At Wits Endand Ready to Give Up.

I am so sorry you're having a hard time. You are a wonderful mom who is considering her daughter by reaching out right now for advice and support. I see that you live in Lewisville. There is an organization called Loreto House in Denton - located near UNT. They can help you find the support you need.

Are you getting support from her dad? Have you looked into WIC, food stamps, other assistance programs? There is help out there for you. Don't give up. Giving a child up is a serious decision, so please don't do it out of frustration.

Don't make a permanent decision when you are feeling like this. Have someone else in the family take your daughter for awhile until you regroup. Sign over temporary custody. A year from now things will be drastically different than they are today Honey.

I think you need to contact social services. IMMEDIATELY. I'm so so sorry to hear you're struggling, but it is very selfless of you to want more for your daughter.

Please don't just hand her over to her father if you are not 100% certain that he is the best suited to raise her.

I'm pretty sure you can't just dump her at the fire station at 21 months of age... You sound pretty desperate and I can only imagine what has led you to where you are now. Just KNOW there are resources out there to help you, if not government aide then social services can help you place your child with a loving family. You can do right by her still, don't blow it.

Whatever the situation was when you conceived your daughter, it happened. You are now a mother and SHE is priority 1. I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're young... You may still be able to turn your life around but you sound like you're giving up. "Screw it all" isn't going to help you OR your baby girl.

Go out and get help, do your homework and figure out what you have to do. As a mother there isn't much that could make me give up my children, I hope you're not making a hasty decision you'll have to live with for the rest of your life... And so will Ashlee.

Wow, R....I wouldn't know what to tell you but you've had her for almost 2 years. Your desperation is really obvious. Is there a trusting relative that would be willing to be her temporary guardian, until you get back on your feet? There's open adoption, too. You can sign your rights away to a deserving couple but still keep in touch with the child. You have a lot of figuring out to do. Good luck, sweetie.

Hi R.,
I want to say you have a lovely profile picture. You and your daughter look great together and she looks like a doll.

I hear your frustration at single parenting...it is difficult. I have been doing it for 14 years and there are times when I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and just give up. BUT, it was my decision to bring my son into the world so it is my responsibility to be strong for him.

I think you need to re-assess your life. If you are not making enough money then look into ways to make more. If you have a good support network, look into a 2nd job. Maybe go back to school in the evenings and improve your skills - make yourself more employable in order to secure a better paying job. You will probably be surprised to find out that you are eligible for financial aide for school.

As for dental care there is most likely a local clinic that can provide basic dental care for you (and your daughter) on a sliding fee scale basis. Find a clinic and make an appointment.

Your criminal record, depending on what it was for, should not hold you back forever. Yes, it may limit some of your options, but you need to explore education and self improvement in order to advance, no matter what your background is. Many people have a criminal record but go on to be successful in life. Don't use it as a crutch. The same with the DWI - the more time that passes the less impact it has. Just don't put yourself in a position to have either of these things happen again and you can get past them.

As for health insurance - You may need to look into other insurance options for your daughter. Does you state have CHIPS? If so, are you eligible for participation in that?

I read some of your earlier posts and in one you mention that her father was a drug user - do you really want him to raise her?

As for dropping your child off at the local fire station - that is a knee jerk reaction to stress. For one, they will not take her, for two, it will scar her for life if you abandon her that way. If you just drop her off, she will be placed in social services and a foster home, and become a ward of the state. Is that really better than being with her mother (and her grandparents since you live with them)? Is that a life lesson you want to teach her - that when the going gets tough - just give up on your responsibilities?

The best example you can set for your daughter is for her to see you mother better yourself and improve your life so that you can provide a stable environment for her.

Look into to social services in your area - food stamps, Wic, TANF, public housing, there all kinds of resources available for low income parents. Bottom line is for you to take charge of your life.

You can do this.

;(....... I wish I could sit right next to you and give you a hug through this hard time you are having. Hang in there sweety. It gets hard for all of us but we find a way to make it through.

I'll be praying for God to show you the right path to take in this difficult time.

Oh honey, do not give up. Reach out for support. If you truly feel she will be better off with her father, than make that arraignment. If you leave her at a fire house or hospital she will be cared for, but you will never see her again. If you find a couple to do an open adoption you can still be a small part of her life. Whatever you decide, you need your support group around you now, so please reach out!!

