Pushing My Daughter to K or Hold Her Back in Pre-k. She Is Born in December

My mom is a preschool teacher & has been for over 25 years. Her theory is that if the whole child isn't ready-emotionally, physically, academically-they shouldn't move to the next grade. She sounds very smart but if socially or emotionally she's not ready she'll struggle in those regards & fall behind. If you want her to go to K, try a magnet school or charter school-they'll be able to keep closer tabs on her than a traditional school.
Some fine motor skills are lacking at age 4 that aren't by age 5 & that's part of the reason mom recommends against pushing kids forward too soon-they need to be able to "hang w/the other kids" basically.

My perspective is my own. I was young as well - academically ready and did well, very well throughout school - through college. HOWEVER, I did struggle to fit in and keep up emotionally and socially. If my parents had waiting I think my self-confidence would have benefited and my academics wouldn't have suffered. If she's socially and emotionally ready - go ahead. However, if she isn't, don't. My daughter is an October birthday and I plan to wait with her based on my experience. She's bright and very verbal for 2 1/2. I will wait with her, and plan to supplement her academic "appetite" with other challenges and activities to keep her engaged. I am considering a Montessori kindergarten to allow her to work at her own pace in her early education.

My sister lives in a nicer area in Los Angeles and she told me that a lot of the parents there hold their kids back an extra year, even if they're old enough. She said that many of the children are beginning kindergarten either at late 5 or often even 6 years old. Apparently, the kids do MUCH, MUCH better in school and socially.

M.,
I know this is a complex issue. My daughter is a July birthday and had completed two years of preschool. She was very bright but very shy. She, too would take a lot of time to do her work and got flustered if she was rushed. Socially, she seemed to be doing very well, lots of friends, enjoyed going to school, etc. So when we first started thinking about waiting on kindergarten it was with really mixed emotions. For one thing, I cannot stand the phrase "held back." So I started referring to the possibility as giving her another year. It occurred to me that once you get on the treadmill of school and work, it's REALLY hard to get off. Most of us spend our adulthood trying to find more play time and fantasizing about retirement. So why not wait a year until all of that starts? So, she did one more year of preschool...probably her happiest year there. The curriculum occurred to her entirely differently because her development was different by the time she was doing similar activities. In fact, she would sometimes remark that it was so cool to be doing a certain project again.
She finished first grade yesterday, and I think of her as the poster child for "giving them one more year." She is a remarkable kiddo. Her marks in every area were as high as they could be. She works hard, she gets along well with all the other children. She's well-adjusted. She really enjoys school. In her last parent teacher conference, her teacher apologized and said "I don't really have that much to say. She's just a delight to have in the classroom." Isn't that a parent's dream come true? I think of it as one of my best parenting decisions to date. With my younger daughter, who is a September birthday, we just waited a year before even starting preschool. She'll start in the fall as a new 4 year old.
And if not of that helps, this is what convinced my husband, would you rather send a 17 year old or and 18 year old off to college?
M., I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I have absolutely no regrets about ours.
Jen
P.S. One of our school's kindergarten teachers once told me that if you're even thinking about waiting a year, that's the answer to your question. Wait.

As a former Kindergarten teacher and a current daycare provider, I would suggest waiting another year to begin kingergarten. She sounds academically ready, but you don't want to push her if she is not there emotionally. It sounds like she may not be (with perfectionist tendencies, not wantingto be the youngest, being upset if she is not finished with others, etc). She will mature quite a bit more over the next year, she'll still be only 5 when starting kindergarten, and will still be a smart girl. :o) Let her enjoy the young years when she can. School will begin soon enough and won't stop until she is grown. It sounds like you are already doing a great job. :o)

M.,
Two of my children, a boy and a girl, have late birthdays, and in both cases we opted to give them another year of Pre-K, even though, academically they were prepared to move on. When we were considering whether to keep our daughter in Pre-K or move her on to kindergarten, her very wise teacher said she had never met a parent who regretted giving their child more time to grow, but she had met many who had deep regrets for having pushed their child on. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and I knew this to be true. Please consider that you are not holding your daughter back, but you are in fact giving her more time to mature. She faces many, many years of school, so why the hurry? She will be better prepared to cope not only academically, but also physically and emotionally, in the years to come. My son and daughter, by the way, sailed through school as happy, self confident and academically strong kids, and we never once regretted giving them a little more time.

