Seeking Information

It might not be a good idea to mention weight right now. Just keep telling her how much you love her, regardless of size. I found after my second it was EXTREMELY difficulty to lose weight, partly because I was so darn busy. Two kids under five are seriously time consuming. When my husband mentioned my weight I got defensive, mostly because he had no idea how hard I was working at taking care of the kids and keeping the house together.
She'll lose the weight when she's ready.

Be patient with her and support her no matter what.
Unfortunately woman get older and things tend to get slower and harder to recover from. So just be the loving husband you are. Dont critize and don't push. She in her own time will recover. Love her no matter what.

I had great success with Quick Weight Loss. This system works wonders. For 20 pounds it would be a cinch...

My comment btw is not meant to be "mean" for sure, because I am happy that you are concerned about your wife's happiness with her own body.... but here is my take on this issue. First, you need to face the fact that all women are not made equal when it comes to weight gain and weight retention after pregnancy. Some women go through pregnancy with no weight gain. Some gain weight, and a change is made in their body that makes it very hard to lose weight. It can be lost, I am sure, but just not as easily as in the past. Second, your helpful suggestions may be just what your wife does not need. She does not need to think that you are unhappy with her and that you are looking at her with eyes that are seeing a "fat" wife rather than the trim one you married. This in itself may be causing her defeat.
Third. Your wife knows how she feels about her weight. She is the only one that will be able to lose it. She will do this on her own when it is time. It takes tremendous will power to resist temptations, especially when a mom of small children, and there is love but there is stress. Again, even if she starts trying to lose weight, save your comments. Just bring her a flower that without speaking says "I love you and I am proud of you."
Fourth: Every woman has something they want to do more than anything. I wanted Glamour shots :) I wanted a plane ride where the seat was not too small and the seatbelt would fit. Think about things your wife has said, does she want to go skiing or to the beach? Can you plan such a vacation and both "get back in shape"?
Fifth: Lead by example. Not with words. With some people, including myself..that is the best way. Words merely are stones that block my path. The words are said out of love, out of concern for my health.. but my mind says "they are telling me what to do"...
Sixth. Stop stressing over it. When you do, that will likely be the right time for her. Just give her love.

I too have about 10 pounds to lose to be back to my pre-prego weight. at 111, I know I am still fine, but I feel more like me at the lighter weight. I have 3 little ones... 4, 2 and 10 months. My husband offered to watch the kids so I could go work out a few times a week. This was a huge blessing to me. I won't pay to put them in care at a gym and being that there is 3 I can't do my jogger stroller. Sometimes I just do my pilates on DVD. I am sure she feels a certain amount of pressure to look good; we all feel that pressure. Most important, let her know more often than feels comfortable that she is beautiful at any size. We need lots of praise. One last thing... maybe give her some $ to go shopping and buy an outfit for her (not the kids) that will make her feel pretty/sexy again. Good luck!

Ok King, keep telling her and showing her how beautiful she is with all sincerity and adoration. Your youngest is only a year and if she is nursing or has, those hormones are still working themselves out. Romance the pants off of her, literally.
Romantic walks, family bike rides, etc are great excercise for the body and the soul. Just treat her like the Queen you know she is and love.

You mentioned it might be a hormonal imbalance. Ha she been tested for such? I went through the same experience and found out that my thyroid was out of whack. Maybe she should have a complete physical with blood work.

I suspect that some of your responders might be misunderstanding you. I know how I feel as a woman when I think I'm overweight. I know that my husband loves me no matter what but I still felt depressed and frustrated especially when my clothes didn't fit properly. I think what you are looking for is something to help your wife feel better about herself. Believe me, it will help her more than you know to keep making her feel desirable and loved unconditionally. As for the weight loss, the first thing she needs to realize is that a "perfect body" simply does not exist and that her inner beauty is way more important. I no longer feel like my stomach has to be flat or that my abs & butt have to be small and firm. I am happy when my clothes fit! I have recently lost over 20 lbs. by changing my eating habits using The South Beach Diet guidelines. They have several really good cookbooks out that have simple and delicious recipes. This has helped me (and my family) tremendously without making me feel like I have to work out constantly, maybe it will help your precious wife also. She is very blessed to have a husband that cares for her the way you do. Hope this helps. God bless!

