Raising My Girls

I am sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family. I know I would be completely lost if my kids lost their dad. I think you should do something to fill your time. Go back to school or take on a new volunteer position like the PTO, mentoring or a new job. Do something that will help you keep busy. Take care.

G.

Please just know that God is there to help carry the burden (remember the FOOTSTEPS story) I will keep you and your daughters in my prayers. I too have a 4 yr. old girl and cant imagine what it would be like to try to deal with that. I really suggest grief counseling for you and her. You need the time to just express your feelings and not suppress them. I know how it is to push on for the sake of our kids, but it makes it that much harder to move on, and eventually has a worse effect. Like everyone else has said, lean on your church family, Im so glad that you have one. I know you cant see it now, and might not even want to, but it will be ok...eventually. And dont forget that if there's something you need, as small or big as it may be, ask for it.
Love, L.

I don't have any advice for you. I just want to say I'm so sorry and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep faith and you will remain strong for your children.

G.,

Thank you for reaching out to us moms out there...even though we don't know you personally. I can't tell you how sad I feel for you and your daughters. Unfortunately, because of the existence of sin in the world, the result is physical death. Please remember that God is still in control of our world no matter how unfair it seems. Also, God has a mighty plan for your life and the lives of your daughters. Please pray for comfort...remember the Holy Spirit is the Great Comforter! Please know that you have another mom praying for you!

Of my I'm sorry to here for your loss. Please email me if you need to talk. I will give you my phn number if you need to talk.

G. I'm so sorry for your loss.
As I was reading yor story I could only imagine your pain. Yes, you should seek guidance and assistance from all who are genuine. There is also Grief Counseling, please check into it. The importance of speaking with someone that you haven't known all your life, someone that has no preconcieved ideas on what you and your girls are in need of is important.
I know you already feel the impact of your loss, it completely unbalances your life. Stability is so hard to hold onto at this time, but it is probably the best way to pull you through this there is another person you should be hanging on for and that is the love of your life. No 1, but you can give his children a sense of his love and dreams for them, and yourself as well. Use your instinct to consider what he would have wanted HE and the love you shared will help you through this.
Best of LOVE .
J.

Oh G....I am so sorry, I am in a desperate situation myself not the same as yours but I feel for you greatly. Hang onto your family and church they will be your saving grace...hold onto your babies they will give you strength...I hold onto mine a little longer than normal to give them and myself strength...I will pray for you....

G.,

Hugs to you and your family. I am sooooo sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that we are all here for you if ever need a friend or just someone to lean on. It's very hard to say, but you will go on because you just have to. You have 2 kiddos to raise and I can't imagine how DIFFICULT it is for you deal with all of this. We are here one day and gone the next. It's a scary world out there. Please e-mail me if you EVER need to talk to someone

____@____.com are in my prayers.

Hugs,
B.

G., i am very sorry to hear about you losing your husband. Honey, keep your head up, and you will do fine with your girls. God will see to that. Lean on your church family, and your mom. they are there to help you through this, and everything else. I will pray for you and your girls, and for God to help you through this. My heart goes out to your family.

I have been thinking all day about what I could say that might be of some help, but no words seem to be enough!! To say that I am sorry for your loss seems like such an understatment, but I really am sad for you and your family. I was thinking, that maybe if you could give your girls something of his to sleep with for now, and then maybe you, or someone you know, could try to make them each a quilt out of some of his old clothes, that way they will always feel wrapped by his love. Dont worry about the kids seeing you sad, they need to know that you miss him too, but that together the 3 of you will make it through this. Be sure to spend time outside, the air and sun are perfect right now. Go to the park, take a walk, whatever you can. And, get up every morning and take a shower and get totally dressed, make up and all. You will just feel better about the day, even if you end up crying it all off! Please let people help too. Ask them to make meals for you, or even take the girls somewhere fun. You could ask for help dusting or vacuuming, anything that you just cant seem to get done! You will make it through this, but it will take time, counseling, love and prayers. I hope that each day will get a little better, and that you can find at least one thing to laugh about. Dont feel guilty about having good times with your girls, daddy would want them to be happy and playing! He will always be with them, and will certainly be a guiding force in each of your lives. ~A.~