If she has a December birthday then she is not going to be the youngest in her class! My daughters were both born in the beginning of August so they usually are the youngest in their classes and it has not been a problem. My older daughter is in first grade and my younger daughter is still in preschool. With my oldest we debated about holding her back a year but she was so eager to go to Kindergarten so we let her and she has really thrived in school. It sounds like your daughter is really smart and she should be ready for Kindergarten. As far as not being emotionally mature, there are children who are almost a year older than my daughter in her first grade class who are far less emotionally mature than she is. It is not really something that develops with age, it develops with PRACTICE and with help from parents and teachers who can teach kids how to handle their emotions. I have read that children who were held back an extra year from Kindergarten did NOT do any better academically than their peers who started Kindergarten on time so that is something else to consider. I hope that whatever you decide you will be happy with your decision, good luck!

I am going to advise you coming from a mom that had to make the same decision years ago to keep her in Pre K. She won't even be five until mid year Kindergarten, which I am surprised they would allow her as our public school system has a cut off of end of Septemeber here.

Here is my story- My daughter turned 5 first week of September, because she was doing so well academically in Pre K I put her in as I wanted to challenge her. She is almost the youngest in her class and has been every year.

Most of her friends are now 8 or will be in the next month. She is now 7 and in second grade, going into 3rd. She will be into third grade for three weeks before she turns 8.

Over the years I have seen her shine academically, she is above in reading levels. She was right where your daughter was, could write her name, know her address, phone number, all her colors, shapes, letters, numbers...but the maturity was so not there and for girls I think that is so hard on them in each grade level. I have seen my daughter struggle with friendships on occassions and focusing in class.

With her lack of maturity she has had problems focusing, peer issues, talking too much in class, not listening or following instructions and things that come along with being more mature. All her teachers EVERY single year remind me when she is having a problem that it has much more to do with her age and she will eventually catch up. All her teacher praise how smart she is but they each one have brought up the maturity thing. I felt so awful after they would remind me how young in mind she is still!!! :)

I now wish I had waited, there was no reason to rush her into Kindergarten and I made a mistake. She has grown up a lot this year and her second grade teacher said mid year third grade she thinks the light bulb will kick on maturity wise.

I could have saved her a lot of grief if I had just waited. I would NEVER at this point consider holding her back with the friends she has made and how humliating at this point it would be for her, however if you could wind the clock back I wouldn't have put her in so young. Girls mature faster in a sense that a lot of the girls in her grade are older and more mature then she is. She is very emotionally driven and that can cause problems at times.

My son who will be five in July, I just had to do this again. I sat with his Pre K teachers for hours trying to make sure I was making the right choice for him as well. Thankfully, he is right where boys his age should be and will be on a more even playing field. So he will start Kindergarten in the fall.

Ultimately it's your decision, but as an educator having worked in a nursery through 8th grade school I will tell you this. There are 2 ways to look at kindergarten readiness- academically, which she sounds very ready and socially and that is where the concern is. Does she have the same interest as her peers? Is she able to emotionally handle herself on the same level? Does she sociallize with them the same way? Play similar games, join in conversations, and initiate things? These are things that are just as important. The gift of time (an extra year in preschool) is rarely a wrong choice. I have never heard a parent who said I'm sorry I gave my child the extra year but I have heard lots say they wish they had. To really put it in perspective...think way ahead to college. Your 17 1/2 year old daughter could be miles away from home living on her own. Would you feel better if she was there at 18 1/2 instead? Feel better that she had the extra year of maturity to make good decisions in such an influential and defining environment with you so far away? That is something to seriously consider when making the decision to advance a child with a late birthday. Again, it's ultimately up to you. You know your child. I would listen to the teachers concerns and consider if they indicate one of the things I mentioned earlier. That extra year may make her more confident and in the long run that will help her make good, educated decisions.

I think that I would hold her back. As many have said, academically is only one critiera. As a high school teacher, I have seen many a young student struggle as their peers physically and emotionally develop as they haven't yet. And, of course, it is very difficult to see all your friends getting a drivers license while you have a year to wait. I realize these seem like mild issues now, but when you have a teenage girl with older boys, you might think differently....just a thought.

