SAHM Weekends

Yes. The only difference is hubby is home to help and sometimes we will take trips to the city to go to the zoo, the mall, Costco, etc.

My weekends are different from my weekdays because my husband is home and I get to sleep till noon. My husband and I have known each other since we were fifteen years old. He knows I'm a much happier person if I can sleep in well past the time the sun has risen so during my work week, I get up with the dawn and survive my days but on the weekend, I feel normal again.

I appreciate him x ###-###-#### for allowing me this indulgence and for being completely understanding of my nocturnal ways. My weekends are like a vacation from the week. (And my daughter loves the weekends because when daddy fixes breakfast... she gets whatever she wants rather than whatever mommy is in the mood to put on the table. <3 One morning she requested hamburgers... and the man pulled out the briquet BBQ and barbecued for breakfast.)

Chocolate cake for breakfast? Sure! "Dad is great! Gives us the chocolate cake!" - Bill Cosby

http://youtu.be/sRmN4KnfPxQ

Also, I just woke up. Good...er, afternoon!

Back when my marriage was good....

We split weekends.

One day I got to sleep in until I woke up and plan a whole day without checking about anything (he had our son from wakeup until bedtime)

One day he got to sleep in until he woke up and plan a whole day without checking about anything

(When my husband was working 4 ten's) One day was a family day

How this happened... was that after 9 months I threw a holy fit that it was completely sodding unfair that he got 2 days off each week and I got zero. Again, back when my marriage was 'good'... Dad being "on" for 24 hours one day a week actually created a lot of understanding.

M., life's too short for this. Stop taking care of the house on the weekends! Go out with your family and do fun stuff. The only time I ever cleaned up on the weekends was when I was working full time, and once I was a SAHM, if we were having company.

Sounds to me like you need to be "hard on yourself" to have a good time some!

Btw, Nicole, I LOVE Bill Cosby's "Himself" stand up comedy routine! "Dad is great! Gives us the chocolate cake!" has happened in our house too!

Dawn

Sounds like you need to plan time for yourself. You cannot expect someone else to do this for you. It's so easy to get into a rut. It takes action to get out of it. Ask your husband to stay with the baby and you go do something you'd like to do. Make it a regular week end event.

I too used to put others before myself and learned thru therapy to value myself as much as others. It took a definite focus on my part to learn why I was allowing myself to burn out and to change the way I thought and acted. I'm so much happier now. And I still consider and help others.

Yes, I have felt that way before.
I have learned (it took me awhile) to ask for help and take my breaks where I can.
For example, when my son would nap, I would run around getting everything done. Oh no, not anymore.
Especially since somtimes he does not nap! Yikes. The in justice!
So..........I get away by myself when I can when hubby can watch my son.

Think of it like this: You're at a full time job. You get a one hour lunch &
two 10 min breaks. Now while your hours are much longer, there's no
sick pay or paid vacation, no weekend time off, no getting off right at
5pm etc., you can "build" in some time for yourself.

You do less housework either on the weekends so you can relax w/your
kids and hubby .
Or
You do more on the weekends so you can relax a bit during the week.

I try to keep up on laundry.
Do dishes every morning.
Vacuum every other day or every two days.
I make my bed quickly to feel better about my day and my room.
I dust once a week.

My house is no longer as clean & tidy.
It looks lived in. I have finally come to terms to "like it that way" because
it means I have kids to love and a family.

I let one room to be the messy-we live-in-this-one room.
I no longer get to pee in private, finish a thought or get anything done.
But I am alive & well with my kids & their health.
And as I write this I have my little one begging me for some attention.
While he is trying my last nerve, you know what? He will not always be this small so I have to get off of Mamapedia for now and spend some time w/my little guy. :)

Yep, feel exactly the same. And vacation is just taking the show on the road. I don't know if your kids are preschoolers or in school, but now that they're in school, I look forward to Mondays like most people look forward to Saturdays! It's an opportunity to take a little break and do what I want. I love being with my family on the weekends, but there's no line between my family and my job!

ETA: I'm amazed there's a "finish" to your laundry!

not so much for me because i observe Sabbath. I get my housework done by Friday and Saturday is my guilt free day. Aside from the daily dose of dishes, I don't touch laundry, a vacuum, or anything that can wait for another day. I enjoy my kids, take a nap, go for a bike ride with the family or spend the day with friends or family. Its a great way to break the monotony.

Ditto that, M.. I actually find my break time comes when Kiddo is in half-day kindergarten. I'm learning to blow everything off on Friday because nobody except me is going to be looking out for Mama Gettin' a Break.

Actually, negotiating the needs of the child and the desires of the adults and the needs of the house-- all this feels like MORE work on weekends. I actually had to tell my husband this morning that we needed to be sure to schedule some 'fun' times this weekend, because otherwise we'd use it up with shopping (tried doing it during the week, husband still insists on going on weekends), housework and other errands.

Really, all I want is an hour at the library to myself. Fat chance, huh?

When my kids were really young, sure. When they got older, in school, no, the weekends were special because that was the time I got to spend with the kids too. Really the weekends haven't changed much since I started working.

I hear ya! Though this was more true when DD was little, I would often think that every single day was exactly the same! It's a little different now that she's older and has school during the week and sports on the weekend.

