Readiness for Kindergarten

A former Kndg.Teacher. Don't give him the gift of another year.Better to be the oldest then the youngest. I waited with my son also and it worked out fine. He's 32 now and thanks me.

I'd suggest holding him back. My son turned 5 in May before Kind. and I sent him. He's in 2nd grade and doing fine, but I often wish I'd held him back just so he'd be a little older. So many parents hold their boys back beginning with June birthdays that he's on the young side of all his classmates.
Good luck!
S.

I was in the same situation: very intelligent, empathetic boy who intellectually was ready for kindergarten. After much thought and discussion with his preK teachers, I made the decision to keep in one more year of preK and he will be begin kindergarten in the fall 2008 just before he turns 6. this extra year has made all the difference in how he reacts to situations, interacts with his peers and even with me and other adults at home or in public places and makes choices. His social-emotional maturity has progressed and I am happy that with my decision so that when he enters kindergarten he can better navigate the new school and new friends in a calm thoughtful manner. of course every child is different so you should follow your heart and your head.

Good luck

I taught kindergarten for 7 years and in my experience it is best to wait another year, especially with boys. I saw it year after year..parents would push their kids into kindergarten when they weren't ready, they would be uncomfortable/just didn't quite fit in socially, emotionally, etc.., and then they would repeat kindergarten (not that big of a deal)and their 2nd year when they were really ready on all fronts would be terrific! I don't know your son, but I think holding him back for another year would be best, especially since that is what your gut seems to be telling you. There is nothing wrong with waiting a year for him to develop and gain confidence in all areas of his life before heading off to kindergarten. I taught gifted children who had waited a year to enter kindergarten and they were never bored...just ready to learn :)

I don't know the answer but I can think of several questions. Is his slowness to warm up a function of his age, or his temperament? If it's the latter, it's probably irrelevant to your decision right now; he's just going to be that way, probably, whether he starts K this year or next. Is he physically big/small for his age? Is he bored in pre-K right now? Does he have a special friend he'd like to be in K with, or who is going to be in pre-K another year? (Not a make-or-break consideration, but something to throw in there.) Is he talking about K and looking forward to it, or not?

These are the questions I asked myself when my daughter, who has a November birthday, was about to start first grade. She'd been in a private kindergarten and she was dying to start "big school." She was also physically big for her age. Based on those two considerations, mostly, my husband and I went ahead and let her start first grade. Now she's in middle school, and it's a bit difficult: emotionally, she is still very much a little girl, while many of her peers are well into adolescence, and she's nearly a year younger than some of her classmates. Despite all this, she's done just fine, and I think if we'd waited a year to start first grade she'd have been bored out of her mind. So there are no right answers; just some more right than others. Good luck--T. content

I have two boys, 7 and 10 y/o, who both have birthdays in July. When it came time to start the older one in Kindergarten I wondered if it would be good to wait another year. He was academically and socially ready, but I wondered if it would be better when he got to high school that he be the oldest in the class instead of the youngest. He was so ready for Kindergarten, though, that waiting another year would have been tough and I think he would have been bored when he finally got to go. He started at five years old. He's now a straight A student with lots of interests and friends.

When the younger boy was about to turn five, I questioned again whether to wait. This time the issue was that this child had very little interest in sitting still or holding a pencil or reading. What concerned me, too, was that in social situations he tended to be a follower, always deferring to whatever the other kids wanted to play, rarely voicing his own ideas or desires. I asked his pre school teacher what she thought. She thought he'd do okay, but said that she'd never met anyone who regretted waiting. So we waited and had him do another year of preK. In the spring of his second year of preK, the lightbulb went on and he was excited about learning . He's now in 1st grade, reading beyond grade level, and friends with everyone in the class. The hardest thing about waiting the year was explaining to him why his friends went to Kindergarten and he didn't. But even that wasn't a huge deal. Much easier to explain than getting held back once you're in school.

I'd say ask your child's teacher for his/her thoughts and then listen to your heart. You are the expert on your child.
Good Luck,
E.

