Ok Need Help with Punishments for 22 Month Old ASAP PLEASE!!!!!!

I fully second the Love and Logic program. There's no spanking involved, but it is a great way to discipline quickly and effectively. I use it as a discipline tool for my son, but also in my junior high classrooms. The great thing is that the kids are experiencing the CONSEQUENCE of their actions, rather than a punishment inflicted by you. They have no choice but to feel as though they are responsible for the consequence they are experiencing, because you deliver the consequence with firm empathy rather than with anger or frustration. Grab a copy of Love and Logic for Early Childhood. It's a quick read, and the concept is simple and easy to apply both at home or out in public. Good luck, B.!

First of all, do not laugh at anything you don't want repeated. You have to be patient and consistent. When he gets on a chair or anything else and jumps off say no. Warn him if he does it again he's going to timeout. When he does it again, put him in time out for 2 minutes. If you don't want to consistently put him in a corner or chair over and over every time he gets up then put him in his room with a gate in front of the door. It sounds like he has learned he can pretty much do what he wants and you better get a handle on the situation before he gets any older. Use an authoritative voice when you mean business. No matter how much he cries or screams never give in, no matter where you are. If others don't like it, they can just get over it. I definetly believe in positive reinforcement and lots of praise as long as it's genuine and well deserved. So lots of that, too. Good luck.

I was just reading about age appropriate discipline. Here's a link to some good guidelines and ideas.

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-...

My kiddo is all grown up, but there are still lots of little ones in the family. What I see so often when I watch parents with their little ones is the tendency to punish everything. Life is all about exploring and learning when you're 2, so make it safe (physically and emotionally) for your son to learn and do new things. See his "misbehavior" as an opportunity to teach him something whenever you can, rather than just saying no.

For example, on the jumping, think of it as a new physical skill which is a good thing for your son to be able to do. Rather than punishing him for jumping off chairs, show him all the appropriate places he can jump. Teach him to pile pillows on the floor and jump off a step stool, or find some other way to let him APPROPRIATELY use the new skill. His timing may not be great, and he may want to jump when you don't want to supervise, but the more you indulge him, the sooner his fascination will wane and you can get on to the next fun phase!

As far as him taking (and running with!) things he's not supposed to have, try keeping your initial reaction very calm. If you're gasping and hollering, "Eeek! Give me that screwdriver!!!" your son may enjoy pushing that button. Try saying something like, "I see that you found Dad's screwdriver. Can you show me what that's for?" Then let him help you loosen and tighten a screw in a doorknob or somewhere else. This way, the screwdriver doesn't become a "forbidden fruit" (which he will only want more!) and he won't have to run because you won't be chasing him. He also learns something in the process and the two of you don't end up mad at each other.

I just read the part about you having other kids, so I hope my suggestions aren't insulting! Enjoy that little guy because, as you already know, they grow up really fast!!

There is a great program called "Love and Logic" www.loveandlogic.com. Woodhaven Presbyterian Church in Irving is doing a free seminar on Sept. 13. You can find more information about that event on their website www.woodhavenpres.org. The guy who is speaking is one of the founders & is fantastic. Good luck!

B.,

In our risk adverse culture, my question may come as a surprise: What is wrong with jumping off the kitchen chairs?

Here is an article I read recently that may interest you about giving kids the chance to learn by experimenting with small dangers. This helps them to test the limits, learn their own limits, and be better positioned to manage their behavior properly later on.

http://www.openeducation.net/2008/08/04/our-risk-averse-c...

My daughter loves to climb and jump. I signed her up for gymnastics at around your son's age BECAUSE she was swinging and jumping from my kitchen set like a monkey. She is the most physically adept child in her class and circle of friends. I believe this is in large part due to my allowance of her development through experimenting with these types of behaviors (e.g. tree climbing). It never fails that when she skillfully climbs a tree, someone in the vicinity loudly exclaims aghast that she is going to fall. She never does.

Safety is one thing, but excessive restrictions might just repress his need for physical activity and exploration. If the chairs are particularly unsafe (perhaps they are high spinning stools?), can he be guided to exercise his jumping desires to another location that is equally satisfying for him?

