Need Husband Help

If you seen it was a girl's name on caller id THEN ask Why he said it was a 800 number? Sorry but it doesn't sound right and maybe you should sit down and talk with him about it. I have seen so many guys that tell little white lies and not realize its still alie no matter what and thats what gets them in trouble. BUt try talking about it before you do anything else.

I would do some investigation, I know that sounds kindove harsh but my theory has always been I don't want to be the last to know. In my experience when someone begins lying about little things there may be something bigger going on. I know it is hard to think of the person you love lying to you but I think sometimes men keep things from us in order not to "hurt" our feelings. My best suggestion too would be to confront the situation head on and tell him what you saw. My husband was having a friendship with a girl he had known years ago, he was honest about it and I knew when he spoke with her, but I still felt the relationship was uneccessary so I finally put my foot down and said no more. I find it difficult for men to just be "friends" with women and I don't believe temptation needs to be forced. I hope any of this helps, if you need someone (besides your mother) to talk with let me know.

ok here is my thing. If I think my husband is hiding some thing I keep my mouth shut! The tryth will come out. If by chance he is cheating I want pictures, video tapes any thing that I might be able to use in case he wants to leave me high and dry.
Now I don't think he ever would, but I never know what tommorow holds. My advice to you is to just wait and you will know by a few weeks.
It could be lots of things, he could be surpriseing you with some thing or like I said any thing! No matter what don't act like you suspect anything. JUST IN CASE.
We as woman have a sense about these things and no matter what every body else tells you follow your gut.
I wish you all the best.
~T.

Go online to check the phone records to see if there is a reocurring phone #. That's how my sister nailed her husband about his "friend". If there is a # that is reoccuring several times a day....every day, it's best to find out now....rather than him making a fool out of you.

Hello T, my name is D. and I so agree with the last lady, look up online and get the number so you can call her yourself and you will also be able to see how many times this 800 # has called you husband!! The fact that your husband said it was an 800# right off tells me it is probably a lie since why would he have a name for the number?? I am so sorry for you and maybe nothing is really going on yet and the two of you can get some help and work through this but I don't have a good feeling about this at all!! but please don't put it off and do not listen to anything but real proof and your inner self because you have a bad feeling about it already or you wouldn't be here asking for advice but again do it right now! If they are just talking and you really love him enough that you want to save your marriage then you need to get started on it right away! Talk to the woman and maybe she will be honest and tell you everything that way you are not completely in the dark when you confront your husband! I wish you all the luck in the world and remember it isn't about you I promise so don't let no one say it is your fault!! Good luck and I would really like to know how things go and if I can help you at all with anything plus feel free to write to me here or to my e-mail at ____@____.com and I will keep you in my thoughts and prays! D.

TC,
If your husband has nothing to hide then he shouldnt mind if you call any number on his phone that does not seem familiar to you. Remember, we are women and we have "women's intuition" for a reason, if you have that uneasy feeling, about anything that he says or anyone who calls, dont be scared to follow up on those feelings. Thats your responsibility to yourself. If you find out its someone that he has to deal with on a business level then you will no worries, right. Like I said if he has nothing to hide he will dial the number for you and let you find out for yourself!
FOLLOW WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU! You have that inner voice for a reason, listen to it! if he brings up that "we need to have trust" card, then simply tell him thats right, and simply pick his phone up and call, if he wont let you, wait till he is in the shower and get the number then, and wait till he is gone to call, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do!
good luck!
kim

If you are feeling suspicious, look up his cell phone statements online with his carrier to look at his log of calls for the past few months. A friend of mine had the same exact situation happen to her a few years ago with her husband, and unfortunately...he was cheating with another woman. She found out by looking up his statements online. Good luck and I hope he is being faithful to you and its just a flook.

Ok...this may seem wrong, but the next time you see his phone laying out and he's out of sight grab it and check it for strange numbers. If there are srtange numbers, write them down and call information later for the names of these numbers. It will help ease your mind. Yes..I have done it.

If a name appeared on the screen and not just a number, then that tells me that it is someone he programmed into his cellphone. I could be mistaken but as far as I know I've never seen a cellphone that automatically brought a name on the screen without it being someone programmed into his cell. I hope this helps.

The fact that you are even curious about this makes me think there is a lack of true communication happening in your relationship. Right now you are speculationg all possible scenarios. There must be something else going on in your marriage that you don't believe/trust his answer. For no other reason than to improve your communication skills with each other, why don't you suggest marriage/relationship counseling. Or get a friend to watch the kids for one hour a week so the two of you can go somewhere outside of the home to talk. It worked wonders for my marriage.

Hi TC!

My name is J. and I am new to the site. This is actually my very first response. I saw the title and felt an immediate empathy...so had to reply.

I was married to a man for 6 years that didn’t know the meaning of the word "faithful". Of course I had no idea of this at the time I said "I do!” There was no possible way to save that marriage... but I took several lessons I learned away from it.

