Possible over Reacting?

what about the human body is so horrible that babies' eyes must be shielded?
i think people who are this paranoid about body bits are weird.
my husband prefers modesty and doesn't walk around naked, even in front of me for the most part. i think bodies are bodies, and that penises and breasts are no more inherently titillating than elbows and calves, and have to remind myself to put clothes on if people are coming over.
yes, i think you're drastically over-reacting.
khairete
S.

General rule of thumb? If the child notices it and is uncomfortable, time to stop being so "free" with the nudity.
She's little enough that its not doing her any harm.

I don't think it's a problem, but I would want to know when he's going to stop it. I mean, seriously, if that's how it is from the start, how will he determine that she is old enough to understand -- when she reaches a particular age? When she asks what that flippy-flappy thing is (that's the question my daughter asked when bathing with my son when we realized it was time to stop)? My philosophy is "start as you mean to go" - if you don't intend to show the goods when she's five, don't show the goods now.

ETA: That's really interesting about his mom -- I would think he would get that you share the feelings he had about her nudity as a child. My husband and I change in front of each other, but we're a pretty modest family -- the kids don't see us naked and while they might sometimes see him in his boxers, they don't ever see me in my underwear. That's just not how we are...

And by the way, I remember very clearly showering with my grandmother -- I was very young, probably about 3; my daughter remembers details of the day her brother was born that my husband and I forgot -- she was 2; and my son remembers a lot of details from the day my brother-in-law got married. He was also 2. So memories start earlier than we think they do. Certainly she won't remember 7 months, but at what point those memories kick in is different for each person. That's why I say, start as you mean to go. Then there is no issue.

I don't see the problem. Your husband isn't being sexual in front of your daughter, just nude. If he were uncomfortable with it then that's a different matter. He would cover up in front of her. But it's his own child and his own bed room. Why should he alter his normal behavior in front of a 7 month old as if he were doing something dirty or shameful?

EDIT: He doesn't "get it" from his mother... he's coming from the bathroom into his own bedroom, not flaunting his business all over the house. There IS a difference. It's not like he's shaking his junk in his daughter's face. You ARE over-reacting, and that's why his feelings are rightly hurt. He had his mother at one extreme, and you're at the other extreme. He's actually comfortably in the middle where it's appropriate.

Hm. That's interesting that you are bothered by this. We don't have many issues with nudity in our family I guess...it's just bodies. If one of our kids accidentally walks in on us changing clothes it is not a big deal. There is nothing wrong with your 7 month old seeing her dad naked. There is nothing wrong with it if she does notice. It's just a body and we all have them. That's just my opinion. One day when she is older she might want privacy and then her dad will have to respect that...but you are not there yet.

My boys are 12 and 9 and I still change if they are in the room. My husband doesn't hide away while my 3.5 year old daughter is in the room either.
Changing clothes is such a non-deal in our house, as is showering or going to the bathroom or me breast feeding younger siblings.
There is absolutely nothing sexual about any of it, it is just taking care of basic things.
My kids don't stare or oogle because we never made a big deal of it. It's just what needs to be done. When they noticed the different bits we told them what they all were, matter of factly, and that was the end of it.
None of us parade around the house naked, but we will go from the bathroom to the bedroom wrapped in a towel after a shower if we realize we forgot something like a pair of underwear to change into.
And..at 7 months...they're not noticing anything anyway. It wasn't until closer to 2 that my kids started noticing.

I think you are totally overreacting.

The issue with nudity is your issue. Not your husband's, his mother's or your daughter's. Instead of trying to figure out why your husband is so casual about *gasp* being naked in his own home, maybe you should spend your time figuring out why it bothers you so much.

I don't think it's a big deal. She's a baby. He's her dad. Why make it out to be like it's so shameful? Our bodies are natural...I'm not saying he should parade naked around the house all the time, but a quick change isn't a big deal. When she's older, that's different.

This is not an issue for your child. Why is it an issue for you? Think about this. Nudity is not a big deal. There is nothing sexual going on. If that is something that is on your mind, ask yourself why. Try to figure out why it's an issue.

You don't have to worry about nudity until the child notices.

ADD: There is a difference between casual nudity - which from this question it sounds like (totally normal to get out of the shower and not rush to not be naked) vs. what his mother did which was exhibitionism and staying naked regardless of company, etc. Your husband is "appropriately" naked. He is changing his clothes and need not be ashamed. From your description, he is not parading around the house all morning long, windows open, etc. This is not his issue, it's yours. It's ok to have different comfort levels with nudity, but discomfort with a NORMAL level should be examined with some introspection. Believe me, I know.

Good lord! what do you remember from when you were seven months old?

Really people are amazed I remember stuff from before I was two and even then those memories where when I was getting into mischief.

My rule of thumb, right or wrong, was it was not a big deal until that age when they actually noticed you were naked.
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Oh my word, after reading your what happened, you have the issues not him! Getting out of the shower and cooling off a bit and drying before you try to drag clothes over damp skin is not being casual about your nudity, that is normal behavior.

If anything his mother's behavior would put him more on the conservative side with nudity. Sorry but you seem to have a very warped sense of what is normal.

Sorry but you are the one who chooses to keep the child in his bedroom while he changes. What do you want him to do? Change in the closet? In the humid bathroom so his clothes stick to him and give him wedgies? Seriously, get a grip, if it bugs you then take her somewhere else but it is his bedroom first!

Really? She is 7 months old. Yes, I think you are over thinking things. Now if she were 7 years old, another story.