Incidentally, my daughter never hurt herself at that age. And, one of her cousins was the same way. She is more prone to a minor scratch or bump now at 5, but that is still how she learns.

My view is very consistent with the Love and Logic style of parenting. Perhaps when he is testing his limits, a cautionary verbal warning and tone from you "be careful" "watch out for the slippery floor" will help him know to be on guard, then let him make his own decision. If he falls, pick him up, kiss the boo boo and give him empathy. Better to learn about danger from the kitchen chairs than later on with a car on the highway. Then he decides if he wants to do it again. He may just learn a more skillful and safe way of doing it. Or he may decide he doesn't like getting hurt.

Look at the daredevils in the Olympics! Many of their parents were worried for their safety over the years, but is that a reason to suppress their dreams of Olympic Gold? Ultimately it's their life, not ours.

As for clearly unsafe activity like running with screwdrivers, knives, etc. can you just babyproof a little better? This is better than chanting "No" all day long. Not surprising this riles the little daredevil up further.

Regarding behaviors that are simply out of the question and dangerous, again, Love and Logic is a good sensible training course.

Good luck!

I got this advice from my pediatrician when my son was little. First make sure there is NOTHING in his room that is dangerous. Put a hook lock on the oustide of his door, like the ones you see on old timey screen doors. When he acts up, put him in his room and apply the lock when you leave the room. Even though he is in his room with his toys, he can have his fit and have time to think and calm down. Then when he is calm (if he doesn't fall asleep), then let him out. A few times of it and he'll know what it is. I also spanked my kid and it's not mean, as long as you don't do it an anger or beat them. Spank him on his diaper or butt (thru his clothes always) and he'll get the message.

Timeout works my soon who is the same age has gotten where he dreads timeout and will sometimes stop with a warning but you have to keep doing it or they forget. Hold him in your lap facing away from you and don't speak to him while your holding him there. I do it until he calms down or for about a min. They wont be perfectly still but that's not the point. Then I tell him what he did and why he cant do it, tell him I love him, kiss him and send him on his way. I follow the same when needed. Spankings don't work, you will just teach him to hit. Watch or read Jo Frost Super Nanny Wednesday nights channel 8 or ABC. Good luck let me know if you need more advise. My son will be 2 yrs old Oct 2nd so were in the same boat! Remember they call it the terrible two's for a reason! lol

BEen there, done that. My son is now 5 and is still fascinated by tools and loves to perform dangerous stunts. I don't think there is a lot of effective discipline other than redirecting him, at this age. I think timeouts are laughable as a form of punishment in this situation. Maybe this time next year time outs will be effective for him, but not now. I also agree on not spaking. We did that too with ds and it didn't do anything to change the behavior. It just hurt him and made us feel bad. I would calmly tell him he could get hurt by doing that behavior, and then redirect him to something similar, but not so dangerous. And repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Sorry I wish I could tell you of some fabulous discipline technique that would work like a charm at this age, but I don't know it. Good luck and hang in there Mama. I know it can be frustrating.

