Pre K Vs. K

My daughter is 4 and b/c of the lottery drawing the school does, she did not get into school this year. She is on the waiting list, however in Aug. I put her in a daycare pre-k and had major problems!!! So she is home with me, I have been working with her. But I am afraid she will be behind as well! I did just sign her up in another county for pre-k. I was told that as long as it is a GA. pre-k program they all do about the same thing.

Don't rush him. It will catch up with him when puberty hits and then he will suffer tremendously. He can always be in the advanced classes but will socially be with the kids that he fits in with. Been there, done that.

My daughter is in K this year her bday being in December also I would recomend putting him in to prek its not just academics, its socal for the most part.

My son has a Dec 20 birthday and will be going to Kindergarten this fall. I will be actively pursueing the Gifted/Enrichment program for him as he already reads books, adds, subtracts, and thinks outside of the box with answers. I didn't want him enrolled in Kindergarten early. He would be affected socially for many years. He would be the smallest kid in his class to play sports in High School if he chooses and would be the last person to be allowed to get a driver's license in his class. He can always get 'extra' challenge work in his correct grade level.

And to Fran, not every stay at home mom is uneducated and watches soap operas all day long with their kids. I'm proud to take off time from work to spend it with my kids during their formative years (I have both a BS and MS in Engineering).

This one is tricky because you and your husband are at odds about the best option for your child. [Personally, I find that if a child is ahead, he/she should be placed ahead.] In some states he would probably be automatically placed in pre-K, but I am not sure if this is true for your state. [I see nothing wrong with placing your child in a kindergarten classroom because cognitively the average child age 4 and 5 can perform some of the same tasks, but not all.] If he is prepared verbally, mechanically (as in motor skills), and emotionally, I would say go ahead (being smart is not the only criteria for evaluating whether your child would best fit in a k vs. pre-k setting). Discuss this one thoroughly with your husband because if he thinks that you are pushing your child, it may create friction in your relationship. If you get your child's IQ tested, and it turns out that he is performing better than children his age, it may convince your husband of your child's intellectual readiness for kindergarten. But I will again stress that intelligence or ability is not the only criteria to consider. Observe your child, watch his interactions with authority, with other children, and with himself. In addition sit in on a kindergarten class to see if your child's behavior will fit in with the class. You don't want to be wrong on this one because then you will have a very unhappy and dissatisfied child and a resentful husband. Be very careful about what you decide and DO YOUR RESEARCH (this is the best advice I can give).

I know how you feel. We just moved from Michigan and the cut off date there is Dec 1st and here it is Sept 1st and my daughter was born in Oct. So yeah. I am upset that she can't start preschool at 3YEARS OLD! To me that seems wrong. I do intend to do private school for her. She is VERY ready to learn and I dont want her to get bored in school. YOU are the best person to know whether or not he is ready. Also I am a stay at home mom and I think that is the reason both my kids know as much as they do cuz I am able to give them one on one time. The lady who said kids in daycare 'know' more is a little off on that. So soon enough I will be in the same spot as you. I do plan on talking with the private schools in the area and I know in michigan there is a test that kids have to take in order to get into kindergarden. I plan on having her take that test and I will go from there. GOOD LUCK!!!!

i would definately send him to preschool first, that way he gets use to being in a controlled school environment and will not be overwhelmed when he reaches kindergarden. don't rush!

Hi K.! One of my sons is also very smart and now he is 27 years old...I was in a hurry for knidergarden for him...his age was a borderline thing. Could have kept him home another year. Well, I sent him so I could go off to college that year. At the end of the school year his teacher said he was indeed very smart but...socially he wasn't ready for first grade so he spent two years in kindergarden. I don't know if you'll find that this relates to your situation, however, I thought I should write to you. Have a great day! Verlie

Pre K works more on the social behaviours like sharing, takeing turns, talking politely, etc than worrying about ABC and writing. Yes, they will work on those things but not enough where he will be bored in K the following year. My daughter went to Head Start for Pre K and the most writing they did was their ABC, some numbers and their names. Reading consisted of 2 word sentences like Big dog, small cat. It preps them for K!!

Good luck
S.
www.shariegraf.scent-team.com

Please don't send him to kindergarten early. When I was a kid, the cutoff date for kindergarten was Dec. 31 to turn 5. My birthday is Dec. 14, so I started kindergarten at 4. I graduated at 17 and I was always the youngest kid in my class.

Six years later when my brother started school, the cutoff date was earlier in the year, so even though he turned 5 on Dec. 28, he had to wait an "extra" year. He was much more prepared than I was socially and developmentally and he did much better in school than I did.

