Kindergarten vs PreK

Hi,

I too have a 4 yo with a summer birthday and have decided to either keep her home next year and teach her myself or send her to pre-k for another year. In Pa kids do not have to start school until age 8, so even if I send my daughter to pre-k next year, I can start her in 1st grade the following year. Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade are not mandatory, but the child will be tested as all potential school students are, even kindergartners, and they need to meet certain criteria(IT is really easy to meet IMO). So you can keep him in pre-k next year and then decide if you want to send him to kindergarten or 1st grade the following year. But realizing that you could send him to first grade when he is 6 and if you feel he is ready may help you be more at peace with keeping him in pre-k one more year.

My older son has a July birthday, and it does make a huge difference. He was less socially mature, more impulsive, and less ready for academics than some of the other kids. He is very bright, so he held his own, but he felt like he was not as good or as smart as the other kids until second grade, when he really blossomed intellectually. And this was half-day kindergarten. My second son is in full-day K now, and it is so much more academic than half-day was just 4 years ago. I'm really glad he has a November birthday.

So, long story short - I think there are a lot of advantages to being in the top of your peer group rather than the bottom, age wise. I don't exactly regret starting my son when I did but it gave him some extra challenges that I wish he hadn't had to deal with.

Things to consider: are other parents waiting in your district? (the principal of your school should know the age of the kids and how many start at 6.) Is it a full-day program? How large are the K classes? (you will need to ask - average for school is usually not the same.) Is your son able to change gears from one task to another fairly well, that sort of thing? (his preschool teachers will know what skills they look for, so ask them too.)

This article is interesting: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/03/magazine/03kindergarten...

My son hsas a late June birthday. After much thought we decided to send him to prek. While he is a quick learner and we felt he could have handled the work, we had concerns about his social skills and confidence in himself. My husband has wondered if one day he will be bored with school because he is the oldest in the class. My response was that if that is the case I would rather fight to get him advanced a grade or put into enrichment or advanced classes rather than see him struggle and have to fight for special services to help him because he is behind. I have seen how my son has grown in the past year so I am thinking prek was a good step for him. Good luck with your decision.

I know you've had lots of responses, but this issue is one that I have experience with so I wanted to answer! My son has a late June birthday, and we were in your shoes exactly 3 years ago. His preschool teachers said, "oh, he'll be fine! He's really smart!" But my concern was not academic, it was whether or not he was ready for a more academic environment where he can't just play all day. I went against my instincts and it was the worst decision EVER! He did not have trouble academically, but he just was not ready for school. He still needed to be playing more than sitting. It was a disaster of a year. He knew that he didn't want to be there, and that only made things worse. He did have friends, but he acted out in ways that we'd never seen before from him. Our Spring conference with his teacher was basically just her telling us that she'd given up on trying to force him to do school work, and she just tries to keep him happy playing in a corner so he didn't disrupt the class. Unbelievable. The year did far more damage than good. It took him about a year to recover from the damage to his self-esteem and to trust a teacher again. We held him in Kindergarten for a second year (we were actually told that according to tests he could move on to first grade and be okay academically, but we really thought he needed to do K again) at a different school and he did great. He really just needed to mature another year.
My advice is to go with your instincts. You know your child best. Even if you can't articulate a reason, if you feel that he needs PreK then go that route. Choose a program that could work with him and challenge him academically, and he'll be fine. Good luck!

my son has an August birthday and we sent him to K when he turned five. He DEFINITELY was not ready!!! He ended up staying back in K for a second year. My advice is PRE K. K is much harder than you think - its not playing anymore it is work. Maturity and being a boy play a big part. The teachers at my sons school are very pleased with their recommendation and in the end our decision to keep him back for a SECOND year of K due to his maturity and social skills. It is your choice and everyone will give you advice and the pros and cons of each but good luck and my vote is Keep him in pre-k one more year!!!

Hi, K.:
the teachers role is to make sure kids are not picked on but protected while they are in school. If he is in pre-school and made friends, why change?

Just want to know. D.

Since you are on the fence whether to send him or not I would probably postpone the decision of holding him back or not. In my opinion Kindergarten is a much better program than pre-school so if he is going to do an extra year somewhere I would let him spend his time in kindergarten if needed. I would consider sending him to kindergarten but in the school you are not planning on using for first grade. That way you can wait and see how he matures over the next year. A lot can happen in a year and perhaps it will be more obvious what he needs academically and socially. If he is ready for 1st grade then send him if not let him do another year of kindergarten but in the new school where he will eventually attend 1st grade. This way it will still be something new for him and there will not be the stigma of being held back. If I were you I would probably want to leave my options open for now.
Good Luck!

