Sahm's- How Do You Stay Sane?

Who says we are sane.
lol
Once I caught myself telling my hubby---who's a good boy who cleaned his plate and then I tickled him.

Thank goodness my kids are in school now. I am starting to relax and the house is a lot cleaner.

I've been a SAHM for 13 yrs now and no it's not easy. But definitely worth it for me. First thing you need to do is let go. Forget about trying to have a neat and tidy house. It helps me to remember I can clean the house tomorrow but my little one will someday not want to snuggle in my lap for a book. The toilet paper solution? Wonderful! Easy clean up and you get a break. Nothing wrong there.

i am nine years in - with 3 kids. my best advice is leave the house every day - even if it seems daunting. sometimes it would be to do stuff for the kids - go the park, and sometime stuff i had to do - run errands, etc. but leave every day. the change of space and perspective is good for everyone.

it also makes you shower, get dressed and interact with rational people, which can all be priceless.

LOL! This made me laugh. I can relate, even though I am now back at work. When I was home for maternity leave, lunches with friends kept me sane. Sometimes they would come over with coffee and chat, or we would meet at a restaurant with all kids. We would also shop on occassion.

Music helps a lot, too. I would pop in an adult yet kid friendly CD and get lost in it. Dave Matthews, Amos Lee, Ray Lamontagne. All good choices, depending on your music style of course! Pop in a dance CD and dance in the living room with the kids. My kids loved this!

Your house will always be trashed, working or SAHM. I work, and ours is messy a lot! Just breathe and realize EVERY other mom is going through this! Keep one room as clean as possible, try to ignore the rest. For me, a clean kitchen is a must. I cannot cook with clutter around me!

=)

Sane? Hmmm...I've been a full time SAHM for 11 years now. With each child ( I have 3 and pregnant with the 4th), I have had to readjust my priorities where the house is concerned. You say you're letting your baby unroll the toilet paper roll so you can have a break. To me this sounds like you've lost control of the situation, not saying this is a bad thing (we've ALL been there) but you need to get control of the situation and turn things around. The big question is HOW? For starters, lock the bathroom door. In fact, lock all of the rooms you want them to stay out of. Next, take them outside! Oh my what a good dose of fresh air does to a child and bring a book for yourself. I let mine run around while I read. Being at home is not the easiest job and nope, my house is not neat at the moment...but it might be later when my other two come home from school and they do their chores! I am all for being organized but most days that goes right out the window. I take it day by day and try to do what I can given the time I have available. Many many nights I stay up late to get caught up. Not the ideal situation for a pregnant mama who is already very tired, but at least I go to bed feeling like I got something productive done, even it means folding a load of laundry I did yesterday. At the end of the day though, my kiddos are happy, healthy, we have good food to eat, hubby has a good job to pay the bills. Can't ask for anything better. Just try to take one task at a time, one day at a time and if you can't get it all done today, then so be it. Give yourself a much needed break and don't worry about the things that are not important.

Routine, Routine, Routine!!! :)
My children are school-age now, but when they were very little (sniff, sniff) I read to them in the mornings when they first got up. Then breakfast. Then dressing and teeth brushing, then...out the door! Even if it was a nature hunt in our back yard...we got out in the sun to absorb our vitamin D!! :)
If you can, try to schedule an outing in the mornings. At this age, they are at their best in the mornings. Many malls have indoor play areas (also a good place to interact with other moms). Maybe you could check into an early education program once or twice a week for a few hours in the mornings.
When I shop for groceries, I always pick up a Suburban Parent's magazine and find inexpensive (or free) activities for my kiddos. The public library has storytimes divided into age groups...also a good way to meet other moms. Find things to do that peek their intrest...and save housework for naptimes... and if they won't sleep...then call it their quiet times. This will help you to get into their little heads and see their world from their perspectives, and still know the house will get a little attention later on. Save "your time" for after they go to bed at night. If you have any energy left, it will give you something to look forward to during the day. Even though the burden is heavy....the time is fleeting. When they're off to school, you'll wish you could go back...(maybe for a day, j.k.)

Just do your best. If you try to do everything, you'll end up doing nothing well.

I give myself 2 or 3 blocks of time during the day to clean/tidy. The rest of the time is for my kids. They're only little for such a short time. My oldest is already going to kindergarten next year and I feel like I just brought her home yesterday!

I've always wanted to be a SAHM, and I really enjoy it. Yes, some days my kids drive me a little bonkers, but I could not fathom not being with them all day. I feel blessed and lucky that I get to be with them, and I really try to keep that feeling all day.

I think it is important to carve out some 'me' time. Otherwise you can begin to feel like your children are running over you and you have lost your purpose and being.

It is also important to treat your time home with them as a job. I set up goals for myself with 'deadlines' I have to meet. If I don't, things don't get done.

