R.B.
Hi,
I have a 2 year old and we faced a similar issue - she slept through the night when she was 3 months old but then around a year she started waking up, crying, standing up, etc. The first thing I'd like to say is that ignoring is probably a bad idea, and I don't know that thinking about soothing as "rewarding him for this bad behavior" is a productive way to look at the situation. He is not misbehaving, he is waking up upset. So I don't know that reward is the appropriate language. I would acknowledge that he is not playing games but is genuinely upset and go from there. That said, here's what my experience taught me. First, we also started having this problem after a trip away from home. In fact, till now, whenever we go on a trip, when we get back we face a few nights of my daughter waking up. I think that kids naturally wake up a few times a night (we do too, it's the way sleep cycles work) and if they find themselves in a new and strange setting, this actually causes them to get up. Then when they come back they are still uncertain and get up to make sure they are safe etc. With us, the problem was that when she would wake up, she would sign for a bottle and we would give it to her and rock her to sleep. And then it became a pattern. Another trigger I noticed for her waking up has to do with the conditions in her room - too dry, too hot, or too cold usually means she'll get up and want us. We recently got a humidifier, for example, and thus ended a pretty long streak of nightly wakings that started when it got cold out. I recommend getting a thermometer with a humidity gage. It's amazing how you can get them to sleep all night just by getting their rooms to the right temporature and humidity. The other advice I would give is not to give milk. What we did was to water down the milk, which she didn't like, so she'd feel like she got what she wanted (which calmed her) but then she'd have one sip and not want anymore. Eventually she stopped asking for it. The other thing is to try to avoid picking him up. If he's totally upset and worked up, there's no choice... But if you go just when he starts crying, it may be enough to pat his back, say "shush", maybe give him his passifier, teddy, blanket or whatever if it fell out of the crib, and thus get him back to sleep. Eventually you'll be able to leave the room when he's still awake and eventually he'll be able to sooth himself.
Good luck - I work too and its very challenging. Just try to be sympathetic to his needs and anxieties. I have a hard time falling asleep by myself too, so I do think it's a lot to ask of a vulnerable small child to be able to do it easily...
R.