It seems that I picked up several "bad habits" from my marriage. Over the course of the 6 years, I had learned to not trust. I don't just mean to doubt things I saw, heard or felt...I mean I didn’t trust ...period. I guess it's pretty normal to become like that when the circumstances are justified. What wasn't right is that I continued to look for dishonesty in new acquaintances even when it wasn’t there. This ruined several relationships I engaged in. I was like a bloodhound nonstop sniffing for clues leading to betrayal.

It took me quite awhile to realize I needed to "fix" my way of thinking. The one thing I came to find out is this... Suspicion kills. Plain and simple. If there is not "anything" going on with your husband... your doubting him can, and probably will, have a long term effect on your marriage. I would advise you to casually look for other hints that might point to a problem. I don't mean to rifle through his wallet, to check his mileage in the car daily or even to follow him. (I have done all of this by the way ha-ha...sad I know) What I propose is to look at the marriage from an outside perspective. Are there times when he is simply unaccounted for? Does he seem oddly "jumpy" or defensive about normal questions? Is your "personal" life still active? (Well as active as it can be with 4 small children!) These are just a few examples. Some may not apply to your situation... if he is normally responsive like above. What it boils down to ...is he "bothered" by something. You have lived with this man for 7 years...you know him.

Once you have decided one way or the other about his change or no change in behavior... there is still one thing to consider.

I wish it was as easy to say "trust your instincts” but it isn’t always so in my opinion. Fear of any situation can make things stand out emotionally. By this I mean...if you think something is wrong, you can actually see things that are wrong...that don't really exist. Once that ball of misery starts to form in the very deepest pit of your stomach, it can grow pretty fast.

I don't know how your husband is on conversation... but have you tried to approach him with your feelings...in a way that isn't accusing?

Checking phone records isn't a bad idea..but be aware that some 800 and 866 numbers DO have names on caller ID now. I recieved a call 2 days ago from a "Jacquelyn Kimmel" at an 866 number. It was an advertisement for "Stay 2 free days on us!" at some weird resort ha-ha. But then that raises the question of... do telemarketers call cell phones these days?

Maybe this message won't help you at all... I sure didn’t mean to write a book! I just know how doubting the one you love can hurt so deeply. I wish you the very best. I know you don't know me...but I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

____@____.com
J.

well id have to say that communication is the most important thing in a relationship so tell him how that makes you feel if he cares he will explain

Hi, T my name is H. and first I want to say I have never been married but I do have faith that the one who can guide you better than anyone is the lord. This can be a very touchy subject for many women. We have all been hurt at some point and time so you are definately not alone. I have faith that the women on this site will advise you and support you through whatever is to come. Even though I have never been married one thing is for certain a women's intuition is real. I will keep you in my prayers and we as women need to support and be there for each other. So I am here if you ever want to chat. I no I have not been married but I do know that we as women deserve happiness, honesty, respect, love, and courtesy.

I would say if he is good to you and you know he dont cheat then trust him. I am not sure if you are allowed to answer his phone or not. (my sister in law was not allowed to answer my brothers phone, he would always tell her it could be his girlfirend calling. and it was!) but dont sweat that stuff. Trust is very powerful to have and easy to loose. have faith in your hubby.

Just be on your guard. My hubby cheated on me, and it was a series of lies. Trust your instincts, they will tell you the truth. I have to tell you it is possible to lie to yourself. Try not to let that happen. If you really want peace of mind, ask his cell phone provider if they can provide you with a detailed bill. Also, my hubby and I now have a open cell relationship. He knows that at any point in time I can and will go through his phone and see what he's been up to , and I know he will do the same for me. We both go through each other's wallet or purse just to have the peace of mind that there is not another person in the other's life. We set up this to have an open relationship so that there is complete honesty. Just be careful and watchful. In your husband's defense, sometimes I will find myself automatically lying over something simple and I'm like why did I just say that? and rather than tell the truth, I let the lie continue. So it could just be something like that. But be careful and "keep your eyes peeled". (lol!)

This is a tough situation.

I've been a jealous and suspicious person in the past, and it did me absolutely no good. Jealousy and suspicion have no place in a relationship.

If you are curious about this number, like the other ladies said, look it up. That there was an identifier in the caller ID doesn't mean much. They show up on mine -- even for 800 numbers. They say that if you look for something bad hard enough, eventually you'll find it. It's a black monster that festers and grows until it's out of control. The easiest thing to do is the best thing for your marriage: be open with your husband about how you feel about it. If he has nothing to hide, he'll let you call the number and find out what it is... if he's not so honest, he'll get defensive and probably angry.

If you are careful about your approach with him, you can get this off your chest and out of your mind with minimal fuss.

You know your husband -- if he's otherwise awesome, just dismiss it as a fluke unless you have other reasons to suspect something's up.

Only you know how trustworthy your hubby is. However, it does sound a little fishy to me. Can you check the received calls list on his cell phone when he is asleep or somethinbg? Good luck.