I have two boys, ages 5 (in pre-k) and 7 (in 2nd grade). Having experienced the fact that boys mature much slower than girls, and the schools expect the boys to be as mature as the girls, starting in kindergarten, I would definitely recommend holding him off for one year. It will be a great favor to him emotionally. My 5 year old is a December baby, and I'm glad b/c he will start kindergarten when he closer to six, naturally. My seven year old is a June baby, and boy do I wish I had held him back. Academically, he is very bright, but he is very immature.

As the Mama of two boys (4 babies all together) and a former teacher, I have to say WAIT!!!! Boys (even bright ones) tend to read a little later and socially are typically a lot slower in maturing. After watching many children struggle in kindergarten and then first grade, I have always had the opinion that if you have ANY doubts, you should keep them back. You just give them more chances at success.

It is almost always obvious which children in those early grades have late birthdays. 6 months of maturity really does make a great deal of difference in readiness.

If this were my child, I'd get a fun homeschool curriculum to do with him next year and keep him home.

My brother was born in early September. Mom ended up holding him back
before kindergarten so that he was 5 when he entered and turning 6 that year.
It is a decision she didn't regret. He is 28 now and benefitted all along from
having that extra year of social confidence. I think you know him best.
Better to delay a bit and let him advance at the pace best for him. A delay
now will be easier for him and you than a delay later.

Reading everyones responses...I don't agree...My children were way ahead of everyone in their classes...My 19 year old was reading at 3 years old...I had to fight with him all the time because he wanted to go to school...his birthday is in December so he was 6 years old when he started kindergarden...I had to find a preschool/pre-k that would take him being so bright which was hard to do because he tested at a 3rd grade level 2 months after he turned 4....so your decision has to be yours and his alone...does he want to go to the classes with the kids he is going with to now, or does he want to stay back where he is? Also another thing to think about is what his actual birthdate is. Has he actually had an IQ test done or are you just hearing what the others are telling you? My 12 year old still has problems "warming up" on things. That is just kids. You never know until he is there. A friend of mine's little girl wanted to go so bad but was a mommys girl. She had a hard time being away from mommy the first few days. Most schools give them a few weeks to adjust and if they don't then they will give you an option.
GOOD LUCK in your decision and keep us posted.
S.
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Hey L.,

I have a son that was five last May and I chose to have him repeat Pre-K this year. I have no doubt that he could have gone on to Kindergarten this year and he would have done just fine but I have several friends that are teachers and after talking to them I just decided there was no reason to rush him off to school. My teacher friends said they would prefer to have the boys a little older, they just do so much better. It's nothing to do with how smart they are but how mature (boys tend to mature later than girls)I looked at it like this: Instead of being one of the youngest he will be one of the oldest in his class. I think this will help him not only in grade school but high school as well. Good luck! D.

I had a similar problem. My son was a November baby so he was just six weeks past the date to enter kindergarten. I was also a November baby and my mother put me in kindergarten when I was four getting ready to turn five. It worked out great for me, so I wanted to do the same for my son as he was pretty advanced academically. Then last year when he was in the older three preschool program at his school, he had a few weeks where he didn't want to be left. I decided then that I wouldn't even try to get him waived in. He has spent this year in pre-k and has done very well. I am really pleased with our decision. My advice is that is you have any qualms at all, keep him out an extra year. He may need it emotionally as well as academically. Also, if you are worried about him not reaching his potential, which was what I was worried about, you can always go to a teacher/parent store and get booklets that have activities that you can do with him that are appropriate for his age level. Hope this helps!

Hey L.,
My mother-in-law is a newly retired Kingergarten teacher and she has always said that even 6 months can make a HUGE difference in the learning ability of a kingergartener. However, like you said, based on what your son's teachers recommend he may be ready to start as a "young" 5 year old.

Do NOT enroll your son in Kindergarten early! My son was very intelligent, and his teachers advised me to start him early. I did, and he turned out to be the youngest in his class, and his lacking in emotional and physical maturity greatly affected his performance in school and in sports. It's better for a boy to be the oldest in his class, and another year's emotional and physical maturity greatly benefits him.