I also try to establish a routine. I always start a load of laundry right when I get up. I am now trying to get all beds made before we leave the house...still working on that one.:)

I also find classes or mom's groups to do activities with. It's important to get out of the house and do things.

Good luck....certainly the hardest job you won't ever get paid for with money!

I wonder the same thing. At times I feel like I'm going crazy. Nap time is the only thing keeping me sane as well as a earlier bedtime. I have a 14 month old who is very inventive with her entertainment. Usually requiring a lengthy clean up. I'm having the same frustrations right now. My husband works full time and goes to school full time. So I'm home with my kids all the time without a break. It's exhausting. If you ever need to talk to someone, send me a message. 8-)

Set up a routine.

example:
7 Breakfast
9 playtime/art
10:30 snack then nap
12 lunch
2 nap
4 snack
6 dinner
7:30 bath and bedtime

I also signed up for Gymboree at that time. It was a scheduled class once a week with moms who had children the same age as mine. Good to have a scheduled class to make sure you get out once a week at least and have other moms to talk to. My daughter is 3.5. We no longer go to Gymboree, but we do meet up with the moms and kids from there still. The kids are really bonded as I am to the moms.

As for cleaning, make it fun. I would make the beds and then put my daughter on it for morning stretch time, stretching her little arms and legs and then rolling her around on the bed. I would throw the laundry on top of her and fold around her.

Snack when they snack. Nap when they nap!!! :)

Good luck!

I am not a SAHM but check out these polls that give some great responses in the comments and it may help you..good luck mama!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/1849?utm_campaig...

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/meditate?utm_campaig...

Ever thought of joining a Mom's group? I'm from California, and didn't know anyone when I moved to Texas. That's where I've met all of my friends. You may want to consider either a MOPS group, or I used meetup.com. There are tons of playgroups on there. Otherwise, this is what my schedule looks like with 3 1/2 year old twins and an 8 month old baby.

Mon: karate
Tues & Thurs: preschool
Wed: either Chic Fil A or Mc Donalds for lunch/playground
Friday: errands

I get out of the house almost everyday. Otherwise, I'd go NUTS!! I clean while everyone naps. If my older two don't nap, they still go in their room for quiet time. Good luck. Motherhood isn't easy :)

I wonder the same thing! I usually clean on weekends...but having the house a mess during the week is very frustrating, I know! I really have no time, my husband is in residency so he is barely home and I never get a break because by the time he is home the baby is already asleep. It's hard!

Hi M.. You have some great responses, so I will just summarize or add.
Routine
Outside each day
me time
sitter once a week??? if you can afford
one nite a week or two -- dad babysits so I can go out (for a walk, meet a friend etc.)
dad has household tasks as well -- trash, clearing dishes.
dad tries to do bath and story routine so I can get a small break each eve.
can you afford a maid once every few weeks to do heavy cleaning?
can you have groceries delivered?
2 x's a day (not pc but..) for 20 - 30 mins -- an educational video. cost/benefit -- I get a small break and am a more relaxed momma. No child was ever hurt from sesame street or leap frog :)

I'm 8 yrs with 3 kids.As of right now my home is trashed I have toys from the back door all the way to the front door i'm either jumping across to get out of the toy's way or kicking them.I'm not this way but I have had it, over the weekend I was gone for severeal hrs at a time I had to go shopping for our food, household items & new clothes for myself in which I usually don't leave my kids with hubby but this time I did just to take a break wrong choicen ow on day 3 & it is getting worse by the minute..I take great pride in my home that if a visitor stopped in it was clean & clear of clutter but now after the weekend i'm a wreck I can't believe my hubby let this happen on Sunday now he is going to have to deal with it when he walks in from work till I get the energy & want to pick it all up again.
I'm not going to get up get dressed to have no place to go the kids will shower at the end of the day my schedule is already set I know it & stick to it i'll shower get dressed hair & makeup done on the days I leave the home.
We eat at regular times,shower at regular times,leave the same time for school & home the same time I will also not leave the house after my son comes home from school unless it is for out to eat a school function or an invite that we must attend it becomes to much of a rush to eat shower homework & down time before bed.
As of right now my kids are playing making a mess while i'm on the computer there are days you just have to let go & today is one of them that I don't want to battle the life of a sahm is no fun at times but it has to be done
Just wanted to add my showers I use no light only candle light to help me unwind it is helping...

i play with ym daughter and when she is asleep or after he dad is off work then i do what i need to do