I think this the hardest part of being a mother - figuring out how to discipline. I have been doing timeouts with my daughter since she was 15 months (she is almost 20 months now). The behaviors you mentioned are very normal and not necessarily time out worthy. I would recommend removing the kitchen chairs from the room if jumps off the chair. Sometimes removing the object from the room makes more of a point than timeout - I have learned that with my child. Try to keep him busy as most of the time they start doing those types of things to get your attention. If you have to do something else and not able to pay attention to him while he is in the kitchen. Place him in the high chair and give him something to do - draw, color, paint, whip cream fun!! The running away part is just very normal. They like the chase game. I would just keep dangerous objects out of reach, obviously. Don't feel bad though, my husband was setting the kitchen table one day and left the knives on the table within her reach. I looked over and my daughter was walking around with a steak knife in her hand. My heart dropped. I asked her quietly what she had in her hand and asked her if I could see it. I didn't get excited b/c I was afraid she would run. I was able to get it from her without any injuries :) I would reserve timeout for hitting, biting or throwing toys after you have given him a warning of what will happen if he does that behavior again. I haven't really had to use it a whole lot; however, my daughter likes to throw toys every once in a while. I have to remind her that is not acceptable behavior. After warning her once - "no throwing". If she does the behavior again, I say, "no throwing" and walk her to the designated timeout spot. I do not say a word after that. I sit her down and start timing (1 minute per age). I stand near by in case she tries to get up. If she gets up, I just walk her back to the spot not saying anything. After she is there for one minute, I take her hand to indicate that she can leave the spot. I still do not provide any attention - no hugs, kisses or positive behavior. I do not want to use timeout as a way to get a hug or kiss. It will take some practice and expect him to try and get up. However, he will eventually get it. You just have to stick with it and be consistant. Also, one very important part! Make sure you provide lots of attention when he is doing something correctly. Like when he hands you something or comes when you call him - say " I like the way you listened to mommy and get really excited and give him lots of hugs and kisses". He will start to associate that particular behavior with the kind of attention he likes. He will eventually get it. You will notice that he will start coming more when you call him instead of running away. It is all about attention.

Hi B., for my nephew I use the couch for time out. He knows he can't get off the couch until I tell him to and he also must say he's sorry. The first few times you tell him to sit down and explain that he's in time out for ___ you will have to put him back on the couch every time he gets down and repeat yourself. Don't worry if he's sitting, laying, or standing where you put him as long as he's there. Also, stand where you can see him if he starts to get down but do not look at him or give him eye contact or talk to him. After the first couple of times he will get the idea that he must sit there until you let him up, he will stay there by himself. Also, I think at his age 2 min is plenty long, don't stretch it out and always give hugs and kisses and something to keep him busy when he gets out to redirect his attention. When I started time outs with my nephew (23 months) I started for temper tantrums. The minute he started screaming or crying I would say NO FITS - NOW YOU ARE IN TIME OUT, then I would put him on the couch and repeat NO FITS, SIT THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO GET UP. The exact minute he stopped crying I would get very smiley and bubbly and say something like "oh, you stopped your fit come and play blocks with Auntie". I did not wait any certain amount of time, just let him up as soon as he stopped crying so that he would understand why he was there and what he could do to fix it. This tactic has worked wonders, we are down to 0-1 fits a day instead of 50 or more. Now we are on to not hitting...

No time to read all of the posts so forgive any redundancy......

I have a 19 month old...I was spanked so I'm not against spanking as I am sure many of the responding mamasourcers are, BUT it is not a fit for us....we tried the simple pat on the hand and also the swat on the leg, but I noticed when he was frustrated he starting hitting us....So I nipped that in the bud.

We do use time out. You're right he won't sit there for longer than 5 seconds, but don't fight that losing battle with him. Just sit him there when he misbehaves. If he misbehaves 10 times, well take him to the corner 10 times. Give him one warning. The next time ACT on it. Don't say a word to him, just take him there. But you absolutely must act each time you give a warning.

My little one throws tantrums. So when he melts down, I take him to a safe spot and let him fall out. When he hits or takes something he is not supposed to have, I tell him no. If he doesn't respond to that, I let him know that the corner is next. If that doesn't stop the behavior I take him straight to the corner. He hates this! I think he's hurt that I want him to be away from me. (he's clingy). So he straightens up and we go on about our business. It is most effective with the tantrums. He only sits there for a split second, but he gets the idea and realizes I'm serious with him. As he gets older he will sit longer. You have to think in his terms. A split second to him is a big fraction of his total life span compared to ours. (That's why Christmas takes so long to come when we're younger.:-))
Even 5 seconds of something is a LONG time to him. It's enough to understand.

Good Luck!! As long as you are not hurting him don't ever feel guilty about your decisions!

It is going to be a tough road. I am going through the same thing.

I taught my daughter about time outs by holding her in a chair in my lap. I'd hold her arms and try to hold her feet still as well. It's difficult, but it conveys what a time out is. I'd gradually expect her to do her time outs on her own and it worked well (but we started closer to 13 months on this). Also, most of the time now I just tell her to go to her room (she doesn't have to remain in one place). She doesn't want her door closed, so if she leaves her room (even a leg), I close the door and time out starts over. I like sending her to her room without having to make sure she stays in one specific chair - less effort on my part. Parenting with Love and Logic has been very helpful to me and I'd recommend it to you. Good luck to you!

