HELP! 8 Month Not Sleeping Thru Night

Bring her back to bed with you. 8 months is too early to let her 'cry it out'.
Here's a great article about the family bed.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/family_bed.html
and here is an article about weaning from the family bed after 1 year old.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I had great luck with the music boxes that connect to the crib.For exampl: (Slumber time soother)
My sons would wake up crying, I would go in their room and push the music box on, pat them on the back a bit and leave the room.
Most of the time, unless they were teething that would work great. The music lulls them back to sleeep and everyone is happy.

Best of luck.
C.

Hello J.,

It sounds like she just misses you. She might be too young to learn to be in a room all by herself. Or maybe she's just cold, my daughter is 11 months and ever since the cold season started she's been waking up more often, no matter how warm of a blanket or pj's I put her. So I let her sleep with us for most of the night then I place her in her crib. Good Luck.

J.,

Great name(happens to be my middle name). I am the mom of a 18yr. daughter, 2 16yr twin boys and a 5 yr boy) I did almost everything different with all of them. With my older children I had a lot of advice from grandparents and older family friends. Crying it out almost drove me crazy and I remember driving around trying to get one of the twins to fall asleep. In retrospect I would have just rocked him back to sleep but my husband didn't want him to become spoiled by being picked up at night. With my now 5 yr. old (new husband) I listened to my instincts and picked him up or snuggled with him as I felt was needed and it made a world of difference in how our household was relaxed and calm. They grow up SO fast and this is your time to continue to bond and love them. They are growing so fast and they might be having pain from teeth coming down or even growing pains in their legs and they can't tell you about it.

Any way the best advice that I can give you is when your baby cries go love her. I don't mean pick her up necessarily but coo to her and gently rub her back. I would quietly sing songs and slowly rub her back. Tell her how everything is just fine, actually you could read her your grocery list in a calm, quiet voice. What matters to her is to hear your voice. If it is obvious that she wants to be picked up, slowly and calmly pick her up. Hum or sing quietly as you sway or slowly dance around the room. Do not turn on any lights, speak to loud or sit down unless it is in a rocking chair. She will learn that is she has a problem and she cries out, you will be there to help her take care of it. I have found that if you quietly come to her aid in falling asleep she will learn that she can wake up and knowing that you are nearby she will fall back to sleep without needing any sleep. If you let her continue to cry all alone, she doesn't know that you hear her. In her mind, "out of sight, mom's gone, I need to let her know that I am scared, hurting, lonely,..." At that age if she can't see you, you are gone. I have found that taking the time to quietly go in and calm them down takes less time than letting them "cry it out" and is a whole lot better for your psyche.

Shoot, I was only going to give you my two cents worth and once again it is a novel.

Enjoy your daughter, it just keeps on getting better.

Evelyn

OK! So I have a 7 month old little boy who slept in our room until he was 5 months old. He was doing fine in his crib and sleeping at least 6 hours without waking up. He eats to solid feed meals a day and nurses 4 additional times. Then he hit about 6 1/2 months and he started waking up. Not only that but he would only sleep if one of us was holding him or he slept in our room. And I could not let him just cry it out. (and I majored in Behavioral psychology) I was speaking to a co-worker who works with infants and she mentioned a method. You put the baby down in his/her crib (crying or not), if the baby is crying in 5 minutes then walk into the room and soothe them for 30 seconds (no longer but no less) even if the baby is crying walk out. Watch the clock and walk back in after 5 minutes. Again soothe for 30 seconds and follow the pattern until he/she falls asleep. If they walk up during the middle of the night restart the cycle 5 minutes to every 30 seconds. It takes a lot of work and dedication but after 3 nights we saw a marked difference. I was sleeping for longer periods of time, it took less time to put him down, and he even soothed himself back to sleep a couple of times. My husband and I both worked on it over a holiday weekend. I really feel that it worked (so far) because there were two of us. AS a matter of fact, by the second night my husband took over ( I was still awake to keep him company) but we noticed he cried longer and louder when I was in the room to soothe him (probably because I nurse him). I hope that this works. I will be honest we are on day 5 and he does still wake up once through the night but it is sooooo much better than the alternatives. GOOD LUCK!

i don't agree with the let her cry method. especially if it is hours. she is not manipulating you - that is just ridiculous. why would you want her to know you will not come if she she needs you. read dr sears books. my 9 month did not sleep through the night after a periods in which he did and sometimes would wake every hour. he was hungry and growing and i am always a little low on breastmilk. i started sleeping with him to make the feedings easier and we both got a lot more sleep. now at ten months he only wakes once. if you want to do the cry it out method it takes a lot of work - read happiest baby on the block. personally i am happy to be able to comfort my child in the most natural way during this short time we have with them as babies.

I had a daughter that did that also. I didnt't let her cry it out. It seemed like she was just waking up and crying because she needed comfort. sometimes all she needed was a pat on the back while saying--you are okay honey. sometimes I rocked her for a while. I slept much better getting up for a few minutes even repeately, than I would have if I laid there and let her cry. She also grew up with a very good self esteem and I think it was becasue she knew she was important enough for someone to comfort her when she needed it. I have seen friends who let their kids cry and they don't comfort them and they grow up without any self esteem--come on now--they aren't even important enough for their parents to care that they are upset--how much are they worth?

I think your doctor is wrong. But he may be right---so all in all I don't think you should listen to your doctor on this or me or anyone else--do what you think is right with your daughter--I bet you will figure it out and feel good about it.

good luck--I also worked full time and I was tired a lot.

I know what you are going through. My grandson also was one that the doctor said to let them cry it out. It didn't work. WE have put a night light in his room and we even play soothing wave music for him while he sleeps but he would wake. There were still times when my son would take him into bed with him (and Mom, too)so that he could get a good nights sleep. He finally started to completely sleep through the night on a regular basis when he was 18 - 19 months. My grandson is about to turn 3 now and he still will wake sometimes in the middle of the night but he will go back to sleep on his own, most of the time.

Sorry I can't tell you the magic words to make her sleep through the night but it will happen. Some other suggestions; a bath before bed could help, rubbing lotion on her skin if it is a little dry or even cutting back on the fabric softener if you notice her squirming around alot (my son was sensitive to fabric softener). Routine are probably the best way to get her to relax and sleep. It will give her a better sense of security. My grandson is definitely one for routines, it makes the difference between a smooth transition into sleep of a rough, noisy one! LOL

The best thing you can give your child is patience, security, and yourself. Enjoy every memory and second, they are treasures!
SAH Grandma, San Diego

Hi J.,
I'm a 1st time mom of 7 month old girl born in Jul.
What time does she go to bed? Try to keep her up till 7:30/8:00.
Another thing I learned is try and feed her at least 1/2hr before she goes to bed because then they have a full tummy, maybe even try baby food or ceral, she maybe walking up because she's hungry. Another thing my doctor said is jsut pick her up and rock her she may have had a bad dream or just feeling alone, its amazing because she goes right back to sleep. Also, she may be to hot or to cold, that to makes a big differnce if they sleep through the night.
Hope one of these work for you because they really helped me.

