Am I Being an over Protective Mommy??

That is off base and very troubling.
LUCKILY you were there when the older boys were walking IN the GIRLS bathroom... who knows what they were doing there... but THEY should be reported.

I would, highly question the schools ability to properly supervise their kids... AND since there is a SHARED bathroom, which not only the preschool uses... but with other MUCH older kids and activities going on.
That is a complication....

You NEED to, in writing, 'complain' about those older boys entering the GIRLS bathroom... AND addressing the Preschool's lack of supervision...
2 issues.

It is very unsafe... kids, get molested that way.... or worse.

You NEED to document it... and FORMALLY complain to them. DO NOT BE SHY about it.

Do not send her back to that school.
Why put her at risk...

all the best,
Susan

I would have been livid! Definitely go to the director, but I would find a new program. Completely inappropriate!

I would ask the preschool supervisor about what their supervision and bathroom policies are. Tell them what happened only AFTER you ask what the policies are. I'm betting this is totally against their policies. Maybe they need to retrain their staff.
You noted that this program is through Parks and Rec. If they don't take this seriously, you can complain to the city supervisor.

Listen to what your gut is telling you. Don't worry about appearing over-protective, rude, etc. If the head of pre-school doesn't seem concerned about what took place then keep walking out the front door and into a safer pre-school.

This actually makes me feel sick. I would not send her there another day!

I personally would never take my child back there again. Something is seriously wrong for a small girl to be in the position that she would have been alone in a bathroom with three teenage boys. The possibilities of what could have happened if you weren't there are frightening. I would pull her from the program, never to return. Along with giving the teacher's a piece of my mind. Thank goodness you were there!

No, this is not safe at all! A teacher should always join a preschooler for potty breaks! I'd bring it up for sure. What if she was to have made it outside all alone? Not cool at all.

OK, I'm as liberal as they come for allowing kids to do their business by themselves in their own gender specific bathroom....and I'm so NOT ok with a 3.5 yo wandering around to find a bathroom. And really, really NOT ok with teenagers sharing a bathroom with pre-schoolers like that, not the way you described.

I too am surprised the bathroom isn't in the room with them. Every preschool I visited, and enrolled my kids in, had bathrooms in the same room. And when they were 2/3 the teacher ratio was 1 to 3 or 4. One teacher, one mom and 3-4 kids. GL!

I find it odd that in a 3 year old classroom, there isn't a bathroom RIGHT in the room with them.. I don't think your overreacting at all and would feel the same way you do... I would go to the director with your concerns about this.

ABSOLUTELY make a fuss. I own a preschool and no child is ever permitted to go to the bathroom unattended. I have kindergarten aged children that are not permitted to go to the bathroom alone. It is a state law and a huge fine is an inspector catches a child unattended. Any child can just wander out of a school, and god only knows what could have happened. I would talk to the director tomorrow and if nothing is done I would take my child out immediately.

You are not being over protective. This was unacceptable. I'd talk with the supervisor and if it doesn't change, I'd take her out of the program.

I would give the supervisor a chance to know what happened and respond. It's my guess that it shouldn't have happened and won't happen again.

My daughter started attending the YMCA after school daycare program which is held at her school when she was in Kindergarten. Children are not allowed to even walk down a short hall to the bathroom by themselves. Supervision is even more important for preschoolers.

Pre-school thru Parks and Recreation in our city is held in the same center as other activities. I think I understand the way that the building is arranged which requires that the bathroom be across the building. This is even more reason to have bathroom visits supervised.

In Portland, teens assist in programs and this teacher may have actually been a teen who didn't understand the rules and reasons for the rules or under pressure didn't enforce them. I would guess that she was not adequately being supervised and wonder if she's an appropriate choice for an employee.

If the Director/Supervisor of the preschool program was aghast at the situation I would continue sending my child but keep a close eye on what happens. I would also talk directly with the teacher to determine if she recognized the seriousness of her decision. I would not talk with the teacher before the supervisor had talked with her however, because by telling her your concerns you are giving her the "right" answers for the supervisor's questions.

UPDATE after reading your what happened describing the person in charge's reaction:

Definitely describe in writing what happened and send it to the licensing office as well as the Director of Parks and Recreation and the Director of the community center and the director of the preschool program.

This set up has the serious possibility of a child being injured or lost. I'm certain they are not following the rules layed down by state law.

.