R.,

I'm so sorry that you and your precious daughter are having a hard time. You really do need some support. Please consider finding a church that offers small groups for singles or single parents. People that can teach, encourage, pray for you, and love on you. Our family is thinking of you and praying for you.

Well, sometimes we get ourselves into situations that are just beyond what we can handle.
I think admitting that you are at your wits end is a good start and you can make positive changes without having to abandon your child anonymously at a fire station. As you have said, you have relatives and your daughter has a father.
Talk to him first about taking your duaghter while you get back on your feet. Get a custody agreement in place that you can both live with. Shared custody can mean some weight taken off of your shoulders.
If he cannot care for her reach out to your immediate and extended family and find a relative that would be a guardian for her.

My sister once was in that very, very dark place that you were in. She had her kids taken from her after an attempted suicide - and she was in no condition to care for them. They lived with their father for two years and everyone in the family pitched in, myself included.
During that time my sister got her life back together and later got her kids back (shared custody) and now has a new husband, two more kids, her own business and a great life!
Sometimes all we need is a little help. Good luck!

Well, I'm very sorry you're so down on yourself. I urge you to seek some type of counseling somewhere -a church, women's shelter -there are many free places. I know your life seems like a mess now, but you CAN make it better. I have to say, that as sad as it is, I applaud you for thinking of your daughter and knowing when something needs to be done. GOOD FOR YOU! See -you're not a total screw up -you're THINKING of your child, which is a lot more than many people do! You also do work, so you have that going for you.

If you are truly at your wits end, and you feel you cannot deal with her another minute, then yes -please take her to the fire station or a hospital emergency room. Both places are "safe havens." Just make sure you actually take her in and give her to someone instead of leaving her outside.

What is your parents' take on all of this? You could go through the channels of putting her up for formal adoption and possibly even have an open situation where you would receive updates and pictures if you wanted to. I'm not saying this to make any judgments on anyone, but I'm betting you're white. While it's a great unfairness to other children in our world, white babies are in high demand and there is probably someone on a list with an agency right now who would be grateful to you beyond belief. Is the reason you're contemplating dropping her at the fire station because you think your parents or her dad will stand in your way?

This is something you MUST consider. Is her father active in her life? Does he pay any support or have any custody of her? If he does, then you must give him the option of taking her. You can't give her up without him knowing if he knows she's his child and he's had anything to do with her.

Now, back to you! How old are you? You can enroll in GED courses at local community colleges and vocational schools. Go to your local welfare office and ask for any information they have on places where you can get your high school diploma. They have it -I promise! After you have done that, look into what you think may interest you. If you want to go to college -fantastic! You can get loans and go to a local college, BUT many people initially overlook a lot of training for jobs they would like that doesn't take 4 years. You may want to be a vet tech, medical assistant, dental hygenist -the list goes on and on. While you're at the welfare office, get some info on continuing education. Think about what you would like to do. This will all take time, but it will be worth it!

You can't do anything about the DWI now except decide you'll never get another one. No matter where you are or what you're doing, if you have had anything to drink or have been doing any drugs -call a cab. I don't suggest this and it's wrong and you can be arrested, but even if it means you jump out and run when you get where you're going -don't EVER drive again unless you're completely sober.

I'm not sure what your criminal record is for, but depending there are many different levels about how much it will hurt you. Did it occur while you were a minor? If so, it's sealed. Is it shoplifting, drug possession -something of that nature or have you done time for robbing a home or store? It's hard to give you advice without knowing how serious your record is, but you can still persevere.

As for your teeth -it may take some time, but try to save a little bit of money here and there and get things done as you go. Go to a dentist as soon as possible for a cleaning and assessment. Tell them up front you have no money, but you need an idea of what should be done to make your teeth look good again. Go from there. Like the rest of it -school, etc. -it will take time, but put some stock in yourself. You're okay and if you were an awful person, you wouldn't care what happened to your child or be concerned with money, yourself or anything. If you could get into a good counseling group, it would probably help you immensely.