You've stated what you want, but what does your wife want?

K.

Oh KL...
What a wonderful husband you are!!! My husband is the same...he has watched me put on about 70 lbs. since we have been together, but most of that came from a very stressful divorce (His)....and of course the baby weight I gained after my two subsequent pregnancies (my little ones are one year and 18 days apart.)

My hubby has spent thousands of dollars on holistic treatments, weight watchers, nutritionists and personal trainers for me in the hopes that I would feel better about myself...all to no avail until this weekend...I went to a retreat and released a lot of garbage within myself that was weighing me down...

And then I watched my teen-age idol Valerie Bertinelli on OPRAH this week, and she said something that made me have an "AH HAH" moment...she said it wasn't the weight on the outside that was the problem, but the weight on the inside that was the problem...

Continue being loving and supportive, but I suspect that it is much more than pregnancy weight...being a mom to two little ones is so rewarding, but it is so stressful...our needs and desired always seem to get put on the backburner because their is always something to do...it doesn't matter if a mom is a stay-at-home mom or a working mom...there really is no distinction if you really think about it...and then there are our sisters out there that are single moms...it just never ends and never gets easier...

If you really want to help her, encourage her to get the focus off the weight...tell her to really ask herself what is the issue...are there any hobbies or passions she has that she never pursued that she feels she wants to pursue now but can't because of her duties as a mother?

All I can tell you is that after this weekend I feel so much lighter spiritually and I haven't reached for a cookie or chip when I wasn't hungry...the weight inside is starting to melt off, and I know the rest of it will follow!

Good luck to you and your lucky wife!

you are sweet to ask for info for you wife - hopefully she wants to get back to her old self also. i can not speak for her, but i know that after my second child i was soooo exhausted that i couldn't even think of losing weight - even though i knew it would give me more energy. if i were you, i would help out around the house and with the kids as much as to help her get some sleep and regain energy. maybe make some nice healthy meals? also, i have lost 60lbs on Weight Watchers and it helped me get back down to pre-pregnancy weight pretty quickly

First, I want to appauled you for being interested in helping your wife. Personally, the best thing my husband does is take care of our daughter while I go to the gym. I've found that a lot of my time outside of taking care of her is taken up doing chores. So, do more chores around the house and look after the kids so she has the free time to look after herself. You'd be surprised how much it makes a difference.

To me there are several helpful things that you can do.
I'm assuming she is already on a top level exercise program, so I won't prove my blonde heritage by saying get an excercise program...Dah
It's most probably something else that is retaining the weight. Also, assuming that because it's pregnancy weight
it's stomach and thighs that she needs to loose. I will make a few suggestions, only the ones that have worked for me.
Last year I lost my thunder thighs.
I was invited to a FUN party, not usually my style. I bought a couple of the products nothing too kinky just helpful little things: lotions, potions, that kind of thing. My husband was open to it of course: he told me buy whatever you think I trust your judgement. My husband and I are best friends, this gave us a renewed intimacy level. Within 3 months my thighs were gone. I don't know where you live, but where i'm from it's pretty easy to find FUN stuff.
Another list of things are popular 'round here:
Colon Cleanz (Wal Mart)
Amino Acids (steroid free)
the B-12 shot with a hormone, I tried this had a bad reactio to it, but I know women who have lost up to 30 lbs. in a yr.

Good Luck,
They also sell all of the things I bought at Spencers in the mall.

First off...do NOT say anything to her about losing weight. She KNOWS that she needs to lose it and even though you are trying to help her, bringing it up does not help at all, or commenting on anything she eats...let her eat it and don't give her a "look" or comment. When she is ready, she will start the process of losing the weight. Allow her to join a gym and support her in going to the gym. (My DH comes home early two nights a week so I can get to the class I want to take with out having to take the kids with me.) Also, if she is still nursing those last 10 pounds will not come off until she weans. Then they will drop off with out her having to do anything. So, the best support you can be to her is leaving the situation alone...wait for her to bring it up and then ask her how she wants you to help.