If he wants to jump get him some thing it is ok to jump in or on! A small work out trampoline that you can put on carpet or a small ball pit for in his room or playroom.
Time out I have 3 boys that lots of Dr. have said they are surprised me and my husband are still married after dealing with my boys! They make my mom cry! I use to have a car seat that stayed in the house that was a time out chair and time didn't start until they stopped have the fit after I buckled them in!

I don't mean to laugh at your pain, but the picture is funny, when you are not the mom trying to stop him.

Do you have a pack n play that you could use as the penalty box? No toys not in a happy main room, sort of like the being in a corner, but in the "box"

I did actually have luck putting my kids that age in the corner, but they weren't runners.
AND it only worked when I had a door I could open on them, that had a big corner behind it.

Good luck.

hi B.. If the non-spaking route works, then by all means go for it. However, there are children with strong-willed personalities. I reccomend reading Jim Dobson's book dare to discipline and bringing up boys. When my 2 year old needs to be disciplined, sometimes a swat is needed. After a swat I put him in the corner for about 2 min, and then hug him afterwards and briefly tell him "don't jump off the table" or whatever it was he was doing. A hug let's him know the punishment is over. I did alot of research before I decided on using a swat for discipline, and there is none that show any long term effects if it's used appropriately and not as the only sole discipline practice. In fact, I rarely even have to use it. I don't reccomend 123 Magic. you need your child to mind on 1 before running into the street, not on 3. I wish you the best.

You hold him with your arms for 2 minutes and eventually he will stay in time-out on his own. I started time-outs about that time with my younger son and had to do the same thing. I didn't ever strap him down. I just sat him down in the time-out chair (a glider) and got down on the floor and put my arms across his lap and held him down for 2 minutes. He didn't like it but when the timer went off I gave him a hug and kiss and told him why he had time out and reinforced that I loved him and not to do whatever it was.... Now he stays in time out on his own for most of time out but sometimes I have to go put him back before the timer goes off, he is 32 months old.
PS
This post made me shutter!!!
Timeouts never worked for either of my kids. I followed the bible verse - spare the rod, spoil the child. A quick swat to the upper thigh just below the diaper with a firm no. Just don't do it while you're angry. And, then - reassure the child that you love him, but don't get all huggy. Tell him that you love him but his behavior is unacceptable. At 22 months, he will understand. Spanking did not teach my kids that violence was the answer - it taught them the value of being respectful and behaving.

I am sorry, but "don't get all huggy"... good gosh... I wonder how affectionate this person is. I don't think that withholding affection after you have used physical punishment teaches them the value of respect and behavior. It teaches them fear. I usually don't comment directly on others' posts but please don't use this one's advice.

Check out www.loveandlogic.com/ The books are very helpful. They have good suggestions on ways to deal with your child without spanking him/her. There is a book specifically about toddlers.

I think that "time outs" are used too frequently and that a child under the age of 3 DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THEM!!!!!!!!!!! try having some patients, and re-direct the child until he or she is at least 3 yr. old!!!!!!!!!
Please, please work on having some patients!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could not help myself here....I am sorry if I offend someone.....PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVISE which I saw posted below.......

"Timeouts never worked for either of my kids. I followed the bible verse - spare the rod, spoil the child. A quick swat to the upper thigh just below the diaper with a firm no. Just don't do it while you're angry. And, then - reassure the child that you love him, but don't get all huggy. Tell him that you love him but his behavior is unacceptable. At 22 months, he will understand. Spanking did not teach my kids that violence was the answer - it taught them the value of being respectful and behaving."

Just imagine how that child feels as mom says I love you (but not HUGGY) as she is hitting him. I pray for those children.

I have a 13 yr old daughter and the time out issue worked for us. Also, keep in mind that he is simply acting like a 22 mth old boy will act. We just have to make sure they are safe. My daughter loved to get into my pots and pans so I emptied a cabinet just for her and filled it with tupperware and safe kitchen items from my other cabinets. It worked great.