I wish you lots of luck. Check into a few different options before leaving your baby at a safe haven. If that's what you need to do though -do it. Better for her to be safe and cared for than not. Just cover yourself concerning her father and if you can wait a few days -check out some adoption alternatives. Look in the phone book for adoption agencies or even those places advertising "Pregnant? Need Help?" Planned Parenthood could also provide you with a list of resources. I hope you get it all turned around! You can make it -and keep remembering that you're WORTH making it.

gee I was a single mom with no education no insurance,no child support, i have dentures, and I just never got caught to get a dui and I raised a child on my own. with no welfare either I made to much to qualify. hmm I never even contemplated giving up my then 12 yr old. if you do give her up give her to dad. the way I did it was bought a trailer with my taxes for $2300 had no cable for years no phone, used a pager to know where my son was going to be. it cost me $10 a month and I knew what he was doing by the code he punched in. christmas come from dollar stores. I made to much to get food stamps so I wound up working 3 jobs. selling avon, bouncing in a bar, and a resturant during the day. so either get off you hiney and give you daughter to her dad and quit whining or get off your soap box make a decision and get cracking.you can get an education and grants to live on while you do it and grants to pay for your education. this I didnt learn till recently. the state will pay for your housing and food while you are in school so make use of it if you are low income which you probably are in the state of texas they will pay for you to get an associates degree which is more than what okla would do. they will pay for your housing and day care while you go to school so quit whining get your chin up decide to do something for you and your daughter and go for it. I am doing it at 42 you can do it too. texas has 20x the resources okla did and they implement them alot more.

excuses are like a**holes everyones got one and they all stink. so quit making excuses and become a survivor not another statistic. chin up woman life isnt going to get handed to you. sorry to be so mean but this is all true. quit with the pity party and learn to survive and check into angelfoodministires.com and you can get clothing from churches so what is your newest excuse I didnt shoot a whole through.

when I was a single mom I got the same advice from a single dad I just gave you. what he told me that set me back in line was my mom was a single deaf woman with 3 boys and if she can do it so can you. she wasnt capable of holding a job and never gave up on her kids. so hang in there.

I understand that you feel overwhelmed and if you really think this is the best decision for you and your daughter then so be it, but I hope that you will be 100% sure before you decide to give her up. I can tell you from experience that even if you know without a doubt that it is the best option you will never be the same again. I'm not saying this to scare you into making a different choice I'm just trying to pass on a warning. They will tell you in the counseling process when you go to give her up that it will be hard. You may think that you know how hard it will be but it isn't possible to imagine it at the time, it's a million times worse then you think it's going to be. They will give you chances to change your mind and if you even think for a second that you aren't doing the right thing then I beg you to back out for your own sake. Believe me there is nothing worse then waking up every day wondering what she looks like, where she is, what she's like and worst of all wishing you had never done it. Think about your choice before you make it because once it's done you can't ever turn back. Good luck.

I'm surprised how any people are telling you what to do. This is a decision you need to make on your own. Many women do the unselfish thing, they find great homes for babies they are not prepared to raise because they feel it is the best thing for their beloved child. I admire any woman strong enough to make that decision, to say even though this baby is adorable, cute and cuddly, I will give her the best life I can offer her no matter what that means. And many parents(usually older, married and financially stable) receive that gift of an adopted child and never for minute forget what a gift, what a blessing they have. There are so many couples out there longing to be parents, women should not be pressured to keep a baby just because it is socially less acceptable to make an adoption plan. Sometimes making a plan for a child to go to a sober, stable two parent home is the loving mature decision. So if that is what you decide to do, Make a plan, Choose a great family and know you did the right thing. But Think Long and Hard first, this is not a decision you should go back and forth on. Have you thought about this for a while? this is a decision YOU have to make and you shouldn't be influenced by others, can you provide her with the attention she wants? the unlimited patience she needs? or are you too stressed? Are you parents treating her like a beloved grandchild they are blessed to spend time with or a burden they are stuck with? Do you feel she is gift you are lucky to have or more than you can handle at this time of your life? A minister or counselor or social worker will help you sort out your feelings before you make this decision.
Good luck in whatever you decide,

I can't tell you what to do, but I greatly admire your honesty and your commitment to making sure your daughter has a good life. So many parents out there give up and don't consider the child. You are the opposite and are considering her first. I pray that you will find peace and the answer that is best for your little girl and yourself. Do not make any snap decisions. Some decisions you are considering cannot be undone and you do not want regrets for yourself or your daughter. Carefully consider all your options from all angles, but most importantly from your daughter's angle.