Personally I would hold her back. My daughter was just on the cusp of her being able to start school. We let her and academically she was fine. She was a little immature we didnt hold her back until the second grade and the difference in her is amazing. She has really come out of her shell and grown up this year. She is still doing well academically reading at a 4th grade level.

My parents faced this decision when I was young. I had an October birthday, so I would be either the oldest or the youngest in the grade. My parents were both educators and felt from experience that it would be better for me to be the oldest, so they waited to send me to K. When I went, however, I had been reading since I was 3 and academically was way beyond the other kids. The teachers recommended strongly that I skip to 1st grade. For some reason, my parents caved and went along with it. I think it was absolutely the wrong decision. I had a terrible time socially in elementary school - it made things so hard. I was the smallest kid, I had red hair, I was smart, and I was basically an only child (my siblings are 9-12 yrs older than I) with little experience getting along with other kids. That all combined to make me a huge target. While I did fine academically - I always excelled - I would have preferred to stay with my age group. It could possibly have spared me a lot of heartache and blows to my self-esteem that took years & years to understand and to heal. It effected me negatively especially through my teen years and early twenties. My parents also regret the decision. My daughter has been reading since she was 4 - has known her colors since she was 18 months old - excels academically in every way and has a Nov. birthday. I sent her to an extra year of preschool & she will be entering K this fall as one of the oldest kids. She has great social skills and does so much better than I ever did. Social skills are so much harder to catch up on than academics. If the teacher has any concerns whatsoever about her emotional state, I would strongly recommend that you keep her in pre-K. Having her academically advanced is not worth the damage that could be done to her self-esteem.

Sounds like she's academically ready. If she's been in preschool / pre-K, she's probably socially ready too.

I was a December Kindergarden baby too (a long time ago). My mom opted to put me in school early (I was academically and socially ready). I was 4 when I started and turned 5 halfway through Kindergarden.

It was never really a big deal until high school when I couldn't get my driver's license until halfway through my junior year. My parent's had a rough time dealing with my social life at that time--my friends were dating and driving and getting jobs, but I still seemed young to my parents. I had a similar situation again in college when I didn't turn 21 until my senior year.

All in all, I would recommend it. Even starting school early I was always still in advanced classes. I think would have been really bored in school if I had started a year later.

Boy, I thought I was pushing it when I had to make the decision for my daughter and she has a Sept. birthday - with a Dec. birthday, it wouldn't have been something I even considered. She missed the cut-off by 2 hours - and the year after she started school they changed it to Oct. She is my 3rd child and socially I knew she was ready, academically she was as well. So, we open-enrolled her in another county's school and she now goes to our local school. She's actually in a 1/2 combo class and is loving it! I guess, you can ask me in 5-10 years what I think, but I'm happy I did what I did. But, if her birthday was December, I wouldn't even be considering it. You're her mom, you love her, and know her best, just remember that!!

I wouldn't put her in Kindergarten until she is acutally 5. If you put her in school now, she would the youngest one in her grade and she wouldn't get her license when older until way after all her friends. If you wait one more year, she would be one of the oldest kids in her grade. She might be ready academically but socially she might find later in school being the youngest wouldn't be fun. Good luck in your decision.

I haven't read any of the other responses, so I hope I'm not just repeating them. But here's my 2 cents.
I think we don't push our children hard enough sometimes. When I was in first grade, my parents were given the option to have me skip a grade and go to 2nd grade instead. I wish they had. Instead they kept me in 1st grade because I have a sister a grade ahead of me. What I learned from school was that it was easy and I could skate through it -- that I didn't have to push myself. This was a really bad thing because I got to college and didn't know how to study well. I managed to do ok, but college was quite a shock.
That said, you know your child better than her teacher. Will she be bored if she stays back a year? Or would she relish the chance to be more comfortable and at the top of her class? Where I am at, she wouldn't be in kindergarten this coming year anyway (the cutoff here is the first of September). If you decide now to go to kindergarten in the fall, could you change your mind over the summer if you feel like she isn't ready? If she continues to excel academically, she could always skip kindergarten or first grade so she could continue to be challenged academically while having an extra year to get up to speed emotionally/maturity-wise.

