Is My Son Depressed? Does He Need Therapy? at the End of My Rope!

It's time to seek professional help. He needs to be seen by a psychiatrist for an evaluation. His pediatrician should be able to give a referral. A specialist can determine the best treatment plan.

I would take him to a psychologist for evaluation. He may be depressed or not. Maybe he's just defiant. Maybe he isn't sleeping well. Make an appointment for him to have a physical.

I do think his environment and the ways he's disciplined is a major ca use of his behavior. Learn more about what is normal at this age and how you and his Dad could do things differently. I strongly recommend reading Love and Logic for Teens.

Your son needs professional help.

He's at an age where an alarm clock should wake him up and he should NOT need someone else to wake him.

Please, talk to your son's pediatrician. Ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or even an in-patient option. This is more than just teenage angst, this is serious.

Good luck!

Please put your son inpatient. He needs an extended stay in a mental health facility and to see what life is like out of mom or dad's house. He needs that evaluation time to see if they can diagnose anything.

We put my daughter in Norman at a youth place and they didn't even let us see her for the first few weeks. They pushed her and pressed her and set her up to fail. The reason they did this is because they want to make them mad, piss them off to the extreme, they want to see them at their worst so they don't get the frosting that's covering the mess underneath.

After several weeks of this they invite the family to come during the day and do therapy with the kiddo. It's a whole day of stuff sometimes. And yes, they're going to push you and piss you off and try to see past your facade too.

They came back with amazing insight and it helped us to fix our family life and make our whole family better.

To get to the root of the problem it's going to take time. It's not like he's going to pass this year anyway so take him out of school and fix this.

There's always Provo Canyon School isn't there? We had friends who sent their daughter there and she's a productive adult know with multiple degrees and is currently an RN going for her Nurse practitioner degree.

She learned she didn't even have the privilege of sitting in a chair until she'd earned it. She quickly found out that doing what she was asked to do got her a lot more peace and happiness.

I agree it wouldn't hurt to have him seen/evaluated by mental health professionals. I would try that first, maybe they could recommend some type of peer support group or other method that might reach your son.

I HATED high school. The routines, cliques, favoritism, etc. etc. I didn't care about my grades and would pass a 'hard' class and fail all the rest. My parents were divorced and both worked. I went to counseling, but HATED that too and rarely took the medicine prescribed. When I turened 17 I signed myself out of high school and into an alternative school. I was able to make up two years worth of credit in one year and graduated. I just needed the change in environment. So, don't be afraid to explore other possibilities :)

There's an excellent book I'd suggest to you and your ex husband. Read it and then pass it on to him. Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. Check it out from the library. I think it could really help your family.

I also think your son is in desperate need of an evaluation by a behavioral health professional and treatment with counseling. As soon as possible. There are a TON of resources available to you. Check out this site for some resources in your area. http://dsamh.utah.gov/mental-health/

Good luck.

It rarely hurts to seek professional help when you don't know what else to do. I would ask his pediatrician or the school counselor for a referral.

I'd have him evaluated at an emergency mental health facility, or by a psychiatrist.

Sorry, I had to run out, so know I can write more. Your son is displaying many warning signs of depression as well as other symptoms such as aggression, hostile thoughts and outbursts, anti-social mannerisms . Some can be attributed to normal teen attitudes, but his seemed to be heightened , unable to redirect, and continuous.

Definetly look into a therapist/ psychiatrist. Act now before he acts on his impulses.you have cause to be concerned, and I am glad you are wanting to find him help. This cannot be avoided.

Talk to your school counselor and your family doctor to get a reputable name of a counselor to have him evaluated. IMO, you're past the point of what either of you can handle and its time to bring in a professional

ETA: I just glanced at your previous posts and I see that you have had periodic issues with him along these same lines over the past 6 years. Were there times when he wasn't behaving disrespectfully and hating school? If so, can you figure out what circumstances might be changing and triggering his behavior? I wonder, however, whether he has had some issues going on for a while which have peaked right now. You folks really need to get him in to see a professional pronto.

