighborhood is being raised by her aunt b/c her mom can't afford her 4 kids. She still sees her siblings often and it seems to be working. Again, you have my sympathy.

Hey! I am so sorry you are feeling this way! I know how stressful this situation can be!
I read your post and was going to answer you but my 3month old woke up so I had to go feed her. While I was feeding her I just couldn't stop thinking about you and your situation... I lost my job 4 days before I found out I was pregnant with her. I went the next day and found a job waitressing at night while my husband was home but I also had to get on foodstamps. (That was something I never thought I'd do) I quit working when I was about 6 weeks from delivery.
Now we have a gorgeous little baby girl who I love SO much and on days (like yesterday) when my other 3 (who are all under 4) are crazy, I sit down to feed her and it immediatly makes me feel better! She is just so sweet and I don't know what we would do without her!
I know this has probably already been said a thousand times but... God will NOT give you more than you can handle. You will probably need to pray for peace and patience! (I know I do!) But He WILL help you!
I know I don't have some great advise to offer but I just wanted to let you know that you can do it!
(You could always put the baby up for adoption if that's an option for you)
P.S. I don't mean this to sound preachy but maybe ya'll could get married... I don't know if you arleady have a date set but if you don't mind having a small-ish wedding you could do it quickly and I bet it would be such a happy thing it'd probably make you feel better!

Your situation sounds just a little bit like where I found myself back in the fall. I lost my job in September and had been trying to find a new one when I went to the doctor the end of November and found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death! Without going into to much detail, we now have a beautiful 3 month old little girl...along with the other 3. I have still not been able to find work and my fiance is just barely making enough for us to get by. It is not easy by any means, but things will work out for you. You are never given more than you can handle!

Things will work out for you, one way or another. Just don't give up the hope that better things are coming your way! If you need to talk to someone who has been there, please feel free to send me a message on here...sometimes it just helps to get it out.

Keep your chin up, things will get better!

I am really sorry to hear you are so depressed and feel like you are in a no win situation. Other than government services, I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you. Could you do daycare out of your home?

I'm really surprised at your doctor though because he is full of it. There is a birth control called Micronor that you can take while nursing. I have three children and nursed all of them for anywhere from 13 months to 27 months. My doctors always put me on Micronor or it's generic at my 6 week check up. It is perfectly safe for breastfeeding mothers. :(

Hi N.,
I was just reading your update. I think once you have had time to calm down and talk things over with your boyfriend, you will be able to think better. Don't make any quick decisions until you have had time to think things through.

Whatever decision you make, I am sure you will find that at least one mother has had to deal with that same decision. Right now things are very overwhelming in your life. Take some time to get a handle on things and work out a plan as best you can. And you will see that it's not as bad as it may seem. It will be hard but it can be done!! Some situations can bring out that inner strength that we never knew we had. I pray that you will find that strength and do what is best for you. I wish you well!!

hang in there. i know it is easy for me to say, but it is out of your hands now. things will work themselves out.

apply for assistance...wic, housing, food stamps, childcare assistance etc. and keep looking for a job...OR consider adoption or abortion....Those are pretty much your only options...everything will work out....

I know that you feel very overwhelmed right now however you have to remember that God will never give you more then you can handle and i know that you and your fiance can do this together. Im not saying that it will be not be a little bit of a struggle but know that you can do it. Remember to take it one day at a time. If you try and see the futre and not focus on today you will drive yourself crazy. A baby is always a blessing and as my mom has always said, "Where there is enough for one there is always enough for many." Sounds better in spanish, lol. With the love and support of your children and your honey you will be about to over come what you feel is a burden and see the light in the blessing. I pray that you recieve peace :-)

I'm not gonna preach to u about support groups, help organizations, or church. Stressing about money always gets the best of us. It also can bring out the worst in us. Fortunately u can always apply for government funds. "welfare". U can get some cash assistance and food stamps. Just kno that u have a successful man that will get on his feet soon.

Apply for medicaid, food stamps, and WIC. If you are truly in need of it, there is no shame... that is what it's there for! Start a budget, and stick to it. I was in a similar situation~I was only working part-time at my job, and my fiance had to leave his job when we moved to texas. (my job was SUPPOSED to give me full-time hours&benefits when I moved down here... then management switched on me before it took effect...) As much as it hurt my pride, I got on them, and they honestly saved me a LOT of stress... do what you have to to help your family and get the best care for yourself.

I have not read your other responses. But I want to encourage you to seek someone to talk to at an adoption agency. There are so many families who are praying every day to have a baby in their lives. Please consider adoption. You can call any catholic church and ask about catholic social services and they can put you in touch with someone who can help.

If it's any consolation, most people are in a financial bind these days. You will make it work out, somehow. I always say, "well, I won't end up homeless."

Also, the hormones might have something to do with your extreme emotions.

The first thing would be to try and calm down. It's good that you have a great guy, some women aren't that lucky. Why isn't he working in his field? I'm guessing that there are no jobs available? It sounds like lack of birth control has been a pattern in your life. Have there been no jobs available that you can do? I applaud you for breastfeeding. Are you and the kids on medicaid? Find out if there are clinics, with social workers near you and go. You should be getting food stamps, WIC and maybe even monetary help. I recommend some counseling for you too for the feelings of stress and depression. No one else will be able to take care of this for you, that's going to be your job. Things happen, and when they do, the choice then becomes step up and give it your best effort, or lie down and wallow in self-pity. I think that you should be sending up some prayers. I'm sure that you'll get some responses here, but your Creator has a plan for you, and if you get to a point where you have a personal relationship with them, you'll start to see where you're being led. I hope that this helps you some.
Rev. A. of Works of Heart

I am a mom of 4 (3 live w/ us 1 elsewhere) and #5 due on July 6th, but I'm going to the doc today & will most likely be told that I will be induced soon.