I have a nephew who is bright, creative, intelligent everything. His birthday is at the end of August. He started K with his class. after a couple of months it was really obvious that emotionally he just wasn't ready. His interpersonal skills were not at the same level as the other kids, so he was taken back out of k and put into prek for the rest of that year and he loved going to school again. He then went on to K the next year and has done great, but sometimes still talks about how he had to leave K.
the teacher sees your daughter in those social situations--if you trust the teacher at all (which I hope you do if you have had her teaching your child) take that advice into serious consideration. being the oldest or the youngest in your class is pretty irrelevant in the long run. Being prepared for the social environment of school. That is really important. I've watched my dd in prek this past year and the first couple of months were really hard for her but now she is a little older she loves it, she doesn't need me to walk her into class and set a 2 min timer anymore. I am just saying that they develop so much emotionally in short amounts of time. I would observe your daughter in class if you can. and also I would have some play groups with craft activities, do your research on your daughters social skills and listening skills in those situations. You'll get a pretty good feel for what is going on for her. also sometimes the K teachers can be not so great==the kids who are not as emotionally mature and get those teachers have a much harder time adjusting to school. My youngest sister has her bday in July--but I think it would have been good for her to wait a year even then. emotionally I don't think she was ready, she has struggled with the social side of school until this past year in 9th grade. she's finally catching up to the rest of the kids around her.
these are just my personal observations...I'm glad my dd's bday is in Jan so I don't have to make that decision. I don't envy you that but trust yourself, I know it can be confusing but study it out and trust yourself to know what is best for your child. Your teacher could be spot on, or she could be dead wrong. (how helpful is that? haha) but really you are her mom. you have that mom intuition gift. You will know what to do.

My birthday is in the end of September and I missed the cutoff date to be old enough for K. My parents could have pushed for me to go in because academically I was ready and I was very close in age. They chose to wait until the next year and it was a great thing. I developed more socially and later because my academics were so strong I was able to do a bunch of advanced classes. I probably could have skipped a grade later if I had really wanted to, but by then I wanted to stay with my friends and just do several advanced classes. Just wanted to give you my view as the child. Hope it helps!

Our daughter just graduated Kindergarten yesterday!
A year ago we were trying to make the same decision you are now.
She is and August baby and barely made the cut-off where we are. She actually turned 5 the day before school started. I worried aout her being the youngest in her class and considered holding her back in Pre-School for another year.
In then end we decided that she knew her letters and numbers, she knew how to write her name, she was learning her letter sounds and reading simple words so we'd give it a shot. If it turned out to be too much for her then we could always pull her out and try again the next year.

Looking back now, I am so glad we made the decision we did. She has been waaayyyy above benchmark all year scoring in the top percentage of her class. She's reading and writting and this morning she came into my room crying because she really wanted to go to school.

If we had left her in pre-school she would have been bored out of her mind!

It sounds like your daughter is ready academically. The only other questions I would ask is ... is she ready socially (Because that's a huge part od Kindergarten too)? Our DD incredibly outgoing and makes friends with everyone she meets so she had absolutely no problems. If you think your daughter is ready then give it a shot. She may suprise you! And if it turns out to be too much for her then there's nothing wrong with pulling her out and putting her back in Pre-K and trying again next year.

If you're still torn then try talking to her and see what she wants to do. If she's ready to move on she'll tell you. If she's nervous and unsure about it and wants to stay in Pre-K then let her make the decision. She old enough to understand.

My birthday was in September and was 4 when I went to school. I loved it, as did others who were the youngest in the class. But when I talk to people who we held back so they would be older are so glad they didn't go to school when they are younger. I really think it is about your attitude. Do you want your daughter graduating at 17 and moving out and starting college at that time. SHe may be ready and may not. Good luck in your decision.

