Kindergarden or Not?

I sent my oldest son (May birthday) to kindergarten when he turned 5. I sent my youngest daughter (July birthday) to kindergarten when she turned 5, despite the fact that she had only been in the country 4 months and was still learning English and the pre-school teachers didn't think she was ready (she was).

I was sent to kindergarten as a 4 year old (Sept birthday), and my sister (August birthday) the next year as a 5 year old.

I'm not sure what the concern is about sending a 5 year old to kindergarten. It sounds like he's ready and willing, and a love of learning/excitement over school is a bad thing to stifle, particularly in a boy.

My oldest daughter was held back one year (her English didn't pick up as quickly as her sister's, and she hadn't had *any* school in Russia). So she was a year older than her peers, and turned 18 her junior year in high school.

Seriously consider the problems of trying to manage an 18 year old senior in high school. It's not just about "now", it's about the future, and trying to control a teenager who is sure they are an adult and can make their own decisions now can lead to unpleasant consequences.

If the preschool teachers do not think he is ready, I would listen to them, they have been around enough kids to know what to look for. My 12 year old son was in the same situation, and we waited, it was the best thing we ever did for him. Boys mature socially slower than girls, most of the time. If you put them in school before they are ready, they will usually end up hating school and then you will have 13 years of struggle because of it.

We have a mid-July boy and decided to wait. Best decision we ever made. His teachers thought he wasn't ready. He was smart enough, but just had some social skills that needed fine tuning. Like always wanting to be first and a few other things of that nature. The best advice we were given was to look and see are we allowing him to be the best that he can be? The gift of time is the best gift we could give him and if one more year in preschool will allow him to suceed better in School then give it to him.

We were still hesitant and he had a sad beginning of the next year when his friends went to K and he didn't, but there were other boys in his class that waited a year and so it was alot easier.

This year in K he is doing exceptional!! He listens well, is the best behaved boy in his class, overall very ready to learn. He has some boys in his class that are very young (they would be the summer birthdays that didn't wait) and there are so many issues with them not sitting still or being mature enough to follow instructions. Personally I wouldn't do it any other way.

Other things that helped our decision process was that they will not hold kids back from K except in extreme cases, it is far harder for them emotionally to be held back in K then in Pre-K. Another thing was that the director of our preschool did not hold back her son, he struggled through school the whole time and hated it. When he got to college he was so not ready for it he failed. We decided we would rather pay for another year of preschool then another year of college :) One last thing was that boys mature about 6 months behind girls.

Good luck, it's a tough decision.

I will have this issue in a few years as well since I have an August baby. I'm already debating about what we will do! It's such a tough call!

I have a friend with a July boy who will also be five this summer. He is in 4K this year and seems to be doing well. She has been debating about having him repeat 4K or sending him on to kindergarten. She doesn't feel that they do much academic work in 4K - it's more just structured playtime, so she's pretty much decided that she'll send him on to 5K. If he needs to repeat that before going on to first grade, she figures at least he'll be repeating a year where he'll get some academic instruction rather than just playtime.

On the other side of things, I have a brother who was born in July. He didn't go to any 4K or preschool, and my mom waited until he was six to start kindergarten. He really excelled in school and is still doing very well.

I've heard that since boys mature less quickly than girls, they are more likely to start a year later in this situation. However, you know your son best, and you're really the only one who can make the final determination as to whether he's ready or not. Good luck!!

As a mom to 2 July babies, I sympathize with your dilemma. I don't know that there is a "wrong" answer to this. Everyone I have ever talked to that has faced this same situation felt that they made the right decision, so it seems that it will likely work out no matter what you decide. I sent one of my July babies and held one back and I think that it was the right decision for both of them. If you are really worried about it, you could consider doing K at a different place than he would otherwise go to, and if he needs to repeat K, then do it at the school in your district. He won't feel "held back" since it would be a new school and new friends. Lots of people do K somewhere different (we did for several of the kids since we wanted full day K and it wasn't offered where we lived at the time) than the one in their district. I will say one thing about Pre-K screening - my youngest "passed" the screening and he is now classified as developmentally disabled. They told us that he only had a speech impediment :) The people that are spending time with him - you, your husband, his pre-school teachers, etc., are really the ones with the most accurate information.

