Need answers if there is any??? I have always been close to my parents growing up as an only child, but as I get older I am watching my parents health deteriate and it hurts me so. My mom is diabetic & I am not sure if what I am about to ask has anything to do w/ that? This has been going on for awhile now...when my mom eats ANYTHING...she runs straight for the bathroom to throw up. She was told it was acid reflux & was given meds. When that did not work she went in for surgery to open up her airway. Well that has not worked either & it's back to square one. This has really made it hard to go out to eat as a family or even have a cookout, i miss this time together. She NEVER feels good and it hurts me to see her hurt. I have been on her to GO TO THE DR. and she says to me - "I dont need this right now." Like she blows me off & just doesn't want to talk about it. I try to talk to dad & have him talk to her, but it's like they have already talked about NOT talking to me about the problem & he says the same thing she says " I don't need this right now." I cant stop caring, but it's like I have taken over the mother role. I just dont know what to do. I cant help someone that doesn't want to help themselves - but this is my mom & I would be lost w/out her. I know she has recently gone to the dr & he said to spend the first day drinking water only! The second day eating crakers only etc...etc... what...that makes no sense. Has anybody been through this? Please help me if you can. Any stories or sugestions. Thank you.
Throat/esophageal cancer?
I'd tell her what you just said here... that you'd be lost without her and you need her to take care of herself, and that you'll be there for her to help in what she may need.
She could have an obstruction in her bowel or lower stomach. This could be something like a benign growth but it could also be cancer. Is she having bowel movements. If not then she had some kind of blockage. The only way to get a diagnosis for something like this would be a colonoscopy. Has she ever had one of these. I think the recommended age is 40 or 50 to start getting them. Does she have insurance. If so she should get scheduled for one as soon as possible. Unfortunately this is one of those things that if she doesn't catch it early it might be too late. Please encourage her to see her doctor. This does not sound like normal stomach upset. If she doesn't go there is nothing you can do other than be supportive. I am sorry that you are going through this.
Throwing up all the time is not good for you.
It can mess up your electrolytes (causing heart problems) and the stomach acid does a number on your teeth.
That on top of the diabetes makes for a delicate health situation.
Is the throwing up involuntary?
Does she want to (is she bulimic)?
Physical vs psychological causes call for different approaches.
My grandmother was born with a congenital fold in her stomach.
She naturally had what people who go for stomach stapling and lap band surgery for - a very tiny stomach that just could NOT hold a lot of food.
She ate like a bird her whole life - a meal for her was a few bites, but she'd have lots of tiny snacks all day and she was thin as a rail.
Perhaps your Mom only needs very small amounts of food but more frequently.
Can YOU call her doctor and tell him what is going on?
She might not be giving him all the details he needs to know.
Keep on her about seeing a doctor, and start talking with her about her funeral plans - that might wake her up a bit.
My stepfather used to do this. Eat and then immediately feel sick and have to run and throw up. They did every test going, and we were really concerned. It turned out to be helicobactor, and they gave him the pills - simple antibiotics, and omeprazole, and it is gone.
I bet it is something like that, You could even try her on a week of omeprazole from walmart (zegerid) it is only $10, and may save you a dr visit.
I'm not trying to freak you out but this happened with my aunt. She had sclerderma (spelling is probably WAY off) it's a disease where your organs basically turn to stone. At first she'd just get sick all the time then eventually she wouldn't eat at all, we thought she was anorexic (she was a very proud woman) and all of our questions were met with "we don't know.. we're looking into it.." etc. Turns out they'd known she had had this disease for like 10+ years and refused to tell anyone (even their own only son). We were pissed when she died and it came out that they knew what was going on all along. If I were you I'd get angry and have a talk with dad. You aren't a little kid anymore and they are obviously keeping something from you. I would have went off a long time ago, or at least threatened to call the state and find out how to force her to the dr. or declare her incompetent and take over her care. I guess that's just me though.
I am so sorry that your mother is feeling so poorly. It is very frustrating when we cannot figure out exactly what is going on with our bodies. Just remind her, she is her own best advocate. She is allowed to feel frustrated, and angry that all of this is out of her control, but also remind her, Doctors do not always know everything. They are human and there is a process of elimination to try to find the answer. She is the Patient so what she demands is what she should get.
I do not know what is going on with your mothers health, but I have been ill for months now and the one rule I have is "No, Secrets".
No secrets with anyone in the family. If they want to know and ask, they will be told what is going on and the plan that is ongoing.
Our daughter has been included on every aspect. She is 20, she can handle the truth better than secrets. She needs to know in case my husband is not around for any reason. Work, he becomes ill, if there is an emergency with his own parents.
You need to have a heart to heart and explain you know you are their child, but you are also a grown woman. You want to know exactly what is going on with your moms health and what the plan is. Let them know it makes you wonder why they will not share the information. "It makes it seem a lot scarier than it probably is."
My husbands family sounds like your parents. Everything is a big damn secret. It is so ridiculous. They "Happy Dance" around each other. Some people are privy to some info and others are not. Makes a person not trust any of them. Good luck with your parents, As long as you act like an adult, the more they will treat you as one.
I think you need to have a heart to heart with your mom. Sit down with her and tell her that you know that she doesn't want to talk about, and while you respect her wishes, you love her too much not to express your concerns.
Tell her that you want her to be around to celebrate X milestone (major wedding anniversary, arrival of grandkids-pick something that means something to her). Tell her that you're really concerned about this and that you want her to be well and happy and to reach this milestone. Let her know that you empathize with her--she may be scared at whatever it is they find, or feel like the food choices for a diabetic squash a lot of the joys of life, or that it's a death sentence, or etc.
