Seeking Moms - Schenectady,NY

Please take your son to see a mental health professional as soon as possible. Your son has got to be feeling very unhappy and he needs help. My son was really angry at your sons age and I took him to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with depression (I'm not saying that your son has depression) and within days of taking a mild antidepressant, his anger subsided. I also started taking him to a counselor. If you don't have insurance, there should be a free service in your county for mental health. Call your county mental health department for this information. Please give us an update on how your son is doing. I wish you and your family the very best.

C.:

Welcome to mamapedia!!

I'm sorry. My boys haven't had this happen. Yes, they have been angry - but not like this. Part of it is age - but that does NOT excuse it. Even girls slam doors. But the wanting to hurt others, NOT normal...

Talk with your pediatrician. Tell him/her what is going on.
Talk with the counselor and teachers at school. Find out if he has the same problem at school or only at home. Ask for referrals.

Do NOT allow him to rule the roost. Sorry. He's a child. You are parent. If you don't feel you can handle him on your own, reach out to professionals - counselors, therapists, doctors, etc. to get your son the help he needs.

Good luck!

Oh my goodness this must be so hard for you. I can only imagine. My children are young so I can't say I've experienced this but you did the right thing in posting here. You'll get a lot of great advice from many moms that have been or are in your situation. My only advice is this...I listened to a show last week and a mother called in with the same situation. What the doctor recommended was that she seek a child psychologist or other mental health professional that work with children. Your child's school guidance counselor may have services or specific professionals to recommend to you. You are not alone. You are doing the right thing by reaching out! Best of luck to you and keep us informed on your progress.

I urge you to get counseling, not only for your son but also for yourself and your daughters. This situation is toxic for all of you. Your son needs to be evaluated. You need to learn ways to deal with him.

Find out thru counseling why he is so angry. If he doesn't learn how to deal with his anger what he does when he's anger will escalate. What you describe now doesn't sound so scary. Throwing things and slamming doors is common at this age. So is making threats. He hasn't learned ways to manage anger.

I suggest that he's crying out for attention. When you become frightenedand withdraw he becomes frightened and begs for forgiveness. When you withhold that he becomes angry again. The two of you are in a downward cycle that needs to be stopped. You desperately need professional help.

This is really a tough age...lots of things going on in school with friends and kids determining pecking order. I imagine the anger is coming from other places besides home. I agree, someone needs to get him to open up about what's going on in his life.

My dd is pretty open with me. I find she talks when were in the car and we're not looking at each other. Also, I lay with her a few minutes before she goes to sleep and we talk then. There's something about being in a dark room that makes her open up.