I know the difficulty that you are going through. I struggled with that for two of my three sons. From everyone I talked with and what I have seen it would be to your son's advantage to hold him. I spoke with a number of teachers K, 1st and preschool as well as counselors and reading specialists. A K teacher who retired in 2007 said boys with a birthday June or later should wait. They compare themselves to kids who are sometimes a year older and get frustrated that they aren't as proficient as the older child. My youngest went to T-class and gained more confidence. His teacher has a son with a mid-July birthday and she held him. He is in the gifted program in third grade. Please also consider that the age difference most likely isn't an issue K-4th but starting 5th-high school is where it really becomes an issue. I didn't really appreciate when an award-winning teacher at our elementary school who taught K and now 1st told me that you never regret holding them but you may wonder if you send them ahead. She was absolutely right though. I sent a son who was premature, had some speech struggles and as a result struggles with reading. He had an April birthday so I sent him, sometimes I wonder if I should've. I have a son in K now who's birthday is 8/28. I held him and I have no regrets. I hope this information helps. I really empathize with what you are going through. It consumed my every waking moment for months, twice.

Many kids in our area who have summer birthdays do wait an extra year. Our school district has a T-1 class(transitional first) for those Kindergarteners who aren't quite ready for first grade. Kids with summer birthdays often are put into that class. However, my daughter's birthday is the end of June and she started K when she was five (she is 7). No one ever told me differently. She is one of the youngest and there are some kids who are a full year older than her. Do I notice a difference? Yes, my daughter is probably a little less mature than some of those kids. But, she has many friends, does well and seems pretty happy and confident. I often have trouble keeping up with her social life:)

The bottom line is that you have to go with your gut and talk to the preschool teacher about her recommendations.

Good Luck!

Hi K., It sounds to me, from reading your post, that you seem to be leaning toward keeping him in preschool for another year. I was a preschool teacher for a few years before having my daughter and I definitely see a benefit to an extra year of preschool, if necessary. Talk to your son's preK teacher. Set up a meeting at a time when the teacher can make herself free to only you. Let her know ahead of time what you want to talk about, so she is prepared to answer your questions. I, as a pre-K teacher always had a feeling as to whether or not my students were ready for Kindergarten or if I felt they would benefit from another year with me.

Also, some daycares and schools may have a program called Transitional Kindergarten. This program is formatted more like a typical Kindergarten program, but is for children who are not quite ready for it yet, whether it be because of age or development. We had the program at my daycare, but we are all the way in Pittsburgh, which is probably too far from you. Maybe you could call around and see if anyone has a program like that in your area.

Good luck!

As a former preschool teacher and a mom to a 4 year old with a summer bithday, I can understand your situation. We have decided to send our son to pre-k after a lot of thought. He's academically and socially ready, but immature. The decision is yours in the end, but listen to the teacher too. They see him in a different atmosphere. Good luck with your decision!

Having been a kindergarten teacher and having son who perfers playing one on one, I wanted to answer your question. My son's social skills improved a little in pre-k, but have improved more in kindergarten. Of course we really like his teacher, and feel we can talk to her with our concerns. If you enroll him in kindergarten, try to keep close contact with the teacher (especially the first couple of weeks), express your concerns, find out what she is noticing in the classroom, etc. While teaching I have seen children who should have stayed in pre-k an extra year. You really need to do what you think is best, but a good teacher will work with you and your son to adress all his needs, including social skills.

1st I have to say you know your son better than anyone here. I would send him to K, he may not have a social butterfly personality as I like to call it. My youngest does and I love it I don't. So if you are basing your decision off of that I say send him. If you are concerned about his not playing with other kids get involved and set up playdates for him.

Good luck in your decision.

Hi Kelly, I feel your pain. My daughter's birthday is September 16th, and only makes the cut off by exactly 2 weeks. This was something that plagued my mind from the minute I had her. I knew the day would come when I would have to make this decision for her. She attended nursery school for 2 years, and her teacher last year advised me that she didn't think my daughter was ready. She stated that it wasn't the accidemic aspect, but the maturity issue, which I was personally aware of. Being an elementary teacher turned stay at home mom I knew from experience that most of the students I had that were struggling fell into that late birthday category, but looking from the other side, I did not feel that continuing another year of preschool would have been beneficial. I ultimately decided to send her to kindergarten, which in our township is full day. It was an adjustment for her, but come conference time in November she was succeeding with flying colors! Her teacher expressed how far she had come since September I too had witnessed it. I had decided that sending her to kindergarten would be best, and if she did not do well I was going to opt for her to repeat or be put into a transitional first grade class. At this point I am no longer stressing out about my decision. She is doing well academically and socially and everything is pointing to sending her to first grade come fall. I could not be more relived that I decided to send her. What a waste this whole year would have been. Good luck with your decision.