Wow, I know just how you feel. My son has an August birthday and I agonized over this decision for months and months. I decided to hold him and so far I'm really happy with my decision. He will go to Kindergarten this Fall. I also happen to work in two elementary schools and I visited all of the kindergarten teachers at my schools and asked their opinion. They all recommended that I wait a year.
My son takes a while to warm up to new people and new situations. He also tends to stutter or stop talking all together when he is feeling pressured. The girls in his preschool class were way ahead of him verbally and socially(though not academically) and I felt that he would be really stressed if he started Kindergarten this past year as one of the youngest.
What a difference this year in preschool! Now he is one of the class leaders and he is much more confident. He talks a lot more and he is more outgoing in social situations. Get a lot of opinions but go with your instincts - you know your son.

As a teacher, I'd say wait until you are sure your kiddo is ready for school. There is so much pressure on kids now - Kindergarden curricula is no longer learning by playing...its unfortunately our kids are expected to grow up so quickly.

L. -- I am not a Mother but I have taught grade school. Both of my parents were also educators.

I am also a product of having a September birthday and my parents debating what to do with me -- go at turning 5 or 6 to kindergarten. As the story goes, according to my parents, they said I didn't show any interest in school when I was 5. I was happy at home and playing. My parents decided to wait and enter me at 6.

They have said that made the difference. When I was going closer to 6 (into that following spring and summer) they noticed I was starting to ask about school on my own -- and was interested in it. So I would think part of the readiness would be if your son seems genuinely interested ON HIS OWN in school and learning and being IN school.

Here is the deal breaker to me: As a former teacher I can tell you boys mature socially slower than girls. That's a fact. I have seen boys who were 5 when they started Kindergarten, and then by the time they get to me as their 4 th grade teacher, they are still the more immature and quick-to-cry types.

I think that is a burden you don't need to have on your son. Let him mature more. Let him be 6 and ready to be in school and have his maturity level ready to handle things. He will be the leader in the class instead of the one behind, socially. Think long term.

I have always thanked my parents for keeping me until 6 and I was a girl. Think down the road a bit when making this decision, your son will thank you too.

My daughter's B-day is 09/05, so she actually turned 5 a couple of days after the school year began. I talked to her teachers at her pre-school and they all encouraged me to start her in kindergarten. If you wait until he is 6 he will always be just slightly older then his peers, and if he enjoys learning or just being around other kids, it can be really great for him. Perhaps starting 'big kid' school will help with the warming up process. I know kindergarten has been a wonderful experience so far for my daughter and I was worried because she was only in pre-school three days a week. I was afraid that switching to the five days would be hard, but she took right to it and everything she does in class is cause for excitement.

Hope this helps a little

I have been in education for a long time as a classroom teacher, reading specialist, and administrator. If you have any questions at all about whether your child is "ready" for kindergarten, do not send him to kindergarten now. Little boys sometimes are slower to develop certain skills. If he is a little hesitant now, don't push him ahead. He has a whole life of learning ahead. Let him enjoy another year of play. This has nothing to do with his intelligence, and he will probably enjoy his school experience more if you wait.

I completely agree with the thought that six-year-olds and older five-year-olds are emotionally more ready to deal with kindergarten.
These are individual cases, obviously, but my birthday is in December, and my mother decided to keep me out of kindergarten until I was 5 turning 6 (as opposed to when I would have been eligible the year before, 4 years old but turning 5 before the close of the calendar year). I did wonderful in kindergarten and was always very good at school throughout my entire school career.
My neighbor, on the other hand, was a little boy that was 4, turning 5 in November. His mother went ahead and enrolled him in kindergarten, and his story was completely the opposite; he was constantly getting in trouble for behavioral problems, had a hard time following directions, etc.
That being said, since your son has been enrolled in pre-k, he might do just fine in kindergarten, since it is a common experience, but I've always thought that children, especially boys, may need to be a little older emotionally (whether they're able to intellectually handle the school work or not is a completely separate matter).