I would feel the same way. I would actually pull her out of the program. Now I have three kids two boys and one girl. My boys are 10 1/2yrs, 6 1/2yrs and a 4 yr girl. We are the house were all the kids hang out BUT I am there the WHOLE time. Nothing goes down on my ship.
I would go with your gut feeling. Even if it was complete innocent I would not want older boys near my young daughter. I would not want something to happen.

Mom,
I teach children your daughter's age and completely agree, it was highly inappropriate and unsafe to send your little girl her on her own through all of those rooms to use the restroom let alone to have her in the presence of much older children and teens unsupervised. I would call the Director of the pgm this afternoon or 1st thing in the morning b4 sending her bk to find and let her have it and ask why this is permitted. I would also strongly consider pulling her from the program immediately. You need to find a "true preschool" that is a preschool only and does not have a before or afterschool care pgm that puts her with older children. Sounds like the pgm is not well run for young children. I would hate for something to happen to your little girl. You have to be her advocate and voice in this situation, no matter if she loves it . I applaud you for being so upset and looking out for her well being so much; you are a great Mom. Hope this helps.

Follow-up. :Hurray for you Mom for using great judgement! After giving your incident some thought I would contact the child-care licensing dept in your state and file a formal complaint on this preschool/daycare at the rec cntr and notify the City Mgr too of the dity wher the pgm. Their liablity in this situation could be enormous if a child were harmed, injured or heaven-forbid taken. I think God or an angel was watching over your daughter and sent you in as her guardian angel to see what was happening there that day. Let the State Childcare Licensing people know fully what occured and what the Director's response was. Any type of child predator could have, or might still come in and done who knows what to the young children there. Also our CA state childcare/preschool licensing does not even allow young chidren in the preschool kitchen where I teach, let alone to walk through it on her own like your child did. THere are so many dangers there for a young child in a kitchen, ovens, sharp knives and objects, probably chemical cleaners, electrical outlets, glass I imagine etc. It is odd they were granted a license to provide childcare for young children if inspectors knew children had to pass through the kitchen with or w/out an adult and go on to be left alone in the restroom near an open door-Yikes! THis rec pgm needs to be inspected asap. I would blow the whistle on them tomorrow, if you are not up to doing this yourself does your local TV channel have a consumer help dept like ours does . If you told them your story which, would be newsworthy, it would inform all other parents of young ones there of the dangers for thier child and possibly prevent something horrible from happening. THen the station, could help you contact state licensing for childcare to file the complaint.
Thanks Mom

No, you are not being over protective. I would contact the agency in your state regarding daycares. Ask them about the situation, if it something that is up to code with the BR being right by the back door that leads to the pool.

Something to think about - if the teacher was busy tending to other kids today, she will be busy another day too.

Hi J., I would be upset as well, the set up does not sound safe. Those boys probably would not have done anything, but you never know. I would talk to who ever is in charge. J.

Your not being overprotective at all. This is completely unacceptable. It could have just been a mistake, or it could have been that someone was being lazy or not doing their job. A 3 yo should never be left unsupervised. (I understand the other door being opened at the time, since it was being used).

I would talk with the person in charge of the program. I'd also report the boys who were in the girls bathroom.

After that you need to make a decission as to whether or not this program meets your needs. Listen to your gut feeling.

I am right there with you and you are not being over protective at all. Definitely bring it up to the director's attention and the fact that she was there alone when the older boys walked in ... that's a problem. In my opinion, I wouldn't return to that program because the teacher can't be trusted to ensure your child's safety. As someone mentioned below there are legal rules that must be followed. Perhaps this isn't the best pre-school program for her and the teachers may not be up to par. You can find another program that is better suited not only to her learning but most importantly her safety. Hope you are able to resolve this. Best of luck.

There are licensing standards regarding supervision, and children going to the bathroom alone is definitely a licensing violation. I work in this field, so you can either bring it to the director's attention, or you can call community care licensing and file a complaint. If you like it there, it may be enough to bring it to the director's attention. If you don't really care and are ok looking for another, you may want to call licensing and begin your search for another daycare. There are a lot of preschools, however you really need to look at every aspect of them, other ones may have high staff turn over, not a very good curriculum, etc. Just beware that you are always going to find something you don't like, I guess it just depends on how severe you think the problem is.

WOW. I would also have a huge issue with that. Kids this age should never, ever be sent to the restroom by themselves if it's out of the direct line of sight of the teacher. When my girls were that age, I remember that a teacher or aide was always present when they went to the bathroom. My youngest is 5 and even in Kindergarten if the kids have to go during class, they go in pairs and the teacher watches them walk all the way there and back. In my opinion, you should go to the director of this program tomorrow morning and state your concern that children of that age should not be left to walk a long way alone and then possibly have teenagers or other random people walking into the bathroom while your little girl is in there. Ask what the official protocol is for this, and if you do not like the answer and/or they are unwilling to change the policy, this is not the right program for your child.