I struggled with this for my two older daughters and imagine I will with my youngest as well. I ended up sending both to pre-K, and I am so glad I did. Yes, they were (and are) among the oldest in their classes, but that really doesn't seem to cause any problems (kids teasing, etc.). For my kids, they were both academically ready for kindergarten, but they needed that extra year to gain some emotionally. The oldest needed some more confidence in social settings and the second a little more emotional control. For what it's worth, both girls are smart and we do struggle a little with making sure they are challenged enough, but we work with the school and teachers to try to make sure they don't get bored. Also, I spend a lot of time with the kids at the school, both in the classroom and in extracurriculars, and it's shame how much some of the younger ones struggle and sometimes end up being labeled as "bad" just because they are not ready to be there. I will say that we have a full-day, more academic kindergarten and that definitely came into play with our decision. Had it been half-day, I probably would have sent the second one at 5. Bottom line is talk to your sons teachers and maybe some people who have kids in the district schools and then trust your instincts. Good luck!

Hi Kelly...100%, without a doubt, hold him one more year. My kids are in K an 2nd Grade so I have personally been able to witness the eccect of holding vs. not. The kids with the summer b-days that were held did SO wll. They were right there in the mix with the other kids and excelled all around. You could absolutely see a difference in the ones that were sent through and shouldn't have been. They were either the ones with discipline issues or the very timid and socially backwards ones who kept to themselves. Sadly, these kids weren't asked to playdates or to birthdays or anything. The other kids just didn't enjoy being around them. Of course this is not 100%-some kids do all right. But for the most part and in my experience they don't. And it sounds like your child would probably not either as you describe social skills and maturity issues.

My neighbor's son has a summer b-day in mid july and she held him. She has said that this is the best thing that she could have done. He went to Kindergarten confident and happy and has done so well ever since.

You will not regret holding him. You WILL regret sending him if he is not ready.

It sounds like you already know what you should do. :)

I think the emotional and social well being of our kids at this age is more important than the academics. Well, at any age really.

My mother taught 1st - 3rd grade for 25 years and one thing she found to be fairly constant was that the boys that were started in kindergarten on the young side of five ended up struggling more throughout their entire elementary school years. Of course this isn't a blanket statement about all young fives, but she said it was very common.

I think there is a huge benefit, especially for boys, to letting them wait a year. That extra maturity and improved social skills will help them through the rest of their school years.

My brother and sister in law started two of their boys with summer birthdays in K just after they turned 5 and both ended up being held back a year. One repeated kindergarten and one was in third grade but half way through the year moved back into second grade. They are both doing so much better now, both academically and socially.

Just my thoughts. I really think you have to follow your gut with stuff like this. I'm just glad my boys have November and February birthdays so I'm not facing this kind of dilemma.

Best of luck to you!

My daughter has a November birthday so I did not have a choice. The way I see it is that I would rather have her be older and more mature. Yes the work is beneath her but I would rather see it be easy than to have her struggle.

From what I have heard, the trend seems to be for parents to delay starting kindergarten not for academic reasons, but to give their child an advantage when it comes to athletics. (think scholarships...) Something else to consider!

Do they offer an enrichment program at your preschool for his age? Both my kids were sept babies so they didn't start kindergarden until they were turning 6. It is your call Mom your boy just might be shy in a group situation and once he warms up he is fine. If you think he is ready academically send him to kindergarden he will learn social skills they as well, and as long as he is nice to other kids I see no reason for him to get picked on. Don't worry he'll be fine!! He needs to spread his wings alittle. M.

I am assuming that you are asking this because your school district offers pre-k AND regular kindergarten? Our school district in Michigan had what they called Discovery Kindergarten and regular Kindergarten. They tested each child and then recommended placement in either one. They said they didn't go by age, but from my experience, those kids with late birthdays were always recommended for Discovery Kindergarten. The cut off date there was age five by November 30, so you had kids (like two of my daughters whose birthdays were in September and October) who would be starting school when still four years old.

Our school district had an excellent program, and I did not regret my daughters being placed in Discovery Kindergarten, even though they probably would have handled kindergarten fine. They did not miss out academically. DK was very exciting and they were learning in an atmosphere that was fun and engaging. The class was smaller and the kids got more attention from the teachers. I adored their teacher. She is still my favorite of all the teachers my kids have had.

I don't know what the programs are like in your district. In many districts Kindergarten has become very rigorous and academic. Some kids are just not ready for it. If they aren't ready, it can mean a bad start in school for them, and there is a risk it will sour them on school. The pre-k might be a good idea if you don't think your son is ready for K. It would give him a chance to mature a bit.