Sorry hun... I know the sleep deprivation gets really hard really fast. Things will get better. You could try letting her cry it out for a few minutes, then go in lay her down, but don't pick her up or look into her eyes to stimulate her. It might be enough just to know you can be there. I used to pat my sons chest a couple times and he would start to relax. Another thing I heard you should try is YOU sleeping with something she sleeps with (blanket, her jammies, etc.) so it gets your scent on it and if she simply smells you in her bed it might be enough to calm her nerves

When I let my daughter cry it out, there were periods of contact, but no reward. I wouldn't let her cry alone for 2.5 hours because she may feel like you are not there for her but when my daughter would be crying I would go in every 15-20 minutes and lay her back down rub her back and say, "go to sleep" then leave her. She of course would not go to sleep so I would wait and go see her again if she was still crying in 15-20 minutes. She didn't get a bottle or a cuddle or anything, just me saying, "go to sleep". She eventually grew out of it and started sleeping through the night at 16 months! My older daughter started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks! Some babies are better at putting themselves back to sleep throughout the night than others. My non-sleeper still resists bedtime at 6 years old. Her sister puts herself to bed so I think part of it is how she is wired. Be patient and know that this too shall pass. Good luck.

Try the SLEEP LADY BOOK--worked great for my little ones.

Hi J.,

We have had the same problem with our 11 month old since he was 4 months old. Our ped did say to let him cry it out because he does need to soothe himself, and I have to say, that after going in and comforting him hour after hour or allowing him to cry it out, I will take the crying it out method. He has improved and now I know that when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night there is most likely something wrong. Lately, he has started teething again and the crying has returned. I know that it must be because he hurts. So, if he goes for more than 20 minutes, I go and comfort him. It helps to an extent but it does take a while and I lose lots of sleep too. It reminds me of the old days when he was a newborn. :-) Do you think that your child might be teething? If so, you could try a little children's tylenol, it could help with the pain if that is the case.

Good luck and just know that there are many others out here that have the same problems with non-sleeping children.

L. H.

This site is GREAT, talks all about babies development and why they seem to go through sleep regressions at different times of their babyhood...

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

I feel your pain. You have to remember that it might seem like forever, but this too shall pass. My now 2 1/2 year old has never been a good sleeper. (Just like her Daddy). I could walk into her room without making a sound and she would pop up from a dead sleep. We also tried everything. The crying it out went 2.5 hours and it killed me every minute. I felt like it was going against every mothering instinct I had. The more we tried to fight her the worse she got. The best advice I can give you is listen to your instincts. We found a white noise machine or a fan was helpful. She was in the bed with me until 6 mths. Then we moved her to a crib in our room. That is when all the trouble started. Kids need security and mom is nice and warm. At a year she started to sleep longer at night and also weaned herself from night nursing which was really nice. We got her into a routine of bath...book...boob...and bed. Then we would sing a couple songs and sit with her till she fell asleep. Her sleep habits go up and down. She is now 2 1/2 and sleeping great. All she needs now is a little rocking, singing and she puts herself down. So, hang in there it will get better. My son is only5 1/2 mths and already sleeping almost through the night. It just depends on the kid. Good luck.

Is your baby about to crawl, walk, or pulling themselves up on things? there is a phase where they pull themselves up and can't get back down...or they are about to embark on a major motor milestone and their body can't calm down. If this sounds right...it might be a phase that will end when they start walking/crawling.

Also, there is a good book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child...I wouldn't say it is a cry it out book...it just helps you read sleep cues and has helped so many of my friends figure out tricky situations with sleep issues. It is different because it is about the science of sleep and helps you understand what is going on in a different way than most books. Hope this helps in some way.

Wish you well!

i'm having the same problem with my seven month old.....

Hi J.! I'm sure you've gotten lots of advice, but having been in your place, I had to put my two cents in. I totally disagree with your doctor. She is too young to be 'testing' - she is crying because she needs something, and it sounds like she might be needing reassurance and security, which is totally normal at her age. She is learning and taking in an astronomical amount of new information every day and that can be overwhelming and scary for a baby, and make their sleep unsettled. Rereading your message, it sounds like you disagree with your doctor, and believe she should be back in your room. I think you should stick with your gut. Maybe a quick pat or quiet 'sh-sh' would put her back to sleep quickly (could take a few days/weeks to make up for the insecurity she might be currently feeling). Sleep is such a difficult issue. We really liked "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". Anyway, best of luck and hope you get sleep soon! With our own sleep issues and lack of sleep, I finally learned that 'this too shall pass and one day I'll sleep again' :-)

My son is 8 months old as well, and we have been struggling with getting him to sleep through the night for a while as well. My husband & I travel a lot for work, and bring our son along, so setting up a consistent bedtime routine has been the biggest challenge for us.
OUr son was also waking up thoughout the night, and would cry for 1 to 1 1/2 hours sometimes before we could get him back to sleep.
After 1 week of sleeping through the night, I feel that we've had some success. We bought Richard Ferber, MD's book called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Some of the methods he describes are somewhat harsh, but the biggest help is his analysis of children's sleeping rhythms, and the establishment of a consistent bedtime routine. Example: babies sleep very deeply in the first 4 hours of the night (ca. 8 pm to 12 am), but then go through ca. 3 hour cycles of partial wakenings and REM sleep. This means that your baby needs to be able to put herself back to sleep during each one of these 3 hour cycles. He talks about making sure that the environment of falling asleep is the same as when she wakes up at 3 am... is it too dark? does she expect you to be in the room? does she need to be rocked, etc.
Anyway, I hope this helps! This week, I'm feeling well rested for the first time in 8 months...
Good luck - and if it continues, make sure you get help - either have your husband take a few nights, so you can get some sleep, and get a babysitter for 1 day per week, so you can get some sleep, a massage, or something to maintain your own sanity. This is challenging - but hang in there! :-)

Hello!
Well I definitly feel for you! I have twin girls (2 1/2) and a 7 month old baby boy. So I've been there with the sleepless nights! I recommened you read Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam. This book saved my life! Now it does going along the lines of "crying it out" but maybe reading the entire book and setting up a consistant routine in the day (which this book encourages that and helps you set up a schedule appropriate for your babies age and needs)it *should* help your baby sleep through the night. It worked with all three of mine. I even have all three in the same room and they sleep sound! Good luck! Remember this time will pass before you know it :-)

I have both of my girls in my room now. It's the only way I can sleep. My oldest is 4 and youngest is 20 months. Good Luck!

Let her cry it out. I know it is hard,but it works. It may take a week or so, but be consistant b/c if you let her cry for 2.5 hours and then get her, the next night it will be 3. When things get tough I always think that I can either give in or bear with it for a week and it will be better in the long run. Be strong and you will be thankful when your child doesn't wake up anymore.

I know it's hard, but I totally agree with your doctor. Your daughter is used to you coming in her room to sooth her and get her when she cries. Even if she does cry for 2 hours, that may be what she needs to learn that you are not coming in to get her anymore and that she needs to learn to go back to sleep on her own.

I would go in the first time she wakes up, tuck her back in bed, do not pick her up though. Tell her she needs to go back to bed, and close the door. If she wakes again, you need to let her cry...i promise, it will make it so much easier on you and her, becuase after a few nights of crying all night long, she will know you won't be going in and that she needs to go back to bed on her own.

