Sleep - Quakertown, PA

My sons sleeping habits changed for the better once he got his tubes. He started to sleep thru the night, and naps were longer, so hopefully this will happen for you also. It was one of the best things we could have done for him. Good luck!
N.

Is there any reason you can't just lie down next to him? Children cry to communicate, not manipulate, kwim? Maybe he just needs that extra reassurance from you at this time in his life. Crying it out can be extremely traumatic for baby and for you!
Building a relationship with your child by responding to his needs will eventually reassure him that 'hey, its ok to nap, mom will come back if I need her.".
Also, have you tried switching his nap time? If he is crying for an hour, he may not be tired. He's probably cranky because he's been crying for so long. I know when I get that upset, Im just not myself for the rest of the day. As babies get older their nap time may need to be adjusted at times. My son used to go down for his nap at `12:30, but as he got older I had to move it back (its now around 1:30 -2pm) because he just wasn't sleepy.
Good luck!

My daughter did the same thing--slept through the night with no problem, but would not nap, no matter what I tried. I tried letting her cry (she would cry for hours, and never fall asleep), sitting in her room with her, but not looking at her, all of it. I even got in her crib with her once. When we were getting her to sleep through the night, letting her cry with periodic visits worked, but it didn't work during the day (and we did have room darkening shades in her bedroom!) So eventually, I just surrendered. At naptime, I would put a book, glass of water, tv remote, and phone next to my rocking chair, and just let her nap while I held her. She still slept through the night with no problem, and she got good naps, which helped both of us. And, now that she's 8, I still treasure the memory of those hours of holding her, watching her sleep, and enjoying that closeness.

By the way, as she got older, and was out of her crib, I would put her for naps in her bed--my rule was that "you don't have to sleep, but you do have to lay quietly and close your eyes." More often than not, she would fall asleep. She and I still joke about that little naptime trick--she said that someday she's going to use that one on her kids!

Good luck!

Hi Gerri sounds fam. to me! I was having trouble with my little girl and not sleeping. I was a zombie most of the time and alot more stress...lol! For me I found that where I had musical things in her crib, I bought something from toys r us that plays like 7-9 different sounds one being a heart beat. I tried most of the other sounds but when it came to the hear beat, wow...what a difference. The other thing is that we did the "cry it out" so to speak, it is very hard not to want to pick them up while they are cry either cause you feel bad or sometimes it gets to you..but every 5 mins we would go over, re assure her we were there and put back her binky give her a couple pats on the back and walk away...it took a couple weeks but now she is sleeping at night. As far as naps goes just in the last few months she started being different with her naps. I started making sure that I get her up by 9 at the lastest, even is she was up later for some reason. I bought her a little fold out sofa at walmart, with dora..they have em for boys too. I put that in the living room and when she wont take a nap in her room I set her down in the living room. put up the gate sit in the other room and read or do dishes and she climbs on the sofa "it pulls out into a lounge" and falls asleep. Maybe this is bending but she naps for an hour or so. Also for you at different ages they do change their nap habits. She did go through a brief period she wouldnt nap. I am not sure if this help, sorry if I rambled. But I do understand, I hope you are taking nice long baths at night lol you deserve it!
J.

When our son was having difficulty sleeping we would put him in his swing or bouncer and he would cry for a little while but the swinging or vibrations from the bouncer would eventually soothe him to sleep. It's worth a try because nap time is just as important to you as it is to him. Good luck.

Hi Gerri,

I too am a first time mom and my son is 14 mos old. He also has had multiple ear infections; fortunately for him it hasn't been chronic and he is not close to needing tubes (but as a child I had tubes twice in my ears, so I am fearful he will be on the same path). I know exactly what you mean about sleeping well at night while the naps go by the wayside. It took me about a month (between the ears and his molars - yikes!) to get him to relax during his naps, but I was persistent and consistant about his routine and time at which he goes down. I give him his favorite stuffed animal and rock him until he gets really drowsy and then I lay him down partially awake (as I do at bedtime). I also used a bit of the ferber method as long as I knew he wasn't sick or in pain. If he was in pain, I would give him tylenol about a 1/2 hour before his nap time that way it would ease the pain and I didn't feel so bad about letting him cry it out....but they know you are around and know that you are more likely to get them during the day....so carry your same methods out for nap as you do bed and hopefully in about a week, it will work itself out. Now, my son takes about 2 to 2 1/2 hour naps - this is compared to 1/2 hour 45 min naps.

