I previously posted a question about quitting my job as a nanny... below is a copy of my first question written about 3 weeks ago. Now, I think I have made a decision... I'm going to quit and tell them I'd be there 'til the end of August. Now, since that is a ways away, my husband thinks it's TOO soon to tell them- my reasoning is that I should tell them NOW, to give them a nice head's up... What do you all think? Should I break the news to them now since I know now? Or is it too soon?
(UPDATED: To answer a couple questions: I chose the end of August because I didn't want it to be TOO soon after the birth of her new baby (scheduled induction in the first week of July), and I have talked to them numerous times of plans of what will happen right before and after the baby is born with our schedule, and it would be just WRONG to quit before that time. Also, I would be perfectly FINE if they got someone sooner. I really care about these people I work for, but I would be really excited about being with my own family sooner than planned.)
Sorry for such a nit-picky question!!!!
Thanks- to all who responded to my previous question regarding this- I really appreciated all responses.
"........Okay, specifically to those of you that have nannies, how long of a notice do you find appropriate for your nanny to give you if they want to quit? Lets pretend that you are VERY particular and REALLY have attached yourselves to your nanny and so has your 2 year old child... Lets also pretend that you have told the nanny that your world would "turn upside down" if they didn't have her. Also, some other factors to consider... You are expecting your second child in July and already have a lot of the schedule planned out for the nanny, your child is friends with their child and your nanny WOULD like to still have contact with you all afterward... AND you live very close to your nanny. Your nanny has no real HUGE reason to stop working other than she wants to be a SAHM to her 4 kids... She has been working for you for a year...
Okay, I'm the nanny. I want to quit. This is my situation. I feel sickish at the thought of letting these VERY NICE, yet dependent, schedule-driven people down......"
I told them.
I feel SOOO sick to my stomach, but also relieved of this hurdle. I really care about these people. I told the father (he works at the home-she works outside the home)- so I don't know her reaction yet. He sounded understanding, but he's a really nice guy so I don't know if he is hiding his sadness or what...
I thank you all so much for the support! It was something I needed to do, and everyone's words were encouraging!
You are really nice to worry about this so much. My thoughts are that you need to give them as much notice as possible. They need to start looking for someone new. Having said that you also need to be aware that they may opt to find someone before the new baby comes so that the transitions are not all at once for the older child. they may want to "break in" the new nanny with the older child before new baby comes.
You are not letting them down. You don't owe it to them to stay. You do owe them as much notice as possible to give them time to find a new nanny.
Just be honest with them. If they are as good as you say they are, they should understand. Their schedules are not your problem.
Hi M. B-
I was a Nanny, and at first I was going to tell you to give your family a month, HOWEVER, if your family is expecting a baby in July, tell them now.
The transition for the current child for a new Nanny & and a new baby, may be too much in August, then if they child is in preschool, that additional "new" will be really hard.
You also must be prepared to leave the family early, it's only fair, if they find someone soon, the new nanny should start ASAP to get ready for the new baby.
My families all said the same to me, and for many it was very true. I know your decision was a hard one to make, but you must do what's best for your family.
R. Magby
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The nanny relationship is so different than the typical working relationship- ours is still part of the family(I will explain our side of the story). When we got word we were getting relocated obviously we needed to tell our nanny asap because our house was going on the market. It broke my heart to leave her and like you it wasn't like we were firing her because we didn't love her- but for other reasons. The worst part about telling her so soon was that it was like the last 5 months(we told her in July and moved December) were like drug out pain. We tried to get her connected with another family but she gets too attached and didn't want to go there.
Not knowing why you want to wait until August, if you tell them you might preface it with how much you have enjoyed working for them and you want to maintain a relationship with them, that you have made a decision to stay home with your 4 kids for whatever reason. You want to tell them now so that they can begin to plan for this change. The last thing you want is her to have the baby in July and have to deal with this on top of the new baby. You know the Mom and how she might react. Do you think she wants the notice? I would want as much notice as possible if our nanny would quit. Is your husband afraid they will want to replace you sooner? If they did, would that work for you?
I think that is plenty of time. Enough time to find a new nanny then to him/her follow you for a bit to get the ropes with the family.
Boy are you really nice! In this world there are not a lot of people who would give any notice. Especially if they were firing you. So letting them know ahead of time like this is plenty for anyone and I am sure you will get a good recommendation some day from them. You might even miss them and want to go back. Enjoy your little one!
I don't have a nanny and I'm not a nanny, BUT I truly have anxiety issues about childcare for my daughter - seriously, it causes problems. I think sometimes my husband thinks I'm off my rocker! Anyway, if I had found someone that I felt comfortable leaving my 2 year old with and actually felt like she was happy and well taken care of I would want as much time as possible to 1. get over the "loss" and 2. find someone I could be happy with. Plus, with them having another baby on the way, they need plenty of time to find someone else and be able to be calm about bonding with their new little one without having it dropped in their laps that there is no one to care for their kids. Tell them now.
All that being said, I am SO happy for you that you are going to get to be a SAHM - yeah!! I ache to be one and can't wait for that day to come. So, please don't think I'm trying to make you feel bad. I'd do whatever it took to be a SAHM.