I wish you luck, be consistent and firm. All 3 of my kids have slept through the night since they were 4 months old, and they rarely EVER wake during the night, unless they are sick or have a bad dream. I always make sure bedtime is routine, making sure my kids get a book read to them every night before their bedtime which is at 7pm all the time!

My son was in his own room from about a month old. He would do the same behaviors from time to time with the same results that you had. Our fix was to do the same thing every night and that was to take a bath then go into his room turn on some music, get a bottle and read him a book. It isn't always possible to do it every night but the majority of the time we did and now he's sleeping through the night with a little fussing from time to time. Bad dreams have plagued us recently. Good luck.

My first baby didn't sleep through the night until he was 10 months old - and then at that point he slept through the night in his own bed (instead of our which he was in for his first 10 months) with no problems (until the end of my 2nd pregnancy--but that's a whole other story) We never had to resort to CIO... The second time around I thought the same thing...but he's a totally different kid - here we are at nearly 21 months and he's STILL not sleeping through...he still wakes to nurse about 2 times a night and is still in our bed. We tried CIO a while back and although it worked for the first part of the night,he'd still wake up and nurse...and as of recently (the last 6 months) he doesn't CIO at all - we've tried - he will scream for hours...no letting up and will scream until he throws up. He doesnt just cry its now screaming MAMA DADDY and BOOB on the top of his lungs and I've let him do it for a whole hour...and seeing how upset he is, I don't think he's ready. I've never been a huge proponent of CIO...and I know the importance of having my child self soothe and don't want to foster an environment that enables my child to have no independence, however, I DO want my child to feel safe at night and have a good experience. He shares a room with his brother and I know in good time he will be sleeping in peace in his own bed next to his brother's bed. Its a little frustrating now I know, I wish I had some advice...but I know how you feel and perhaps shes just not ready to sleep through the night.

J.,
My 7 month old doesn't sleep through the night either. He would wake up about 5 times. But every time I would nurse him or my husband would bounce him on the ball he would fall right back asleep. Then for a few nights he slept 6 and 7 hours. We figured out that the temperature in his room is bad. It gets very cold and then very hot. We have rigged fans around the house to blow the hot air to the thermostat so that it shuts off sooner. We have a humidifier in his room now too. It is still a struggle to get the temp. just right, but when we do he sleeps much better - only waking once or twice to nurse. Maybe it is something like that with your baby. 8 month old babies don't "test" parents. Her wants are her needs at that age. She may need you. Maybe she has another tooth ready to come through. By letting her cry you are breaking her trust in you that you built up over 8 months. Maybe you might want to try sleeping in her room with her for a while until she adjusts to it. Does she nap well in there?

Good Luck,
D.

Oh dear.
We've all been there. This is so frustrating, but there is hope.
My 19 month old started sleeping through the night and then with teething pain, would wake up again in the middle of the nite and start a cycle of waking up even though she wasn't teething.
I would recommend the NO-Cry Sleep Solution.
This book helped me greatly. Babies cry because that's the only way they can communicate. I tried the Cry it out method and my baby threw up. go in to her and comfort her-- calm her by patting her back and keeping her in her crib,-- She needs to feel secure. If you can't comfort her with her in the crib, take her out and comfort her until she can settle down, then try putting her back in the crib. Pat her until she is nearly asleep and if you can, leave the room quietly. If she notices you leaving, you comfort her until she is calm. I've read that if you make a SHHHHHH SHHHHHH SHHHHHHH sound while putting them to sleep, it's helpful because the baby hears you comforting them as well. This worked for my baby. Eventually, I was able to just stand outside her room if she woke up in the middle of the nite and say SHHHH SHHH and she would go back to sleep. It is not an overnite thing the way some people say the cry it out method works overnite. Gradually, she'll wake up less and less, and eventually will sleep through the nite, but it takes time.
This is all just jumble, probably, so i really recomend getting a hold of that book. About half of babies at this age are not sleeping through the nite, for whatever reason, so you are not alone.

J.,

I know what you're going through. My daughter is 12 months and she still doesn't sleep through the night. My daughter is having a very hard time teething and I have a feeling that is what's going on with her. She has gotten better though. She was up about 5 times a night too at 8 months. I would try and let her cry a little bit. I'm talking about 10 or 15 minutes. I actually had to let her cry for 40 minutes once, but then she passed back out after that. I know it seems like 50 when they're crying. That was the only way I could get my daughter to stop waking so frequently. I was exhausted from nursing her every few hour at night. I know a lot of moms will say not to let them cry it out, but do you want to be waking up with her until she's 3 at night? She finally started to learn that I wasn't going to rush into get her every single time she screamed. Are you sure that maybe your daughter isn't teething or possibly might have an ear infection. Any time either of my kids would wake frequently would be because of something like that. I hope tat helps and you both get some sleep.

L.

My daugther started sleeping once she was a certain weight and I gave her a full bottle of milk at night. you may want to feed her and have her go back to sleep. She may be hungry

Hello ...

... here's a thought from my therapist who helps me understand things with my family drama as WELL as with my growing and changing 2 year old.

Some kids go through "separation anxiety" more than others. If you can, it is best to realize the little one is going through it and then take baby steps (so to speak). If she is anxious that you are all of sudden not in the same room at night - maybe try bringing her back into your room a few nights a week. Then the other nights when she's in her room and wakes up crying, go in and rock with her in a chair next to her crib. When she falls asleep, put her back in. Just keep trying to get her comfortable with her new surroundings and she should adapt well.

Just know that it may take a few very sleepless nights before she adjusts but afterwards you'll have more sleep filled nights than you do now so it's a good trade-off for both of you :)

I have to tell you that I CAN NOT let my son just "cry it out" for one reason - he will throw up after crying for about 5 minutes because he cries so hard. He has done that since he was very young and still does it to this day!

The throwing up after about 3-5 min of crying happened 3 times when he was really young because people kept telling me "just wait or he will do it every time". After seeing him do it every time and having my heart ripped out each time I stopped waiting to comfort him.

He is now 2 years old and as another mom said sometimes he sleeps through the night and sometimes he doesn't. He likes to roll around on the bed and ends up with his head at the foot of the bed (thank goodness those toddler beds are only about 6 inches off the ground!!!). He likes a bottle of water sometimes just because he's thirsty. It's always a guessing game.

I have learned that sleep for mothers is rare and I wish you the best of luck! :)

Sorry to tell you this but some babies just don't sleep well. My daughter didn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time until she was over a year and even now we are having a hard time getting her out of our bed and she is two. Our son has slept thru the night in his crib since he was couple of weeks old. I think it just depends on the baby. CIO can work but it is up to you if you think it will work for you daughter. I figure they are only babies once and they aren't going to be teenagers waking up and needing to be held or whatever. Not very informative but just my two cents.

I know that the Ferber method of 'crying it out' has become vey popular but I still adhere to the attachment style of parenting because it has never felt natural to me to essentially ignore my baby when she is upset and obviously needing something.
It is really up to you which method you decide to use, however I've often found that my daughter will go back to sleep much faster if I take care of whatever is bothering her (food, gas, wet diaper, etc.).