I certainly hope you are not this rigid about nudity because when your daughter gets older she'll notice this trait and then you run the risk of her viewing her body as dirty, etc . That in turn will damage her as an adult.

Why does nudity bother you so much?

Just another something to ponder.

It sounds like it is your problem. If you just go about your business she won't think much about the human anatomy. But if you make an issue it will become an issue.

Take it another step further it is a cultural thing. You would have come unglued by an ad in a German magazine that showed the whole family in the tub and another with the mom getting out of the shower.

As others have said he is in his own home and he should be able to walk around in the nude if he wishes and so should you. Time to get over your inhibitions. Remember you did give birth and there were people all aroud you.

the other S.

I don't see a problem. I do see a problem that you are so uncomfortable with nudity. It may lead to your daughter becoming uncomfortable about nudity and her own body. Of course this would be years into the future so you have plenty of time to get more comfortable.

Get over your issues surrounding nudity. Your child is 7 months old. If you don't like the way your husband is casual about nudity then that is something you should've brought up prior to marriage and children. You are way over thinking things.

You need to ask yourself WHY it bothers you. Are you embarrassed about nudity? Are you insecure about your own nakedness?

Honestly, it's healthy to show children that there is no shame in our bodies. My son is 6, and while it happens less and less and boundaries are being formed, he still sees me naked or half-dressed. It's just not a big deal, and I want him to understand that the naked body is nothing to be ashamed of. The more normal we portray it, the more normal it will be for him when he's older.

Just like breastfeeding....

I do not see a problem with it at all. She is 7 months old. Pick your battles.
He is at ease with it. What will happen when she is a bit older and walks in
On one of you. Trust me it will happen

It is not a big deal. Many cultures do nude bathing in large pools. It's pretty much an american hang up from what I read on here.

If it bothers you then I suggest you, and the baby, give hubby privacy when he's in the shower. Then you're not in the bedroom when he's changing. It's not like you want him to go in the living room or kitchen and get dressed is it? Those would be the rooms you could be in so he could have privacy in the bathroom and bedroom when it's time for his bathing time.

I have no issues with it, but I have a boy and people seem to think differently with boys vs girls. There is nothing wrong with the human body, I think when she gets older obviously it will be an issue, however I see not problem with it now. If you make too big a deal of it then how big of a deal are you going to make the rest of her sex education?

I don't think you want any answer except one that agrees with you. Nearly everyone said to get over it and it's no big deal, but you chose to communicate in your "so what happened?" only to the person that has the same thoughts as you do. Why not consider the other opinions since they seem to be the majority?

Everyone is different.
And it is also cultural.

For us, my kids are 6 and 10. Son is 6 daughter is 10.
Since they were born, like Katerina A. below, we change clothes. If my kids are in the room too. We don't flaunt or parade around. It is just changing clothes. Or getting out of the shower. We don't flaunt or parade around or make a spectacle of it.
It is just things people do, like brushing teeth.
BUT sure, there is modesty and my kids' cues, and we go by that too.
And my kids know, what privacy is and what their body parts are, and what privates are and the inappropriate things we as parents teach them per "strangers" and whatnot etc. And my kids know the difference.

Per your Husband, once your daughter gets to a certain age.. he will have to HEED TO YOUR daughter and her comfort level for nakedness and modesty and her right to her own privacy. AND he will need to respect, that.
So, as a couple, you BOTH need to talk about that.
These are developmental things, in any child. That a parent has to be aware of.

It's not anything to worry about until they are potty trained which will be a good many years yet.
For the most part people have no memory of much of anything before their 7th birthday.
You are over reacting.

That's years younger than I started to worry about it. Look at it this way, kids up till age 3 or 4 are allowed in opposite sex locker rooms bc they're oblivious until then.

First child, huh?

It's no biggie until about 5. That's when everyone else stops with the nudity - give or take a couple years.

yes, there are those that change and shower w/ children through high school.

And yes, there are those children who have never seen their parents even in their underwear.

Those are the two ends of the spectrum, with the majority being "meh".

Relax. Wait until he picks your daughters nose with his fingers!

If he or she are uncomfortable, change what he does. At 7 mo. old, she barely realizes she has feet, let alone what anyone else looks like. My DH didn't start keeping DD out when he was changing til she was 4 and then it was just a subtle shift around the time we also reminded her about her own privacy (she goes to preschool now). I think she's too young to care. Do YOU prefer not to change in front of her? If you are a more private person, you may choose to do differently. Make sure you are addressing issues IN YOUR HOME vs what MIL did at some point in the past.

I'd say your over thinking it. I wasn't uncomfortable around my son until just recently and he's 4.5. The past few months we've started teaching about privacy etc. But it all depends on your comfort level. If you aren't comfortable with it then ask that he not undress in front of her.

I think you are over reacting. It is okay for the opposite sex parent to change in front of the child until they are old enough to notice and they are/or they are uncomfortable about it.

I think you're overreacting. She's 7 months old, not 7 years old. I mean, it is his room, too and he should be comfortable in it. Is it possible to upgrade to a 2 bedroom? I can't imagine that any of you have the privacy you want & need all sharing a 1 bedroom.

We never worried about nudity issues until two yrs old. Even then we knew it wasn't a big deal unless we made a big deal, it was just the arbitrary number we agreed on.

No big deal until abt 4.

You have two questions here: 1) whether your husband should appear in the altogether in view of your baby daughter, and 2) whether your husband should respect your request because it's your request. Some husbands would.

All other things being equal, at seven months your daughter is too young to be affected by her daddy's dressing and undressing. But you could tell your husband that it won't be long until that won't be acceptable any more, so he might want to practice for that time. ;^)