Do what you think is BEST for your child. If the father isn't best please don't send her to him bc you are frustrated. There are 3 things that a baby needs: a roof over her head (even if its with your parents), food in her tummy, and love in her heart. If she is getting these things then she will be a very happy baby. If you don't think you can give her this then it may be better for her to live in a better enviroment. Def check into wic, medicade, chip, food stamps ect. If you can get her on gov insurance then that solves your pay check problem. If there is too much income for medicade then try chip. Chip is gov insurance for children where you pay 0-$50 for the entire year of coverage and all normal wellness check ups are free. To give up a baby at 21 months will be very difficult on you and your daughter. Please dont make decisions when you are frustrated. There are so many places you can go to get FREE advice. Get your baby and drive to a local church and just talk about your problems! I promise someone will help you! BTW it is so easy to be frustrated when you have a baby at this age, don't beat yourself up just try to fix the problems!

R., Please don't give up on yourself or your daughter. You are NOT alone. I live in Keller and would be more than happy to work with you and encourage your strengths. Just take a moment for yourself and BREATHE.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for both of you. I have been a military wife for 21 years and my husband served in Iraq for 10 months in 07. At that time my daughter was 14 and my son was 2. It was the hardest year of my life and marriage but it made me stronger.

I CARE,
R. D

R.
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time and seeing your way through this point in your life. Sometimes it seems like everyone else knows something we don't..but believe me we all have screwed up at some point in our lives. I hope you find the strength to take care of yourself and your child. There are lots of resources out there in the Denton/Dallas County area. Try to access whatever help you can. CCA offers many different kinds of assistance and they are in Lewisville. TWU and UNT are great resources for sliding scale or even free counseling. Don't make rash decisions, find a counselor, friend, mentor, Pastor - someone you talk to and help you think through all of your options. There are most likely many you haven't considered.

Below are a couple of links for resources in Denton County.

www.ccahelps.org

http://dentoncounty.com/socialservices.asp

Whatever is making you look down on yourself and believe that you are a train wreck needs to change. You sound depressed and whether or not you give your daughter up, you need help for yourself to learn how to see yourself and life with hope and love. You need to find a church or place that does free counseling. I would go for a church, if I were you.

I'm soooo sorry to hear of your struggles:( I appreciate what all the other mama's have said and agree with most of them. The only thing I might add is that you sound like such a loving mama! :) I think you love your little girl so much you are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. This tells me it's a money thing and a feeling of helplessness due to your life circumstance. Change is difficult because positive change takes awhile to kick in sometimes. I know you want to throw in the towel right now and fear for your daughters future. It is a common feeling and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I know it feels like things will never get better, but until you've exhausted all of the resources your community offers for FREE to help women in your situation, I urge you to try your damnest to cling to the love you have for your daughter to find the strength to exhaust all those community resources before deciding. You'd be AMAZED at what is available for you and your daughter.

Can you have your daughter stay with your parents and then you stay with a friend for a week or so to see how you fare? Just take a break to cope? If I didn't read what sounded like sooooo much love for your daughter I might agree to give her up. But please trust love from a mama has no price tag and neither does love for a child. Money struggles change with time, as does employment and DUI's and justice system records. What never changes is you are your daughters mother.

Maybe loving her will help you learn how to love yourself more because all of your reasoning sounds sadly like you have lost some love for yourself. I don't know what your relationship is with your parents...maybe they influence you to not like yourself or maybe they love you with all their hearts. Find people who build you up and in the meantime, be that person for your daughter. If it's possible, take a break from both your parens and daughter and talk with someone about how to get out of this hole.

I wish you well and be proud of thinking about your daughters well being! Just know you are a big part of that well being with or without money:)

Thanks for your honesty. My kids are now 10 and 13, and while there are lovely times to look back upon, it was also at times incredibly tiring, difficult, frustrating and boring to deal with them when they were small. And I have a loving husband and our own (well, mostly the bank's haha) home and did not work until the youngest went to 1st grade. You are superwoman trying to do it all on your own. There were many days when I just had to go for a walk when hubbie came home and I handed him the kids. It all gets easier when they get older. It also helps to be somewhat strict so that they know what to expect - I tended to be too nice and do too much for them until I was overwhelmed and then I would blow up and then feel guilty. My husband "seemed" less loving at first, but his stricter method actually worked better since they did not expect as much from him (and did not take advantage). We are a team so we worked it out to be consistent.
Kids want to be with their real mom. Think of all the adopted children who try to find their real parents and need to know why they were not good enough to be kept by them. I think that your post, while it certainly sounds like you need a weekend to yourself, also indicates that you really love her. There is good advise here, hang in there and consider yourself hugged.