Okay, I have a 3 yr old and an 18 month old and the very best thing my husband did to help me on the path to baby weight loss was to keep his opinions to himself and to be consistently willing and able to watch the kids whenever I scheduled a workout. When she exercises consistently, express your amazement at how she manages to take such great care of your family and still take care of her own health.

I applaude you for being so supportive. It is very hard to lose those pregnancy pounds, especially when you are exhausted from caring for those kids. I am the owner / instructor for Strollerfit San Antonio and its a fun way to lose weight with your kids. I teach an hour long class that includes cardio, strength training, and core stabilization to get those mommy muscles back into place. It's really helped me get back into my "skinny" jeans after two kids and its a great way to meet other moms going through the same things. If you want more info, you can check out my website at www.strollerfit.com or call me at ###-###-####. Hope that helps!
-A.

Well, I know for me when my hubby has tried to help me with weight loss I have not been very open to it either. I don't know why we women are so stubborn sometimes! He now takes the approach of just encouraging me but staying out of what I eat. I started weight watchers and am having success and he does that with me which is very helpful. I say whatever your wife does to get her weight back on track, just encourage her and if it is possible for you and she to eat the same food, I find that really helpful.

Have either of you considered hormone levels? Especially after pregnancy, A women's hormone levels change drastically. A great place to go for help - hotze.com. Best wishes.

Please take it easy on her, as someone who lifts weights and does intense cardio (spinning, jogging...) 6 times per week I am proof that it is difficult to get back in shape. I had great success loosing weight and feeling hot again with a Bootcamp (look on line, they are about $300 per month but worth every penny!). I would also suggest that you begin by buying her something pretty to make her feel good about herself; go to the Nordstroms lingere deparment and ask the ladies for help (just PLEASE get the size she currently is... look in her closet at the clothes she currently wears). I loved receiving Hanky Panky underwear and a sexy everyday bra. DO NOT MAKE ANY COMMENTS ABOUT HER WEIGHT! Make her feel beautiful, the rest will come.

I think you should be persistant now with her in whatever way works best.
My Dad has taught Karate my whole life and my mom started having trouble with her weight after my brother(her second Child).
It is over twenty years later now and she is still struggling with it and I think the longer it has gone on, the more she has given up on the idea of ever being fit again!
I would stay positive , make time for y'all to work out together , if that works and just don't give up now.
Remember, she's probably not feeling confident right now , so you're going to have to be extra supportive of her until she can start to see it in herself again! Good luck!
-A.

Kudos for being a great supportive husband. I know that when I had 20lbs to lose after my baby was born it took a hit to my self-esteem. What she wants from you like I did is her husband to tell her that she's beautiful. Tell her you love her no matter what her size is and then back off from the suggestions. Men tend to go into fix it mode and it feels like she's intimidated by your success. (we tend to get that way when we feel insecure) After supper go for a walk with the family ask her what she needs from you and don't give her advice unless she asks. She needs to feel empowerment. Just letting her know your there will be all she needs. She'll let you know Just ask her , but remember support her and give her advice only if she asks for it. Sometimes to watching the kids while she goes to exercise is also a great help.

KL
I haven't had kids yet, so I don't know first hand the struggles of lossing weight after having a baby. But my husband and I are pregnant now, so I hope to continue what he and I started about 2 years ago. We started a workout program that both of us do together and motivate each other. I know you are achieving national level bodybuilding, so you would be the perfect person to help her out in the gym. Maybe take a couple of days a week and get in the gym with her, help her through the exerises, until she comfortable. Another thing is being a body builder I am sure you have heard of Labrada. So check there website out and they have a challenge every year that might also be motivating to her. They also have a diet plan and steps to start a workout plan. Good luck to you and your wife.

Hi KL,

You sound SO much like my own husband that you made me smile. Do you by any chance ever visit the "over 40" group on BodyBuilders.com? That's my husband's clan. Anyway, there are a few issues that your email raises, and i promise you I have been there with just about all of them (except being a 12 on an 8 scale to my husband -- if I am, he keeps it a secret -- you do TELL your wife she's a 12, right?)