Tell her that you will not bring it up to her again, but because you love her so much, you felt that you had to say it this one time. Tell her that you love and support her, and that you will go with her to doctor's appts, etc.--whatever you can do to support her you will.
Then, follow up with whatever is decided--if she says that she hears you but wants you to drop it, then do so. Give it 6 months or a year, and let it be (as hard as it might be). Yes, it's sad & awful to watch, but it's her health and her life. If she says, yes, she wants you to go with her to doctor's appts, then make yourself available. If she says she just doesn't want to talk about it now, give her a month, then ask her how she is feeling, if the docs have found anything new, etc.
I will keep you and your mom & dad in my thoughts & prayers. (hugs)
My diabetic nephew had very good success with digestive enzymes. From what I understand diabetes can interfere with your body's ability to produce certain enzymes (I'm not a health care provider of any type - this is just my "mom" opinion).
I found them at Whole Foods. We like a brand called "Enzymedica."
Is your mom a competent adult? If so there's not much you can do to get her to change her behavior. I would seek counseling for myself to learn how to accept the situation as it is, and continue to live my life the best I can.
Good luck.
PS: Obviously she needs to get to a doctor but if you can't get her to what options do you have? Not many.
J.,
I'm not a doctor and I don't know much about diabetes....definitely research her symptoms and how that throwing up relates....
I don't want to scare you but the first thing that came to my mind was esophageal cancer...I watched my stepfather struggle with that and it's usually at stage 3 or 4 before it is diagnosed--that's when it becomes difficult to swallow, etc.
Good luck to you & your mom.
Wow. I feel for your concern. Throwing up is so bad for us, as I am sure you are well aware.
The problem with trying only water then adding crackers is that an increasing number of people -- even in older years -- are developing problems with gluten, then from there other food issues such as with dairy.
I'd suggest to her getting tested for some food issues.
Then there is also the issue of healing the gut.
I know these links have to do with other things as well, but they are relevant and hopefully will give you some ideas.
Easy blood testing for food allergies: http://www.lef.org/Vitamins-Supplements/ItemLCM73001/Food...
Healing the gut ideas & links to testing: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2011/03/gut-brain-and-ba...
Gluten issues: http://jccglutenfree.googlepages.com/
Organization for people who don't know what's wrong: http://inod.org/default.aspx
They are hiding info from you for some reason. They either can't afford to treat it, are afraid to find out what it is, or don't want you to worry about what they know. That's all I can think of. There are various things you can do depending on your age so I can't make a blanket recommendation. But to alleviate some of their potential fears, tell them you are fearing the worst (cancer) so they might as well tell you, let you go to the doctor with them, tell them you can not only handle it but you would like to be helpful, that you need to know what medical conditions the family has so you can watch out for it yourself for you and your kids downline, etc. Research her doctor. Maybe he's not good. Do they have insurance? If not, perhaps they can't afford the treatment she needs and may need some research from you or your friends on how to get help.
Doctors don't know. It's possible this has become a psychological thing. Once that gag reflux becomes so loose that throwing up is easy, it becomes a habit. So long as she lives on her own and is still with your father, I don't see how you can get too involved. PRAY.
This was something I learned of on one of those medical mysteries TV shows. The woman threw up for years and no one could figure out what it was.
Look up Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. Try this one first:
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/gastrointestinal_...
I don't think her present symptoms have to do with her diabetes. The first thing that came to my mind, was my sister's mother in law had this and for her it was her esophagus was crooked, in her older age she had shrank in height and it appears her esophagus was bent in more than one place. I hope your mother's situation has a remedy and hope her health stabilizes. As for your question of helping someone who doesn't want to help themselves; only in the case of self neglect. However, it's possible that your parents are withholding information from you, maybe they're just wanting to keep their health private, as hard as it is for you you'll just need to show them you will respect that. You can tell them your feelings, your concerns and when they listen/hear you they may realize keeping their health private isn't protecting you and they may disclose then. Good luck
As a recently diagnosed diabetic, I know how hard it is to adjust your diet to accommodate it. It also has a tendency to make you nauseous at the drop of a hat. BUT, that said, if everything is making her ill, it's most likely a signal that something else is wrong. I also had a stroke with my nausea center one of the areas affected, and I was still able to get mine adjusted. Does she have Heartburn with the nausea? Or just the nausea? Acid Reflux usually has severe heartburn along with it. Also, if she is diabetic, just drinking water and not eating anything does not sound like a good idea to me. Letting your blood sugar get too low is almost as bad as it being too high... I would have her see a specialist for diabetes, if her current physician is not trained in that field. Try to explain to your folks that you don't want to add to the stress they are under but that her health is very delicate right now and you want to help her get it back on track. Hope it all turns out well for you and yours!
P.
Sorry to hear about this. Google the word gastroparesis. Sometimes there are certain foods that the stomach can't handle - and this ailment can often be brought on by diabetes. If severe enough, sometimes the person can only handle liquids and a very short list of easy to digest foods like crackers. I hope she continues to visit a GI doc (perhaps get a 2nd opinion) for this because there are other meds she could try. She could eat 6 small meals a day as well and that sometimes helps - and some docs will suggest miralax. The acid reflux does often go hand and hand with gastoparesis. Not sure if this is what is going on, but it kind of sounds like it could be playing a part in how she is feeling. Do your best to encourage her to visit another doc because she shouldn't have to suffer needlessly.