I have been the only income for my family for many years... my hubby has issues dealing with people so he has a really hard time keeping a job. So, it has always been me that worked - that is until the plant I worked at for 12 years closed in July 09. I am looking - but as I'm sure you understand the market isn't the greatest!!! I'm hoping to return to school in Aug on a TAA & WIA grant to make me more "marketable", but am still waiting to see if I was approved for that. My regular unemployment ends on my due date... I will actually have my last check deposited on my due date.

I'm not saying that it will be easy, actually it has been somewhat hard. But I strongly feel that a child made out of love should be born with love... so here we are wonding when we will get to meet our sweet little guy that rolls my whole tummy often. He has been the most active of all my little ones.

If you are already getting assistance - talk to your case worker & see if there is any other assistance you are able to get. Also, see if they have a form of a "streets card" (WIC might also have it). A "streets card" as a print out of assistant sites (food pantries, soup kitchens, rent/utility assistant locations, discounted doc/dental offices, or any other in your area). Something else you might want to look into is a local preganacy center... they usually offer classes & if you attened the classes, you can earn free supplies for the baby. Plus, something else to think about is - if you just became pregnant, you should get a tax return before the baby is born. Which will help out or atleast ours does.

I also, understand that it can be scary having two little ones so close to gether... my kids were born 10/94, 03/04, 06/05, 06/15 & due 07/10. So, my first 2 are 10 yrs apart & #2 & #3 are only 15 mo apart. With your daughter being only 8 mo old... I'm not sure is that is adding to your fear. But I will tell you that my 2 kids are SUPER close!! They try to do everything together, even sleep in the same room (despite them having their own rooms).

I'm not sure if you own your home or you rent... if you rent - you can look into subsidised housing. Also, call the phone company - they have a program that assists low income w/ the bill. Electric & Gas can be put on PIPP (percent per income payment) to help reduce them & make them a bit easier to pay. If you have a car and/or a house - call around to see if you can find a better price on isurance... I did a few years ago & saved over $400 a year. If you do have a home - call your lender & see what programs might help you lower your payment.

For the last 15 year (will be 16 in Oct) - I have had my rock & I have been my hubby's rock... as long as we have eachother we are able to get through everything!! Honestly that is all that really matters... I hope that you can depend on your man the same way. If you can - nothing else really matters, everything else ends up falling into place somehow. It's not always an easy path, but it is a possible path.

I wish you strenght and all the happiness you can find!

Shortly before finding out that I was pregnant with my first child, I was layed off from a job. And when I say "shortly before," I mean maybe 7 or 10 days. I did manage to find another job within a couple of weeks, just in time for my husband to get laid off from his job. It took him a while and a lot of interviews to find another job, this time a more stable job with better benefits, just in time for our son to arrive.

Like you, I was frantic also. We had just moved into a new town and purchased a new house and our life was going topsy turvy, but somehow everything managed to straighten out and all's well that ends well. We did have to put in a lot of effort to make things work, getting out our resumes, interviewing, making the calls to inquire about positions, but it did end up working out in our favor.

My point of all this is please keep up the faith. I know things don't look good for you and your fiance right now but if he puts in some effort to trying to find more secure and financially rewarding employment, he just may find something that can provide your family with a lot more security. Just tell him to keep getting his resume out, interviewing and networking in order to find a job.

And, I know its hard, but try not to stress so much about the future. These things somehow always tend to work themselves out and your stress, literally, is not good for the baby.

Wishing you and your family better things to come.

N., you can do this! I bet you were a bit apprehensive each of the other times you were pregnant. Did those fears come true? You're in a different situation now and your fears are greater. I do empathize with you.

You need to tell your doctor how you're feeling. He can help. Get started with some counseling. Counseling thru the county is on a sliding scale.

You have made it thus far. Your fiance is working side jobs. He now has a 4 week job. This doesn't help you feel any more secure but remember that you've always been able to have enough money to get by.

Being stressed out and depressed is a normal reaction to your situation. Accept that you are. Let yourself cry. But also look for ways to help relieve your feelings. Are you eating in a healthy way? Are you getting enough exercise? When you are crying or feeling tense and anxious, go for a walk. It's summer. Put your baby in the stroller and take your son to the park. Make yourself focus on the beautiful grass, trees, flowers. Watch how joyful the little children are. After awhile start chatting with other mothers. Spend time with your friends. Make new friends.

I know, from personal experience how difficult doing this things is. You have to rely on your own strength and persevere. You don't feel strong. You want to go somewhere and hide; perhaps stay in bed all day. You also know that you can't do that. You have two children who need you every day. That thought makes you more depressed. You feel like you can't do it. But YOU CAN DO IT!

Tell yourself that every day, every hour, every minute. "I CAN DO IT!"

Make a list of everything that you remember once enjoying and choose one thing and force yourself to do just that one thing.

Don't try to do it alone. You and your fiance can bolster each other up. Talk with your doctor. See if there is an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication that you can take. I think my mother took Miltown while she was pregnant. I'm not sure what that is. It's called something else now.

Call for an appointment with Mental Health. Tell them how desperate you feel so that they might be able to get you in without being put on a waiting list.

If you are spiritual perhaps this saying will help. I said it often to myself during one of my times of depression and still say it from time to time. "Be still and know that I am God." This doesn't have to be the God of the Jews or of the Christians. I am a Christian and I do think of the traditional God but in a different way than my relatives think of Him. When I say this, I am thinking that God is in me. God is Spirit. I am Spirit and so I am also God, standing beside God. How can I fail when I have this spirit in me?