Weight loss after pregnancy is SOOOO flukey. Sometimes the weight falls right off, other times the pregnancy seems to change one's metabolism so that even things that worked before pregnancy don't work anymore. That happened for me, and MAN was it confusing and upsetting!!

In my (humble) opinion, there are three factors that we can make choices about to facilitate weight loss:

a. food
b. exercise
c. compulsive eating for comfort or to control emotions

I think that when focusing on a and/or b doesn't work, it may be because c is getting in the way. A new baby is SUCH a huge shock to a woman's system in every way -- physically, mentally, emotionally and socially -- it's almost like coming to after an explosion, although in this case it's an explosion one hopefully chose. But everything is different -- your body is different, your environment is different, your feelings are different, and your life is different. It does take some time to just get one's bearings!

Here's a key question -- are you making helpful suggestions because she is asking you for them? If she isn't, my advice to you is very simple -- wait until she asks, then your advice will be more helpful to her. My husband gave me loads of information (and, to be fair, would give anyone who would listen information) on the correct way to do squats, how much fat and/or sugar was in the salad dressing I was putting on my salad, and (especially) the evils of a work-out consisting only on cardio, and all I heard was "I hate your body, I hate your body, I hate your body" That is NOT what he was saying. But it is what I was hearing. In my case, if he was worried about my self esteem, letting me keep me extra 10-18 pounds and get my work, childcare, friendships and marriage rebalanced without bringing up exercise and nutrition in every conversation would have done MUCH more -- and in fact noticing what I was doing right in these other more fundamental areas would have really made such a difference. In fact, he did once tell me that I was a great mother, and I dissolved in tears. And I'm not that much of a crier!

One thing you might try is to just give her time and make very clear to her that you adore her the way she is. To me it seems really important that a person find their own way with these issues. if she asks for your help, that's great. If she wants to work out with you, cool! Heck, as a bodybuilder, you are eating clean, clean, clean, so one thing you could offer to do IF she asks for help is to take over meal prep for the family -- that would be incredibly helpful for her and would also mean the kids eat healthier. But it is possible that for the moment exercising and measuring her food just aren't priorities for her -- and that may be true even if she is asking you for help and acting gung ho about weight loss. She may be doing those things to show YOU that she isn't going to just let herself go -- she may think that's what you need to see to know that you and your marriage are still important to her. But right now, with a 1 and a 4 year old, I'd be surprised if those things were high priorities, because she has so much else to be thinking and feeling about. My guess is that what IS a priority to her is letting you know that she loves and cares about you and values your marriage, even though she is exhausted all the time and may have a hard time getting it together to be sexual as much as she thinks she should.

Does that make sense? I'm trying to say that as a body builder's woman, I have felt like I sort of HAD to speak in terms of working out and eating clean and counting calories to let him know I value what HE's doing and that I want to be attractive to him. But actually, I finally got out of a cycle of weight GAIN when he read a letter he was writing to a fellow bodybuilder where they were both complaining about people coming up to them and saying "WOW -- how did you get like that?!" when in fact it isn't rocket science -- it's something that anyone can do if they are willing to pay the price. My husband said to the other bodybuilder, "why can't people just admit that this isn't a priority for them at this time," and a lightbulb went on in my head. Those were the words!! After 2-3 years of going to the gym with my husband, having him come to the gym with me to see how I was working out, having him make up work out schedules for me, buy me equipment, look over eating plans, the light dawned -- these things are not priorities to me right now!! As a result of saying that to him, 2-3 times, I was able to get my schedule under better control, was less stressed, and thus was able to stop stress eating and probably on some level let go of feeling angry at him for all the hassles I was going through to live up to what I thought he wanted from me. On Valentines Day this year, I was at my highest weight ever (157), and we had the most beautiful, romantic evening since our honeymoon. AND I am now making decisions about my weight through Weight Watchers online, which is relatively easy and doesn't take too much time, and losing weight at a safe rate.