Good luck no matter what you decide!

Hi K.,

This was a hard one for me. My son is an August baby and I really went back and forth with this. After numerous friends (who are teachers) encouraged me to hold him back a year, my husband and I finally decided to do just that. The reasoning I got from my friends is that boys tend to not have the socializing skills down yet.

Another way of justifying it to myself is if he would have had a Sept birthday he would have had to wait another year anyways.

He is now in Kindergarten and doing so WELL!!! I still have my reservations and the teachers are always reassuring me that we did the right thing!

Good Luck!
E.

I was in a similar situation. My daughter birthday is 8/29 preschool teachers also said don't send her. Well I didn't listen and sent her. She has done fine academically, but emotionally and maturity level is just horrible. I just pulled her out of 2nd grade 3 weeks ago and put her back in 1st grade so she will be with kids her age and won't be the youngest. My daughter is a leader and it's hard to be the leader when your the youngest, shortest etc. Like I said she was keeping up academically she is reading at a 4th grade level but she just wasn't on the same page as the other kids. By the time she got to 2nd grade was when it was really apparent this was a problem, she lost alot of friends things like that. Just a FYI public schools won't let you hold your kids back like I did, they will just keep pushing them to the next grade and making them miserable. I had to put her in a private school to get her back to 1st grade where she absolutely happy and fitting in with the kids better.

My son is turning 5 in June and we are planning to send him to kindergarten in the fall. He has had his kindergarten screening and passed it. He is also a very active little boy and it also concerns me on how well he will do. I figure that he can go to kindergarten and if things don't go well he can always repeat it. Kindergarten is just an introduction to how school will be and getting them ready for it. I think if he's really excited about it you should send him. Maybe you can go with him on a tour of the school during school hours and see what the classes are like and if he'll like it there. We took a tour with my son and he LOVED the school and the teachers. Good luck in your decision. There is no right answer.

if there is any doubt and since he will be a young 5 when school starts, i would wait a year. i've also heard boys aren't always ready as soon as girls. (i have a girl but my brother was a may baby and still didn't start k'garten til he was 6-1/2). they expect alot more out of k'gartners these days,also. what we learned that year, the kids now have to know to be able to get in. maturity and social skills are even more important. if you do wait, put him in preschool next year so they can keep him going in the progress they started. there is no stigma with waiting and you need to do best for him. this is the beginning of his whole future! see what his teachers recommend you work on with him over the summer.

S. m

My oldest son also has a July birthday. We were in the same boat as you as to whether we send him to school at 5 or wait one more year. We talked to his preschool teachers and a few teachers in the school system. They all told us to wait with boys who have summer birthdays. We were both torn and went back and forth right up until the kindergarten registration deadline. In the end we did wait. We will be enrolling him in kindergarten this fall after he turns 6. This past school year we enrolled in him a 4 day preschool program (meets only half days) and it was the best thing for him (Our kindergarten program is now everyday all day which is a big step for little kids too). He has excelled so much in this last year. He has also matured more. When we're driving, he will spell out road signs to me asking what they spell. He's very eager to start reading and learning more. It's huge advancements from last year at this time when he was 4 1/2. I also looked at it this way: If you start him in school at 5yrs old, all of the other kids will start turning 6 in Sept and he just turned 5 a few months before. That's could be up to a 10month age gap between him and his classmates. To me that's a huge age difference. We are so happy that we waited the extra year. Hope this helps you. It's a very tough decision and I completely understand what you're going through. Best of luck to you!!

You've already heard a ton of opinions (or, the same opinion tons of times.) I wanted to offer these reading suggestions if you're wanting to know some of the "why"

http://www.singlesexschools.org/links-books.htm

_Boys Adrift_ addresses many of the issues facing boys and young men and explains some of the "failure to launch" syndrome.

_Why Gender Matters_ really gets into structural differences in the brain and why boys and girls learn differently. It also spells out the reasons why it's best for boys to wait, and why it has become so common.