You sound so overwhelmed! Toddlers are so hard sometimes--they push and push limits (it is just the stage, that's how they learn). I'm in a pretty good situation and I still have days when I feel like have had it and can't stand my child another minute. I usually just call my mom and cry/vent. It is just hard to be a parent sometimes. Can a relative or friend watch the baby for a few hours or a day? If you get a decent night's sleep and a little time to yourself you will probably feel better and be more able to think clearly about a plan.

If you really want to give your child up, talk to child protective services. You can legally give up custody. However, the Safe Haven law is for giving up a new baby (I believe under 12 weeks). So don't just drop you child off at a police station or whatever unless you are at a point you feel you might harm her. But they may be able to offer you some other services or direct you to some in the community. You are probably eligible for some things. You need to figure things out in steps (immediate needs, short term plan, long term plan). In the long term you will probably need some further education or job training but it may make more sense to do that with a preschooler than this year. Toddlers are hard, but they grow fast. There is a pretty big difference between almost 2 and 3.

Having money/things is not what makes a childhood great. We didn't have much, did occasionally live with my dad's parents, but we had each other.

If you really want to give her up, please do not give her to her drug addicted father. Try to find a nice couple through an adoption agency.

You could try going to Catholic Charities or some other agency and see if they can help you, if you want to keep your daughter, or even if you want to give her up.

Your Daughter needs you.... it does not matter what material things you have or not.... she needs YOU. YOU are her Mom... she only knows you....
She needs YOU.
A child does not discriminate... all they know is their Mom is their Mom. And they love their Mom. NO matter what.
REMEMBER THAT.
Do not give her up.....
you may not ever... be able to get her back....
And she does not need to know... her Mom gave her up.... that will break her heart....

You live with your Mom, you have her roof over your head and your daughter's... have you spoken to your Parents about your hardships????
I am sure... they will NOT want you, to give up your daughter....

Once you get rid of your daughter or adopt her out or give her up... you will NOT be able to get her back... it will be very difficult.... and you will not be able to just change your mind.

Do not sacrifice your daughter... this way.
She NEEDS YOU.

DO NOT EVER, GIVE UP YOUR CUSTODY OF HER.
If you do, it will not bode well... and you may not be able to get her back... the others/your Ex, will use it against you... and keep your daughter AWAY from you. You will then LOSE... your daughter... forever, perhaps.
DO NOT give up your daughter NOR give up your Custody of her.
YOU are her Mom... she will ALWAYS NEED YOU. YOU.

all the best,
Susan

Hi R.,
I am sending you a hug. I really think that the fact you can acknowledge your shortcomings- and we all have them- is a sign that you are headed in the right direction.
I think you need to do what you think is right.
You might consider checking out CCA in Lewisville. I think they have a number of programs, even counseling, to help families and people.
I think all moms question whether they are doing the right thing for their children. And, love and spending time with your child far outweighs any monetary gift.
Good luck to you.

Consider me as an option. I have lost 5 children and they finally tied my tubes tied. We desperately want to adopt but cannot afford to spend 20 grand through the centers. I would gladly adopt your baby.

As Leslie says, you have a great profile picture. In that picture your little girl looks totally happy and so do you. You do not loook like someone sorry to have that child. Believe me, there is a difference. My former BIL did not like having kids and you can tell in every picture. You posted a response to another mom taht was totally overwhelmed in Octobe. I think you should read your advice and maybe take a few steps back to follow it. It is extremeley difficult to give up a child forever. Is there anything at all that you can do to fix the problems taht yo list in your question? Break them down and tell yourself what can be done. There are many people who have overcoome a ton of obstacles and beat them down. You need to decide if you do in fact want to give up--conitnuing in a downward spiral if that is how uyou look at things--or say "screw it all" I am going to beat it all. You have no education--go get it. There are programs available. Find them. A criminal record--in the past, work toward the future. DWI under your belt, well, tha'ts done. Don't do it again and teach your daughter right from wrong. Can't get a raise, why not. Get your education and get that raise. Then you can move even farther and get yuor own place. I am sure you do have some positive things to say about yourself. Think about those before you give up.