You know your daughter best - listen to your gut.
We waited on both of mine (August and Sept b-days). My son turned 6 on the first day of kindergarten. So, think about that - do you really want her to be a junior or senior and in the same class as someone a year and a half older.... I was a late Apr. and my husband is a late May - way back when, the cutoff was June 30, so we were typically the youngest - we both HATED it. we were the smallest, we knew we were different and we just plain did everything last. Most school districts have a cut off of August to Oct. 1.
There's way more to think about than academics. Both of mine were more than ready academically but it was still the absolute right decision to wait. My daughter will enter kindergarten next year at 5 yr and 11 mo. she's reading chapter books and is doing her older brother's gifted math homework faster than he does and yet, right now I feel we did the best thing for her in waiting. Last fall, she was hiding behind me going into class, she didn't deal well w/kids acting up, and didn't deal well w/the noise and hustle/bustle of a classroom (and she's in a very calm class of 12). She's now ready to tackle all that. lastly, I'm one of those parents who sees no reason to push our kids to grow up - take on responsibility, yes - but let's let them be kids as long as they can.
Is your daughter socially and physically ready? Think about how you're going to handle the age difference all the way through school. Just because she may be a challenge academically to the K teacher is no reason to push her. Take some calm moments and listen to your gut. and, see if you can get a straight answer out of her teacher if she really is ready or is there something else behind their new recommendation.
Good luck!

Hi M.;

As a former K teacher I always say; when in doubt...wait.

See how she progresses socially over the summer. If she is emotionally mature and obviously she is academically ready. Social aspects of Kindergarten are just as important as academic. If she's too "young" she will feel alone and out of place.

Good luck; tune in to your mama sense and you'll know what to do.

K.

M., I'm assuming you have respect for the school and for the teacher. Consider her advice carefully. At this age, being behind academically isn't the only reason for slowing the educational process down for a while. It isn't any kind of penalty, either.

Good teachers keep an eye out for emotional maturity, and they know that all children progress at different rates (just as they do in academics). If you give your daughter a chance to grow in these other ways right now instead of moving her up the stepladder, it will not hurt her - and will probably be of help both emotionally and scholastically (you know how the grades slide if a child is struggling in other ways).

My younger son (an adult now) was a September baby and we had to make the same sort of decision. He was learning everything well, but we finally decided to let him have another year in preschool. As I recall, we emphasized to him that this was a privilege; not everybody got to stay with such a good teacher for another year! It gave him a little time to grow up (funny to say that about a five-year-old!), he wasn't bored academically, and it was certainly the right decision.

At this age, giving an extra year is an "easy fix" - it's much harder when they're older and face peer pressure and other issues. So talk to the teacher some more, and give your daughter this opportunity if she really needs it. I think you won't be sorry.

My daughter has a Sept birthday. She was very ready academcially for K, and I put her in the K program at the preschool she'd been going to because the public school cutoff is Sep 1. The teacher there suggested that she still do K in the public school too (I think they have the 6 by Sep 1 deadline for 1st grade anyway). I'm so glad I did. Yes, academics have been easy for her. But her teachers have been good at challenging her. And emotionally and socially she was definitely not ready. It's much better for her to be in the lower class and the oldest.

School isn't just about academics. There's a lot of social and emotional development included. (The kids aren't learning in an isolated bubble after all). You may be tempted to put your daughter ahead a grade, but I would really suggest you wait. If she's already having emotional issues (like being slower or a perfectionist like you mentioned) the extra pressure of being in a class designed for older kids will not be good. Kids a year apart can be at very different emotional stages, and she could be a full year and a half younger than some kids, or more. Most teachers (especially if your in a school with lower class sizes) will know when and how to academically challenge bright kids and keep her interested.

Hi, M. - well, I have heard many mixed messages about this topic. The most recent information I received was that at that young age, unless there are concerns about maturity and social issues, is that the child will catch up over the next few years. I'd suggest observing her with other kids and seeing how she is with others of the same age. Does she get frustrated and struggle, or is she just the last one? Someone has to be last. :) I think you're very fortunate, too, to have an attentive teacher who is very interested in your child's success. That can help you, too. D.

Hi M.,

My son was born in December too and I did the same thing, I put him in pre-school on time and then we did a year of day care based pre-school. It was actually through my husbands university. He loved the program and learned many things while he was there that prepared him for kindergarten. Somebody else commented on this already but the most important thing to consider is not her academics but her emotional/physical maturity. If you put her in K now, she will graduate early and move on into the adult world early, college is much more demanding on a 17 year old than it is on an 18 year old. It's a fine balance and the state puts the rules in for a reason, I would listen to the teacher on this one, they are very observant people.
You mentioned that you are from Europe. My husband employed someone that grew up in Europe and was finished school at her 17th birthday, a young 17 and then moved to Canada (which is where I am) and then she was trying to get into university and get a job. It was sad but nobody would take her seriously and she really was an immature, SMART, 17 year old and when she did get into university, she only made in through her first semester and had to come home because it was too hard in the grown up world, not the academics but the everyday life. She did her next semester from home. And went back when she was 18 and was able to make it work. Good luck to you. I wish you good things in your future with your daughter.

