This is a first for me. My daughter goes to a place that caters to afterschool programs. She is three so she only goes to parent/teacher classes. I don't really know how it works for the older kids, I see some of them in classes and some just run around willy nilly. There are workers there that patrol the area and lead classes, but the kids do not have constant supervision.
There is a area that is a few stories high that has a slide, stairs and tubes (think like the ones at Chuck E Cheese). This is kinda of a "free" area and there is usually not a supervising worker. The past few times we have been there, there has been on kid that is kinda a bully to the other kids. The first time I saw him he was growling and roaring at the other kids. He scared one boy so bad he started to cry and ran away. He does it, then yells, I'm just playing, as the kid is running off. This seems to be a pattern, be mean to the other kids till they are upset and then say, "I'm just playing."
He got in my daughters face and growled, (Mind you he is about 7-8) and it scared her. She looked at me and I told her, "Just go around him and ignore him. There is no reason to be scared." I made sure he could hear me.
He tells me, "I'm protecting her." So I tell him not to, I'm her mom and that's my job. He then tried to stop her from going down the slide. My daughter said, 'Excuse me" and he still refused to let her go down. So again I stepped in, "This is a play place for everyone, if she wants to go down the slide, she can." He left her alone after that.
Yesterday, again in this area, she was sliding and playing with some other kids. It was time to get her for her class, so I went up the first three steps to collect her. As we are coming down this kid gets right in her face and growls. My daughter shrinks back, and I say, "Hey, you do not need to growl in her face, that is not appreciated." He totally ignores me and continues to growl at her blocking our way.
So I raise my voice, not yelling, but in the I mean business voice. "Excuse me. You need to get out of our way, now." I made him jump like ten feet by raising my voice. We proceed down and leave. Let me tell you I have had it. I meant to talk to one of the workers there before we left, but right about then my daughter was running around like a crazy person and we were trying to corral her, and it slipped my mind.
So here's what I need to know. Next time we go should I go directly to one of the "teachers" or should I wait and see how this kid behaves next time? Part of me wants to wait until he does it again and make him come with me, part of me thinks I should do this in private. What do you think?
It truly does sound like he's just playing. He doesn't understand that the way he plays scares the smaller children. He's young too and doesn't understand that this is inappropriate for younger children. What he's doing would probably be just fine with kids his own age.
I suggest that you tell one of the teachers the next time you're there. You don't have to wait until he does it again. He needs some supervision and teaching about appropriate behavior.
I, too, don't understand the lack of supervision. This is at a school or more like a community center or ? Either way, children need to always be supervised.
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J.B.
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Boston
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I would go to one of the staff members. I am having a hard time figuring out why this place thinks it's acceptable to have groups of children unsupervised. My kids go to an enrichment/activity center that has parent and baby/toddler classes, pre-school and after-school programs. They have children there ages birth to 14 and there is never, ever a group of kids without supervision, even in areas that are designed for free play and not formal activity or instruction. A staff member really should be monitoring that area and supervising the children and he or she can address this boy's behavior as it happens.
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☼.S.
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Los Angeles
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It's a big problem that there is an unsupervised play area. Big no no. On to your question, don't wait for it to happen again. Bring your concern immediately to the supervisors, since it has already happened several times. They need to get a handle on this kid pronto. Good luck.
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N.C.
answers from
Rockford
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I guess I am a little confused here...if she is 3, this seems to be an unsafe environment that is not properly supervised, why do you keep taking her back? (you say she is in a class w/ parent/teacher support, so is she only in the play area when you are w/ her?) Are you staying w/ her the whole time just so she can play and be socialized? If not, it's definitely time to move on. You need to find a center or at home daycare that caters to smaller children and is better supervised!
Saying something to the workers there may help, but chances are, if this is how things are run, nothing will change. Sounds like a law suit waiting to happen. If you feel your daughter is in danger or that nothing will change, it's time to move on. Good luck!
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M.P.
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Minneapolis
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well do both, I would never confront a 7 year old. He obviously isnt bothered by the consequences, I am pretty confident your not the only parent having issues with this. If he didnt listen to you the first few times you corrected him, I think its home values... So tell a teacher or watcher, then tell a teacher or watcher to WATCH these kids. This is scary news if no one is supervising or saying anything to a 7 year old, allowed to run amok the younger kids. Nothing like being way older, way bigger, and way more "important" that the rest.... breeds trouble. Then after you tell, if he continues, I would just be firm and matter of fact with him, never touch, never yell. Just be firm and direct. "Like, _____ listen what your doing is NOT acceptable. IF you do it again I WILL tell your parents" never lose your cool, this kid sounds like he enjoys it. Parents may NOT be aware he is doing it. They may not care either, but till you know for sure, no assumptions are to be made.
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C.C.
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Houston
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My experience with afternoon school programs held at the school. The children are far from being supervised like they should be. Twice I went to pick up my grandson and he was out of the area...down a hall using the restroom....alone. Now the front door of the school remains open for parents picking up children. A man could have come in that front door and hid in the bathroom. Catch my drift? My daughter confronted the workers and said she never wants him to go to the bathroom alone with out an adult. Just way too many children for any kind of structure.
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K.L.
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Sacramento
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Baaaggghhhh! Sometimes, I want to punch "those" kids in the face!
I say, next time, if the kid gets in your kids face and is downright annoying to her, tell whomever is on duty at the playground. That boy seems like he doesn't get the right attention at home. That gives him no right to scare other kids and get in their faces. And just have your daughter avoid him as much as possible...