I agree with the others that based on what you have said, he is certainly in some kind of deep mental distress and needs a professional to help him start sorting things out. I'm going to assume that he hasn't always acted like this, that the terrible performance in school, nasty comments, and constant anger only developed a few years ago. Profound changes in behavior would be a sign that something is wrong and needs attention.

Suz has an interesting idea, to make him responsible for his choices regarding school. As long as he doesn't get to play on the computer all day if he chooses to skip school, that might make him change his perspective on it. Truly, it takes two to fight and if you and his father refuse to struggle with him over school, he is just left with himself. The key thing, however, is that he and probably you parents need to get some help from others to start dealing with the root causes of his anger. Sending good thoughts!

Why hasn't the school gotten involved? Do they not see what you see?

His behaviors are indeed pretty extreme. You should get some mental health intervention. Lowest level would be the school counselor or school psychologist, but you should probably work quickly toward an actual MEDICAL mental health professional. Or at least intense therapy with a therapist who specializes in adolescent boys.

My first thought was that he might do well in a highly structured boarding school/bootcamp type environment where they have no choice but to fall in line and then they realize how good they actually had it before at home. BUT if your mama instinct tells you that the root of this is depression, you should seek medical intervention first.

It's okay to admit you need outside help with your child.

well, counseling is sort of a no-brainer, isn't it? this is clearly a kid in crisis.
it doesn't sound as if homeschooling would be possible here, which would be the first thing i'd do with a kid who has learned to hate learning so much.
so i see two issues here. the first is the anger and bitterness and potential violence, which certainly need professional intervention.
then there's the fighting about school, a battle i'd decline. sometimes kids need to be allowed to fail in order to truly understand the consequences of their actions. right now he can use it as a whip on you and his dad, but if you don't engage, he's faced with doing the work and moving forward, or being defiant and being held back. i'm sure if asked he'll say he doesn't care, but dimes to doughnuts he'll reconsider if allowed to face it head-on.
remember, failing a grade doesn't mean failure in life. sometimes it's a necessary wake-up call. and despite the perception of the GED as being a bad thing, it doesn't matter diddly 98.9% of the time. i didn't homeschool my kids under an umbrella so they both got GEDs. went to community college, and were accepted at every university to which they applied.
give him control over the school stuff. have a zero tolerance policy for making ugly remarks about punching you. and if he doesn't go to school, he can sit like a mushroom. no tv or internet access for kids who want to do nothing.
that gets old pretty quickly.
khairete
S.

I agree with Doc7287. I hated high school as well. I ended up dropping out and getting my GED (and went on to an associate degree, then a bachelor's, then a doctorate). Going to a community college changed my life immensely. Instead of "peers" who were obsessed with appearances, grades, social clubs and whatnot, they were real people of all ages with jobs, families, and kids. I felt like I'd joined the world for the first time.

If it were me, I would ask him if he wants to quit. If he says yes, then brainstorm ideas for him to further his education without public high school. There are many opportunities now (like online high school) that didn't exist when I was younger.

Good luck.

Don't wait. Seek outside help - punishing your son for showing signs of depression is the worst response possible. Please use all of the resources the other mommas mentioned. Yell, scream, jump up and down to get what you need for him.

Good luck.

Is my son depressed? Yes
Does he need therapy? Yes
At the end of my rope! Who wouldn't be.

After reading all of the comments I will agree with many that this is not something that a mere weekly appointment is going to fix. The fact that this type of behavior has gotten to such a degree means that this has continuously gotten worse for MANY years.
At this point you have to go to an extremes and have your child admitted to a hospital for some serious psychological work. Seriously, being inatitutionalised for serious work by professionals is all I can think of at this point. You would hate for your child to 'lose it' on someone else.

Could you start by having him see the school counselor?
Maybe he would open up to NOT mom or dad.
Go from there.
Good luck!