Best wishes...they grow up TOO fast!!

Well, I laughed out loud at your request, because I have a 22 month old boy who does the EXACT same things - even down to the screwdriver. What I have found to work the best for right now is to take a baby gate (I use a traditional wood with plastic mesh type) and I found a place that was small and restricted with nothing to do (I have a hall closet where the wall juts out on either side that works really well for us) and it has about 2 footX18 inches of space) and that is his time out place. I put the gate high enough and with the tension bar on the outside so that he can't climb over it, because he's a climber too. He doesn't like being confined and it curbs the behavior pretty quickly (even though he will do it again later) and it isn't a major emotional battle, which is exhausting.
You could probably even clean out a closet so that it's empty and then put the gate up with the door open if you don't have any good wall spaces to use. Good Luck! Blessings to the moms of strong-willed children (myself included!) Remember, a strong will is a great trait, we just have to figure out how to shape it, not smash it.

Timeouts never worked for either of my kids. I followed the bible verse - spare the rod, spoil the child. A quick swat to the upper thigh just below the diaper with a firm no. Just don't do it while you're angry. And, then - reassure the child that you love him, but don't get all huggy. Tell him that you love him but his behavior is unacceptable. At 22 months, he will understand. Spanking did not teach my kids that violence was the answer - it taught them the value of being respectful and behaving.

My suggestion would be to set up his pack-n-play in a room that is not really used by the family (or one they can stay out of when he's in trouble) and use that for time outs. When he does something he knows he's not supposed to, pick him straight up and all the way there tell him the reason he is going is because he did "fill in the blank" when Mommy asked him not to. You can tell him he has to stay in there by himself because it's not ok to "whatever he did". That way he's confined and gets the idea that he's in trouble. I think 1-2 minutes would be the max I'd leave him at this age, and when you go and get him, be sure and tell him that you love him, but remind him why he was there. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Stay consistent with the time outs. And put him somewhere where he cannot see everything going on. We tried to put my daughter in the entry way but that didn't work because she was "still part of the mix." We started putting her in a chair in the laundry room and pull the door so she can't see what is going on. Worked like a charm. Like I said, stay consitent. If he gets up then put him back in time out. He will eventually learn. Good luck

It has been a long time since you had a baby and I think you need to consider that you are babying this child because he seems so much younger, etc. than the other kids because you certainly can and should tell a two-year-old a lot of things.

Kids this age are curious but you sound like you are describing a whirling dirvish and he has probably had all of the kids and his parents laughing at his antics for so long, he totally has no clue when he is actually doing something dangerous and just continues to learn that he can do whatever he wants.

People gave you a lot of good advice just remember who is in charge and that he is smarter than you probably realize, and is also quite capable of behaving well at 2.

I have a 19month old girl. She is our third child, but our first girl. So of course, she does a lot of cute little things. One of them being, when she is doing wrong and you tell her no no she smiles at you and runs. Before I tried the time out, I would take her to her room(there is nothing in there but a bed and dresser-playroom is downstairs)and sit her on the floor with the light on and her binkies and tell her she is being naughty. I leave the room for about 2 minutes, and when I come into the room I ask her to give me a hug and say your sorry for being naughty. It seemed to work for a week or so. Now I have introduced time out like I saw on the show supernanny(she is my lifesaver). I put her in a chair and tell her to sit there until the timer beeps. I set it for however old they are..in my case its only a minute. If she gets up, I dont say a word I just pick her up and put her back on the chair, and then re set the timer. You keep doing it until they end up staying in the chair for the duration of the timer. It will work, it just takes consistency and patience. When the child gets up they need to give ya a hug and say sorry for whatever they did..Its working on my little girl...My boys on the other hand are a different story. I use the 3 strike rule on them. Good Luck..Sorry this was so long...Feel free to drop me a line if you have any questions.

If you are going to use timeout, you need to keep putting him back on his chair. He is old enough to sit there for 1 minute. You just have to be consistent. You have to make him do it; otherwise, he is running the show. Good luck. It is hard to do, but it is worth it!:)
V.

