Need Alternative Ideas!!!!

I know this will be hard to do, but ignore his outburst while he is sitting in time out. I see you have moved the chair out of sight, so just let him know what rule or guideline he broke, for instance 'we don't throw toys' and the consequence for throwing the toy is removal of the toy and sitting in time out for 2 minutes.

He is screaming and spitting and behaving this way because it gets attention. As long as he cannot hurt himself or anything else while in time out, it is perfectly acceptable to ignore him for those two minutes. After the time is up, go back to him and repeat again that he is not to throw the toy, and as long as he is not screaming or spitting any more, he can go play again. He'll learn quickly that the behavior is not getting him attention and he'll stop. It may take a few times of leaving him again in time out but unless he tantrums for 20 minutes, it won't be a big deal.

E.,
Well, the terrible twos was a misnomer to me. My daughter hit them (while we were at Camp Pendleton Marine Base...by the way)when she was between 3 and 4. I called her Sybil from the vintage movie with Sally Field who had multi-personalities. I used to put her in her room when she got "wiggy" and she would just scream. I think, for her, she was at the age where she could communicate and didn't always like the answer...perhaps felt misunderstood. However, if you hold firm to high expectations, he will know your boundaries and expectations. So, my only suggestion is consistency and open-mindedness.

Good luck and Semper Fi :)
J.

Hi E.,
You said some nights...is he tired and possibly staying up too late? The will throw huge tantrums if they have not had their sleep.

The "terribles" seem to be worse at the half year marks (1.5, 2.5, 3.5) so you little guy is right on track with that. We have a little bit different time-out strategy that might work for you. I go to the corner with my girl and sit her in my lap. I keep her in a big bear-hug (facing the wall with her back to me and my arms wrapped around her torso) which keeps her from twisting or turning and also puts deep pressure on her joints to calm her. The trick is to make sure you don't look at them, react to them, anything. You are just a chair, but it seems to help calm them having your warmth and body next to them.

Sounds like you are being punished more than your child. The hint is that when you are feeling annoyed, the behavior of your son is usually attention seeking. The fact that he is spitting at you and getting a reaction could be a reinforcement for the behavior. I know it sounds like it would be a bad reinforcement, but attention is attention at that age. I would continue with what you are doing, but remember that it isn't important to necessarily turn him away in the corner. I am sure you know that it should only be one minute for every year so he should not be in the corner longer than two minutes. When you place him in the corner tell him what rule was broken, for example, "the rule is we do not hit people." As hard as it is, ignore the behavior during his time in the corner. If he leaves the corner, return him with very little communication. As a last result, when you can not control his time in the corner, a different alternative is to leave yourself. So if he is spitting on you, say "We do not spit on people. I feel angry when I get spit on." (this of course depends on your child's ability to understand) and then if the behavior continues repeat the rule and tell him that since he is not behaving you are going to leave the bad behavior (important to seperate the behavior from the child) and then go in you room or somewhere else. At this age, depriving him of your presence and attention will be the worst punishment. Try it, hope it helps.

Take a look at what you are disciplinning for. Is there a different way to discipline for that particular behavior. Logical consequence rather than time out.
Offer choices rather than taking the directive roll. These little ones whant some sort of control. If you can offer choices that you both can deal with rather than bieng the director of all things your child will feel some independance. This feeling of control is a big deal to them. Remember you still have control because you decide the choices. The choices can be anywhere from you have the choice of which one he wants to do first brush teeth or get jammies. Or I have offered my 3 year old the choice of you may get in the car with cooperation or without.
Also remember that tatrums are normal, but it does sound like the use of the chair needs to be less.
The reason we think of two's as terrible is in part because of the swich from dependance on us to wanting to be independant. They are not sure how to take over and we are not sure how to let them. Often they want to do something they physically can't. Very frustrating for both mom and kids.
A little about me:
Mom of 2 boys. I have a BA in Elementary Ed with a focus on early childhood.