My first child was the same way and I tried the strong willed "cry-it out". It finally broke her and she slept in her room which I wish I had not done. This is your first so I know you are still going through an adjustment period of having something SO dependent on you and that is HARD! I know you just wish you had a FEW moments to yourself and a few hours more sleep. Just remember, they grow up and pull away and become independent. When they grow up they NEVER want to sleep with you and I wish I had just relished in those moment when she wanted to just be with me, next to me, touching me. Hold her close while you can...

Hi J.,

I think first and foremost - you know your daughter best and you know what she needs. Don't doubt your "mommy instincts" because they're usually right.

That having been said, I am not a big supporter of the "cry it out" method. It works for a lot of people, but it didn't work for me - mainly because I couldn't take it. My son (now 23 mo) had a hard time sleeping through the night when I stopped nursing him around 6 mos. He really loved the comfort and closeness and all the snuggling.

We used a simple method to help him sleep at night as well as to teach him how to fall asleep by himself at bed time. When he'd wake in the middle of the night, I'd go in change his diaper (if necessary) and then snuggle and rock him for about 10 minutes. Then kiss him and put him back in bed. He may start crying and I would let him cry for 60 seconds (NO LONGER) then I'd go back in, leave him in his crib, and rub his back for a few minutes. Sometimes that was it - he'd be asleep and I'd go back to bed. If necessary, I'd repeat the cry for 60 seconds, then go in and rub his back for a few minutes until he calmed down. It only took our son about 4 nights to figure out he wasn't going to be nursing at night anymore.

When we were teaching him to put himself to sleep at night, we'd put him in bed, kiss him, and leave (we left his door open so it wasn't dark in there). If he cried, we let him cry for 60 seconds and then go back in and rub his back. Then leave again and repeat until he settled down and fell asleep on his own. Teaching him to put himself to sleep took about a month, but we also waited until he was about 18 months old and we were expecting #2. Now he goes down at night with only the occational incident and he goes down for his naps the same way.

It worked for us - like I said, I couldn't take the shrill crying and shrieking for long periods of time... but I could take it in small 1 minute doses.

Additionally, sometimes I was just too tired and weak to be a parent in the middle of the night, so I'd bring my son into bed with us and everyone would sleep! :)

Good luck!

Tough luck on the baby up crying all night scenario. I took a different route when she was little and let her nurse at night to get her back to sleep. Maybe try letting her snuggle with you until she calms down and then put her back to her own bed. I was told the same thing about picking my daughter up too much would spoil her but I think when you respond to your daughter it lets her know she is safe and loved. It also will create more trust and self confidence as she gets older. Sorry I wish I could be more help. Follow your gut even if it is against other's wishes. You are the mom, and ultimately you have to choose what is right for you and your baby. good luck!

Hi J., you've gotten a lot of good advice here, I would recommend the book "Secrets from the Baby Whisperer." I wish I had read it before my baby was born. It is simple, and amazing! My baby is ten months old, sleeps in her room, in a crib, for twelve hours! She slept in our room in a co-sleeper for the first three months. Also, your baby might be hungry, try topping her off a little more at night, give her a bigger bottle for the last one of the day. Sometimes we forget our babies are growing, and need more food! Hope this helps, dr. J.

Hi J., Hang in there, I know what it's like to be sleep deprived. Babies this young communicate by crying. I don't think her needs should be ignored. They go through growth spurts at different stages so it's very possible she is hungry. The trick is to feed her more during the day and before bedtime. Squeeze in an extra bottle feeding sometime during the day if you can. Or give her some cereal before bed with her bottle. I know you mentioned she's not teething, but sometimes they feel the pain long before the tooth comes in so it might be possible her gums are sore. If the extra food doesn't work, you might want to try Hylands teething tablets. I don't know if either of these are the reason, but there is a reason. My Pediatrician said it's ok to let them cry a little, but not much more than 15 minutes. There is a book called The no-cry sleep solution. I found it very helpful.

Hi J.,

I think you kind of answered your own question. It sounds like she did well when she was with you before, why not try again? Maybe I'm not the right person to answer, because I've always been a co-sleeping parent. I didn't plan it that way ahead of time, but once my baby was born I just didn't want to put him in the crib. Then I read Dr. Sears and all his talk about how it makes for much healthier and self-assured kids in the long run, I was sold. Many doctors will tell you that kids are testing you or that crying it out is ok and that they need to go through it. I've read a lot of stuff that says differently and I just always felt differently about it. Stick to what feels best to you, not what your doctor says. My son now sleeps very well in his own bed and my daughter slept with us until she was 1 and then I moved her into the crib. She still wakes up around 4 or 5, she's 2, and I get up and bring her into bed for the next few hours. It's great because I get a big chunk of sleep and then cuddle and doze until morning. If you really want to push sleeping in the other room then I guess you may just have to deal with the crying. Personally I've never felt good after crying myself to sleep and can't imagine babies do either. 8 months is really young too. People like to say that all babies will sleep through the night if you train them to, but physiologically they are designed to be light sleepers in their early years. It's what kept them safe "in the wild". And I think it's their instinct to want to feel safe and close to their mama while they sleep. If you want to read any doctors who really support this check out Dr. Sears or Dr. Fleiss. There is also the "No Cry Sleep Solution" which helped me at times too.

good luck,

A.

Try giving her a bath and then feeding her some baby cereal then finish with her night feeding. That may do the trick.

Hi J.! I feel your pain and have been in your shoes. My .02, which may not be worth much, but here goes- are you interacting with her during her wake up times? I think all kids crave and need our attention and your cutie wants your attention during the night. When she wakes, go to her, pat her back (or rub her back), but do not pick her up or talk to her. You'll do this for awhile the first night, 2nd night, and so on until she finally "gets" that you will soothe her but no more than that. This worked for my 2nd son and he was content that I would come when he needed me. But he started sleeping better after I made this a constant routine.

BTW- don't fret. In my humble experience, this too shall pass! Then we'll be off for another challenge! Gotta love parenthood....

Best wishes....

