"Redoing" Kindergarten?

My daughter's birthday is 8/29

I sent her barely turning 5 and have always regretted it. I wanted her to repeat k, and they said no no she's not behind enough which was true, she did fine academically and there was tons of kids who did worse but she was working in her butt off to keep up and socially it was a disaster. The school wouldn't hold her back. We went on to 1st grade and the same thing but things got worse again they wouldn't hold her back. She didn't qualify for any special help, classes or title one nothing but she was struggling to keep up. Public schools are really weird about holding children back I think it looks bad on their end or something.

By 2nd grade this year it was apparent she was miserable. Her grades slipped, she lost many friends, and hated school. I had to pull her out and switch her to a private school to do this but I put her back a grade. She is the happiest girl in the world now. She is no longer the shortest, she's on the same maturity level, she's ahead academically you name it. My child loves school.

So my advise to you be really careful sending a child to Kindergarten with a August birthday especially a boy. I thought my child was mature and could handle it. She is very bright and very mature but compared to the kids a year older than her and that's what they were she wasn't. You put her with kids her age and she is mature and bright.These kids will be a year old, a year more mature and their little brains have a year on your child your child may always be catching up to them or always one step behind them. I won't even get started on the challenges we've had with sports teams and athletics. Noone wanted to give her a change or the time of day because she is small and young. She always had to prove herself. She couldn't relax in the classroom or on the playing field because of her age and size she was judged.

I agree with all the other moms--if you are in doubt, do not send him this year. He can go to pre-school this coming year, or do more activities at home w/you. I am from WI, and I know some school districts there have "Jr. Kindergarten" the year before actual Kindergarten.

Also, I don't think many people know this, but the law in MN for compulsory school attendance is actually 7 years old, so you don't even have to make this decision for a couple more years.

If you are already considering holding your son back another year I would find a preschool geared toward kindergarten readiness for this fall. It is hard on a child when they get held back as they see all their friends going to first grade and they will wonder why they don't get to go with their friends. Children already start to form special bonds with their friends at this age. I'm still good friends with those I went to kindergarten with and I'm 38 years old.
I have a friend who did had her son repeat kindergarten this year (at another school) and she does regret it as her son is bored. He was on the smaller side with a late August birthday so they made the decision to have him repeat. They struggled with this decision as well. I think it would be better to not send him instead of having him repeat it. There are a lot of great preschools out there so just look for one that has older children. Good luck to you.

From what I've heard from principals and former kindergarten teachers is that they do not want kids to "redo" kindergarten unless absolutely necessary. It is psycologically (sp) much harder for kids to "fail" kindergarten then it is to wait a year to start.

Minnetonka has a program called Ready Start that is like kindergarten but it gives parents the option to move them to 1st grade the next year or move them to an actual kindergarten class. Your school district may have something similar.

Hi C.,

I, too, struggled with this decision when my daughter (bday is 8/13) turned 5. Everyone told me to wait a year, but academically and socially she seemed ready to go. We went to orientation/screening and she had a blast. She is in 1st grade now and at the last parent/teacher conference we were told she is excelling and doing very well. Her reading is at the level they desire by the end of the year and she has added a lot of detail to her writing. Only problem she has, is sometimes talking to her friends too much to get independent work done! (which we are working on) Our son, on the other hand, we will probably wait to enroll until he is 6. (bday is July) His speech and social skills are still not where they should be and is having a hard time getting the basics (like what starts with "a"?) down. He is currently in pre-school and his teachers have been great in communicating what he does well and where he still needs improvements. We have found this very helpful. If you can, I would suggest a pre-school and having meetings with the teachers is beneficial in helping to make that decision. I truly believe that each child is different and only you as a parent can really decide if they are ready to take that step. I wish you the best of luck in making your decision! =)

This is so ironic! My husband and I were just talking about when he went to kindergarten and ended up being "held back". His birhtday is 8/31 and he probably just wasn't ready to go but the affect of being held back has stayed with him his entire life. If you have any question in your mind that your son may not be ready, do him a favor and wait a year. I wish his parent's would have been able to see into the future and realize that the best thing would have been to wait a year but hind-sight is 20/20. Don't want to scare you but down the road, holding him back yourself vs. the stigma of him not moving ahead with the rest of the kids will pay dividends.
Good luck!
A.