Wow- you have all those kids and you are actually asking US for advice- I bet you can have your own column- LOL
Evidentally he is doing these things to make the older ones laugh too- everybody has to be on the same page and basically ignore him- and dont let the time out be in his high chair- let it be a bean bag or something. I would also show him WHERE HE CAN jump and run and do that stuff- Worth a try but the ignoring thing sometimes really works at that age- my friends son was saying bad words and the more we laughed the moe he did it- once we all ignored- amazing how it wasnt fun for him any more- good luck!--
Kudos to you - Bless you and your family
D.

Hello there,

I am still waiting to read the act that deserves punishment. He is a boy and that is what they do. Nothing you have said deserves punishment. Maybe you should show him some other place to jump off of. My son jumped off his bunk bed and off the kitchen cabinet. The more I said no, the more he did it. So when I saw him trying to do it, I just stood there to help him land softly or cleared the way for a smooth landing. Do not focus on it and it will go away. As for the screw driver issue, you just have to keep telling him. Most importantly, child proof the house so that they will not pick up dangerous things.
enjoy it. He is just being a boy.

I would agree with the previous poster in that you should show him what he can jump off of. I'm a big fan of the mantra "pick your battles". Give him alternatives. I think that a 22 month old is too young to understand the concept of sitting in time out for 2 minutes. what i did w/my daughter was sat her on the bottom stair step and counted to 10. this was long enough for her. We also called it the "naughty spot" in our house. rather than say "go sit in a time out" we said "Hannah, that was against the rules and now you have to sit in your naughty spot" this was very effective. I don't think it was until she was 2 1/2 or close to 3 before she was able to sit out for 2 minutes. then after the time out is over get down on their level, look them in the eye and say "hannah...you got a time out b/c you hit your brother. That was against the rules. I need you to apologize". This then reinforces why they got in trouble. We have also limited spanking in our household. However an instant spanking is earned when safety is involved ie..running out into the street or when lying. Those are 2 things not tolerated and our daughter knows the consequences. My advice to you on the "let's run from mommmy" game is to just be extra vigilant in child proofing. Good luck!

i would remove the object away from him. then firmly but kindly say NO. if he has a tantrum, then put him on his bed and walk away until he calms down. he's still young so "punishment" won't really make sense to him anyway. also saying things like "you want to jump off the chair, i know! but that is a NO NO. it's dangerous" will make more sense to him. or you could change your view on the jumping and make a safe place for him to jump since kids are learning to control themselves and explore their abilities at the same time, so you could find a low chair and add pillows and stand with him as he tries to jump. so you could say "we only jump at the park" or "we only jump on THAT chair".

Time outs work if they are done right. our son has been getting time outs since he was 18 months old. The key is not to give in to his wining/screaming. When it is over you have to let him know why he was in time out. Get on his level and explain it for example "We don't tell mommy no" or "you didn't listen to mommy", after you have explained it have him tell you why he was in time out and help him if he can't. Once it is over tell him you love him and give him a hug so he knows the punnishment is over. If this does not work, you might have to resort to spankings.

I second the recommendations of Love & Logic resources. If you call their number, a real human being will answer too! If you're like we are and will never have the time to read the books, get the CDs of the books or the DVDs. They have a CD set that is specifically for toddlers and preschoolers - it's awesome!

I commend you for going the non-spanking route but not going the entitlement route!! The L&L folks emphasize the importance of boundaries and empathy. Also, you can sign up for a free weekly email from them - they are short and always come with a special discount offer for some product they have. Good luck!