I am a Kindergarten teacher with 13 years of experience. From what I have seen over the years I would advise you to wait. Especially with a boy whom the preschool teacher says is not ready. You are not just making a decision for 1 year but rather a decision that will affect 13 years of his education. My own son was a Sept. birthday and I could have early entranced him but I chose to wait.

Over the years I have NEVER had a parent regret holding a child until they were six but I've had lots of parents who went at 5 say, "I wish I had given him the gift of one extra year".

P.S. The preschool screening is not a Kindergarten readiness screen...it is simply to catch kids in the system who need early childhood intervention.

Hi K.,

I do not have a boy with a summer birthday but know many moms who have also struggled with this decision. The advice that we've heard through preschool and ECFE is that you will never regret holding him but you may regret sending him. It's important to think long term through his schooling and remember that he will be very young throughout his whole school career if you send him. Every mom I know in this situation is deciding to wait. There are 4 day a week preschool programs out there for kids who will be five by fall and not in kindergarten.

Good luck making your decision!
-B.

We had the same question when my son turned 5 - whether to send him to Kindergarten or not. He is also a summer baby but we had the added complication of 2 sisters who share his birthday (he is a triplet). The girls were more than ready to start Kindergarten at age 5. He was very energetic and in fact was diagnosed w/ ADHD even prior to Kindergarten starting. Everyone we spoke to from the school counselors, teachers, resource teachers, etc all said the same thing - any academic advantage you gain from holding him back for a year levels out by the 3rd grade. We sent him to school with his sisters at age 5. He is now in 4th grade and is doing great. I think ultimately, it is your call. Trust your gut instincts. If you think that he will do fine and as he matures will grow into school, then go for it.

As a teacher I think that you as a mom know best. If you feel that your child is not ready for kdg. then he is not. I see many, many kids come into my classroom and they spend a very long time trying to catch up to their classmates, because they were not ready to enter kdg. Trust your gut on this one.

I would wait- I also have two that were summer babes and yes- they were very ready , beyond ready academicly. they are currently both in gifted extended classes. study wise - they are doing great- maturity it has been had- especally on my son as he plays sports with age cut offs and ends up with the boys in the grade lower. I think if I did it again- I would wait for my son-

I think if there is even a doubt, I would keep him back. It is far easier to get past the school bus issue you face now than it will be to try to get him up to speed in the years to come or have to hold him back later in school. I have an August bday. My parents did not hold me back in Kindergarten and it caught up in 1st grade in reading and math. My teacher advised my parents at that point to hold me back a year so they did (even tho I passed the 1st grade). I'm glad they did b/c I didn't struggle with school after that, in fact I excelled in math tremendously! It would have been less of deal for me if they did it before I started school and made friends. Good luck!

WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!! My kids all have summer birthdays and did not/will not start kindergarten until they're 6. Kids with summer birthdays are either going to be the oldest or youngest in their class...much better to have that extra "leg up". I have not ever regretted sending my kids when they were 6 as opposed to 5. I think it's especially important for boys because of their maturity level.

I have been told repeatedly that boys who have summer 5 yr birthdays are not ready for kindergarten. a 'magic' age that kindergarten teachers like for boys to start is about 5yrs, 7 months. Boys are not educationally or socially ready at a young 5. I would definately hold him back. I worked in a kindergarten room for 7 years and saw 1st hand what boys behaved like when they werent ready! I went thru the same thing with my son. he passed the exam at 3 and a half...he turned 5 in january and will go to kndg in the fall.

As excited as your little boy is, I would highly recommend not sending him to kindergarten quite yet. If his pre-school teachers don't think he is ready, I would not push it, even though it is what he wants. Also, trust me, from experience (different story, contact me if you want to know that one lol), as much as your little one says he wants to ride the bus, and is super excited about it, he could, and most likely will, change his mind when that bus pulls up to pick him up and carry him away from Mommy!! Good luck Mom, and I hope everything works out for you and your little guy!!