No way... you are NOT being overprotective. I would raise your concerns with the teachers and directors. Also, I would not allow my child into that facility again. This is not a typical situation for a pre-school. Most pre-schools take safety issues as a top priority because of liability. Find a facility that you feel comfortable with. Visit many. Do interviews of the directors. Observe for an hour or two.

My daughter is in a city pre-school program. The bathroom is located within the pre-school room and no one has access to the room. The room is locked from the outside. Also there are always two teachers and two parent volunteers to help. A child would NEVER be left alone.

I think you have every right to have HUGE concerns.

you are not over reacting. You should say something.

You're not being overprotective at all. I would have been so upset as well. As moms, we are our children's advocates and have to protect them. There are a lot of great preschools out there that I'm sure your daughter would also love and be safe. I think you should report the preschool to hopefully prevent incidents with other children that are enrolled and remove your daughter.

No, you are not overprotective. Talk to the people in charge, that should not be happening.

I agree with everyone who said get her out of that preschool NOW. And you really need to file a complaint like the one lady said with the licensing agency. Please not only to protect your daughter but other people's children as well.
On an additional note, I would take this as a blessing from God that He put you there at that time to protect your daughter and get her out of this dangerous situation. When I was little, my mom was looking at a very well known preschool in Manhattan Beach for me. While she was there, a kid had a severe allergic reaction to a snack with peanut butter, so my mom felt that this was not the right place for me. She was concerned because she knew that they had blown it and forgotten that the kid had an allergy, and put the kid's life in danger.
Well, thank God that happened and I didn't get sent to that preschool. It turned out that years later it came out that they were sexually abusing tons of kids there. It was an absolute horror story, and was in the news for years as they dealt with trial after trial.
I am so thankful that for some reason, God chose to spare me from that.

No I think you are right to have your concerns , I know this is a preschool through a rec program so it is open to members of the public , but still they should have rules that have to be followed. In my daughters preschool , a teacher or assistant always takes the child to the bathroom , they don't go in but they wait outside for them , and all the entrances and exits are locked during school hours. So def bring this up with who is in charge.

You are not over protective, over reacting, etc. I am a mom and a teacher. I have worked in schools and daycare facilities for most of my life. I KNOW.

You are your child's advocate and you must protect her. Furthermore, you must advocate for all the other children there. The teacher's lack of responsibility towards your child's safety is shocking. I have to wonder how often children are sent on their own on that long, unsafe trek to the bathroom. That there are teen boys accessing the same bathroom as the preschoolers is totally unacceptable. My son's school is K-8 and the older kids have their own bathrooms and are not allowed in the lower grade bathrooms. This is normal.

I suggest a few MUSTS:

I would pull my child out of the place your child is. Even if it is inconvenient. She is not safe there.

I would also write a formal complaint to all the powers that be at the facility where your child attends. Director, supervisors, even the teacher.

Then, I would file a complaint with the licensing board for that facility. I know it sounds extreme or harsh, but these are children and they are not safe. We have to advocate, not just for our children, but for all children. Pulling your child will protect your child, but what about the others? We have to speak up, or God forbid something terrible could happen to a sweet little child. Even if nothing comes of it, you will know you started a documented paper trail and that should a child be hurt there, you did your part to protect.

Thank you in advance for helping these children.

Not to upset you, but I probably will. My 3 year old daughter was in a program at a high school with some friends. It is a high school class where they have their own two hour preschool. Many local schools have them and they are great. At the one she attended a 16 or 17 year old boy was arrested for fondling two of the girls. Someone noticed his behavior and reported it. My daughter was not involved and my heart broke for the two girls involved.....I never in a million years thought this would be a problem, but it was. Your little girl should not be exposed to the possiblity of something like this. As is always the case the majority of adults and teens are fine upstanding people, but there can always be the exception.

Find a place where each room as its own bathroom that can only get accessed from their "homeroom". My 4 yr old's preschool is not only set up with one age per room/one bathroom per room...The <7 child care portion of the building is secure from the all-ages rec portion of the building. Only staff and parents with security badges can get in...No one else can be wandering around.

I would also pull my child out of that daycare as it only takes one mistake to change your lives forever. I would definitely talk to the person in charge and make your point very strongly.......consider yourself speaking up for all the other families who have no idea this is going on. Mamas need to band together and speak up for the innocent.