Do they do readiness testing in your school district? Are parents allowed to observe the pre-k and kindergarten classes? Can you talk to the teachers of each level and see what they would recommend? Ultimately it is your decision. You know your child best. Go with what you think is best.

my twins' bday is early july. They entered K in september. Both can read and do basic math since 3. one is very mature, the othe rone is not so mature. They're both social but do not impose themselves to others. One made friends, the other one likes to play by herself, which I did not like. I brought that subject to teacher and teacher's aid, and parents who volunteer so now they all make sure my daughter is playing with someone. So, school can help if you point out your child's needs. That same one had crying issues, she cries over everything. The teacher put her on behavior chart. She did great. Now she's not using the chart anymore and has not cried ONCE in a month :)
I personally didn't want to keep my kids behind, but would be ok if suggested one or both repeat kindergarten. I don't expect anything of the sort but i would be ok. My kids love kindergarten, and I work with them at home as well. So it could go either way, as long as you know what your son needs and stay in contact with the teacher, he could do great

The fact that SO many parents hold there kids back because they are afraid of their kids not "doing" well is what is causing this problem. If parents sent there kids to school when the age says and didn't volunteer holding their kids back, there wouldn't be such an age difference in the classes. Sending kids to kindergarten at 6 years is making the parents of kids who are 4 to soon be 5 question themselves. This is just another part of parents doing too much for their kids and not allowing kids today to have to try hard and struggle a little. Life is too easy for the kids today. We all went to school when we were of age and we survived. Some of us had to try harder, that's all. It is very sad to hear the parents who held their kids back say "those poor younger kids don't do as well and are problems in the class." That is not because of the kids. They are suppose to be there. The parents who put kids in a whole year later are causing the problem with these kids. You are comparing kids who SHOULD be in the class to kids who should be in first grade. Don't put the younger kids down when you are cusing the problem. Send kids to school when the age require fits and stop making this harder for other parents and other kids.

My sons birthday is in august and I struggled with this as well. He did great in preschool and his teachers told me he would do well either way. Well we put him in young 5's and I'm so glad we did. He loved young 5's and this year is in K and is doing excellant. His teacher told me he's in the top of his class. Doing well with reading and has become kind of a leader in the class. I don't know if it's because we kept him back a year or not but I think that's a big part of it. Good luck in your decision.
Chris

Hi K.,
There are many pros and cons to both, but my advise is to wait. Most kids who are younger in the class struggle with friendships because even a few months can make a big difference in what kids like to play and do. Also, if there are some kids with August birthdays that were held back, they will be turning six around the start of school, and your son won't be that age for 11 months. I am involved with a school, and have seen all the parents happy about waiting, but not as many about sending early. He won't be bored. Schools have many activities for kids to do academically. And I know this is along way off, but he will be 19 when he goes to college--not 18. Another option is to repeat kindergarten. I know several students that did that to their benefit. Best wishes in whatever you decide.

This is my experience from a long time ago, but when I was younger I didn't meet the cutoff for the public school kindergarten, but our catholic school was trying kids out in 1st grade and if we did well we continuted and if not we get held back. I was only 5 years old going into 1st grade and I was never in any kind of preschool prior to that. I do know that at first I was probably less mature and not used to as much socialization as the other kids in my class (they all had gone to kindergarten and were about a year older then me), but academically I was more than ready. It's possible the first year may have been an adjustment for me, but I did well and continued on and had wonderful friendships and actually graduated from 8th grade #1 in my class. I think if I would've been held back, academically would've been completely bored. So, at least my feeling is that if academically he is ready, than the other stuff will come eventually. I want my son to be challenged, rather than have it too easy. That's just my opinion and my experience probably affects that opinion since I was so young and all through grade school, high school and college I excelled...so even if that first year I was less mature..it all worked out in the end. Good luck with your decision...only you know what's best for your child.

Only you know what is best for your son. And sometimes we don't have much confidence in our decisions because parenting is just plain hard sometimes.

FWIW, my son has a mid-July birthday also (the 12th). He seemed a little young to me (but don't ALL the kids, really?) when he was turning 5 in the summer before Kindergarten. But academically, he was ready. He was already reading books. And socially he was fine. He has always had an amazing imagination, and had exposure (not thru playgroups or daycare) at church to a WIDE range of ages of other kids. He was very comfortable (for his age) playing with kids much older than himself and talking with adults as well. He is not a small statured child.. but certainly never even close to the biggest kid in any class he has ever been in. He did just fine.
He is in 6th grade now, and still has loads of friends, and of various ages via karate classes. Don't feel pressured to hold him back because "it's what a lot of people do"... but if you feel it is best for your son, don't let anyone tell you differently on that side of it, either.
Good luck with your decision.