G.,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Losing someone that close, so unexpectedly is so traumatic for the whole family.
Please keep you mom and church close to your heart. Ask for help, don't feel like your alone in the world. Seek out other women to help you get through this.
I lost my father in 2005. The pain never ends. The crying never stops. The answers never come. The only thing that is constant is my memory of him. Everyone says it gets better with time. Time heals everything.. The only thing time does is create space between you and the hurt....
Don't stop living! Don't stop breathing! Don't think you can't make it to another day without your husbands love and presence. You can do it. You can do it for your girls. You can do it for him. You can do it for yourself.
I don't know where you live in Dallas, but send me a message and maybe we can get our girls together to play, or i can introduce you to other social circles here...
Looking forward to meeting you, and god bless you and your family.

G. -
I don't have any advice, but I will be praying that God wraps his arms around you in this time and that you will feel His presence. I will pray that for the girls too.
- P.

I am so sorry for your loss.I do not know what I would do if I lost my husband. I can say though that I lost my mother at a really young age. The most important thing you can do for your girls is keep their daddy alive. Dont every forget to tell them how much he loved them and how proud he would have been for them.My father did not talk about my mom at all after she passed away and I needed to talk. Even at a young age a child can become depressed as well.I know it may hurt to talk about him and right now your girls may not fully grasp what is happening but eventually they will realize daddy is gone and its really going to hurt them.I expected my moms death and knew it was going to happen but no one could have prepared me for it, and after no one would talk about her. Now as a mother myself I find myself talking to my two little girls who are also four and one about her. I try my hardest to keep her memory alive because even as an adult I am still scared she will be forgotten. So plese just remember to talk to them and not let them forget it very important to them even though at such young ages it may not seem like it.

G., I am so sorry for your loss. What all of us fear has come to pass for you. You are strong, as evidenced by the fact that you are willing to go on. I hope you can find happiness in your life.

Best wishes

G.,

I am very sorry about your loss. I read this post about a week ago, and have been praying for you every since. I do not know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I do know someone who does. I have an acquantence that lost his wife this past June. She was 30 years old, and had recently given birth to their second child. Two weeks after delivery, she collaped at their home and was dead less than a week later. He is now facing the grief of losing a wife, as well as raising a baby and a four year old alone. He has a website that might be very helpful to you. The address is www.wendysfriends.wordpress.com. It tells the whole story of his wife's ordeal, and how he has been coping for the past five months. I check it often for updates. Hope this helps.

I have no idea how you must feel right now, but I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your girls. I'm so sorry this has happend. I wish I could say more but I know my words alone are little comfort...I'm glad you have your family and church.

I am sorry I don't have all the answers for you. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. One thing is for sure, you have to put all your love into those little girls. Focus on them as much as possible and let people help you. I would offer but I am not close enough to you.

I hope you seek counseling for you and your girls even if you feel they are handling it, I am sure it would help to have someone estranged from the situation for them to be able to open up to about their feelings.

I am sorry for your loss... Lots of hugs and prayers to you and your girls..

G.-

I don't have any advice for you as I have never been in your situation but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about the passing of your husband. Take care of yourself.

H.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

G., I will pray for you and your girls. I so feel for you and I am so glad that you have your mom and your church family to support you.

Please know we are all here for you.

C.

I wish there was something I could say. I am sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Sure, I have lost my dad and brother, and I know the pain I felt, but when you lose your husband, I can't fathom the pain and emptiness. Keep praying and you will get through this, even when you think you won't. Your church and family will be there for you. I will keep you in our prayers. God Bless you and yours.

G....Im sorry for your loss, I couldnt even imagine losing my spouse. I lost my mother in Dec of 2000 when she was 44, which was very unexpected as well, so I understand the kind of shock this can be. She was alive and well, and then a week later, she was having severe headaches and almost blacking out. They ran many tests but couldnt find anything. A few days later, she had a stroke in her sleep, caused by annurisms she had on both sides of her brain. She was in a coma for a week, until we took her off life support. She was a very healthy woman, no major health issues. I was 22 at the time, my sister just turned 16. It was very hard on us, as well as my dad, who had lost the love of his life. My parents had been married over 25 years. I never thought I would be able to go on without my mom, as she was my confidante, supporter, and best friend. Please know that God has a plan, and will not deal you more than you can handle. If you continue to trust in him, he will help you through this tough time. Depend on your family and your church and they will be able to comfort you and help you through this time. You and your children will continually be in my prayers.