I don't I am going to check myself into a mental ward for a vacation. Lol just kidding but there are days I feel like that! I have been a SAHM for 4 years. I have a 4 y/o and 2y/o at home. My 4 y/o goes to daycare mwf so I can have a little break. I live in a small town grew up here and there is nothing to do. So what I do is every friday I get a sitter and go to the local VFW and sit and drink a root beer and converse with people as I know everyone there because it being such a small town and I grew up here. Its nice to get out and just be around people other than SO and kids. Its my get away. As I type my living room is a disaster and my laundry is piled to the moon. I also have a 7 y/o daughter and a 6 y/o step son and SO is a personal trainer and everyone seems to change clothes lots of times a day. I had myself so upset last year always running around cleaning I started seeing a therapist. She convinced me Its ok to have toys all over and the house does not have to be perfect.

be sure to make use of nap/ quiet times.. even if they dont nap, they can play quietly in their beds/ cribs so you get something of a break. I clean while baby eats in the highchair, vaccum with her in the playpen (she wants to help tho & whines to be set free to assist with the vaccuum!) I dont always feel so sane either, Im all over the place, distracted, and usually have several things on the go at once... Im trying to move this weekend, and cant get it together to pack, and I just know its going to be a nightmare!!! but they grow up so fast... (my oldest just turned 21! whoa!!!) try to relax!

Clearly you are not alone!
Clean during nap/quiet time. Make a game of cleaning w/ the kids. Fold laundry on the floor while the kids play.
When hubbie has bedtime/bath duty, use that time for chores so you can relax with him when he's done.
I'm usually done eating before my family, so I get a head start on cleaning the dinner dishes while they finish.
Mom's Night Out once a month is fabulous!
On most days I tried to have some activity planned that got us out of the house: play outside, go to a park, attend story time at the library, take a family music/gymnastics/dance class, schedule a playdate w/ friends.
Breathe! :-)
Enjoy,
J.

MamaPedia of course!!

I have 3 at home (one's in school, but he can trash just as good as the rest when he gets home!). My husband has learned to live with the fact that when he gets home, dinner is ready but the living room is trashed with toys. If he wants it done, he can do it, but otherwise I will take care of that and the kitchen after the kids go to bed.

I also have a 10 month old 'clinger'. I don't know what to do with that just yet because while my husband witnesses it, he says the kids just don't act like that when he is home alone with them. We discipline the same so I don't know why. Maybe just because they don't see him as often.

While he used to complain about 'what I do', I left him alone with all 3 children (off and out of school) for four days while I went to my hometown for a funeral. He called everynight and wondered how the hell I did/do it everyday for the past three years. When I got home, I just laughed and started picking up the kitchen!

I can't really help you as I feel the same way some times! Hubby just took a more demanding job and is out earlier and home later, so it feels like it is all on me, and it feels like a lot! But - the things that I do that feel helpful are:
the kids do clean up time with me after dinner, before fruit and treat (usually a few small graham crackers), so I am not stuck doing all the clean up by myself late at night when I am exhausted and resentful. (my kids are 4 and1). When the baby is fussy and wants to be held and I need to do something (like cook dinner) I wear him on my back with the Ergo carrier. I guess I am lucky that he can do a fair amount of independant play...and only unrolls the toilet paper sometimes!

I live for nap / quiet time! I read the newspaper alone while I eat my lunch, clean up the kitchen, and then lie down for 15-30 minutes. It helps me to clear my mind and have a little rest. After nap / nursing / snack we end quiet time (for the big one - I let her watch TV while the baby naps. She is too big to nap, but she really likes her quiet time). I don't have any advice about cleaning, I am trying to figure out a structure to get it done, myself. The other thing I do is plan all our meals for the week on Sunday night, and then grocery shop on Monday mornings. Wed am is the library story time, Thursday I try to do something for the baby, and Friday is my errand day.
It gets me out of the house, and keeps me feeling organized, so at least I know when I will have a chance to get things done.
Good luck, and try a moms club - it will help you to meet with other moms weekly!

Some days are harder than others!! That's my mantra b/c otherwise I wouldn't even be close to sane! ;) My kids are 3 and 16 mos and my house is always trashed. I always try and do a quick 5 min pick up before my husband walks in so that it doesn't look quite so bad, but that doesn't always get done! I often feel like you have to choose between being a good mom and a good housekeeper when you stay at home, I usually go the mom route, but you have to find a balance. Luckily my husband is pretty understanding and doens't say too much about things, but my goal is to always have dinner on the table and the rest is flexible. We've had many rolls of toilet paper that I've rolled back together and it works just fine!

A lot of people recommend cleaning, etc. while they nap, but honestly, I would just sit down and watch some TV or read a book. I used to try and clean then too but now I just sit down. This doesn't always work out, but a lot of days it does. I usually fold my laundry during this time as it's mindless and I can still watch a show or something. You have to give yourself a break and not feel bad about it.

Lastly, I recommend finding a couple of mom's with kids close in age and doing play dates. I get together with my mom friends at least 1-2 times/week and it's a big stress reliever. Plus, if you're hosting then you feel obligated to at least get a modicum of housework done! ;)