Potty Training Issues - Cumming, GA

I had the same problem with my middle daughter, somewhere around age 3. My pediatrician recommended that we go in stages: (1) when it's time to poop, he has to go into the bathroom to poop. He can sit anywhere he wants, squat, whatever, in his diaper, but it has to be in the bathroom. (2) after a few days, change so he has to sit on the toilet, with the seat closed, in his diaper, when he poops (3) after a few more days, he has to sit on the toilet with the seat open, but can still wear his diaper. (4) last step should be obvious by now! It was about 8 years ago, so I don't remember exactly how long it took, but it worked like a charm. Probably took about 2 weeks or so. Good luck!

My son had the same issues, I could hardly get him to poop in the potty and he to became constipated. I took him to the doctor and come to find out his bottom had a little tear and it would hurt him everytime he went poop. The doctor gave me some medicine to help soften his stools and after a few weeks he stoped pooping in his pants. Hope this helps and good luck.

My oldest (13 now) went thru this. It did become a power struggle, which led him to be classified as a "fecal hoarder", holding it for as long as 2 wks, although usually less than a week. We used enemas on him when he got backed up. The problem with them constantly holding it in is that the area that holds the poop gets stretched out, and then their body doesn't even signal to them that they need to poop until that is "full", which, by then, means that it's compacted and can't get out. Try making banana bread with a cup of Fiber-All Extra Fiber cereal - add the cereal to the mashed bananas and let it sit for 10 min or so, so the cereal is mushy, then mix it with the rest of the ingredients. This bread is pretty powerful stuff, so don't eat it unless you're near a potty! We also had to give him mylanta daily for a yr - kept in the fridge b/c it tastes better cold. This helped his "poop cavity" to shrink back to normal. Good luck with this - I know it's a struggle - for child and parent alike!

Look at Dr. Rosemond's column for this week (www.rosemond.com). He deals with this exact issue.

Hi S.,
My son was not potty-trained (pee or poop) until the week he turned 4. Your pediatrician is right--you have to wait until he is ready. We got to the point where he would actually cry every time we mentioned it. Then one day he said he was potty-trained and, lo and behold, he was! All in one day! He just decided it & he went to bed in big-boy underwear that very night!
The only thing that might help you is to find the right motivator. Obviously candy, stickers, & toys are not your son's best motivators. When we toured my son through his new pre-K school & told him he wouldn't be able to go there until he was potty-trained, that's when he finally came to us & said he was potty-trained.
You're doing the right thing to back off a bit. If you find a good motivator, then make a very subtle move & use it to your advantage.
Good luck!
Susan

S.,

We had the exact same issue with my son. He wanted a diaper for poopie more many, many months after being able to use the toilet for urinating. We are very child centered and believed he would do it when ready (he just woke up one day and decided he wanted underwear and used the potty for peeing ever since...no issue, he was ready). We figured the same for poopie...but noooo. After what seemed like a year of finding a diaper every time, he asked for a diaper one day and I just said no. I took him into the bathroom and sat quietly there and requested he use the toilet. He cried and cried (until I was sure I was doing major harm). I explained calmy he was ready, he could do it---and we could stay in the bathroom all night if needed. We stayed there for at least 20 or 30 minutes. He finally used the potty and never again asked for a diaper. It really did happen this way. (By the way, he is the strongest willed child you will ever met, so I was a bit amazed myself that this worked in on sitting.) It is rare I "force" my child to do anything like this--but I knew he was ready. No problems since then and he is now 5...he was 3, almost 4 at the time.

Hi S..

My daughter was the same way. She turned 4 in November and she is just now going poop on the potty on a regular basis. It was a HUGE power struggle for us.

We put Miralax in her milk every morning. It's not a stimulant or laxative. It just makes the stool easier for them to push out. that helped us a lot since she would hold it and get constipated.

We made a HUGE deal when she would poop on the potty. I got a bunch of items from the Dollar Tree and the $1spot at Target. I wrapped them in tissue paper and put them in a box. She got to pick a prize every time she pooped on the potty. It worked for her because she wanted to poop so she could see what was in the wrapped packages.

I totally know what you are going through. I hope it gets better. I think taking a step back is probably your best approach right now.

C.
MOmmy to Allie (4) and Ryan (2.5)

I had the same trouble with my middle son. He was urine trained and would ask for a pull up when it was time to do the deed. After he had not gone for a week we saw the doctor. Who said that we should back off but, give him phillips original milk of magnesia. He said it just keeps water around the bowel and makes it a softer poo. He said it is safe, it does not cause cramps and he could take it for a full year if my son needed it. I started off by giving him a teaspoon in the morning and then a teaspoon at night. The doctor said I could increase it up to as much as 3 teaspoons in the morning and 3 teaspoons at night. Just increase it slowly so you don't cause diarrhea. I also kept the little toys around so when he did finally go to the pottey. We had a small party and I let him called all the grandparents to let them know he was potty trained. It worked out great. Hope it helps.

I went through the exact same thing with my little boy (will be 4 in April). It went on for more than 7 months. He got spooked the first time he pooped on the potty (around age 2½) and completely refused after that. I tried EVERYTHING and finally did, what you are doing now, stepped back and let him decide, when it was ok to go. I explained to him that it was ok, if he wanted to wait and to tell me, if he wanted a diaper, so he could go (he would hold it up to 3 days, if the timing wasn't right with him wearing a diaper for nap- and night time. After that it took about two weeks, and then one day out of the blue, he decided that it was ok. The first time, he sat on the toilet for almost 2 hours - he insisted, I didn't pressure him at all. And for the following week, it would take anything between a half hour to 1½ hour for him to go, once he sat on the potty, but he went and was rewarded (I had tried rewards before and it didn't help either). After that, he went right away, when he needed to go (still got a present each time to keep the ball rolling!). So my advice is to let it go for a while - try not to mention it at all, no matter how difficult that is). And know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and he will eventually go!!!! All the best of luck!!!!

I would start by dumping any poop he does in a diaper into the potty. cause thats where it goes in the potty you need to make sure he knows that. then from there see if that helps. Everytime my son goes in the potty he gets a package of gummy snacks. thats what works for us.