K.,
I as well have a son born in August could have started school this past fall but went to registration spoke to the kindergarden teacher and she told us that parents with a summer baby expecially boys should wait that extra year because boys mature later than girls. I found since we chose to keep him home he is maturing a great deal I think he will do well this coming year, my son will be going to a summer pre kindergarden class .
S.

I am a first grade teacher, and my advise would have been to see what his preschool teacher recommend. However, if they recommend another year, I would wait. The students who are recommended to stay back seen to have a hard time catching up as the years go by. You may want to enroll him and wait through the summer to see how he does. It is still early in the year to make a decision about next fall, but it might be better for him to wait than to push him into something he is not academically ready for.

If I had a boy with a summer birthday I would be real tempted to hold kindergarten off a year. If his preschool teachers were telling me he was not ready, there would be no question.

My parents held my brother back a year when it came to starting kindergarten. It was the best thing they could have done. He just was not ready to sit still and listen. The year did make a huge difference in his ability to adjust to the need to sit quietly for hours at a time.

I've been through it with a July birthday son. It is a difficult and individual decision, but I would put a lot of weight on the opinions of his preschool teachers. We decided to wait a year. Our son is now a very successful 12-year-old 6th grader and I think it was one of the best decisions we ever made as parents. In our school district you can register for kindergarten, but then withdraw them up until school starts. If you can do that in your school district that would give you more time to decide and see how he does this spring and summer. We had our son triple-enrolled--he was enrolled in kindergarten and two different preschools. We made our final decision in the middle of August and withdrew his kindergarten registration. To help us decide we met with preschool teachers, sent him to a summer school program for pre-K and met with his future principal. In terms of making your decision the emotional and self-help skills and ability to sit still and listen are more significant than academic readiness. Our son was more than ready academically, but lacked some of the other skills. If he doesn't go to kindergarten next year can you get him excited about a new or special preschool? For our son's final year of preschool we sent him to a new one that was just for kids preparing for kindergarten. It was perfect for him and really helped him work on those skills he needed. Good luck and feel free to send me a message if you have specific questions.

I just read through the other responses and wanted to add something--I've been through the kindergarten experience twice with my two boys and kindergarten is no longer just to "get ready" for school. Kindergarten has become very academically rigorous and kids are expected to be reading by the end of the year. They also do simple math worksheets and other academic activities. When I was in kindergarten 40 years ago we played, made homemade peanut butter, colored, had nap time, etc. That is NOT true anymore.

I know I am repeating what a lot of other moms have said, but I wanted to let you know my experience. My son's bday is in August and we were in the same situation as you. Our pre-K teacher said he was mentally ready for school, but socially could use another year. Immediately we decided to hold him back, because the teacher sees a child and can compare them with other children his age and can gauge things easier than a parent might be able to. It was ABSOLUTELY the best thing we could have done. Our teacher told us she would rather see an older student excelling than a younger one struggling.

See how your round up goes. Age wise he's good to go. You know him best behaviorally. Plus you can also repeat K without stigma. I was an early start (4 yrs / Oct bday) and wasn't physically ready though I was academically ready. My mom kept me in K the next year (when I would have started anyway) and it was a big difference. Your son has the benefit of preschool too, but in the end make the decision on what works best for your son. You want him to be successful in school and to enjoy it. (I'm a teacher btw)

K.,
I haven't read all the advice but wanted to share some objective info on research about the age of kids entering school. Malcolm Gladwell, a well respected author of at least 3 books (and I think from Harvard) has a new book titled Outliers. He researched very successful people (Bill Gates for example) to find out why they were so much more successful than others. One thing he studied was the age at which kids started school and the kids that were older tended to do better. It's an interesting book!
C.

Is he in Pre-school?? That is a great way to prepare. The gradual introduction to school is a great "in-between". Good luck.

I am going through the same thing right now with my daughter. Her teacher is saying send her, but I just dont know if she is ready.
I was always the youngest kid in my class and it was tough. I was a B/C student, but think if I had waited another year, I easily could have been an A student.
A friend of mine, who has a July child, is holding him back because she asked a lot of people about it. The ones who did hold their child back, were greatful they did. The ones who did not, regretted every second of it.
I say, go with your gut. If you are questioning yourself, hold him back. My only problem with holding my daughter back is I do not want her to be labeled the "child who was held back". I think it is so common these days though that it hopefully wont be an issue.
Another friend of mine had the suggeston of putting them in Kindergarten in another school district. If they seem to excel, next year you can put him in your school district in 1st grade, if not move him to kindergarten in your district.