S., Mom of 4.

I think that you can continue to encourage your daughter's wonderful love for learning, while keeping her in pre-k another year. I believe that emotional well-being is just as important as brain simulation, and if she stays in pre-k again, she just might get the chance to be the first to finish one day. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should push being "first" or "best" or whatever, but I do believe that it is good for the ego to feel that acheivement once in a while. Also, it is wonderful to be able to help another person, and another year in pre-k may enable your lovely girl to help another child. Hope this makes sense. Tough decision. I'd be interested to hear what you decide, and how it goes for her next year.

Sounds like your daughter is bright and ready to move up academically. However, half the game in life is social and if she is having anxiety at all in that area, don't do it. My dd is bright but has friend stress at times. Look at how it will be to be the last to drive, date, etc. also, out of the 4 girls I know personally that were moved up a grade, only 1 is well adjusted with friends and the others are bright but a bit off socially. Sorry to be so blunt but I don't have much time to make it sound pretty.

I have two kids that were born at the end of November and they didn't start Kindergarten until they were 5. I think that your daughter is probably excelling in more than enough to be in kindergarten, but (like the teacher says) it is so important to be ready emotionally. I feel that girls, especially, are put under so much pressure to "be the best." Her self-esteem is so important and she will have a much better grasp on reality at 5.
My daughter will be graduating from high school in a couple of weeks and then she will head off to Oregon State University. I have to say that she is ready to meet the world head on. A lot of mental growth takes place between 17 and 18. I feel that she is a lot more emotionally stable now at 18. She goes to school during the day and works evenings at the local plant nursery and I am very proud that she is able to take care of things now by herself. It is so important to consider the age at which they will be graduating also.

My daughter is also a perfectionist and it was a definate boost to her ego to be the oldest and best in her class. I would suggest waiting.

My daughter was born December 23rd - we lived in Hawaii when it was time for her to start K. If we had still been in Colorado she would have had to wait one more year but Hawaii's cutoff was December 31st. I too was afraid to put her in K. They suggested that she be tested to see if she was ready - this was done through the school. They felt that it would be more difficult for her if she waited one more year because she was so far advanced. The first week was the hardest because she did not want to be left there without me. Although when I took her in for the testing over several days she had no issues with that. For a couple of days I had her Dad take her in and then we worked it out where she road the bus with her daycare providers kids and she did beautifully. She too was a perfectionist - and still is. She suffered no scares from starting early. In fact she kind of took pride in that. She is now 26 with one child of her own and another on the way. She always did well both emotionally and academically. You know your daughter best, with all she does now I think she is more than ready academically. Go with your gut on this one. If she doesn't handle it well you can always put her back in Pre-K.

I taught my girls to read at ages 3, 4 and 5. None of them were "shy" or had social difficulties. Nevertheless, I did not send them to school prior to age five, and in retrospect, I'm so glad that I did not that I would literally beg any parent who's considering sending a four-year-old to kindergarten not to do it.

Lots and lots of children are "smart" prior to age 5. That fact really has no bearing, ultimately, on whether they should attend kindergarten. God bless your analysis of the situation and your decision!

Years ago, when a child was really smart they'd let them skip a grade. They don't do that any more. Instead they have programs that keep the child with children their own age.

My daughter knew everything she was supposed to learn in kindergarten except that the spine of a book was called the spine of a book before starting kindergarten. I emphasized the social aspects of school for her. She didn't start getting bored of school til 1st grade.

K & pre-K are great because your teacher is more willing to work with kids at their individual levels. You'll want to have her tested before she hits first grade to see if she can get into the advanced placement program at her school. It's more about how you learn than how much you know.

No one gets bored in preschool because it's mostly playing anyway.

I'd hold her back. My old neighbor pushed her daughter through. (now in 4th grade). She said she wishes she hadn't. Her daughter is shy and withdrawn now - (she wasn't when she started kindergarten).