Hello J.!
The most compassionate and helpful book I found on helping a baby sleep through the night is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She helped me see the world through my baby's eyes with regard to sleeping and crying it out. She is an advocate of co-sleeping and attachment parenting, but she is also understanding and supportive of parents who, for many reasons, choose not to co-sleep. I have a 5 year old boy. He's confident, happy, secure, and engaged in the world. When he first came home from the hospital he slept in an Arm's Reach Cosleeper; like a mini crib attached to our be at one side. I nursed him though the night. I didn't have to get out of bed to take care of him unless it was to change his diapers, and even then everything was right near my bed and ready to go. At some point around 8 months I put him in a crib, but it was higher maintenance and something just didn't feel right. Crying it out was excruciating for all of us, so I looked for a middle way. That's when I found Pantley's book. I decided to continue with co-sleeping. We put a queen sized mattress and box spring to the side of our bed, up against the wall. It was slightly lower than our bed and we made sure it was completely safe. Yes, it took up a ridiculous amount of room but we knew it was temporary and frankly it was quite cozy! I would lay down with him and nurse him until just before he fell asleep and then, as I learned in the book, I would remove him from my breast. While he was still reflexively sucking I would gently but firmly put fingers just under his chin to keep his mouth closed until the reflex stopped and he went to sleep completely. When he woke up hours later I would do it again, and usually rock him at the same time. Eventually I was able to nurse him for a shorter time while he associated rocking with going to sleep. I went back to work when he was 18 months and my schedule became very busy. I looked forward to being so close to him in the evening; I felt like it gave us a chance to catch up. It ultimately transformed into what it is now (there were a few phases in between). Now he has his own room, with his same box spring and mattress set, and one or both of us reads 4 books with him and then it's lights out. We lie down with him until he goes to sleep but we don't have to. We've come to enjoy it ourselves. It's the sweetest time of our day. The transition to his room was simple. We were all truly ready. I am due with my second and last boy at the end of the month. I look forward to snuggling up with the little guy and including all of us. I've come to realize that what so many parents have told me since MIchael was first born; it really does go fast. So much about this world, our lives, and the lives of our children is uncertain. Life is a beautiful, fragile gift. When Michael has me at my wit's end for whatever reason, and I'm annoyed beyond belief or flat out angry I try to remember that if something were to happen to him and he was taken from me, there'd probably be nothing I wouldn't give to have one more minute with him, even if it's doing the very thing that annoyed me in the first place.
But I digress...
good luck, J.!

I have an almost 11 month old and he is not sleeping through the night either. Between the colds his older brother brings home, teething and moving around everytime he learns something new it seems almost impossible and impractical to sleep train him. I have tried crying it out, patting him on the back, etc...The only things that works is picking him up and holding him and even then there are nights when he is up for hours. This does tend to be a tough sleeping time. I thought I would be so much better at this the second time around but there are new challenges with two so look like I was wrong. I guess I really do not have great advice. Just do whatever works best for you and hang in there...it should get better.

swaddling has worked very well for us. we stopped doing it when he grew out of it and he woke up every 2 hrs. so i bought a bigger one and now he sleeps 8 hrs. you might give it a try. we bought it at babies r us, super easy!

My daughter's crib has been in our room since birth (17 months now) She started sleeping through the night about about 6 months old and started waking up again around 8 months old. We've since figured out she was teething. We couldn't see them but about a month after this started, a whole crop of teeth popped up and she went back to sleeping through the night again until her molars started. We would get up with her when she woke up, comforted her for about a half and hour and then she would fall back asleep and stay asleep til morning. When her molars started (again we couldn't see them or feel them but her pediatrician pointed out that her gums were getting redder) about a month ago, she started waking up again. As soon as they broke through (a week and a half ago) she has since gone back to sleeping through the night again.
Another possibility is temperature change in her room. Is it colder in there? Hotter?
Also reaching milestones can cause a disturbance in their sleep. Did she recently learn a new "trick" like crawling, walking, talking, scooting?
I found that when I comforted my daughter, she went back to sleep quicker than if I tried to ignore her and let her cry it out and I only had to do that during those times when she was teething. I did go in and pick her up, walk her back to sleep, occasionally when I was really tired, I'd briefly nurse her back to sleep but again, it didn't create a pattern for her to keep waking up. She did eventually go back to sleeping through the night again. I went through the same thing with my now 12 year old son too although his were more frequent during times of growth and development.

I wanted to add after reading some of the responses, I do a lot of the same things as poster Eden does in comforting my daughter and did with my son. I feel that in responding to their needs you are giving them a sense of security in knowing that you are there.
A lot of experts believe that the CIO method doesn't stop them from waking up any less it only makes them stop crying for you because they know you won't come. Responding to my son didn't have any negative consequences on his well being and my responding to my daughter hasn't prolonged our sleepless nights at all.
Good luck!

You could try keeping her up as long as possible during the day to make her tired before bed. Maybe just a morning nap and then up for the rest of the day. Or if she has a particular item that is comforting. When I was little, my dad would give me one of my mom's night gowns to sleep with and I could sleep. I have also found with my kids, that soft music helps them sleep. These are things that have worked for me.

Get your husband to help take over. That's what we did after a huge fight. He took over at night so I could get a full night's sleep and our daughter was fine. Sometimes it takes the dad to do the dirty work.

Weve all been there, just hang in there! My son is 10 months old nad he still wakes up sometimes. They have weeks were they want to sleep through the night and then out of the clear blue theyll start waking up again. If you know she is not hurt, sick, etc. the best thing you can do is stick to your guns. The only thing it may be is seperation anxiety though it seems to be a little early. Does she cry harder when you or your husband come to her? If it is seperation anxiety, it usually only lasts for a few weeks at most as long as youre consistent. Good luck and hang in there...

My son did not sleep through the night till he was 3 years old. We went to the sleep experts - we tried everything they recommended and nothing worked. It just made him more angry. If I had listened to my instints I would have kept his crib ( we had it in our room till he was about 4 months old) in our room for much longer. We eventually put a bed on the floor and he still woke up but it was easier to deal with since he was right next to us. Now he is a great sleeper, he sleeps 11 hours and only on occasion will wake up. The "letting them cry themselves to bed" and the "let them soothe themselves" I now think is ridiculous. They are babies!

Hi,
I am the mother of 4 sons 15-28. I babysit for friends regularly their little ones are 2 yrs and 6 months old. They had crying problems too until they found a book called "The Sleep Easy Solution The Exhausted Parents Guide to Getting Your Child To Sleep Birth Through Age 5" The book was followed to a T and now it is heaven at bed and nap time. I put the little one down if she fusses at all it is just for a few minutes and then she is out like a light. She now goes to bed for the night around 6:30 pm and sleeps til 5:30 am gets fed then back to sleep she goes until 6:30 or 7 when her brother wakes up. Before the book they tried the letting her cry thing too and it lasted forever. The book tells you exactly when to go back in and reasure in voice only ( never picking up) it took less than aweek following the book for the parents to be able to sleep through the night. I wish this book was around when mine were small. Good Luck!

It is probably just a habit. Her body is used to waking up and eating in the middle of the night. Don't nurse her or give her a bottle. Whether you pick her up and rock her or simply pat her back doesn't matter as much as cutting out that feeding. Add a little more to her last snack or meal. And give her a little bigger of a breakfast.

My oldest slept 12 hrs a night from 6 weeks. My second didn't start sleeping 10 hrs until 9 months. Even now I'm lucky if she gets the whole 10 hours but if she wakes up at night it is only once or twice a week. She's 2.

Hi,
I have a daughter (who is now 10)who did not sleep through the night until she was 2. When she would wake up, she would want me. If I sent her father in, she would be angry. Her cries would go from crying to wails! She just wanted mom. I also tried letting her "cry it out" and could not do it. She would cry for a while, then wimper, then cry, then wimper....for hours. She eventually grew out of it, but she just wanted mom. Sorry, no magic formula...sometimes they just need comforting.
M.

Sometimes they do this. Does she have a soother binky..fingers...blanket. She might need to suck. No bottle of course. Try the mobile the tiny love lights and sound is good. My daughter loves it! Or white noise(the noise machines) It will only get better hang in there.