As a parent who sent their summer birth child to school at an early age I would advise against it especially since his preschool teacher thinks he is not ready. I did send mine against advise and think he would have been more prepared had I waited another year. He is now 15 and is still frustrated with school because he can't keep up. Mentally he excels at the school work but another year would have certainly been socially more ready had I waited another year. So I would listen to your preschool teacher and hold him back it will certainly benefit him in the long run.

I have a daughter with a July 15th birthday and they did not want to send her to school. I did and she excelled and was a national honor student in high school. I also have a son with an Aug. 13th birthday and I put him in kindergarten at age 5, he did fine until the spring and then fell behind. We moved to a new town and I put him in kindergarten again and he did just great. Plus he was one of the older children in his class.

Every parent and teacher I ever spoken to has advised to wait until another year. It will not directly affect them now it will hit him when he starts 7th grade.

It was said very simply to me once by a kindergarten teacher "you are giving you and him a gift of a year to mature and to excel and you will never regret it."

Good Luck -
Mother of three boys.

Hi there, I come from a family of psychologists and child psychologists and teachers......hold him until he's 6....especially if his teachers are suggesting to do so.....and because he's a boy...who generally mature a little slower than girls. No one ever regrets holding their kid back....but I know lots of parents who are struggling with kids that are the youngest in the class. My daughter is an early August birthday and is now in 2nd grade. Her grades are great, she's confident and a definite leader. Studies show that younger kids may do ok in elementary school but when they reach 7th & 8th grade they can struggle with academics and especially socially. Give him the benefit of the extra time.....it will help in in all aspects as he grows up....even with sports. B.

I can only respond with what happened in family. My grandson turned 5 in May and his preschool teacher also recommended that he stay back a year, however, his parents chose to keep him with his preschool mates and sent him to K at five years old. He's now 7 and in 2nd grade and is an excelling student. I believe what makes the difference is the time his parents spend with him consistantly helping and monitoring his work. Hope this helps. Good Luck on your decision and remember it's YOUR decision, not anyone else's.

Our daughter had turned 5 Aug 25th and with the Sept 1 cut off we held her back a year and put her in a all day pre-K program, we are so glad we did! She is now a 1st grader and doing great, she was always a little quiet and petite , she now reads at a almost 3rd grade level. Our son who turned 5 last July 16th is outgoing and social and seemed ready so we sent him, we wish now that we would have held him back as well. He is struggling with reading and is very slow to finish his work and has a hard time behaviorally at times...I say trust your instincts, you know your child the best and every child is different.

It is a hard decision to make. We have a daughter with an August birthday. We did send her, because she was "ready". She knew her ABC, etc. She is now in 11th grade. If I had it to do over.... I would have waited 1 year. She gets good grades in school, but she has struggled socially the entire time. She just wasn't as mature as the rest of the class. Now boys and girls are different on that matter, but as they get older things really make a difference. She was the last to drive, the last to get a job, etc. My older daughter's boyfriend has a Sept. birthday and started school anyway. He, himself, says that he always felt like he didn't fit in. He never had many friends. Again, he is very smart and has no issues with his classes, it is more social issues.

Good luck making your decision.

I have a boy that was born in July also. He is 14 yo now. They said he was ready for kindergarten so we sent him. We found out that even though he seemed ready academically and socially, he wasn't ready. He didn't want to learn, he wanted to just play. We and the teachers could not find anything that would motivate him to learn. Finally he woke up the first day of fifth grade and is doing great. He reads slower than others but comprehends more than most. He is alittle slower doing math problems but is more accurate than most. I don't regret sending him. I also have a 17 yo who has a Sept birthday and was made to wait. She was definitely ready if not over ready and after a while found things to be sooooo easy she started slacking. We also are dealing with her going to be 18 almost her whole senior year and are wondering how we are going to make sure she stays in school and graduates but still live with us and follow our house rules. I believe this is an important issue to consider. My daughter usually listens but seems to be getting the "soon to be 18" itch/mind set that "I can do anything I want". I feel it is actually better that a child be challenged alittle to succeed than to find things too easy and become lazy and careless. This is from our personal experiences. There is no right or wrong to this question. Your decision will be do you want to work harder with your child at a younger or older age.