I hope this is helpful -- you sound like a terrific guy, and your wife is a lucky woman. AND, the luckiest body builders are the ones who have a partner who loves the soul INSIDE the beautiful body -- in my case (my husband hates this, but it's true) I don't LIKE big muscles! But who cares -- I fell in love with the light in those brown eyes, and anything that keeps them sparkling is okay by me. The luckiest partners of body builders have the same thing -- they are loved for who they are inside, supported for what makes them feel shiny, and honored and supported in the ways they are growing and evolving.

blessings,
M.

I had the same problem after having my 3 children. I am also an athlete and have always been able to snap back into great shape. I was so frustrated when I was still holding on to that last 20 lbs after kid #3. I finally asked my dr. and it ended up being my hormone levels that wouldn't get back to normal after the 3rd. After only 3 wks of a new diet by my dr. I lost 25lbs. Have her get her levels cked, it could simply be a matter of balancing her hormones back out.

Nice of you to ask a few ladies for their point of view. ;-) Extra brownie points to you.

1. women lose weight very differently than men
2. women can take up 1-2 years to get back to pre-pg weight
3. many women never do because it is one of the hardest things in the world to do for some people--metabolism, genetices, etc.
4. you saying anything or doing anything will only make her that more frustrated--I know as my dh regulary reminds me I would look wonderful with 30 less pounds.

So I suggest you start by asking her if she wants to join a spa or go walk in the neighborhood or what she thinks she wants to do to lose the weight. Then I suggest you start hiring a good sitter or keeping the kids for her. Ask her what she really wants. Don't be offended if she does not want to excerise with you--some women want the time alone. It is hard to find time for yourself with small children in the house.

Also recognize that she is exhausted mentally, emotionally, as well as physically after caring for 2 littles one all day, all night, all the time. She is on call 24/7!

I had a 1 yr old, a 4 yr old, and a 5 yr old and wanted to lose weight. My dh bought me a treadmill and I did that every morning. But it took awhile to lose the weight. I had to wait till I was through nursing the baby, had the time and energy enough to be motivated to stick to it, and had a playpen to put the baby in.

In the meantime you can just, not make any comments and love her the way she is. She has to want to lose weight for herself to make it work. ;-)

Good luck

Just continue to encourage your wife and let her know that at what ever size she is you will be there for her. Most of all if she is not comfortable with her weight she will do something about it in due time. I think you are on the right track it will take time.

It is very important to give your wife the encouragement she may need to "get back to the gym". It just takes one hour a day, a few days a week. She may feel she doesn't have one hour to give up, but the laundry, and all the other duties at the house can wait that one hour. One hour- Encourage her- one hour-- I can't say that enough. I am sure she gives of herself all day to you and your 2 children, selflessly. Remind her its ok for her to take that ONE HOUR. It will make a huge difference in her self-confidence.

Hello,

After years of struggling with a body I didn't want due to a pregnancy; I like many heave tried different products on the shelves at nutrition store and didn't have success at weight loss centers either. There is only one product line I found to help me. The main product is the "Fat Loss Patch". I went from a size 18 to a 14, and I am still working towards my goal. My daughter is less that 100 lbs and has fibromyalgia and uses the patch for its high anti-flammatory properties. The ingredient ForsLean® promotes building of lean muscle(which burns fat).

Not only your wife, but you as a bodybuilder would benefit from this product.

Here is a link for more information www.stickittoloseinches.com

If you have any questions or would like more information, please let me know.

A.

I think its great that you are wanting to support your wife in losing the post baby weight. However, I think that being her husband all you need to do right now is love her and support her, and by support I don't mean give her weight loss tips and ideas. Its been my experience that no matter how good your intentions are with giving her tips and advice she will just take it as you not finding her attractive the way she it right now. That could be part of her low self esteem about her body image.