Don't give her up!! Children just want their mommies no matter what. You have a safe place to live - so what if it's with your parents? How many other cultures do that? I've seen 3 generations in plenty of houses! I'm not the most forgiving person but if you have a job and are trying, you're way ahead of plenty of people. Not everyone is a natural mother and if that's the case, the younger years are harder. I am much happier as a mother now that my children are older. And I didn't have financial issues and have a husband/father. If the dad is good enough to give her to full time, just get him more involved if possible -both time and $$. You're having a bad time - everyone does. But your daughter just wants mommy. Do your best and that will be good enough. Plenty of moms don't care as much as you do. You may think you don't but just by posting shows you do! Just because you don't have an education doesn't mean she can't. Stick with her and work with her and it'll be worth it.

Get help, there are a lot of resources out there to help people going through rough patches. Don't give up on yourself you can get financial aid and go to school. There are also a lot of other resources out there. I don't think giving her up for adoption is a good idea. When you are down on yourself is not a good time to make a decision that will shape the rest of your life. Could you talk to a case worker, I have heard of people putting their children in foster care while they get on their feet. Figure out a plan, where do you want to be in 2 years? Five years? How can you make that happen? Start taking baby steps. Sending you a hug, you do not sound like a bad mother.

If you are just overwhelmed today,I understand. Take a nap. Get a sitter and go somewhere alone that you can recharge your battery. We all get down sometimes. We all have that mommy guilt sometimes. You can improve your situation. It's not too late. Look into financial aid. With a child you will qualify for a lot of aid to go to school. There are housing programs, medicaid, food stamps. A lot of people have made it through what you are going through just fine. You say you aren't cut out for motherhood, but here you are, asking for help. You care enough to know what needs to be fixed. I say that counts for something.
These are some decisions you can't take back. If you drop her off you lose all chance to have a say in what happens to her. If you are truly thinking of what's best for her than take a few steps back. Clear your head. "Dumping" sounds like what's best for you, not her. You can safely, lovingly, place your child in foster care, just until you get your stuff together or you can put her up for adoption if being a mom just isn't for you. But go through proper channels. The only way the fire house is a good idea, is if you think you might harm her. There are a lot of women that I wish would've had the courage to say the things you are and get help before they hurt the baby. Talk to your mom. Talk to somebody that cares. I will say a prayer for you and Ashlee.

If you are sure - and it sounds like you are really trying to consider Aslee's future - you could look into open and closed adoptions. Either process would likely be a lot less traumatic for her than simply leaving her at the fire station or local hospital (plus there are rules which govern those programs and age of the infant may be involved - you certainly don't want to be prosecuted for abandonment). If you are not sure - maybe sit down and make a list of the things you can do to improve your situation (do your parents watch her - if so can you take a class that will help you get a raise at work, does she qualify for CHIPS insurance so you only need to get health insurance for yourself at work - much cheaper)
Best wishes

Wow!!!
Slow down there. Take a few deep breaths! I know life gets tough and it's not easier for some more then others. Does the father pay any kind of child support? Maybe you should take that in to consideration. Don't beat yourself up over this. I dont think you can leave a child at that age at the fd. You could really get in to some big trouble for child abandement!
You should talk to someone in your family (like your parents) about how you are feeling. Have you tried food stamps, or even some sort of programs that help struggling single parents? Im glad that you have reached out as a first step to us moms but you might need to take a look in the mirror and see that maybe you need some help for yourself. Im not saying your a bad mother or anything but please don't keep your emotions tied off, let someone in. Even if its not your parent, try counseling or even someone at a church. Lots of places like that are not only for those who go but for those who seek assistance as well.
My thoughts are with you!
Don't give up!
What we may find hard and tough can only make us stronger! Please keep us updated!!!

R.,
I am so sorry you are going thru this. But you seem to care about your daughter enough to realize that maybe you just can't take care of her right now. There is help out there and if you call Catholic Charities they can help you.
I hope your life can turn around and you find happiness. You seem like a strong woman.
God Bless you

I read though some of your pervious posts and answers... I get that you are tired, worn out, and just plan over it. but even within all that frustration you are, first of all, not alone. I may not be exactly in your shoes but many woman have been there and gotten through it, reaching out as you have shows the courage that you have to seek for the help you need. only you can make the decision that is best for you and your beautiful daughter. I encourage you to continue to reach out to those around you for support, if you do not belong to a church family I encourage you to find a church that can offer you the support you need to get through all that you are faced with.