I am a teacher at an education based childcare center. We take care of children aged 6 weeks through school age. Every year we get those same questions from a paretn who is unsure. This is what experience tells us: Boys tend to be slightly behind girls in emotional/social development. If his preschool teacher doesn't think he is ready, he probably is not. It is not just the academics that children have to deal with at school. Sure it is fun to ride the bus, but usually kids who a re younger in a class with children who could be almost a year older have a really tough time. It might not even come out in kindergarten, but will as time goes by. My oldest daughter is July 4th birthday and had I known then what I know now-I would have kept her behind. She was an honor student when she graduated-the academics were never a problem--socially she had a rough time.

My son also has a July b-day and at the time his preschool teacher did not believe he was ready socially to be in kindergarten. We decided to take her advice and enrolled him in another year of preschool. He had changed so much over the summer that she couldn't believe it. He is now in 4th grade and does very well in school. He is one of the older kids in his class but he grasps all of the concepts in his subjects much better. I feel that if we had put him in kindergarten a year earlier we might have had some issues. He doesn't get teased for being older either. Good luck with your decision.

I would say listen to the preschool teacher. They see kids of the same age every day, so they have a good idea of who's ready for kindergarten, and who's not. That being said, my older son's birthday is in July, and I sent him at 5. He started day care at 10 weeks old, and preschool at 3 years old, so he learned to socialize with other kids from a very early age, and seems to be able to make friends easily. He's very bright, and I think he would have been very bored, and gotten into trouble if we hadn't sent him to kindergarten when he was five. I struggled with sending him at five because he's small for his age, but he seems to have enough self esteem that it doesn't bother him that much, even now in third grade.

I'm a grandmother now, but let you tell me two stories---I had 2 August babies and one February baby. As I was stressing over this question with my first chid, a dear friend with a PhD in education observed that the research (this is now OLD research) suggested that the children who experienced the most problems socially, academically and emotionally were those that were 6 months or more younger than the average age of their class. Thus, what the pattern of classmates is now matters most. My father also reminded me that dating, driving and going off to college would be experienced with more maturity. Kindergarten is only the beginning.

That being said, everyone can't hold their kids. It's a tough decision!

I ended up holding both my August babies. (And both were so ready academically at age 5). I never regretted the choice---though who knows what would have happened alternatively? (I can certainly list their peers who had tough teen years and interestingly that small sample of kids were all young). The toughtest of my kids was my February guy who had no choice but to go at 5!

Good luck. Do your research then trust your gut!

PS....In order to cushion the disappointment of not going to "school", I found alternate preschool opportunities for both kids that made the year seem like real (prep) school!

I teach sixth grade at a middle school, and my experience is that many of the boys would have benefited from a delayed start to Kindergarten. They just have a much harder time "getting it together" at that age--the attention, the organization, the maturity (even the physical growth in some cases, which affects confidence)--all the things that you need in middle school, just aren't there for many of them. Yes, there are some girls, too (I'm not trying to stereotype), but the reality is most of them start adolescence sooner so the issues aren't as prevalent for them. Go with your gut, but I thought I'd throw in a long-term perpective.

in my opinion, if there is any hesitation, hold him back. its going to be MUCH easier for a kid to be ahead in some things, and adequate in others, than it is for him to be adequate in most things, and behind in some. do you know what i mean? its not going to matter what age your chid is, and hes not stupid if you hold him back. i have just always felt that its to the benefit of the child to perhaps be ahead in age and some skills, than be behind in any of them. some kids just arent ready, and thats ok. im sure your school must have some sort of ecfe/learning readines classes? he can still go to those, and do things age appropriate with other kids... but dont feel pressured to put your child in school if he is just not ready.