Wow! I must say how I can relate! I am a 38yr old wife/mom with 4 kids (9,8,5,&3)! Trust me when I say that after the 2nd child it takes work and patience! We as women do not gain that weight overnite, so therefore it won't shed overnite either. It is really hard (child birth)on a womans body. We are somewhat like a balloon that you blow up repeatedly---expand/shrink, etc. It is hard to work that muscle back up where it once was originally. Be patient with her & encourage her to be patient as well. Her body will come back gradually! Just remind her that she has experienced more than any compliment can give her--beautiful children! To me that is accomplishment enough--getting her body back is a bonus! Tell her from one mom to another---way to go!!! RC

Hi K L,

Congrats on your success. I may be way off base, but it seems this is more your issue than hers. You speak of "her self-esteem may suffer" , "it is your estimation that 10-18 lbs is all she needs to lose".(what does she really feel?) Is her self-confidence on the line because you are making this an issue "my wife is a 12 on a 8 scale, at least to me" - is that not telling her that you love her and thinks she's a queen but no one else would??? Again, how does this make her
feel? Demeaning a person's appearance is one of the best ways of lowering her self esteem.

No offense intended - please look at your motives. If she wants this - there are a lot of gyms and trainers out there.

Good luck to you both,
K.

First you are awsome. I have put on alot of weight with having my two kiddos compared to how much i weighed when we first got together 6 years ago, although he is like you and tells me he likes me for who i am not what i look like and it doesnt matter to him if i weighed 500 pounds he would still love me, i still dont believe him in the back of my mind, i mean i know he will always love me no matter what, but you always have that thinking. I diet and try to exercise as much as i possibly can (i started in Jan. and i have lost almost 40 pounds and like her i have two kids 3 1/2 and 18 months), it is very hard to find time even just 15 mins to your self to exercise, so i try to get the kids to do it with me, we go for walks during the day (if we can find time) i take them outside and swing them on the swing set (you can work some muscles this way), anything. I also found this website that can tell you how many calories you burn doing certain things, also gives other advice related to dieting. www.nutristrategy.com I hope this helps her, give her support that is sooo important, not just at the beginning but all the way through till she feels she is right again, it is hard and trying all the time, just let her know you are there for her. Good Luck to your Queen, its hard just tell her to stick with it, if she needs anyone to talk to im here.

As a former collegiate powerlifter and now a mom of 3, I know how hard it can be to get your body back. But your wife has to decide is important to her and then find a way to get it done whether that be at the gym where a sitter is or when the kids are asleep or whatever. Just be her cheerleader when its working. After preterm labor, bed rest, birth, baby health issues and nursing, I didn't even start back to exercising regularly until my last one was 17 months old. I was just too overwhelmed with all of the demands of being a wife and mom. It is so hard to carve out an extra hour or so a day just for yourself which is what exercise is. And if she hasn't had a physical lately, she might need to be checked for thyroid or other issues that can cause weight gain after all the changes that come with pregnancies. But frankly, if she wants it bad enough for herself, she'll find a way. I don't know what her previous exercise experience has been, but I love Tony Horton's Power90 series which while I didn't lose as much weight as I would have liked...I did drop 2-3 dress sizes with that 7 lbs which makes me happy with the way I look even if the scale says I am not back yet. I have never experienced that drastic of a look change so quickly with everything else I've done. My husband was so impressed that he started joining me and he has always been incredibly fit and never out of shape. Good luck to her and give it time..She didn't get the extra weight overnight and it won't come off overnight either. Baby steps...

R.

Hi K L,

Perhaps your wife could still be suffering from post-
partum depression or exhaustion from taking care of two
VERY young children!! Things are quite different when
the second child comes along. Perhaps she is afraid of
disappointing you because your level of skill is so high
and takes a LOT of commitment. She may not have that in her
right now. Caring for two young children is a huge
commitment and extremly draining. Try letting her off
the hook for a while (maybe quite a while). Encourage her
inner sense of beauty. Help her to understand that everything
happens in due time and to be patient with herself. BE there
for her 18lbs heavy or 18lbs light with no judgement.

Take care,
Liz

P.S. I am a 53 yr. old mom with 3 grown children and a 12 yr. old. It took quite some time to have the energy to get back
to pre-baby weight(which, by-the-way, has not quite happened with my last child!). Now!? Well, life continues and I truly
enjoy all my children without the obsession of having to be
skinny!
Best of Luck to both of you.

She needs to add suppliments..like L-Cartnine (sp), E, CoQ10, BComplex...eat small meals throughout the day...make dinner her smallest meal...be able to workout at home doing something she likes and be given the time to do so. It also has to be something she wants to do for her.