Although you can take your daughter to a safe baby site, I would encourage you to not to. If you feel you must give up your daughter contact one of the places other have suggested and work towards a open or private adoption, remember you are wanting to do what is best for you daughter and taking her to the fire station and leaving her there, would have lasting traumatic affects on her. But if the love and support from all these responses have given you the courage to go on, then I rejoice with you and encourage you to keep up the fight, because some days can just tear you down.

you have received may helpful suggestions, I would check them all out, but also contact WIC to see what resources they have that can help you. WIC is Women Infants and Children (you can google them or look them up in a phone book to find the closest office) I used them 10 years ago when my first son was born, and again with my second, not sure what all they do now but back then you could get health care for you child for the first 5 years of their lives for free, I also got food vouchers to help with basics. They were wonderful when I needed the help.

don't give up! work toward a better future, leave the past behind, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and realize that they do not define who you will become in the future.

R.,
I am so sorry that your circumstances are so difficult at this time. I would say that motherhood is difficult for anyone. If you feel that adoption is a better option for the both of you then call around, or do a private adoption. If you did leave her in a baby safe area you would probably replay it over and over again and you would always wonder what happened to her. If it is just pure frustration because you need help then maybe giving her up isn't the option, ask and ask and ask for help. Ask for PRAYER!
You have a past, who doesn't...everyone has sinned, everyone makes mistakes, ask for forgiveness and move on. Look for a small church and find friends who will lift you up. I know it takes money to live but it doesn't take money for your daughter to love you.
I pray that God gives you the strength and insight to do what is best for the both of you. I pray that God eases your mind and lifts you up from the cast down opinions you have of yourself. You can do this!
I will continue to pray for you and your daughter, hopefully others will read this and do the same.

Hi R.
If giving her up is truly what you want then start taking the necessary steps to do this.
Get in contact with local social services or get someone you trust to do it for you.
If it is not what you truly want I would still advise to ask for help.
Wishing you all the strength
B.

Here's the closest counseling program I could find for you:
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CCD Family Tree Counseling
http://www.ccdcounseling.com/
1512 Scripture
Denton, TX 76201
800-897-7068 Lewisville

Days/Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9:00am to 5:00pm

Description: Offers family counseling and support for ages 0-17 and their families.

Fees: All services under the Family Tree Program are free for those who qualify.
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You can also go yourself to the Texas 211 web site https://www.211texas.org/211/search/sear…
and the Community Council of Greater Dallas web site http://www.refersoftware.com/ccgd/ to search for more resources that might be of help to you. (Finding less expensive housing and places that offer free food or clothing might also also help to relieve some of the stress of what your family's going through.)

And I just found one more resource - right in Lewisville: http://www.ccahelps.org/our_programs/fam… This is their mission statement: "CCA’s Family Assistance program is designed to fulfill the immediate and crucial needs of families during crisis. This may mean the loss of a job, illness, fire or another situation that limits the family’s access to food, clothing, shelter or the ability to pay their bills." I'm thinking they'd also be a good source of referrals to local counselors.

I'm looking at the picture you posted of you and your daughter. She looks so joyful to be in her mother's arms. I can't imagine the devastation it would cause her to be dumped at the fire station or given to another family. This is not a decision you should make under stress.

I had decided to give my baby up for adoption, but once my son was born. I couldn't do it. I didn't have $10 to my name, I still lived (and still do) live with my parents, I had no items for a baby, I ended up using my sisters crib, my parents had to buy everything for my son for the first 3 months. Basically what I'm saying is that I had nothing. I had to drop out of school (theatre major and I was almost done) had to quit work because I was so sick during my pregnancy.
With all of those things that I didn't have, I knew I had my son. The one thing that truly belonged to me. I was of course very depressed because the life that I thought I was going to go back to once I signed away my son, wasn't the one I was currently living. One day I realized that the life that I had been living wasn't were I was supposed to be heading. I then enrolled in a small city college for Executive Office Administration. I found another job that I love! I have never felt better in my life. I know have a sense of direction in life. I'm able to give my son, not everything, but more than before. And he is so happy to be with me. I couldn't live with out him, and I'm so glad and overjoyed that the love I feel for and from him.
Perhaps you just need to sit down and think of goals that you want. Yearly, 3 year, 5 year plan. Figure out if you can or can't live with out that beautiful smile your daughter gives you. Try looking for better jobs, see what kind of student loans and grants you can get.
Don't give up. If you still feel that your daughter wont have a great life with you, then don't just drop her off at a firestation. There she'll be in the states custody and the chances of getting a good foster home is slim. I'm sure you're not LDS (mormon) but we have family services including adoption. This way you can pick the good family, and not hope. Or I'm sure any other adoption agency will let you. Call and get information.
Also, you can talk to me anytime. I'm here all you have to do is personal message me and we can talk. I understand the hopelessness you are going through. Love and hugs!