It sounds like she is having a hard time detaching. My daughter did not sleep throught the night until she was like 11 months old. Does she drink a lot of bottles through out the day? It may be (this was my case) that when you start to kind of wean her off the bottle she may feel more at ease sleeping alone because she will have found other ways to self-soothe. I think the issue she's having is that she probably was waking up periodically through out the night while she was sleeping with you and your husband (you just never knew it because she wouldn't cy) but because you were physically there she was more at ease and it was easier for her to sleep or even contently stay awake until she was ready to fall asleep. Now she's in a room all alone and doesn't feel comfortable so it's natural for her to cry. It may help if you just go in her room and give her little love taps on her bottom or a soft rub on her back to comfort her and to let her know that you are there. Or,just bring her back in bed with you. (They grow out of wanting to sleep with you sooner than you'd like) Hope this helps... Oh ya, sometimes it's good to let them cry, but it's more important (to me) that they know you will be there when they need you and then eventually the crying will stop because she will have the security she needs to know that you are there. Hope this helps and I hope you get a good nights sleep soon. I feel your pain :)

Hi J.
My children didn't sleep through the night until they were about a year old. I put it down to grumbling teeth as although they're not making an appearance, with some children they just take an age to come through. Consequently there's not a great deal you can do apart from take it in turns to have a lie in at the weekend!

Oh J., I feel your pain. I have a 5 month old baby with the same problem. We live in a tiny apartment that does not let me escape the cries either. It's SO hard! I found a book that is REALLY helpful, and supportive of what you're going through, and it's called the SleepEasy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger. I highly recommend it, and here's a few things that I learned that have helped me a ton.

1. If your baby is hitting a major milestone, such as crawling or pulling to a stand (or walking of course) they will have a hard time sleeping for 7-10 days, and you kind of have to grin and bear it.

2. Babies have a strong sense of smell, and she could probably sense that you were nearby when she slept in the same room as you. Put something from your bed, like a blanket, sheet, or a stuffed animal that you've slept with, in bed with her, to become a "comfort" object.

3. My baby once cried for 2.5 hours as well, and I hated it. But the book taught me why. I was not being 100% consistent about when I'd pick her up and when I'd make her cry it out. So she was always just counting on me to come get her, and she'd cry until I came. When I went to my parents house over Christmas, I had a separate room to put her in, so I decided to be absolutely 100% consistent. Since my baby was still eating at night, the book taught me how to wean her off it, so I'd know she wasn't hungry (it helps you do this over the course of a few days, and it works wonderfully.) The book has you go pick up your baby when she's asleep (a little earlier than she normally wakes us), feed her while she's still half asleep, then put her back down. That way, when she does wake up and cry, you don't go get her. So you NEVER go get her when she's crying, unless it's time to get up for the day, or from a nap, and as soon as you hear awake sounds, you go get her, so she isn't crying. THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, IT WORKED FOR MY DAUGHTER IN 3 OR 4 DAYS!! Even for napping. She learned SO quickly that if she woke up, cried, and I didn't come, it meant she was supposed to put herself back to sleep. You just have to be 100% consistent so she can learn it. It will be really hard if you can hear her crying the first night or two, but I recommend earplugs and a fan to help drown it out.

Good luck, I hope some of this helps. My baby was doing great until she started crawling and standing. I'm waiting out the 10 days, then going back my 100% consistency...cause I really need a full nights sleep.

My son was quite colicky around this age. I had a cousin who told me about HYLAND'S COLIC TABLETS. they worked really really well. They are all natural and disolve under their tounge. Doc kinda laughed but they worked.
Another thing I did on the cry out method.
Start a routine. When baby starts crying let them cry for 5 minutes go in their room and let them see you do NOT pick them up or touch them. Try that for about a week. Then stretch it to 10 minutes. Then 15 minutes. After a couple weeks my son was sleeping through the night. Some times pediatricians are a little brutal. I actually fired my first one because when I asked this same question his response was "babies cry" and mom's we know the different sounds of the cry...
I wish you much luck. I know it is hard to be patient But you can do it!
Much love
C.

FIRE YOUR DOCTOR.

That's just sick, to say that a baby is being bad and needs to be taught by being ignored. An 8 month old is incapable of manipulating you. Crying is your baby's only way to tell you she needs help. It's Mother Nature's way to get you to respond to your baby so she can survive, not your baby's way of bossing you around. (I know that sounds borderline wacko, but remember that babies in orphanages, who never get touched, can die.) Kids up to 3 often just aren't capable of getting back to sleep without a little love and reassurance. She's scared, and feels abandoned when you don't come. It is terrifying for her.

We are animals, and baby animals sleep with their parents. I'm not saying you *have* to cosleep, but your baby never got the memo that she was born in one of the only times and places in human history where babies sleep in a separate room, so be very gentle with her. Check out the No Cry Sleep Solution.

Better yet, just assume that she is ALWAYS doing her best, and give her what you think she wants. You can't spoil a baby. Lots of people have told me I am spoiling my baby, who is 8 mos too, sleeps with us, and is carried in a front pack a lot. But you know what? She is amazingly "unspoiled" in her disposition. Strangers now comment constantly on how calm and sweet she is. I believe it is partly because she knows her needs are always met.

I figure, I'm a SAHM, why force my baby into a schedule that makes her miserable? If we have a bad night, I can nap with her.

Yes, it gets tedious soothing my baby back to sleep repeatedly (when I am not asleep at the same time), but this is the job we both signed up for. I lie there and read a book and she drifts off. Babies are big before you know it, and if you trust them, they grow out of just about everything in their own time.

How was she sleeping when you all slept together? It seems that sometimes it takes a while for big changes to sink in and now she may have realized that she is missing you. If you don't have any big philosophical oppositions to a family bed (even sleeping in the same room is a form of it) then consider it again. I have learned through my own daughter, who's now 8, that this did not spoil her. Rather it built a deeper bond between her, my husband and myself. It helped to unify us as a family by cementing trust so early on. On the practical side, it was so much easier to have her so close if she needed anything in the middle of the night. By the way, my husband and I met at my 15th birthday party and are still together 18 years later. I can really relate to your story. Trust yourselves and enjoy your daughter, she won't be this age again.

I am struggling as well! I have been reading all the posts and taking notes on how to help my daughter out too (7 months and not sleeping through the night). I think there is some great advice there, and I recently bought the Elizabeth Pantley book--I am going to start it in earnest very soon.

One note about the pediatrician--get a new one. I did. When I told my ped that I did not believe in or relate to the Cry It Out method (I agree with the other posts that my daughter is communicating a very real need to be comforted and I refuse to let her cry), my ped responded that I could do whatever I wanted, but she didn't want to hear about how my daughter doesn't sleep through the night at our next appointment! I switched immediately. I meet the new ped in a month. We'll see if he is more open minded.

Good luck!