Our son is very young for his class. We had to help him understand that not everything needs to be perfect. We still work on that and he's finishing 1st grade. I think it depends on what you want to work on. To me, it sounds like your daughter would be very bored being in preK again. That was precisely the reason we moved our son on. You don't want her to be bored in school. It will set up a bad precedence for her attitude for the rest of her school years, as well as her behavior in school. We have been very pleased with how he's doing. He's still pulling high As in school and we still work to keep him challenged. I can't imagine what we'd do if he were just now in kindergarten. We're finding, that even now the social things are working their way out. At the beginning of school, he preferred to be with kindergardeners even though he was in first grade. Now he looks for 2nd graders and does well with them. It is a tough decision. I hope you find a good solution!

I have a daughter who was born in October. She started school in Canada, where they do the cut off by the calendar year, so she started school at 4. We moved here after kindergarten. She could already read, so I put her in 1st grade (she was a year younger than a lot of the kids). She did fine until high school. She was 13 when she started high school and was not ready for it emotionally. She had a lot of problems in high school, not just academically. She couldn't handle the peer pressure. She is smart enough to get A's but doesn't try anymore. I have a younger daughter who was born the end of September and I held her back. She is in 3rd grade now and I don't regret it at all. I would definitely hold your daughter back.

I know you already have tons of comments, but I had to add my two bits. 1)look at her whole being, yes she is ready academically, but remember the social aspect. 2)They do have programs that she can be tested for that allow her to excel but with kids her own age. 3) Consider the future and what it will mean for her. 4)Consider early college when she is older.

I wasn't very smart as a young kid, but it finally clicked in High School. My grades where a B average, but I was able to go part time during the summer between my Sophomore and Junior year in High School. I did so well that they allowed me to go part time during my Junior Year and full time during the summer before and during my Senior Year. I had enough credits to Graduate from High School by December of my Senior Year. And by the time the rest of my class graduated, I had my associated degree done.

I would consider doing this for her. I hated High School, my older brother is 2 years older than I am, so we actually started College together, it was great for both of us. I still hung out with my friends, and I didn't date any college guys those two years. I focused only on my education. My brother did drag me along to a few dances and social parties. Every one I met was so impressed that I was 16 and in college that I got into some great study groups and I was able to learn more from them then I ever did from my high school teachers. Most of the classes you take in High School, you pretty much have to retake in College...so it saved tons of time and money!

If she was born in Dec of 04, our deadlines in UT means she woudldn't even start Kindergarten until next year. (If I read your message right anyway). So if you started her now she would still be 4. I think you will be fine either way. The extra year of preschool will be really good for her, my daughter is the same way. SUPER smart, but really shy and emotional. Preschool has done wonders for her. But if you put her in to Kindergarten early and it doesn't work, having her repeat it, won't put her behind any other kids. The only advantage of having her wait another year, will make her more the same age as the other kids, and will probably put her at an intellectual advantage by the time she goes. Good luck, don't stress. You can always talk to the kindergarten teacher and have her tested. But like I say, I don't think the public schools will say she has met their age deadline.

I would not do this, it is about maturity, not academic readiness and will affect her her entire time in school. Think about it, she will barely be 17 when she graduates from high school and is off to college! This is not even close, she will be a full 6 months even a whole year behind some of her classmates. Is this a private school? I hate to say it but will the school have financial gain from this? Maybe they have numbers to keep. Good luck.

I am a kinder teacher and have had experience with children whoes parents were recommended by the preschool teacher to keep them in pre-k for a year and did not listen. It is my suggestion to keep your daughter in pre-k for a year so that she is ready not only accademically but socially and emotionally as well.

Please don't move her to Kindergarten. A child that struggles just a little to keep up in Kindergarten can be desperately behind by third grade. Keep her in pre-K for another year. Also think of her being 15 in a class with some 17 y/o's in high school.....There is a big maturity difference. Better to be one of the oldest instead of the youngest.

M.,

I'd hold her in PreK. IF you ever mainstream her into public education system, she'll be younger by birthday and quite likely emotionally as well. Emotional age has a lot to do with decision making, choices, that kind of thing. She'll likely be easier to influence by others. Of course, even good parenting and all that can still have no success even on an age appropriate emotional age...

I'd hold my child back in prek if there were any questions. Talk with the K teacher... what are his/her feelings? Then do what you think is best. You are the mom! :)

V.