My son is 23 months old and i was once at a loss of how to handle situations and how to "discipline" him. I did and still am reading the Love and Logic book. The first time we used one of the techniques, he was about 18 months old and was constantly throwing things into the kitchen, over the baby gate and whatever he was throwing would break. So the first time he would do it i would say Landen we don't throw things into the kitchen, then of course he would throw it again, and as soon as he did, we would walk straight to his room (i would carry him) and he would have to sit in his room, the book says you can put them in their crib, but he tried to come out and i would walk him right back in there and tell him he had to sit there until he could be nice. By day 4 he threw something in the kitchen he put himself in his room, i mean we didn't even have to say anything, my husband and i tried our best not to laugh, cause he threw something in the kitchen and then you just see him run to his room and sit down, of course we followed through so now it really isn't an issue and if he throws a fit and won't calm down, we put him in his room and tell him when he is ready to calm down and talk then to come out. The book says this is the main thing to do until they are 3 and then they can understand much better. Also, once he is in his room if he wants to play that's fine, because its not really a punishment he just needs time to himself to get his actions under control. Also, like i said if your son won't sit in his room, you can put him in his crib or shut the door. But, its a really good book and they have a series that goes all the way to teenagers.

Good luck and if i can help you with anything let me know, i am going through the same things as you!

My answer to your question is that you should discipline your children consistently. The type of approach you use should always be calm and loving but firm. Remember you are the adult and you and your husband should take control. I know there are many responses about how your son is just being a boy and that at nearly two years old he is still just a baby. My question here is when do you teach your little baby to begin growing up and learning that some behaviors are not appropriate. My children are grown now and I have been around the children of a newer generation of babies and most are babies far too long. When they reach two and three years old they are not babies they are toddlers and are just like little sponges who learn great amounts of information. the first five years of their lives are the most important ones. We as parents need to realize that teaching our children is our gift to them. Consistency in our discipline is another gift to them. They learn much about the world around them but they still have to have boundaries and we set them and keep them. Good luck with your apporach but remember that no should always be no and yes always yes. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Sorry I got more philosophical here than I wanted to.

This might sound a bit strange... but perhaps he is ready for some big boy incentives? My son has been such a little rascal since he was a baby, and we found two things to work best for him. First, prevention. Dangerous items were way up high, but I would place some of the not-so-dangerous items in a place where he could "find" them and discover. He never knew the difference and had so much fun exploring without having me step in all the time. Second, we used big boy incentives: he moved from a high chair to a booster seat when he proved he could use the chairs properly. He was allowed to help me select food in the produce department when he proved he could behave without pulling items off the shelves. The key to success on this one is using the work "prove" and "show" to remind him that he is in charge of his behavior. 22 months is not so much baby as it is experimental toddler, because even babies start to understand the nature of cause/effect. I think your little guy is enjoying his curiosity and probably testing his limits. Good luck!

I used to teach in the preschool/daycare setting.

At this age, if a child's body is "craving" an activity, you need to provide him with a SAFE alternative. When he wants to jump, let him jump in a safe way.

Get your little man a mini-trampoline, but make sure it has the safety netting. You can get get a small one that can be assembled inside (for weather or when mommy doesn't want to go outside).

Hope it helps. :o)

Blessings,

P. <><

I have three boys 13, 8, and 7. Every one of them is different so start think outside the box. You haven't had a toddler in the house in a long time so your husband is probably out of practice with babyproofing. Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson is a good resource, he also has another book out for the children that really want to push the limits. I went the no spanking route, except in extreme cases a pop on the diaper if in danger. But did not set those limits and I am now paying the price, my 7 year old is still laughing at me. Instead of punishing persay look at it as earning privalges, ask him to play for a little while and when you are done with your task then sit down and read a book with him. He wants your attention any way he can get it. However he doesn't understand the more you correct him the longer it will take to get to fun things. Be consistant with him he will start to see good behavior brings more fun with mom than jumping off the chairs. Good Luck

My nephew did the same things! (Instead of a screwdriver, he did it with a large butchers knife he somehow got a hold of). My sister-in-law put him in time out, which often meant she sat down in time out and held him in her lap (she didn't say anything or hold him in a "hug" position - that would just reinforce his bad behavior). She held him facing away from her but with a firm enough grasp of his upper body that he couldn't wiggle free or hurt himself or her. He had to stay there with her until he calmed down, then he could get up. He wasn't able to sit in time out by himself until he was a bit older and by then, he knew that sitting in time out meant sitting still until he could be calm enough to get out, with or without someone holding him.