Reputable day-cares should ALWAYS attend the little ones to the bathroom, no matter how old they are. I'm appalled at the candid way the worker responded to you. When I worked at a day care and serve in Sunday school, we take them to the bathroom and wait outside the door, constantly asking them if they need help. Let us know the outcome! Blessings!

Hello, I feel you should talk to the person in charge of the program (maybe the center's director). This is very serious. You daughter was put in danger in so many ways. What if she had wandered outside alone? What if the boys who were coming in bullied her or worse? All of the children should be escorted to anywhere they need to go. Unfortunately, there are pedophiles who love to hang around places where there are chldren. If the people in charge don't "get it", I would take her somewhere else. In fact, I might have pulled my child out and make sure they understand why.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

Hi J.,

I think one of the biggest disservices women can do is to second guess themselves when it comes to a gut reaction. Your instinct can be a powerful tool.

If your spidey senses went off at the bathroom from those teenage boys (I agree, what were they doing in the girls' bathroom anyways?!?), I would definitely address it with the school teachers. If you don't get anywhere, I'd talk to the administrator or better yet, start looking for another program. Mamapedia is a great resource of fantastic mothers who I bet could give you some helpful advice for other programs in your area.

Good luck with this!

L.

You are definitely not being overprotective. If it was a preschool for young children only and the bathroom was across the hall... that's one thing but this sounds like it's just not a safe enough environment for a 3 year old.

I would find another preschool - maybe even in a church or synagogue - where it is just a preschool and the children are better supervised and not around teenagers.

Good luck!!

You are not being overprotective at ALL. You have gotten lots of good advice. Do what is necessary to keep your daughter safe.

The law requires children to be within sight and sound of a teacher at all times, including toileting. This center is clearly violating the law and it was a good decision for you to pull her out of the school. I would report it to authorities, personally.

You are your daughters protector...and you are not overreacting. Personally I would find a new program and let them know (in a nice tone) why you are moving. They need some changes and quickly before they get knocked for a liability. There are sooooo many great programs for kids...you'll find another one you'll probably like better. That's just uncalled for, and unsafe...including the swimming issue...sheesh! Listen to your instincts...you are the mom...don't worry about what others think when it comes to protecting your sweet little girl!

Momma you did the right thing. Don't EVER question yourself when it concerns your daughter safety and innonence regardless of WHO it is. Take it from a mother whose daughters were inappropriately touched by a nephew. The boys most likely weren't even aware that your daughter was there alone but given the chance 18, 15, 12 year old BOYS have no business in the girls restroom! Period! I don't care who they are or what they are doing. If there are supplies to be got then an ADULT GIRL needs to go in there.
Furthermore I just NOW began allowing my girls to go to the restroom in a public restroom by themselves and they are 7 1/2 years old and at that there are certain restrictions such as is the restroom within my view. If it isn't then I go with. That is about the stupidest setup for a facilty that tends to children. The way its set up then no child- I don't care what age really should be allowed to just "roam" about because the caregiver cannot see what they are doing or what anyone else could be doing as well. Don't question yourself you may have saved your daughter from something very bad and take it from a mother that knows - go ahead and start talking to your daughter about the good touch bad touch and no secrets are to be kept from the family. I cannot stress it enough-I had talked to my daughters about it too but obviously I skated around the issue and if I could go back I would not have left anything out because then they could have maybe perhaps known more of what to do when my nephew took them aside. They were 4 years old so don't think she is too young!

This does not seem like a normal situation, and the school could get in trouble for it. At my childs preschool adults are not allowed to use the same restroom at the children...This may be a law. How far is the pool from that restroom? That is scary as well seeing that your daughter doesn't swim. I would talk to someone over the program. You have valid concerns.

First of all there is no reason for any child that young to go to the bathroom by themselves. At the daycare I work at even if the child does not go here they can not walk anywhere alone. And the thing about the boys going in there. That is a big no!! What is wrong with this lady? They should have sent girls in there. Im sorry this happened to you.

I would take her out of that class and enroll her somewhere else where a) there aren't as many preteen/teenagers roaming around and b) she will be accompanied to the bathroom and c) write to EVERYONE involved in that program (the class teacher, the head of the department, the head of the program), including your town officials (they are ultimately in charge of programs like this!) and let them know what happened, which is why you're pulling her from that program.

My own mommy senses are tingling (not in a good way) as I read this - listen to your instincts!