If you are having this kind of attitude about your life, sorry to tell you you're right it isn't going anywhere. You have to WANT to change things, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn't doing anyone any good, especially that little girl.

You didn't say how old you were or how good of a father her dad was. Dad should be helping with financial (and if he can be trusted) physical support. Education and health can be taken care of, try looking at Jobcorps (you must be in your 20's) they will provide you with your (but not your girl's) needs while giving you an education. They start with GED and go all the way up to an associate's degree. They will make allowances for background and move as quickly or slowly as you need. Look into it, it may be the fresh start you are looking for.

I am so sorry you are having these struggles because this precious girl of yours is such a blessing. I cannot imagine what you must be going through, all I know to do is pray for you, your life, and your precious angel Ashlee and you make the right decision. You stated something about giving her up to her dad. What kind of life would she have with him? Has he been in her life all along? Would he be a good and loving parent? If so, then that would be the best solution so hopefully you both could work out some terms where you could stay in her life. She is almost 2 and she really needs her mother. However, if the father is not going to give her the best kind of life she truly deserves and does not want to take her of either, then I would not go there. I think you need to get with the father and discuss all aspects of this situation. I know you cannot put her up for adoption if he refuses for you to do so. This situation makes me so want to cry because again, children are a blessing from God and God does not give you more than you can handle. Please, I beg of you to really pray and think about what you are doing. You might consider talking to a church that can give you some help. I know you said insurance is going up, but have you tried applying for Medicaid which would be free for you and your daughter. Nothing is too big for God to answer if you call on his name. I will pray for you.

I am so sad to hear of your situation! If you choose to give your baby girl up for adoption there are many families wanting to adopt! I recommend contacting Christian Homes at 1 -800-592-4725. Our family has adopted through this non profit ministry that truely cares about people! I wish you and your daughter the very best!

R., please don't give her up.
Let us help you get some help, just reach out more to us.
I'm praying for you R..
Please keep us posted ok?
~A.

P.S. I read once that "the only thing a mother does wrong is dies."

R.,
I can tell that you love your daughter very much. You're having a hard time right now. I read in one of your previous posts that Ashlee's dad does drugs and can't hold down a job. You know you can't give her to him. That's not an environment fit for a child. Have you looked into food stamps or getting a medical card through the state for your daughter? That alone would cut down your medical costs. Have you looked for a waitressing job in the evenings or on weekends? Is there someone (your parents) that could help with babysitting during those times? I know people who have paid their kids college tuition by waitressing- no kidding!

Would you be able to forgive yourself if you took your daughter to a fire station and walked away? Is that even legal in TX at 21 months? If you're serious about leaving your daughter you need to do it in a way that isn't harmful to her. You need to speak with a reputable adoption agency and form a plan to ease her into whatever you decide.

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Stay strong, and know that there are people praying for you.

I would glady adopt also. Don't give up on yourself regardless. It's never too late to get an education, stop drinking, or choose another path. God loves you so much. Just ask Him to help you and make Himself real to you. He did to me and my life changed for the better! When all else fails like it has, look up. If you decide to give your baby up for adoption. It doesn't mean your giving up on you or her. It is a selfless act. It means you want a better life for her. Just make sure its what you really want. We have gone through two failed adoptions with the same baby. My 2nd cousin kept taking him back. She loved him but felt she couldn't provide.

Girl you need someone to walk along side you during this time; I recommend a Stephen Minister through a church.....they will help you get things on the right track. Cottonwood Creek has this ministry but that is in Allen, but that may be too far.

My mom was a single mom and had issues; don't give up......I am forever grateful for my mom never giving me and my twin up. Find resources....call 2-1-1 for local resources that will help you.....PRAY for the Lord to open doors for you.......find someone to walk along side of you!!!

I would talk to a counselor and see what kind of options you have. Is their anything your parents can do to help?

You have good advice. But I don't think giving her to her dad is a good idea.

Good luck.