Dear KL,

Your wife is truly blessed to have a husband like you!! Whatever you do.....don't call her FAT!!! Here's my suggestion:

Take her and the kids out for a stroll. Walk to the park and play w/the kids. Or walk w/her after dinner. Does she love to dance? Then take her dancing!!! Do you have bikes w/baby seats? Ride your bikes as a family. Do you belong to a church that has a women's exercise program? Then watch the kids and let her go. Or have her join a mom n babies exercise class.

Most of all....if all else fails....love her the way that she is!!

P.

Families that exercise regularly together stay healthy.

Make her feel like the Queen she is, the sexiest woman on this earth. Be very romantic (buy her flowers, take her out on a date, etc.) See if she wants to come and watch or join you as you work out? A woman's body is never the same after child birth and it may never want to go back to what it was but if she is happy with who she is, it won't matter. Its a tough situation. As long as you let her know how you feel on a pretty regular basis, especially right now, she may end up losing it all in no time but be prepared and help her to be prepared if the weight loss isn't going to happen. I hope this helps. If she could join friends to go walking, they may help too. Its nice to hear a man so concerned for his wife. Thanks KL and good luck.
L.

Maybe you can start eating/drinking protein/fiber shakes and see if she wants to taste them with you. They help curb the appetite, give you lots of vitamins, and fulfill your desire to eat eat eat.

Arbonne has some wonderful tasting shakes in powder form that you can throw in a blender with some ice, yogurt, bananas, etc.

Check it out! amychichester.myarbonne.com

A.

Sounds like you are a great guy, very supportive. I like the Men are from Mars approach, which would indicate you should not give solutions to your wife, just encouragement and listening. A compliment a day ...
good luck!

The first thing to remember is that it takes a woman's body about 2 years to completely recover from a pregnancy. Even though there are people who will lose all the weight right away, their bodies have not completely recovered.

The best advice I can give you is to just be supportive and understanding. Don't push, but when she asks for your help, quickly comply. I have had this same struggle for awhile and finally decided that I am going to try the Adventure Boot Camp for women. I'm not sure where all you can do it at, but I am signed up through Beyond Beaute in Deer Park.

It is a program that she may want to look into. It's $200 for 4 weeks, Mon, Wed, Fri at 5:30am. They also have co-ed bootcamps and some other options as far as days of the week, time of day and prices.
My husband was very supportive when I told him this is something I wanted to do. $200 is not something we just have lying around marked "extra", but I feel like it is a good investment.

Most of all, help her by doing the things she does. If she is tring to watch what she eats, eat healthy with her. Don't bring home fast food or groceries that she is trying to stay away from. When she gets motivated to workout, go with her. But, since your a body builder it may be good for you to just take it easy and not workout full force. You never know, that may be intimidating. Women don't want to be pushed by their husbands. They just want a friend. So get on the elliptical beside her and talk about your day, your dreams, your children.

I don't know if this will help you, but these are the ways that my husband has helped me the most. So I thought I would pass it along.

By the way, kudos for lifting her up and speaking so highly of her. You are on the right track. Keep it up!

I am in the same situation, although it is not due to baby fat. My husband and I gained weight together, now he has taken his weight off and my weight is still lingering. Maybe your wife and I could get a work out regime going and help motivate each other to take the pounds off. Let me know.

Maybe she would like to go with you? (On your light days?) It will allow her to concentrate on just herself, no kids, and that's important.

Best wishes!

If you live in South Austin maybe she and I can start a work out routine together. I too would like to get back into shape after my two children!

Hi, My name is Angela M., I hear what your saying my husband is the same when it comes to me and my weight. He says I look great but to me I see a chunky person(this was before I got pregnant. I have a thyroid disease and it is really hard to lose weight I had been a size 12 to 10 since my last pregnancy and just for the life of me couldn't lose weight. I have since joined a company called USANA. Just being on their nutritional supplements and their shakes/bars I had lost 10lbs(that was wow for me)I had gone down to a size 8 because their drinks/bars are low glycemic. It doesn't spike your sugar levels and it kills the craving for carbs and sweets. If you are interested in checking this out please visit my website: www.angiestruehealth.usana.com
Then if you are interested in the products please email me at ____@____.com I would be happy to answer any questions you might have.