You're not being overprotective at all. I would even feel uncomfortble for my 11 year old daughter being in there when older boys could access the bathroom. If the preschool can't bring her to the bathroom, I would change preschools.

If I were you (but I know I am not)
I would drop out of the program, but let as many people as possible know why and in writing.
Sorry it sounds like a bad situation. Kids at 3 and a half love preschool and
having friends, but they must be safe.
Good luck.

Updated

If I were you (but I know I am not)
I would drop out of the program, but let as many people as possible know why and in writing.
Sorry it sounds like a bad situation. Kids at 3 and a half love preschool and
having friends, but they must be safe.
Good luck.

I totally would have pulled my child out of that program too! MY GOODNESS!!! My daughter is 5, my son is 3 and by no means are they allowed to go to any bathroom (other than home, of course) by themselves. I am, however, completely overprotective of my children...Good for you!

Overprotective? NO!!!!! Now, I'm only speaking from my preschool/kindergarten experience but no, not only should she not have been alone but I don't even like the sound of the bathroom set up.

There is no excuse. ESPECIALLY given that this preschool has older kids around who have access to the little ones.

At my sons school (two preschool rooms and one kindergarten room) a teacher is always nearby when ANY child goes to the bathroom. Doesn't matter if it's a 3yo or 6yo.

In the city we live in, unfortunately, anything through Parks N Rec are never closely supervised. My son took an art class (he's 6) at our Parks N Rec and kids are free to walk long distances to get to the bathroom and they are completely unsupervised. Not only that, anyone can walk in off the street!
So, needless to say, I stay through the art class and read a book and sometimes walk a child down to the bathroom and wait for them because a couple of them don't come back until you go and look for them and they're usually looking around the other classes going on.
Anything through Parks N Rec is NOT a school where they can be closely supervised and where at least strangers can't walk in off the street.
I would not only talk to the supervisor or director but I would look into a preschool situation not through Parks N Rec. Good Luck!

You're not being overprotective...they are being negligent in their care of your daughter. Children at my kids' preschool are always supervised in the bathroom...They always have enough staff on hand that someone can watch kids play outside and someone else can take anyone who needs to to the rest room.

That doesn't sound like a safely run place. I would find another day care. If you are in the OC area...my kids are at Montessori on the Lake in Lake Forest and I can't say enough good things about it. My oldest will be leaving there soon for kindergarten, but he's been there since he was four months old. They are wonderful, caring people who take great care with the kids and teach them all beyond just the basics. Really recommend!
-M

PS...Just saw you're from Riverside...we went to Temple Beth El preschool (on Victoria) as kids there and it was great! Not sure what it's like now, but thought I'd pass that on.

Dfinate;y contact her boss better safe than sorry good ;uck A. no hills

Updated

DFINATE;Y CONTACT HER BOSS BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY GOOD ;UCK A. NO HILLS

FWIW, I think you did the right thing. Safety first.

I'm the mom of a three year old boy and that situation would freak me out. Definitely not being overprotective, in my opinion.

You aren't being overprotective at all. That doesn't sound right. There should be no boys in the girls' restroom and they should not have left your daughter unattended on her way to the restroom. I remember even in first grade we had teacher's aides walk us there or to the nurse's office, though I'm not sure if they were trying to be responsible or making sure we didn't escape, lol. Your child is way too young to be wandering around any building all by herself, let alone an open building. If there are two teachers, where was the other one? I would definitely talk to the boss.

You are SPOT ON, Mommy!! Always trust how things make you feel! YOU ARE RIGHT, 98% of the time an who cares about a measly 2%! Trusting yourself to care for YOUR child the best way YOU know how is what motherhood is all about. You had already gotten a lot of specific responses but I just wanted to give you a vote of confidence! :)

Wow! I can't believe she wasn't concerned about your situation. I would have pulled my daughter out too. And I also think you should report them because those boys should NOT be allowed in the girls bathrooms knowing there could still be little girls in there. I still can't believe she didn't thinks anything was wrong.

You are not being overprotective. Trust your instincts. If you feel it's not a safe environment by your standards, chances are it's not. If that means pulling her out of the preschool and enrolling her in another one, then that is what you need to do. Personally, I would be horrified if I found my daughter in that situation, and I would not hesitate to immediately pull her out of the school. No chances. Too many risks to the safety of your daughter. Good luck!

It is unbelievable that the director of this preschool is so unconcerned with their lack of protection of your child. She should NEVER been allowed to roam ANYWHERE without adult supervision. She could have gotten outside through the "accidentally" open door and drowned! Also, boys (MEN) should not be allowed to access the ladies restroom without a female escort.