I think it is better to wait and let him be "bored" than to rush him along. It will do better for his social development to keep him in pre-k. My daughter will be in the same boat, she will turn 5 on 12/5 (though she is only two now) and will be 5 1/2 when she starts kindergarten, but I think that is better.

K.,

You're very aware of your son's abilities and that's great! As a former school teacher, you are the kind of parent that we all want. That kind of involvement will help your son succeed for sure.

In my experience, it's always better to be the oldest in the class, especially with boys. Pre-K and Kindergarten are so much more than just learning how to cut and count. These children are learning life-long lessons; ones that get repeated throughout life.

My advice is to allow your son to go to Pre-K. He will learn a lot of crucial social skills that will help him as he advances in school, especially if he's already bright.

If you notice behavior problems, etc., then speak to the Pre-K teacher about extending lessons for your son. You can always work with him at home or get him involved in an after school program for French or another language.

Remember, your son is too young to know that he should be bored if he's mastered a concept. It's such a boost for a child to understand directions and to be the shining star of the class. Put him in Pre-K and let him shine!

One more thing. As an elementary school educator, I know that a sense of accomplishment and success in school is absolutely key for future success.

Good Luck!

Just my thoughts. I don't know your son. If he's Doogie Howser, maybe push him to excel. But, if he's just a smart kid, I would hesitate to push. I would definitely put him in preschool. Kids learn more than just curriculum in preschool. It's the time to learn social lessons like waiting your turn to talk, listening to the teacher and accepting his/her authority, socializing with other kids in a classroom setting, sitting down at a desk and doing your work despite that the really fun kid to play with is an arm's reach away... I would not skip pre-K. I think, once your son is in Kindergarten or first grade, you can discuss with the teachers about whether or not advancing is a good option.

Another thing to consider: it's much easier to find school easy than to struggle to keep up. Also, for boys, it's easier socially to be the bigger and older than to be smaller and younger than the rest of the class.

I feel you on this. Our 4 year old (December b'day) has been in pre-k this year at a local church. She is very advanced for her age and while she hasn't really learned anything new (understands calendars and clocks now) the social aspect has been our greatest benefit. My 4 year old is not an only child, but having friends to play with in an atmosphere where she has to share, has a set time where she has to sit still, is learning to wait her turn (in line and to speak) - have been valuable lessons that seemed to be better taught by someone other than this mommy.

~A.

K., I would never recommend that you send your son to Kindergarten a year early. I, too have a December baby who is VERY bright. I started her in Kindergarten when she was almost six. She was already reading and writing at a 2nd grade level and I would not change a thing. She has thrived in school and has been in Venture (the gifted program) since the beginning. Your son may be very bright, but he also needs to be mature enough, too. Even though it seems like a great idea now, will he be ready for third grade at seven? He can always skip grades later if he is ready. You can work with his K teacher to keep him challenged and busy, I have never had a teacher that wouldn't find my daughter extra projects. You can also talk with the Venture teachers to have him evaluated. Take your time, it is a HUGE decision.

I'm a certified teacher and have taught p-k. I now test students to find out what level they are working on. I think if you want to put him in K at is fine but I would have him tested first. I would also talk to the school cons. because maturity plays a big role in the up coming grades. The work maybe easy for him at first but as the year goes on work will get harder. It is a tough, but I think you care enough about your children that if you see he needs help you do what can to help him. I do think pre-k at the school he will go to K. at will help the movement into K. He will have friends, know the teachers and be familiar with the school and rules.

Good luck

I think your husband is right. My little boy went to a church based pre-k program and then to kindegarten. However he was bored in Kindegarten b/c it was a repeat of what he had already done in pre-k. His teacher said at the end of the year if I pushed he could be placed in 2nd grade with no problem, but I let him just continue on to 1st. This way since boys since to mature slower than girls later in other grades he should be right on track. He is very smart, but I left him with his friends that he has had since starting the pre-k 3yr. old program. I do not think you would regret this.

Don't rush him just because of his birthday my son turned 4 sept 7, 2007 and I felt next school year he really should be in kindergarten to be honest with you it will be a mistake and I realize now that I have been a sub teacher in his pre-k class what a mistake I'd be making rushing him having him tested and placing him to early. It's far better to be the big fish then the little fish in the pond a doctor told me that on holding back my oldest son I am now happy I listened to him. It would be better to place him where he should be due to him age and give him a chance he can always move up a grade later if he's that bored once he's in school you can move him up a grade. Boys mature later and to be fair to him let him be a little boy and a chance to learn and socialize.