A little about me: I am 33yrs. old. I am a stay at home mom, raising a 8yr.old daughter and a 2yr. old daughter. Plus I am due with my third daughter any day now.

if your wife is not happy with her appearance, then maybe she would be receptive to getting a personal trainer. that way someone else is telling her what she needs to do, and she hopefully they will motivate her...and you won't have to do the dirty work. if my husband got me one-i would be soooo excited to watch my body transform into what i desired it to be. good luck!

Just remember her hormones could still be out of whack. She probably does not have confidence to try anything. I have been like that since my 2 yr old was born. Then my husband bought me personal training sessions at our gym (at my request) and I started seeing the nutrition coach. It has really helped me get my energy back and confidince to keep going to loose the 30 lbs. I hope you and your wife find what works for you.

If she's eating beyond what is required nutritionally, find out why. Is she bored, is she overwhelmed, is she depressed, does she feel like her whole life is about her husband and the kids?

Perhaps there's no reason to be fit because it's all about you three? Is she feeling resentment because you are more absorbed in your and her physical appearance and not interested in her what's happening in her head with her disappointments, dreams,...

I recommend focusing on what's happening in her mind, and once you demonstrate that that is more important to you than her weight, she might be inspired to live a life that leads to physical health.

I am speaking from experience. After marriage, my husband gained about 20 pounds, and it wasn't until after we considered what it would take for him to feel alive and that life was worth waking up for that he began to get fit. He really wanted to get a motorcycle again, and take it to track days...which, in turn, requires physical fitness. Get it? The weight loss ended up being a means to an end and not the end itself. Hope this helps.

www.t-tapp.com

Great exercise program for real people! :-) I have done it for 1 1/2 yrs and have had a lot of success and health benefits from it.

And remember, it took her 9 mos, x2 to have a post pregnancy body, it may take that long to get back to pre pregnancy size, body is never the "same" again. Just keep telling her she is beautiful to you!

Hi, First of all- you are the man!!! Loving your wife no matter what is what a husband should do. Your concern for her is touching and heartfelt. I am a mother of four who still can't get those last 10-15 pounds off from my last pregnancy, and he is 3 1/2. I have struggled myself and come to the conclusion that the children have simply CHANGED my body. Not that it is any worse, but just different now. I see it as, God put me here to bear children, not to stay a size 2 ( lol ) for ever. I have used my body for the purpose that is was meant and that should make me happy. I have come to realize that I had to give up just a little of me, 9Being what I felt was the perfect size) in exchange for my precious family. They love me for me, as you love your wife and she should see her body as an amazing machine that does amazing things. It of course like any machine will change over the years, and never will be like new again, but that it in its own way is better. My husband says he loves the fact that I have stretch marks and a few extra ppounds because it shows how unselfish I was to give it up for our family. What greater gift could she have given then to give of herself for her sweet kids. Don't let her feel that she has to be that teenager again to be beautiful, being a mother is worth more than the cute tight jeans we may have worn before. Keep on loving her and let her know how you appreciate her sacrifice, and remind her that one day your great body will be gone, and her MOTHER body will look better than your saggy skin where muscles use to be :)

I am in the same boat. Unfortunatly I have no advice other then to stick with it. She is very lucky to have a loving husband to support her!

I don't know what area you live in but have you considered a personal trainer for her? Last year for mothers day my husband gave me 10 sessions and I have since lost 35 pounds! Good luck!

KL,
My suggestion is to not push her and ask her what you can to to support her. Does she need you to watch the children while she goes to the gym? Do you cook healthy meals together, as a couple?
What helps me stay in shape is to actually put it on my calendar like an appointment. Then I actually give myself a star for each day I go. It is rewarding to see 4 or 5 stars at the end of the week and know I will soon start to see progress in other areas.
Again, do not push her or use negative comments to motivate her. Being supportive and working together as a team for a common goal is my suggestion.