Good Luck!

when my kids gave me a hard time with naps we bought a large (and I mean LARGE) floor pillow for naps. I would give them their binky's, a blanket and I would lay down and announce "Nap time" Then I would "go to sleep". They would lay down with me after a minute or two and were a sleep within 5...then I'd get up and do whatever. After a while they would lay down first and say "come on Mommy...nap!" Sometimes I would even nap too! When not in use we would put the pillow in the corner of the room out of the way. Good luck & best wishes

I think you should try a method that I saw on Supernanny....crazy, I know, but friends have tried it and it works. Whether it is nap or bedtime try this..... go through your routine as usual for putting him down, then sit right next to his crib where he can see you, but do not make eye contact and do not talk to him or respond to him. He will cry and call for you, but you must not make eye contact. This is very hard and will pull at your heartstrings, but you have to be strong. The thought is that he will eventually tire out and go to sleep. You are placed next to his crib so he still feels safe with you there. Just don't make eye contact. As each day goes by, position yourself just a little further from the crib (moving toward the door) sitting there until he goes to sleep. Hopefully within about 7-9 days you are positioned at the door and he is better able to fall asleep quicker. Again, friends of mine have tried it and it has worked. I was fortunate enough to not have to use it, but would if needed. Good luck! :)
PS- I am a mother of 2 children ages 4 and 2. I also am a teacher and I teach kindergarten.

With my three sons I read Mothering Magazine cover to cover and was amazed at how much information and support I found in those pages. I also read a book called The Continuum Concept-- can't think what the author's name was. But that book was also a huge help. In her book she makes it clear how important it is to hold your child-- really as much or more than you might think possible. And it has been my experience as a mother that holding my children has calmed them and assured them and given them an emotionally healthy beginning. I think you are mistaken when you say that holding you baby while he naps is unhealthy for you and him. I bet it's exactly what he needs. My sister worked in a hospital for many years in the pre- and post-natal units and she told many stories of sick babies who, regardless of the style of parenting they had been brought up with, REFUSED to be put down while they were sick. I think there must be some innate wisdom on the part of babies- sometimes they just need what they need, and whether or not we understand why, they will insist. My first child took all his naps in my arms- and I even managed to do housework sometimes. It got much harder to do that with my second or third baby- so many of us and so many needs, it got harder to always put the baby first. But I have noticed a gentling factor with each child-- the more I have held them the calmer, happier a child they became. Even now with my middle child (now 6) when he gets into a tough period, for whatever reason, I make an effort to hold him closer, more often, and I can't tell you how quickly and deeply he responds. Of course there are always many factors.
I encourage you to read and research, and follow your heart. A mother who follows her own heart in parenting matters usually comes out a stronger, more steady parent. Good luck to you, I know it is not easy having your life taken over by a baby- even one so precious as your own!
C.

I don't know if this will help but I do have a suggestion.

Try sitting in your bed and holding him at naptime. Once he gets used to that after a couple of days, try lying down with him in your bed. Once you get him used to lying down, try putting him in his bed. If that still doesn't work for you, try putting a blanket on the floor in the living room and lying there with him. Once he is asleep, you can get up and let him lie there and sleep while you get things done around the house. Alternatively, if you need a nap, you can catch one too.

Hope this helps. Good luck with your little guy.

My kids have gone through phases where they don't want to nap. During any given phase some things that helped to fix the issue were using room darkening shades or curtains to block out the daylight, playing soothing music or lullabyes, making sure they had eaten and weren't hungry, working more physical playing (for a 10 month old maybe practicing crawling/walking, rolling balls, dancing/moving to songs/stories)into our schedule so they would be tired. These tactics worked well for us when the kids were infants/toddlers.

I had a similar problem with my twin boys napping in their swings. I knew they were close to outgrowing the swings and wanted to get rid of the habit. Plus, I heard that kids nap a lot better in their cribs then in swings, car seats, etc. It was really aggravating because I would get them into a deep sleep, pacifier in and finally be able to transfer them into their crib. Then, they would wake after 20 minutes!! I just stuck to it and eventually they started sleeping longer. After they were sleeping well at nap time in their cribs, I let them cry it out to go to sleep.

Wow, are you talking about my exact situation or what! I let my son cry for almost 2 hours one time. I have no secrets, other than that I would lay him down in his crib on his back (he would immediately cry) and I would pat his tummy, saying "its going to be okay." I'd back up a little and let him watch me. I would do this nap after nap until finally he was okay with me leaving and would stop crying. Unfortunately, this took months. I know you're desperate for help and maybe some mom has something really brilliant. But, I found the only two things that helped were 1) letting him see me leave and eventually come back in with a cheery "good morning! Time to wake up!" when "nap time" was over (even if he never slept a wink during the whole time ) and 2) time -- he will grow out of it. (my son is now 2 and sleeps 12 hours at night and is the easiest kid to put down to nap b/c we worked and worked with it.) The pacifier helped (but get rid of it at about 18 months b/c after that he'll really be attached to it). A little blankie helped. And, not rocking him to sleep helped. I really hope that helps you! I like to think of it as that you and I have little boys that will eventually take the world by storm!

I have seen "SuperNanny" use a technique that seems to work, and have actually heard other people mention it as well. Start out sitting on the floor, not facing crib, and let him cry. Do not speak to him, do not make eye contact with him, just sit there so that he can see you. After a couple of days (it may have been 2 or 3) move a little bit farther away. Continue this until you've worked your way out of the room. I've heard that it usually only takes a few days. But the REALLY important part is to stay silent and not make eye contact. The idea is to show him that you have not abandoned him and he is safe, but not to engage in conversation. I feel for you...I've been there and it is a rough thing to go through. I'm hoping this will help you!
Good luck and take care,
A.