Obviously, this "preschool" does not have any policies in place to protect the children left in their care. PLEASE do not stop with complaining to the clueless director of the preschool and pulling your child out. Contact the head of the entire Parks and Recreation Department and let them know what is going on over there. Also, call Child Protective Services and make a report. No business in charge of the care children can keep their daycare license if things like this are going on. CPS will force them to put policies in place and will follow up to make sure that things change. Do not think that you are going overboard. You could, literally, be saving the life of another child!

GET HER OUT OF THERE! You are not being overprotective-- you are being a good mommy! No child at the age of 3, should be going to the bathroom alone. They should always have a trusted adult with them. I worked in a pre-school and under no circumstances, not matter how busy we were- would we allow a child to go anywhere unattended. I would choose a program that is "child centered" and where you can be sure your child will be safe there. This program is not a good fit.

Good luck~

Molly

I totally agree with you... why on earth would anybody in there right mind allow a 3 year old little girl or boy to go to the bathroom all alone knowing of the distance to that toilet.... it sounds like this school is poorly staffed... what on earth could of happened to that child and all different age group kids able to have access to a toilet that young girls are to use and what on earth would any school allow that kind of carry on boys of teenage years going into a girls toilet that cant be right.... THIS SCHOOL IS VERY POORLY RUN..... BADLY!!!! you have to look out for your child's safety and your daughter is supposed to getting looked after under their responsibility it really do's sound that school is a very unsafe environment for your child as you said you don't want anything to happen to your child so i think you should bring it to the teacher's boss's attention if anything happened to your daughter you would never forgive yourself. please let me know how you get on... good luck and you are a fantastic mother go with your instincts. A.

Pull her out immediately. That is not a safe daycare.

J.,
We as mommies always have this "sixth sense," if you will...a gut feeling about things and we should always listen to it. You know what's best for your little girl. And NO you are not being overprotective in this case! I would definitely look for another preschool where the teachers are constantly supervising all kids. Unfortunately with the park and rec programs, there aren't that many teachers to student ratio ( as you have mentioned). So sorry that you had a horrible experience. And what were the boys doing in the girls bathroom? I would be horrified too! Always trust your gut instincts. YOu have put your trust with the teachers and with the park and rec program...and for them to not tend to your child because "the teacher was too busy tending to those who were coming back from swim lessons?" Ridiculous! Please speak to someone in charge and look for another preschool. Good luck with the search!!!

Hi J.. You are right to be upset. She's only 3.5 yrs old! I have a 3.5 yr old baby girl as well and I can't imagine sending her to the public bathroom by herself!!! I'm so upset for you just thinking about that. Yes, you definitely bring this up to those in charge and if I were you, I will take my baby out of that place. There are better places to put her in, I'm sure, and it's totally worth it to put her in the best care possible. Don't take chances, not with our kids' well being on the line. Good luck.

OMG NO!!! I went to kindergarten and they even have the bathrooms in the classes at the schools around here! In first grade they are allowed to go alone, but I have been teaching my kids from a very young age that if they are anywhere alone or with someone, and someone they dont know gets too close or touches them to scream REALLY loud. But OH MY GOSH! You are not overreacting at all!! I would definitely make a deal about it. A 3 year old can get curious and just go right outside. I think I would have to look for other options. There is NO excuse for the teacher to be too busy and not have enough helpers around.

I just read this post and as a mom and grandma, I would say you did the right thing! Now take the next step and protect other kids by turning them in to the city or state, whichever it may be in your area...it is run through the park and recreation area, so they probably get funding and have to answer for how the daycare is run...let them know that it is not run efficiently.

Ignore the comments about being overprotective, if you don't protect your child who will! And to the dad who read this post and didn't like it, " I stay at home 3 days a week with my 2 boys and I am so SICK of mothers online and that I know with this irrational fear of men and boys." the easy way to fix that is DON'T READ IT! We are mom's some of us are grandma's and for you to say that she is overly paranoid, sounds like you need to pay a little more attention to what men and boys do to young girls...it's not overparanoid, it's a sick reality!