Do try to take care of yourself, even though you are used to putting yourself last. It will make a world of difference. I even used to love the 'outing' of going to the grocery store by myself- such a treat! :-)

You're not the only one M.. But you know what I have come to find, as SAHM's, we have 7 days in which to accomplish stuff and you shouldn't overwhelm yourself with doing EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY. Pace yourself. We have that luxury. If its a beautiful day.....get out, if your son is in need of you.....go play. I get up make breakfast...nobody eats it. I put it away or feed the dogs with it, wash dishes and watch the Today Show 'til 11. I do laundry on Mondays so no one is in my way or I have to think I'm a terrible mom for not spending time with the family on weekends. I vacuum after laundry and make dinner early in the day so that my evenings are free. I ron on Tuesdays. I get out when it's beautiful, take a book with me, go for long walks. There is only so many times you can cook and clean and do laundry. Take a deep breath and ENJOY the gift that is being at home. Enjoy the moments with your son, make new ones, because before you know it, he'll be grown and you will regret not doing more fun things or memorable things. Everything does not need to be done in one day. Let that monster go. You will feel loads better(no pun intended)..I promise. Good luck!

When my kids were babies this was more true but as they grew not so much.

But for me, mostly I made a point of having everything done through the week. Sometimes it wasn't possible especially if there was an event coming up or something special. But I figured the weekends were mine too as much as they were my husband's as much as I could make them that way. I'd have dinners made so we had left overs or sandwiches for the weekend, or something quick or that the kids could make themselves, no laundry done, no cleaning other than the essentials (as they got older, they helped a lot with this). I needed weekends and I deserved it as much as my husband, I worked just as hard if not harder in my own way, because family doesn't get off work at 5:00, not to mention homeschooling, schooling myself and caring for many others outside of the family. It gets easier as the kids get older if you direct it this way. When my kids were teens a lot of times they were working on the weekends or going to some outing, so that makes it easier too, if you make sure they're doing their part.

Maybe you should just decide to change it up and give yourself the weekends or at least a couple a month. Be prepared for the weekend, mentally and physically and start making changes in the household routine.

BE WELL

I agree with Jo...I did feel this way when they were little but once they got bigger it changed. When your kids get older you can do so much more with them and really have fun on the weekends. I still do most of the cleaning and all of the laundry but I space this out through the week so its not a ton on the weekend. I am easily able to do this because the kids require so much less from me.

I have been at home for ten years now. I always made sure I took some time for myself every weekend. Sometimes I would go out to yard sales, or shopping, or out to lunch or dinner with a frined, or by myself, or a girls night out. I even go on a girls weekend now and then. Find something you like to do, and do it. Make sure your husband also has the opportunity to do his own thing.

You need to make time for yourself. Either decide with hubby on one night a week that you can leave at a set time (5 PM?) or whenever he can easily be home and don't come home again until the kids are in bed. Even if you have to sit in the driveway and read a book, I would wait for hubby to take care of that at least once a week. If he leaves a mess, take care if it the next day.
Or else you should get an afternoon free every weekend where you leave the house and let hubby be the parent for the afternoon. Library, Barnes & Noble, mall, local bagel shop, movie, long walk, meet friends, whatever.

My weekends are different. I try to get everything done during the week, so the weekend is empty. My husband pretty much takes care of most " child care" on the weekends because I do most during the week. My feeling is, if he didn't want to take care of kids, he shouldn't have had any ( we had this conversation before becoming parents). He allows me to sleep in on Sundays because he knows sleeping in , is important to me.

I understand what you mean... hubby would say to me.. "I just want to sleep in for a change" .. but I was the one that always got up with the kids in the middle of the night, and I was the one that got up when THEY woke up.... and that was usually before HE got out of bed.

On "vacation", we usually went to visit our families..... and of course... who took care of the kids, helped cook, clean, do laundry, and all of that? ME! I didn't get a "vacation" ........

One time, at his parent's house, the kids were being a bit noisy, and his M. basically said.. "We need to keep them quiet... Jim needs his sleep." Boy, that really hurt... I didn't say anything, though. (It isn't like he is just sleeping until 8 am for a change... he would usually stay in bed until 10 or 11 am, or even later, if he could.

Yep... moms are on duty 24/7...... but.. I wouldn't trade the kids I have for ANYTHING! Yes, sometimes I resented it..... but I am still married to my first and only hubby, the father of all 4 kids.

What is this thing called a "weekend?" My week never ends!

Yeah... same here. Only, my husband works on Saturdays most of the time, so he isn't here on Saturday either. So yeah... it really isn't much different than M-F.
:/

Like others have said, that will change as the kids get older. My kids are teenagers and we spend many weekends running around to baseball and/or hockey tournaments, games, etc. We do try to get some of the bigger periodic and seasonal chores done on weekends (leaf raking, deck staining...), but even when they were younger we tried to reserve at least one day of the weekend for a fun family activity. Also on weekends my husband and older son are often at a sporting event such as a Vikings (season tickets) or Twins game. We also regularly attend church on weekends during the school year and I work at church one weekend a month so that makes the weekends feel different. So, this too shall pass! I recommend you take at least one weekend a month for a fun family activity like an apple orchard, children's or science museum, the zoo, a picnic, etc.