where i live, the schools are VERY pressured. the teachers need bodies in the classroom so they can have that extra money coming in. i dont know if sometimes they just push kids through who arent ready just so they keep that number? i know for a fact that its still possible in some schools to get through the entire k-12 and not have adequate skills for simple things such as reading!!! makes me so mad that instead of holding a kid back, they just push them through. and even with my own personal experience, i know its definatly possible to get through school and not have anywhere near adequate skills for college.

a child who is behind is going to be frustrated, and every subject will suffer in one way or the other. if he is ahead, great! yes, that might lead to boredom too.... i was bored until around the 8th grade, but socially i was behind.... so they didnt want to push me ahead a grade.

but really its up to you. these days you can pretty much have your child school any way you want, even if you choose homeschooling or something similar. its not an option for most working parents obviously, but its designed to follow your child's pace and not the govts.

sooo.... after that long schpeal - i would hold him back a year - and keep him active in the programs for learning readiness or whatever. i feel he would excel if he waits a year, where if he goes too soon, he might be frustrated.

good luck with your decision...

Since he would be one of the youngest in his class, (as a teacher) I would encourage you to send him to preschool again next fall, and hold off on kindergarten for next year. Trust his preschool teachers, they also want what is best for your son. I am guessing it would be less detrimental to him to start kindergarten a year later then to have to be held back in second or third grade, if he isn't able to keep up with his class. Good luck, I know it is a big decision. And you know your son better than anyone, so do what you feel is right!

Hello K.,

I have two boys (ages 8 and 7) and experienced a similar situation with my oldest, which then affected my youngest. Riley (8) was a March baby and so we didn't even think about holding him back but sent him when he was 5 (5 1/2 basically). He had been in a daycare that provided preschool activities and he was able to do everything required but the maturity just wasn't there. He ended up not passing the first year of kindergarten and had to repeat the year. He had a hard time making friends and taking on responsibility for the projects he needed to complete each day.
Kids are mean and he had to hear that he was left behind and must be stupid, etc...If I had had any inkling I would have held him back one additional year-just for the maturity level.
My younger one then got held back because we didn't want them in the same year. He did wonderfully with no issues. Now we don't know if he would have done that well anyways if he had went the year prior but I know it was all for the best for both of them.
In essence, my advice is to wait the extra year.
Kris

As the mom of 3 boys including a summer birthday, I've been there. I have yet to hear from 1 parent who regretted holding their summer birthday son back until the next year to start kindergarten. Different story with girls, but boys often seem to need that extra time - especially if teachers are seeing a reason to wait.

I am sure you have gotten plenty of input, but just in case you wanted one more- here goes! My son's b-day is in March. He to is very active (to put it nicely :) I decided to at home preschool for several reasons. After work we do things like jump rope and sing the ABC's and during lunch we count our peas. We also work on things like manners while eating and offer great incentives (like staying up an extra hour or getting more bed time stories) for sitting still for short times. I also read very easy books and point to each word while reading it. He stays at home with my husband and I have found that he is most wild when he is board. I was told that if he knows his alphabet and can sit still for reading books he will be OK. My husband was held back because he was a boy and then he was so board with school because he was always a head. I know everyone says to keep them back but I honestly believe that school with be a struggle no matter what. I would rather start getting it over now. I was told I had a leaning disability and I would be lucky if I could learn how to work a calculator! My parents fought with the school system all the way though. I got a apology at my high school graduation from the principal. I now have a great job at Mayo and am doing just fine. I think the key is to work with you kids all the time to keep them up to speed. Good luck in what ever you decide. Sorry it was so long! Kari L.

I say do it. He wants to go so let him. You have plenty of time during the summer to work on large motor. Take him for walks, play catch with him etc.

Hi-
THere has been alot of research that points to the fact that kids who start kindergarten later succeed in school - because they are older, they learn faster and are "better" students and this give them confidence and boosts their self esteem and so they go on to succeed. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. (The source I am thinking of is a NYT Magazine article).
At any rate, my son missed the cut-off and he will be a solid 5 (turns 6 in Oct) and I can tell that while he still loves to play at preschool, he is very excited to start kindergarten.
Good luck!