K. P.

I have the same problem with my daughter and she's 13 months old. but my daughter is spoiled b/c she's still in our room and sometimes sleeps in our bed. the good thing is that you got her out of your room. Secondly, I don't think you should let her cry, I know my daughter would cry all night if I let her. Try going in, in intervals, 5,7 10 mins and when you go in don't pick her up, just rub her back or pat her. Or try a noise machine, her room may be to quite for her. She was used to hearing you and your husband sleeping in the room. I will be trying all these technique in the near future when I move our daughter out of our room. Good luck and don't worry It will get better.

Babies can't plot to get you to come to them. Your doc is wrong about that. You're not going to like this, but your baby may just be this way. My son didn't sleep through the night till he was five! One thing that can help is to put baby in a carrier or other comfy and SAFE device, put baby and carrier on top of your washing machine, turn it on and baby will probably nod right off in a few minutes. Obviously you wedge baby in so that no vibrations can possibly shake him off! When baby is sound asleeep,, slip him back into his bed and go get some rest yourself, Mama!

Dear J.,

Hmmm...let's see...your baby slept well in your room but not in hers. She cries for hours on end and is grumpy the next day. You're not sleeping well either. Are your instincts telling you anything? She is NOT testing you, she is too young to manipulate you when it comes to this. She is still an infant, with (high) needs and crying it out is just teaching her that her needs are not important enough to be met. Despite many people saying things to the contrary, crying it out methods do have lasting psychological impacts (for example, some links to panic/anxiety disorders in adults have been found). They work for many families but I personally think they should be a last resort, and if the baby keeps crying, STOP and try something else. I would suggest reading some of the Dr. Sears books - Parenting the Fussy Baby, Night-time Parenting or even the Baby Book has some good info on sleep. In the meantime, put her crib back in your room and please, please, please comfort her when she's crying.
Good luck.

I had to let mine cry through the night and it was painful- the first night she cried 4 hrs and 45 min. I could not check on her or anything- I just tried to concentrate on other things and yes I was up all night too. Finally when there was no sound for 45 min I opened the door a little to make sure she was still breathing.
Next night I bared down for another long night but she only cried 45 min. From that point on- she never cried again unless something was wrong- it was wonderful for everyone but it was PAINFUL that first night. You can't even go in to rub their back or settle their fear because that will make it last longer-they think you will come in if they keep it up long enough.
Now my daughter is 21 and very well adjusted so do not fear this tactic.

My son was a wakeful baby. We couldn't put him down until he was totally asleep and even then he would wake up soon as he touched the sheet. We decided co-sleeping was the solution for us. He didn't sleep through the night until we weaned him at 18 months. That only lasted a couple of months because he didn't want to be in his crib and looked like he could climb out. After we got him a toddler bed, he woke up at least once a night. We just left his door open when we went to bed and he could come to us when he woke up. Now we just bring him into our bed when we go to bed. I love waking up with him and we all sleep better not anticipating when he's going to wake up.

It's paid off. He has always been a very happy and now so confidant. He plays well with other kids and is very social. Can't say for sure if one equals the other but why chance it. Just remember, we don't sleep perfectly either and isn't it nice when you have a hard night, your husband is right next to you to comfort you. Your daughter might be going through a change and needs a little extra comfort.

Goodluck.

We are going through something similar with our twin boys. They are 5 mo old though, so still feed twice at night. One thing that helped a TON was an earlier bedtime...I know it seems backwards, but it is recommended by A LOT of pediatricians. We started putting our boys down at 6:30 (we start their bedtime routine at 6:00). That seemed to help a little, but they were still waking 6-8 times each every night, so we let them cry it out this last week. Noah was fine after two nights, but Micah cried for 2- 2 1/2 hrs multiple times. I started keeping a sleep log so I could actually see if there was any improvement. It was slow, but there was improvement! It has been 10 days now and he is sleeping great. Best of luck to you. I really believe it is important to teach our children to sleep well...for their health/learning etc. It can be VERY hard though!

Hi! Not all babies sleep thru the night at this age. And forcing her to do it is clearly not working. Please read Heathly Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Weissbluth for some tips. This book is great. I still go to it and my daughter has been sleeping thru the night for about months now(she is 18 months old). Hope that helps.

I always put an hour limit on cry it out. After an hour, I go to them. I used the book, "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" which I believe recommends stopping at an hour.

However, it worked for me within a week with all 3 of my kids. If your daughter isn't responding, I don't know what to say! Just be consistent...don't go in sometimes, and not others.

I am not a fan of the crying it out. Didn't work for me at all and it doesn't feel right. I liked the book Good Night Sleep Tight. Middle of the road, of teaching them to learn to sleep by themselves. Check online, The Sleeplady. It takes some work on your part and a few weeks of serious consistency, and with set backs you'll have to do it again (like after they get sick), but worth a try.

Good luck!

I NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LET MY DAUGHTER "CRY IT OUT". Babies need to be held and have the comfort of mama. Did you ever think that she is winding down from a busy day, they can't talk, so they cry. If your baby is on a bottle, add some rice cereal to it. Or, before bed, or after her night time bath, mix some rice cereal with milk or formula. I found that when I did this, it was "comfort food" and filled up that little space that woke my daughter up. I don't think that my daughter actually started sleeping through the night until she turned 2yrs old. She will be three in May. Babies are all different, don't listen to others when they tell you their kids are sleeping thru the night at this age and that age...they are all different. My son, who is now 13, slept through the night since day one....my daughter was up every two hours looking for the boob...and every night is different. Sometimes she sleeps throgh the night, and others she doesn't. WE all have different sleep patterns...try the rice cereal and just be there for your baby...maybe there is something there that is spooking her...babies do have nightmares! Try turning on classical music, just loud enough to hear it...it might smooth out some of the "bumps". Hope this helps...Good luck...

Hi...here are a couple of things that are working for me right now, my granddaughter is a little over 2 and has recently been waking up in the night.

I go get her, pick her up and give her a cuddle until she stops crying...then I put her back in bed and pat her back for a bit.

Often, I turn on some soft soothing music when she goes to bed and that somehow seems to help a lot of the time.

Other things I do after cuddling her and patting her back so she feels comforted:

Sometimes, I light a nice smelling candle for her, it seems to be comforting, maybe it is a combination of the smell and the flickering light. If this is scary to you, I think they have a new air freshener that simulates a flickering candle.

If you have a little television for her room, sometimes putting on a video with the volume low gives them something comforting to keep them company until they go back to sleep.

If she is really having a hard time, I'll put her in my bed with me until she goes back to sleep and then carry her to her own bed, lay her down and pat her back for a few minutes before I leave the room.

I think it is important for a baby to know you are there, I don't think it's good to let a baby cry when they wake up in the night without going in to comfort them for a few minutes first. Sometimes, I think they may have had a dream or heard something that startled them, and they need to know you're there and they are safe.

Some sleepless nights are often just a part of the deal. Babies have that challenge of not being able to communicate what is bothering them, you know what I mean? It will pass.

Good luck!