My daughter turned 5 July 17th of 2007 and had been in pre-school, she is very intelligent, and although was just turning 5 at the cut off I knew was ready, smart children need to be stimulated, and believe or not, although on the smaller side of her age, she has excelled, even beyond most of the students in her class, you know your child best. Do they need to be challenged?! If so, keeping them home one more year may lead to problems when they do start school, when children aren't learning and become bored, they act up! Oh, also, my birthday is in december and my mom chose to start me early and I did just fine in school!

Boys, especially, need time to be at home and do lots of healthy play outside and inside. Rushing them to kindergarten sometimes backfires on the parents. The classroom scene can be very stressful at which point social skills are gained with tension and nervousness..I would keep him home and really enjoy him another year having children over in the comfort of your home..he will learn plenty of good social skills in that environment. I'm a pediatric nurse with six adult children of my own and five grandchildren. Simply put, I'm crazy about kids living a healthy lifestyle!

I have two September birthday sons. My oldest is now the youngest in his third grade class, since at that time, he made the cut-off. His preschool teachers said that he was ready. He could sit still and was bright. On the other hand, he did not want to learn from me, a professional teacher, so he learned exactly what they were teaching in kindergarten and loved it. Unfortunately this also put him in the bottom reading group. If I could do this again, I would have given him another year. He could have been the oldest, top of the class leader instead of working hard to stay on grade level. My second son will turn 6 just weeks into kindergarten so I will see how it goes with him being the oldest. They are all so different there is no one rule that fits everyone, but it is my experience as a teacher that it is better to challenge children with enrichment than to help them keep up with the fast paced curriculum these days. I wish you the best in your decision. There are no easy choices. Follow your heart no matter what anyone says.
C. D.

Hello, L.:
I don't have experience with this personally because my kids' birthdays aren't that close to the beginning of the school year. However, my sister was a kindergarten teacher for 20 years, and dealt with this issue a lot. She's screened a lot of kids who were ready, not ready, and borderline. She says that if there is any doubt at all about a child's kindergarten readiness, then wait a year. This is a big decision, because it doesn't only affect them in kindergarten, but for their entire time in school and beyond. There were a lot of parents at her school (private school) who were resistant to waiting an extra year, even when the screenings clearly showed their children weren't ready. Some of these kids are in 4th grade now, and they're still having a hard time. If your son has good pre-K teachers, they should steer you in the right direction. It's good that you've researched and thought this through beforehand. Good luck!

H. M.

I agree with the responses to hold off a year. There is a lot of pressure on kids once they start school to achieve. Even in Kindegarten. My son has his birthday on July 4th. He turned 5 and we put him in school that September. He is now in the 2nd grade...for the second time. We ended up having to hold him back due to lack of maturity and gaps in what he was able to understand. He is doing much better now.

Hi L., it really depends on your son and your comfort level. I enrolled my daughter in kindergarted at 4 (she turned 5 in late October). The first few months were very difficult for all of us. She was 9 months to a year younger than the other kids in her class. She adjusted by Christmas break. The age difference remains a problem - she's in high school. When most kids were old enough to hang out without adult supervision, she was too young. All of her friends have been driving well over a year - she is now eligible to get her permit. These things seem trivial to us, they are difficult emotional moments for my daughter. She is in the top 5 of her class academically, but always feels like she is lagging behind her friends. I say all this to say, in retrospect I would have waited a year to enroll her in kindergarten.

Hope this helps.

As a former high school teacher and mother to two sons, I say wait another year. There is a definite difference between 14 and 15 year-old boys in the 9th grade. Plus he will be one of the youngest in his class, drive last, and graduate at 17.

My oldest is 6 and on his second year of kindergarten. He turned 5 in June and we sent him to kindergarten. We opted for an additional year due to the maturity factor. My second son is 4 months and born in September. We will not start him sooner either. There is nothing wrong with an extra year of pre-K. A lot of centers (Goddard is one of them) offer a 4-5 year-old pre-K class.

Good Luck