To add to the holding the baby is something called the basket hold.
Sit with your child on the floor.
Cross his arms in front of his chest and hold his hands without force behind him and you can also place your legs on top of his.
I know this sounds extreme but it doesn't hurt the child at all it is using physics to hold him in place with little to no effort on your part.
It also helps to talk to him soothingly and tell him why he is being restrained.
The child is then released when he calms down.
I had a son that when I put him in time out in the corner he would spit at me and not cooperate in any manner.
This is finally the only thing that would get his attention.
And later I would ask him if he needed the basket hold to calm down and most of the time he did not.
Good Luck - D.

Hi B., you are not alone. Try and think of discipline as teaching and not punishment. He sounds all boy and this is normal. :)

~Try this, when he has something that he is not allowed to have, try not taking it away - as in the screw drivers. Teach him how they are used instead. Tools are way too much fun to lose to mom.
~My son could identify a Phillips from a flathead by three.
~Now knives and other very dangerous objects are serious and need to be removed right away but take a minute to talk to him about them and why he can't play with them. Show him what they do - like when you cut an apple or a carrot and he can eat the product while he listens to you talk about the dangers to his fingers and body and why this is always a no no.

~What about making a game of it and use pillows from the couch? Have a 'jumping time'. It might take some of the adventure out of making you so excited while he is on the kitchen chairs. :)

My son still jumps from the furniture - he says he is flying and it feels great. It scares me but I have made it as safe as possible for him. He loves airplanes like a fanatic and who knows who he may be when he grows up.

I also read to take a 2x4 or 2x6 and place it on the floor and let them 'walk the plank'. Building a fort is nice with blankets over the kitchen chairs so he is under them not over. How about a box and pretend to be pirates. Something he can sit in and use wooden spoons as oars. These were great fun at 2 and 3.

~Try distractions and not punishments. So less stressful and you are not feeling like you are struggling all the time and it will build his self esteem too. What fun for you both.

Good luck and many great adventures to you both!
C.
www.goingtotheark.com

Hi, B..

I agree that no spankings is good--to a degree.

I am a student of the Bible, and would like to point out to you some verses that have helped me decide this issue.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Proverbs 9:10-12 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Proverbs 10:27 The fear of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short.

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 15:10 Stern discipline awaits those who leave the path; he who hates correction will die.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.

Proverbs 23:13 Do not hold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod to save his soul from death.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

Sincerely,
D. Sanchez

Three comments:
First, you may have to stand nearby and monitor the time outs. Put him back every time he gets up.

Second, look at the behavior he is exhibiting, and try to figure out why it is happening so you can replace it with a more appropriate, acceptable behavior. He obviously gets something out of jumping. Get him a mini trampoline. Tell him when he gets on the chair, "No, trampoline."

Third, as for running away with things, if you make a big deal of him having it, he WILL run. Speak slowly, move slowly, offer something more enticing. If you need to remove something from his hand safely, stand behind him, grab his wrist, and press on the pressure point that opens the hand. His wrists are small -- you should be able to find it quickly. Don't approach him from the front, because you could get hurt.

Above all, be sure you work on compliance now, because it is critical to your sanity when he is a teenager!

P.

I find that just speaking sternly, then pointedly turning my back on my 17 month-old for 30 seconds works well. He thrives on attention and having mama ignore him is difficult. If that doesn't work for you, why not put him in a playpen or crib? Good luck!

My daughter was and is sometimes exaclty like that. Sometimes not putting too much attention will make it go. He probably thinks "oh if I do this ...., it make mommy or daddy scream/chase after me, and that is so funny."
That is what my daughter was doing to my hubby and he did not get it. Once he stopped putting too much attention to her mischief she stopped.
I am not saying that you should ignore him, but don't put too much attention to it (like screaming, chasing him). Maybe help him with his mischief or show him a better, less dangerous, way to do it.
I figured with my daughter that time outs dont work for her. She thinks is another game in which mommy and daddy are trying to put me in a chair, but I won't let them. And she did not get the concept of time out until she was 2 1/2.
What you can do is put a favorite toy in time out. Or put yourself in timeout it works really good for my daughter.