You absolutely did the right thing, to pull her out. We all agree you are not over-protective. If this had been your SON, you still should pull the child out. But I go a step further - tell the NEWSPAPER!!!! Let other parents know!! SO MANY protocols are not being followed, you happened to catch one right away. As someone said, the older boys may be COMPLETELY innocent, but no one would ever believe it! If I were the parent of an older child, I would pull THAT child out due to stupid poor supervision!!!! A suspicion of wrong behavior could blot the older child for a lifetime! Get out (You did that) and make NOISE!!!!!! Tell people! Tell the chain of command, and tell the PUBLIC! We tell ouir kids to yell loudly, if they suspect something funny, YOU SHOULD TOO!!!! Congrats on pulling her out, and not taking stupid for an answer. Now follow up and tell the public!

Thanks for protecting OTHER kids!!

Bravo to you for pulling your daughter out of this situation! I showed this post to my 11 year old son. He made two points, both of which I want to share with you.
1. He thinks there should be a responsible teacher dedicated to the children who don't swim.
2. He wouldn't be caught dead in a girl's bathroom, for ANY reason. He said if he absolutely had to, he would call out first, loudly, and then wait a long time for a response and to see if any girl walked by that could get whatever he needed out of the storage unit.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Write a letter to the school administration, the state licensing board, CPS (child protective services) and any other child welfare agency. Stand up for all the children that don't have "over-protective" parents. You may be saving them from a lifetime of trauma.

Good for you!!!! You protected your daughter. We need more mommies like you!

Wow! That shocks me that she thought that was ok! You did the right thing...I'm definitely not an overprotective mom and I would have done the same thing. Protecting your daughter is not the same as being overprotective.

I read your follow-up. Good for you mom!!! I would have been upset about the same things you were upset about and would have yanked my daughter as well.

My heart just sunk when I read that the older boys came into the restroom! I already couldn't believe what an awful situation it was for your Daughter to be sent to the restroom alone with it being so far away but when I read the part about the boys wondering in I couldn't believe it! As the few responses that I read below mine advised, get her out of there ASAP! You cannot trust this place and even if they say it won't happen again, I wouldn't feel comfortable because it shouldn't of happened in the first place. You can tell you're a wonderful Mother from reading the concern you have for your Daughter's safety in your post, now just follow your instinct :)

Wow, I don't think so. I would've flipped out. You were pretty fair compared to what I would've done because I would've snatched up those boys and ask them what they think they're doing. Then I would've went to the teacher with the boys and chewed her out and asked if this is what she considers safety. There's no telling what those boys were up to in my mind. That is straight evidence she shouldn't have been there alone not to mention that she's soo young. I've seen reports of abductions and worse. and I wouldn't want anyone's kids to be a victim of it because one of the teachers couldn't take her. I'd definitely go to someone higher up about the situation and try to pass the information along to the other parents. That's so dangerous. It doesn't sound like they're concerned about children's safety, at least not that teacher. I was appalled when I read your post because of their lack of concern, my daughter is almost 2 and I can't imagine the anger I would feel if I was in that situation... probably shouldn't, I'm a red-head :P

Personally I'd switch schools and write a review about what happened.. I know I read the schools' reviews. There's no way I'd let my baby stay there, that's ridiculous. I'm a paranoid person, but what Kat was saying about teenagers getting arrested at the school for taking advantage of the two girls was the first thing that popped in my head. Ya'll def need a school with more care and supervision. It's awesome to see you care so much though :) You sound like a good mommy.

Updated

Update on my answer: Good decision. I cant believe they would put a storage closet for the boys in the bathroom first of all, they are begging for something bad to happen. I can't believe they don't find it strange or dangerous to allow 18 yr old ADULT, 15 or 12 yr old boys into a GIRLs bathroom. I hope the other parents know about this, that's just insane. What a horrible school. I would've had to control my temper not to scream at that lady, manly voices (haha really?!) that's so irresponsible of her. Who knows what some other persons intentions are when they go in there with a vulnerable toddler!

Nope, not overprotective! Find a new pre-school ASAP! This is not a safe environment for children. Where is it located? My daughter goes to a home daycare, which is, in my opinion, better than any of the pre-schools we saw. I'm a teacher, so I know what kids need to start Kindergarten...and this daycare has the kids prepared! Let me know if you want more information, good luck!

NO NO NO..alone at a rec place..NO! i would pull her from the school and also tell them why..that is creepy..an open door to the outside..older boys in the girl's room..NO!
my son goes to Kid's Klub in Pasadena..that would never would never happen there..he does not get sent alone to the bathroom..i don't think a park and recs preschool is the way to go..you can request to stay a day there with her and see how things are run ..but if it were my son i would be livid and would pull him..i have never found anything odd at his school..he's been there over a year..he only goes 2 afternoons a week..12:30 to 5:45pm..i trust them..your daughter depends on you to notice these things..sorry to be so negative..i just read this to my boyfriend and he also shook his head no...and said he wouldn't send a child to a parks and rec preschool.sorry..but from what you just posted i would take her out immediately.