I had the same dilemna with my bright little girl who's birthday is in mid-November. The child was reading at 4 and incredibly social. I had wanted to manipulate the system and get her into school at 4, but we decided to let the system dictate. It turns out to be a good decision in the public school system. She's in 2nd grade and is ahead of the class, always has been, but that makes it easier on the teachers who are expected to run huge classrooms full of children not on the same level. The schools offer gifted programs and accelerated reading, which allow her to experience advanced situations. Obviously, private school is a great option and will definitely solve your dilemna, but that also creates other issues. Hope this gives a little insight from experience. Good luck with your decision -- it is NEVER easy!

Our son was in "daycare" for "preschool" but graduated from "preschool" he learned so much that putting him in public kindergarten was out of the question. So we put him in private. The one he goes to, if the child learns all the K material, they move them on up to the next grades material. They will never hold a child back!
Yes it is also about socializing but if the child is bored, they may not make any friends either due to acting up due to being bored.
We for the most part LOVE the private school and our son has learned a lot from the school.

I don't know much about the schools now, but I skipped pre-k 25 years ago. I started pre-k but was bored, so my parents had me moved up. I remember being scared of the new kids and teacher, but I adjusted fine. I excelled through the rest of the grades and always took advanced classes. I was always younger than my friends, but that didn't matter.
I would talk to a school counsellor with my husband, maybe have my child tested, and be sure that you both agree on the decision. If he does really well, or less than perfect, in the future, you don't want to blame each other...

Where we live Kindergarden is a lot more structured than 4k. If he can't handle sitting still for a long time this might be a problem. In 4K they keep them going from one activity to another as their attention span is still not that long. In kindergarden they tend to spend a lot of time on one thing. It will surprise you how much a childs attention span can grow in one year. I would just look for a more advanced 4K. Also he may always feel like the "baby in the class if you advance him. Just some things I thought you should keep in mind.

My son is in the same situation too, I contacted the school district. Since he turned 4 after the cut off date Septemeber 1, he will have to wait until 2009 to start school. The schools started this year by only taking people who qualify to go on their reduce lunch program and who have medicare, there isnt any testing involved anymore since the new law passed.

My second son has an August birthday and we struggled with the K vs Pre-K issue ourselves. He officially made the cutoff for the school by one week so we went ahead and enrolled him in K with the understanding that if he had problems we would repeat K. We didnt see any problems in school or socially until middle school. By then, his immaturity came out detrimentally with a lot of social and academic issues. By then though it was too late. The school would not support our request to hold him back since he was passing (barely) and it would make the school look bad. Now my previous honor roll child is in high school and is doing okay but he struggles socially and is enrolled in the regular curriculum.

For a boy, being the oldest in his class is better than being the youngest and one of the smallest in the higher grades.

Do what you think best for your child but don't push him too hard. There is plenty of time for pushing him later on!

Hi K.,

I have a 16 year old who is a junior in high school who is the youngest in his group of friends. We never even considered holding him back becuase of his age (he has an August b-day) but my husband always said that when he got to high school the age difference will really start to show. Although he is a big kid now (6'1") he struggled as a Middle Schooler and a Freshman being physically behind his friends in sports. (Most of his friends are close to an entire year older than him.) And sometimes he'll get upset about being the youngest in his group when it comes to driving (he is not past his mandatory probationary waiting period where kids are allowed to have another kid in the car.) I know it seems pretty far off for you, but it is something to consider. I always thought my husband was being ridiculous when he mentioned that our son could struggle in sports, but he was right. And sports are very important to our son. Academically, he has no problems. And the schools offer enough advanced classes that he has always been challenged throughout his years. And its true that boys do mature slower than girls (I actually have 3 boys.) You certainly don't want him to be bored, but the decision to move him up with kids older than him may make a difference later in life. Just my thoughts - hope they help and good luck with your decision.

My daughter was also a Dec. birthday. She was very smart and if we would have asked them to test her she would have been accepted in KG early. But, we decided to let her have fun for one more year. After all, what's the rush. They have many years of schooling ahead. Since she started school she has been the top of her class. I would leave him in Pre-K one more year. He may be very smart but in KG maturity also plays a big part.

I also have two children,now 7 and 10, both have Dec. birthdays. Both attended Pre-K and then Kindergarten. I am a strong believer in education(I have dual degrees-nursing and teaching and have utilized both) for preparation. Studies have shown that boys typically mature at a slower rate and a push now may hurt him later. However, if you are not pleased with the program the school you are currently sending your child to is offering is does make sense to look at another source. You could also consider that your child having a early/later birthday is a plus ( that how I always looked at it) depending on how you phrase it because you child will gain in other areas if you just leave him. Hope this helps.