Hi J.,
I have 2 children and both were extremely different when it came to sleeping...my daughter slept through the night from the moment we brought her home, but at around 7-8 months old she started wanting mommy all the time and waking up constantly...we did the ferber method with her and it was great...worked well....the longest the book says to let them cry is 30 minutes so the whole 2 1/2 hrs of crying is just too long in my opinion. My son on the other hand has been a challenge since day one...the ferber method did not work with him...he would cry all night long if I let him..so we started a strict bedtime routine....every night he gives everyone his hugs and kisses then it's up to his room where he and I sit on the rocker and talk about our day together...we have a little music and light show that we play and as soon as that goes off he knows it's time for him to go to sleep. I give him his hugs and lay him in bed with his blanket and stuffed animal of choice, I turn the music back on for him and off I go. In the beginning he would cry of course..I would go back in and talk with him a little and see if anything was wrong and then leave...after about 10 minutes if he was still crying I would go back in...if it seems like he's not going to stop we start the routine over again. The whole time we are rocking I am assuring him that when the music goes off mommy is going to lay you down to go ni night..your going to go to sleep like a "big boy"...ect...In the beginning just getting any routine down is difficult, some are stuborn...he may cry a lot in the beginning, but if you go in after the first 5 minutes then 10 minutes then 15 minutes then if they are still crying after that 1/2 hr pick them up and start your night over again...they will eventually get sick of crying...My son is now the best sleeper ever and I never thought I would say that..we rock and he lays down...every once in awhile he will test me so we go back to the start of it all and within 1 week he is back on track again...patience..I know it's hard but it will pay off in the long run.

Don't feel bad, my daughter is 16 months old and she STILL wakes up all through the night when my friend's kids sleep all night long. We let our daughter cry it out and it does work SOMETIMES. I usually give her a bottle and she goes back to sleep but pretty soon the bottle will be going bye bye and then I don't know what I'll do, lol. The joys of parenting!!!

she feels neglected since in a room by herself-- have you a puppy? if not, perhaps s musical toy she loves -- otherwise-- she has no health problems, it may be the doctor is right, and you must put up with the lasting noise and tear-jerking to show her you are the parents, and the child must consent to your bidding.

HI, J., Well you are not alone. My daughter didn't start sleeping throught he night until she was 14 mos. old. My other kids didn't sleep throught the night until they were 3 yrs. old. I feel very fortunate that my 19mos. old does sleep(except when she's sick, of course). I started only letting her cry it out during nap time first and I made sure we were on a schedule. She napped in the morning and in the late afternoon. I put some soft nap time music on told her she was going to take a nap and I love her and kissed her goodnight. I would also cover her with her blanket and tell her it's time to take a nap or go to sleep. We continued the routine at night time too. She knows after she brushes her teeth it's time to go to bed and she's really good about it. It took me about 2 weeks I think, but she got the hang of it and caught on to the routine. You can read Healthy sleep habits, happy child by Marc Weissbluth. It helped give me some perspective on what to do, but every child is different. I hope some of this helps. Good luck!

You probably don't want to hear this, but it is really normal that your baby isn't sleeping through the night - think of all the things her mind and body is processing. These days we seem to want our babies to fit into our lifestyles without keeping us up, but the truth is, babies have been known to deprive parents of sleep since the beginning of time.

That being said, I feel that your pediatrician has done you a great disservice by telling you to let your poor daughter cry it out. For him to tell you that your 8 month old daughter is testing you is ridiculous. Babies are helpless individuals by nature and therefore, even though it appears that your daughter "wants" you at night, to her, this is most definitely a need. And the sad thing is that by you letting her cry her eyes out, the only thing you are teaching her is that you will not be there for her when she needs you. And that she ought not expect much from you (or your husband) because you're showing her that she isn't worth it. Parenting is not just a day time job, but a night time one too. And, babies have so many things going on with all the skills they are learning - mentally and physically - and just regular growth that sometimes they're going to need more of your attention (daytime and/or nighttime) - teething (which is happening ALL THE TIME even if you're not seeing teeth), growth spurts, milestones, etc. It doesn't surprise me that your daughter is grumpy the next day after a crying bout. Wouldn't you be upset too? I really think the only way you're going to get anywhere here is to abandon the idea of your baby crying it out.

My suggestion would be to bring the baby back into your bedroom. Maybe that's all she wants - to know you're close to her. Although quite honestly, it might take a bit of work to repair the damage done to the trust between you guys since she's been crying for 2.5 hours at a time.

I know it's not easy being a parent to a baby that wakes at night, but hang in there. This time is so fleeting and when it's over you will be so happy and proud of yourself that you stayed with it and gave your daughter EVERYTHING that you could. Isn't that our job as parents? It truly takes a strong mama to just be there for her baby. Good luck and best wishes :)

P.S. Your baby is not stubborn - you're lucky that she considers herself worthy enough to keep trying to get your attention (and love) and doesn't just give up and accept that she's not worth it. Honestly, being a little less cynical about your baby and her needs will help you tremendously (I mean that sincerely). Remember that she is just a baby, not a jaded adult that's hell bent on making your nights miserable.

If your daughter is still not sleeping thru the night, I suggest you try "silent nights" sleep patch by Lifewave. They work like a charm and there are no drugs or chemicals that go into the body. You may order a sample at Lifewave.com/kherihealth best of luck!!

Dear J.,

both my boys were at least 1 1/2 before they started sleeping through the night by themselves. I kept them in bed with me up until this point. I think all babies have their own schedule on when they feel comfortable about making changes. When my boys were ready, they went to bed in their own room without any crying and at first they woke up often, but after a while they started waking up less and less until they slept through the night. My littlest who is now almost two, wakes up sometimes and he'll cry for a few minutes before falling back asleep. I don't believe in letting babies cry it out. I can't imagine a baby crying for 2.5 hours and having no one respond. She is not testing you. She may not feel ready to be alone all night. Eight months is not very old, and every baby is different. Think about how much her world is changing everyday and how challenging it is at this age. Maybe she still needs the company at night to feel reassured. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it's terrible that a pediatrician told you that your baby will learn that you won't come for her. I always responded to my children's cries, and they are extremely well adjusted. Neither one ever cried being left at day care or nursery school and my five year old has never had bad dreams and isn't afraid of the dark.
Good luck and hang in there because it will get better!
C. C.

Children start sleeping through the night whenever it is that they are individually ready, and eight months is still very young to be expecting that. Do NOT make her cry it out--that will only teach her that her parents are not there for her at night, plus it could make her sick both mentally and physically. It has nothing to do with stubbornness--she's just needy, because babies are needy. Try reading the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley." Good luck.

my daughter was 15mos before she would sleep thru the night. Due to me nursing. But when I did stop she would wake up crying, and crying, and crying. I found that I just had to let her cry, and figure things out. That I know she's okay, she's dry, worm, and that she's not going to get what she wants. It was very hard for me, but she finnaly figured it out after about a week. I think 8 mons is still young, not to wake up. But thats just my opinion, and experiance with my own kids. I hope this helps a little. It's not you, don't worry.

hi J.! One question why did you put her in another room? I think the answer is right there in your email. Bring her back into the room. You will both get sleep, all three of you will.
Also do you still nurse?
Please, Please, please do not let your baby cry it out. Do you want her to get the message
that if she is sad, scared, or hurt no one will come? Studies show eventually they do stop crying, because it is futile they just give up. Please pick up, hold, cuddle, your daughter as much as you can. I can't believe I am saying this but they grow up so fast. My sons are 13 and 17.