God bless

Dear G., my heart goes out to you and your daughters. It sounds like you mother is close and that’s great.

My husband died seven months ago and I’m still trying to figure it all out. Go easy on yourself; everything you’re feeling is normal. Right now, you’re most likely in shock – suffering through brain fog – this is a self-protection mechanism, try to just go with it, I am told it lasts about a year. I strongly recommend enrolling yourself in a well reputed grief recovery class – your church should be able to direct you. Seeing a family therapist for a while would be good for you and the girls too.

At this point you must have company every day and some alone time every day. Walk a mile or two every day. Remember to eat. Breathe deeply. Baths help. Keep fresh flowers in your kitchen. Journal. Nap when your children nap. Make no big changes for at least one year. Make an appointment with your primary care physician and take your daughters to the pediatrician – you all need check-ups. Order a dozen copies of the death certificate – you will need to send them to pretty much every entity where you have an account. You need to talk to a lawyer – at least you will need “Letters Testamentary” to change names on accounts or titles of all sorts. Call social security – you are eligible for benefits. Make an appointment with your banker for a sit down talk – bring someone you trust who knows how to manage money with you.

Enlist your family and friends to help you with specific tasks. I know it’s terribly hard to ask for help, but you need it now. Everyone around you wants to help but few will just know what to do and you are probably not tracking well enough to even know what you need. Pick one friend who is very organized and ask her to come to your house once a week to help you with your paperwork and paying the bills – set a specific day each week. I still have a friend coming over every two weeks to just sit with me while I pay the bills. Create your protective network; tell your friends that you need them to show up and you’re going to need it for longer than they might expect.

Grief is. Mourning is the process. Grief doesn’t go away, but mourning lessens and the pain abates. You are not alone.

The first thing I wrote in my grief journal:

How do I grieve from a place of joy or appreciation?
How can my grieving properly honor my husband, our life together, God, and myself?
How do I grieve with honor?
These, I think may well be my essential learning through this process. As yet, I have no answers.

And I'm still working on it!
Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!
God Bless,

M.

God will carry you for awhile until you are strong enough to stand on your own. And that day WILL come. Until then, you just get through each minute, each hour, each day - one at a time. Don't think about tomorrow, think about today. One step at a time. One hurdle at a time.

When you're ready to reach out and gain insight and perspective, I recommend reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, her account of the first year after her husband's death.

Your support network is in place - let it work for you. Let God work for you.

Words won't come close to easing your pain, but I am so very sorry. I will lift you and your girls up in prayer.

S.

Dear G.:

You and your family have my deepest sympathy. I have not walked in your shoes, but understand your pain and loss must be over whelming.

May your faith in God be of comfort to you, as well as your family and friends.

You are in my prayers,

T.

PS - The moms are of great support. Let us know how you are doing. We care.

G.-
Take the time you need to grieve. Your loss is still very new and it will take time to heal and become accustomed to life without your husband. Accept all help offered from friends and family. Take quiet time to reflect. Your children are grieving as well and are too young to understand the concept of what's happened so be patient with them. You will feel sad,angry,grief,afraid,helpless,angry,numb,angry(did i say angry?). All these are normal and part of the healing process.
No words or actions can take the pain away...just know that someday soon, you will be fine. You will. I promise. :)
I lost my Mom unexpectedly when I was young and it took me a long time to be able to cry. I was a very angry little girl for awhile,but time heals. I miss her dreadfully but I feel her with me sometimes. I felt her with me at my graduation,wedding,the birth of my son,...
Your girls will turn out fine. They will be strong and independent. Life for you will be tough at first, but you'll get the hang of it. There is honestly nothing I can say now to make you feel better. I know this. But it WILL get better...it will get easier. And all 3 of you WILL be ok. :)
I'll pray for you and your girls.
In the meantime, many churches offer grief and loss support groups. I think you mentioned already being involved with one at your church. Here is also a very very good one.
http://www.phpc.org/templates/cusprestonhollow/details.as...