My granddaughter just turned 3 in December and i have to admit that she is very smart. Since she was one, she has been moved up to the next class several months prior to her birthday. She is more advance than her classmates in daycare. She will be 4 December and unfortunately will not be able to go to pre K until next fall. I know she will be ready this year but because of the school laws you must be 4 on or before Sep 1. I have always been an advocate of testing before a child started school to see if they are ready. Children that are in a "learning" environment (daycare) are more ready than a child who stays home and is only exposed to soap operas and no teaching environment. Two of my children had late birthdays (according to our state laws). One was Sept 21 and the other one was Sep 4 (3 days late). I knew she was ready for school so I decided to start her in school in my home state (N.C.) since we were military and were in the process of relocating from Germany to GA. I decided to stay in N.C. until she was enrolled in school for a month and then transferred her to GA. With my other child I did enroll her in a private school to keep her up with her age group. Sometimes kids may be smart or advance but their maturity level may not be completly up to par. I would enroll your child in Pre K and talk with the teachers and watch his progress. It may be that they will put him in advance classes or gifted classes.

It's hard to answer this question without knowing you son, but I can tell you that it is usually best to hold children with late birthdays (especially boys) back. It gives them a chance to mature which, as research shows, benefits them all the way into high school and college. Furthermore, he may not necessarily already know everything that is being taught in Pre-K. In my Pre-K class children who are a little ahead are challenged to expand their vocabularies by learning words such as nocturnal and diurnal, and are encourage to learn to read sight words. They also explore many science concepts, and have the opportunity to develop critical and creative thinking skills that aren't necessarily focused on in kindergarten. I hope this helps you with your difficult decision. I am sure you will make the best decision for your son :)

I would suggest waiting and putting him in pre-k instead of kindergarten in the fall. I have a son whose birthday is in September. We were in Ohio at the time and their cut-off was the end of September. I went ahead and put him in and he was behind once he hit the first grade. I know you said your son is very smart but he may not be mature enough to go straight into kindergarten yet. As he gets older, he will be behind the other kids in everything such as development and they will be doing things before him. I feel like my son isn't behind his classmates right now, but once he goes into high school he will be. He did catch up academically in second grade and makes good grades now. But he has always had to keep up with everyone else. If I could go back, I would've waited to put him in school. My yougest son is the opposite. His birthday is in October and he's one of the oldest. He is doing excellent in everything in school and I've never had any problems with him as far as reading and homework goes. I've always heard that boys need an extra year anyway. I found that out after the oldest was already in school. I feel like your husband is right on this one. Your son might be ahead of everyone else and that's a good thing. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

I'd have to agree with your husband. My son just turned 5 in December and is in a "4 year old class" in preschool. He knew all of the academics he needed for Kindergarten by the end of last year, but it's so much more about socialization and maturity. I don't think my son is intelectually challenged in preschool this year, but he's having a blast with his friends. I think he'll be able to hit the ground running in September in Kindergarten. My husband wanted me to see if it was possible to get him into public Kindergarten early and I was very relieved when I was told they followed the age cut-offs strictly so that I could avoid the argument!

Send him to school. Unless the center can guarantee that they will not change curriculum and will indeed be teaching on the same level, same standards as the school. Otherwise it may be harder for you son to transistion from daycare life to school life. It is also fun, they get to get their own bookbags and all. He might actually enjoy his newfound freedom.

Hi K.-
I wondered about this myself last year. My son will be 4 in April and he too seems to be advanced for his age. I put him in pre-k two days a week last year. Even though he already knew the curriculum, he got to see things in a different way from another source. Also, after much thought and talking to friends & family, I have decided not to rush him through school. By waiting to send your son, he would also benefit in later years by being a little bit older physically to play sports. A lot of the pre-k programs are as much about being social and following directions as they are about learning. I would continue teaching your bright son at home the things he is ready for and not rush him through the school system. Let him be a child for as long as you can! Hope this helps!

(Also - Note to Fran. I stay home with my kids and I do NOT watch soap operas and it appears that both of my kids are extremely bright despite not being in daycare. My husband & I both have college degrees and are perfectly capable of teaching our children ourselves.)
A.

K. -

You have received some great advice. Both my children have November and December birthdays. I felt the same way you do when my oldest was 4. I took everyone's advice and kept her back. It was the BEST decision ever. Look ahead to the future, when your child goes away to college he will be more mature. My daughter was 19 when she left for college last year. It was hard enough for us because we have such a close relationship, but I think it would have been harder had she been a year younger.

Good Luck

D.