Seperation Anxiety at 4? - King of Prussia,PA

My 2nd grandson had terrible separation anxiety and didn't ever want to go to school. I suggested that my daughter give him a special treasure every day that would be put in his pocket (they weren't allowed to have things at school so it had to be small and in his pocket) that only he and his mommy knew about. The treasures were things like a bottle cap or a shiny rock or a leggo block. Nothing big just a little something that he could slip in his pocket so he has a secret at school.It made him feel important and he never complained about going to school as long as he had a treasure from his mommy.

Maybe the school can give you more information. I think some pieces of the puzzle are missing. I think you can have anxiety like this at any age, kids are just more vulnerable to it because of their lack of coping skills. Just give him LOTS of extra time with you until you can get to the bottom of it.

Very common developmental phase that will pass. Just give your little one lots of hugs and extra reassurance. Imaginations are exploding at this age and there's a realization that something could happen to him when he isn't with you and vice versa. Hang in there, mama.

According to the info from my son's developmentalist, there are typically 3 times that separation anxiety happens: as an infant, usually around 9mos; as a toddler, usually around 18mos, as a preschooler, usually around 3-1/2 to 4yo.

So, as heartbreaking as it might be, it may be just one of the many phases that needs to pass. Good luck!

My DS is going through this at 3.5.
My best friend is a child psychologist, and in our quest to figure this out, she's asked me the following questions. See if any of these help you get to the core:

1. Are you travelling/changing work/schedule shifting at all?
2. Is your hubby/spouse/his dad?
3. Is there stress at home? Money, marriage, etc...?
4. Any friends of his move away or become socially unavailable?
5. Any new people in his life taking a major role?
6. Any dramatic schedule shifts for him recently?

All of these or parts of them put together can trigger separation anxiety. There's not much you can do to treat it, other than to be consistent in your approach and to leave quickly. We've added books to our routine, as well as a hand written schedule of each day's activities. That way he can see the order of things happening. ie: we will leave, you'll do x, y, z at school, we'll come back to get you, have dinner, etc...
Kind of a pain, but we've seen improvement with it.