If there is ANY doubt, do him the favor, give him the BEST chance for success by allowing him to be one of the OLDEST in his class, not the youngest.

This is the easiest time of his life to give him this gift. It is technically possible to do later, but the longer you wait, the more factors that will enter in and the harder (read 'nearly impossible') it will be.

Putting him in situations for which he is not ready, risk 'burning him out' on school and creating reluctance to try and try again. If that happens, you set him up for all sorts of learning frustration which can lead to social frustrations as well. That boys mature at a later chronological age is not hearsay. It is research based fact.

Do him and yourselves a favor and let him be a child for at least another year.

Listen to the teacher. She is watching your son learn every day, sees him interact socially with the other kids, and will know best if your child is ready or not. There is nothing wrong iwth being the oldest kid in class. My youngest is in the same position - she just turned 5 in August and was SUPPOSED to go to Kindergarten but we decided against it. I would personally rather to give my child the opportunity to shine in their class and be top of the group versus taking the chance that my child struggles with any issues due to being the youngest. If you are torn - just wait.

Definitely not. I had the exact same situation where the preschool teacher suggested we wait (my son has a summer bday also), and he passed the kindergarten screening with flying colors and he wanted to go so bad and all of his friends were going to be in kindergarten. So I sent him and it's been a major stuggle since. He's in 1st grade now and needs extra help all the time. I'm sure he'll eventually catch up with everyone, but I wish I had waited. Esp with him being your first son, one more year at home would be fun. Those preschool teachers really know what they're talking about. Hope this helps.

K. - Hi there! I'm a licensed daycare provider and my best friend teaches 2nd grade - she taught Kindergarden for 5 years. In my expereince and hers, it would be in your sons best interest to wait another year. Boys especially who have summer birthdays seem to struggle if they go into kindergarden as a young 5 year old. Boys mature more slowly than girls so they are a bit behind in readiness anyway. You want your son to be successful and to enjoy Kindergarden to get a good foundation for the rest of his school years. If it was me, I'd listen to the teachers and wait for one more year. Then he's going to be ahead of the game when he goes to Kindergarden because he'll have just turned six and will have had another year of preschool to learn and to mature, preparing him well. Good luck! Hope that helps! K.

K.,
As a preschool teacher of 28 years, Some thoughts: Will another year of preschool make him more successful in the future. Do you want to send your son off to college or the work force barely 18 or 19. His preschool teachers have seen him alot more than the Kindergarten people that screened him. Trust your instincts, he's your child, you know him better that anyone. You will make the best decision you can.

Try signing him up for summer sports activities. If he is ready for kindergarten, his motor skills will come along. He will catch up with the other kids. The one thing to think about is when he graduates from high school he will be only 17, and start college as a young 18 yr old. If you hold him back this year he will mature a bit more but he will be almost a year older than his peers in kindergarten. I would start him this year, my son has a July birthday and did just fine in school.

K.,
I am a daycare provider and mother of 3 boys (12,3 and 17 mo). As someone who works with children I really think you should trust what his pre-school teachers are telling you. They get to see your son in a "school" environment and have lots of experience knowing if a child is ready to enter school. Also, my brother (now 26) has a July birthday and my mother started him in school just after he turned 5. Through-out his school years she always regretted that decission. He did ok but always struggled a little bit more than his class mates.

Good luck. A.

You have gotten some great advice so far! I agree that there is no 'wrong' way to go about this... Do what you feel is best for your son.

My daughter is an August baby and we are going to try preschool in the fall, she will only be 3 so only two half days a week. Minus the potty training she seems ready for 'school.' We are sending her to a private preschool so our worry is if we pay and she ends up not ready, we talked with the school and we only need to pay for the time she goes there.

My brother did repeat a year and he seemed to 'fit' in better both maturity wise and knowlage wise, kindergarten is a good time to repeat. I would give kindergarten a try and see of it goes, he might do really well!! If nothing else he just repeats.

Best wishes in your decision, I am sure whatever you decide will be 'right' for your son!