I am not usually overprotective, but you did the right thing. Your child is 3 years old and safety comes first. Kids shouldn't be sent anywhere alone at that age while on school premises for the safety of all involved. At my daughter's pre-k they are always accompanied to the bathroom by a teacher or an aide. The bathroom on their floor is unisex, but it is for the pre-k kids only, so boys and girls is fine imo. There are only female pre-k teachers so the boys would have to go in alone if not for the unisex bathroom. The older grades use their own boy/girl bathrooms upstairs. The teacher not caring that the older boys were in the bathroom is also concerning as is the door being left open. You made the right choice pulling her out, but don't let this one situation scare you off school altogether. Let this be a lesson in the kinds of questions you ask in the future about procedures before picking a school. Keep looking and I am sure you will find a great school that has the proper procedures in place, all the best!

I agree so much with everybody else!!! But now that you have called the facility, I think you really need to report this. Fortunately your daughter has a great mom like you, but something could happen to other kids in there that their parents aren't aware of the situation. Someone needs to speak up for the safety of those other kids!

I'm responding after seeing your response, just to say that I really don't think I'm an overprotective mother at all, but I absolutely would have also pulled my child out of there. When I first saw that older boys were going in the girls restroom I figured maybe five and six year olds... but 18, 15 and 12 year olds?! That's outrageous! And sending a 3 year old that far alone in a building that obviously has much older boys in it is also horrendous. I run a spiritual sunday school program and we don't let kids go to the bathroom alone until they're in 6th grade (and the bathrooms don't even sound like they are as far away). This is exactly the kind of place that becomes a target for very sad stories.

Hi - I just wanted to let you know that I think it was a great decision to pull your daughter out. Mom instincts are usually right and don't worry if others think you are being overprotective. As her Mom, your responsibility is to protect your daughter, not worry about what others think. And it sounds like you are doing a great job with her!! I can't believe any responsible adult would not see the red flags in that situation - anybody could walk in that open door or a child could wander out while trying to navigate the long walk back to the classroom. And with a pool in the vicinity, a child could easily drown. Having a storage closet that boys need access to in a girls bathroom does not seem right either. And if girls at age 3 are getting used to seeing boys walk in their bathroom, they may think that is normal and end up in a bad situation as they get a little older, even if the situation is innocent now & the boys are just truly there for closet access. It also seems odd to me that a preschool or any program for kids that young would be OK with them walking around the facility out of an adult's site. I know the majority of older boys/adults do not harm children but all it takes is one and we all know, from watching the news, that we can't be too careful. You definitely have some good things to ask when you are looking for another preschool/program. I'm sorry you had to go through this experience. I would definitely notify the director at the park district, city officials, child & family services, etc. because this is an unsafe situation for children. Your actions could save the life of someone else's child! Great job Mom!!

Glad you pulled her out- you are not being overprotective.

Wow! That's just a tragedy waiting to happen. I'm so glad you pulled your daughter out of the school!

You have a need to be concerned, very concerned. This may sound drastic but Take your little girl out of that preschool. This should never happen no matter how busy the teachers are. I've been taking care of children for 36 years and I can tell you I'd never do such for obvious reasons. Don't worry about what the teachers or supervisors may say or think, just do what you need to do. Just call them and tell them what happened so they can be informed, the rest is up to them.

The preschool is responsible for your daughter's safety. When you are watching a bunch of children at the same time it is very easy to lose track of time. Girls and boys need to be taught that their bodies are theirs and no one else except for a parent when helping them change or washing or a Dr. has a right to look at them without clothes.

I would be concerned that my child my just walk out to see what was so interesting outside on a beautiful day. How long would it take the daycare provider to realize she was missing. Kids are easily distracted and don't always do as they are told.

J.

I think you should go to the top and ask lots of questions, You should also make yourself heard, they need to listen to you and your fears. Children take a long time to get here and to nurture, it only takes a few seconds for innocence to be stripped from them. If you are not happy with the programme you can always go and source others. Look into there rules and regulations. Their policies, procedures also check them out. Safety is paramount for our wee ones. hope this might be of help to you. just remember...if it dont feel right.. it aint! Thats what we tell our kids ay!

You did the right thing!!!
If you didn't see any concern from that school on this issue, what else would they be dropping the ball on???
Good for you!