Overbearing Future Mother-In-Law

MILs are like black bears. If they attack you, they mean to eat you, so you must fight them back. That's been my experience with mine. If I were you, I'd remind her that Riley is MY child, and she better start showing some respect if she wants to be part of her granddaughter's life. You have every right not to send your child off to someone who might say things like that in front of her. You are not obligated to give in to ANY of her demands with regard to your daughter. Grandpareting is a privilege, not a right. This is just my two cents. If you don't demand respect now and refuse to let her trample you in the hope of keeping the peace, she will ALWAYS expect to be able to walk all over you.

I think the gifts are nice gestures on her part, but as far as the demands on time and telling you you're not good enough for her son, that's just not right. Your fiance should not let that happen EVER. He should know that if he won't check his mom, you're going to have to do it.

.....LF

Honestly, I would just tell her the truth about how you feel. I mean, not rudley, think about how to say it in the least mean way, as to not hurt her feelings, but personally I feel that honesty is the best solution.
Prehaps she may even see it from your point of view.
And if she doesn't...
Too bad. She's your kid. You're the Mom!
So, it's your rules!

Oh my, if this is a "problem" of yours; I envy you. Be THANKFUL that you have family around who is willing/able and wanting to help out. So what if she buys bibs!?!? Put it into perspective, it's a bib! Like someone said, worry & fight about the important things (food). I have 2 children (3 and 7 months) and my husband & I have had 1 day to ourselves since my son was born 7 months ago and don't get me started on time I've had to myself. Let your MIL take your daughter when she wants and take advantage of it! Some people aren't so lucky. Good luck, I think you just need to grin & bear it.

I hate to tell you but I totally agree with Tracy. You don't get to choose your family and they wll always be your family. Take advantage of her wanting to take your daughter for the day! Have great sex all day!!! I live with my in-laws and can get VERY frustrated but they are my family! I vent when necessary and move on. Life is too short.

My mom was the one the one that got on my nerves with my first. My first is now 11 and I can't remember anything about bibs. I wish I had such problems. My mom called my children her babies. which would drive me crazy. The thing is my mom is a huge blessing even though when I first became a mom she got on my last nerve. My children are now 11, 9 & 5. I am having major surgery in a few days and my Mom is going to have to live with us for a while. As much as she gets on my nerves sometime, I need her and I am so thankful to have her. Before my first was born and even after when i wanted to go off on her about things like holiday clothes or bibs I may have ruined a relationship that is very important. Pick your battles. In the long run it doesn't matter who buys what for your daughter the important thing is that your daughter had a loving family who cares for her. How blessed she is that people are fighting over taking care of her.

Cassandra,
I couldn't have said it any better than Tracy. I totally agree with her.

Blessings
J. F.

Cassandra,

OK, you have no idea how good you have it! If someone wants to buy gifts for your baby, and you can save your money for yourself, or a college fund, say THANK YOU. If you have free babysitting, say THANK YOU. If you have a MIL who is proud of her granddaughter and wants to show her off, SMILE. Throw your superstitions out the window, and give this woman a hug! How can you not love someone who loves your precious daughter so much? Give the nice lady with the large heart and generous expense account a "Wish List" of what you *would* like her to buy for baby girl. Make plans for Grandma to babysit while you go on a date with your man, or go out with the girls, or go to the library, or just anything to have some time to yourself.

I have no family in the area, I have no free babysitting, I haven't had a date with my husband since last Christmas, and I hardly have any time to myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, because I chose to have children on purpose, but I still need some *me* time.

Make friends with this woman, and appreciate all the wonderful things you have, and can have, with her. You have a true blessing there, and just haven't recognized it.

Best wishes,
K.

It sounds like you may just not like her in general, so any little thing she does pushes your buttons. I would understand after hearing her say you would never be good enough for her son. As the women below said just be grateful she does what she does and overlook the little things. If you're gonna marry your boyfriend she'll be family forever so get used to how she is.

I would take a deep breath and think "she won't be doing this when the kids are in high-school" by that time kids can voice their own opinions. I would also take advantage of the babysitting and go see a movie. This might be because I had younger siblings and babysat for my mom constantly....
As for not being good enough for her son. I hate it when mothers say that. I think it proves that they don't know their son!!!! No man is perfect.