Mamas & Papas-
This morning, my 3 year old told me he didn't want me to go to work, he wanted for us to stay home all day. This was a bit of a surprise because all along he's been one to send me off in the mornings with a "mommy, you go to work now" and don't let the door slam behind you attitude type of send off.
Wasn't able to get to the bottom of the change of spirit this morning, but any thoughts/ suggestions on how to handle it?
I told him that it was important for me to go to work so that I could earn money. I said mommies and daddies go to work and children go to school, that's just the way of it. I explained that come saturday and sunday we could spend the whole day together, and at home, if he chose to. No assuaging or comforting him. When it was time for me to leave, he refused a kiss, refued strokes and refused a tickle.
I expect he settled not more than 10 minutes after I left, but even so, any thoughts on how to make this easier on him/ us?
Thanks,
F. B.
He's a bit off his game. After a 2 week vacation where we were with him 24x7, he's having a hard time getting back into the old routine. That, plus jetlag, and perhaps just getting up on the wrong side of the bed, might have made for a clingly little boy.
We've got the occassional day off rotered in in the near future. That should be happy making for all concerned.
Thanks for all the tips,
F. B.
I think they/we all have days like this sometime or another.
Maybe he's tired or coming down with something.
It usually passes fairly quickly.
Every once in a great while if you can it's ok to take a day off especially when they're young.
It gets a lot harder to do (and is almost impossible) as they get older when missing school / making up homework is a pain in the behind.
awwwwww. so sweet, and yeah, tugs at a mommy's heartstrings.
but don't let it become some big dramatic thing in your head. you might be melting on the inside, but remain practical and cheerful on the outside. he's only 3, and really really needs you to model sensible behavior for him.
as far as the future goes, when my boys were in public school they were allowed 1 free day per school year. no reason necessary, no rules, they got to pick one day to play hooky and i'd play hooky with 'em. it rocked.
but your post reminds me of one very, very sweet and special day with my younger. he was about around 9, and it was in our first spring of homeschooling. my older was off with a group doing something or other, and i was getting ready for work and he was packing a backpack with school stuff to bring along to the job with me. he looked out at the lovely morning and said wistfully 'i wish we could just have a day off.' i started to make bracing noises, then looked at his big blue eyes and did a 180. we went for a walk in the woods, climbed trees, made a picnic lunch, read to each other, and played baseball. it was magical.
but the key to the magic is to keep it a rare and precious treat.
khairete
S.
Suz T., I was thinking the same. I can't recall the author of the prose, "If I Could Raise my Child Again". She said, to the effect, she'd take more time off to smell roses... (Erma Bombeck?).
Saturdays and Sundays are not like a weekday off. Weekends have a vibe different from weekdays off.
If you can, take off, do it soon!
ooh that just sucks when your baby tells you not to leave him!!!
If he is NOT settled when you get home...keep it simple...ask questions about how he's feeling. Reassure him again....
If he is fine...leave it alone...be excited to see him!
If it happens again? Take the time to ask the simple questions of what he is feeling, etc. Then make plans to do something special when you get home or on the weekend!
I know your little guy is 3 and that's when I've noticed a lot of kids developing separation anxiety. At 3, the world becomes a more real place for them. If they've never been to your job with you, in their minds, work is a black hole. They have no idea what it really means or where you really are. I think it helps to bring them to work with you at least once so that when mommy goes to work, they KNOW where she is. There is a national "Bring Your Child To Work Day." Don't remember when it is, but you might consider taking him with you if you can.
Mine has done that, and it hurts. I usually can promise him that I'll pick him up a little early (if I can) and then I'll take him somewhere other than straight home. If that's not possible, I might make plans to do it later in the week or tell him of special plans on the weekend.
Sometimes he's tired and needs more time to get ready for the day. Sometimes he just wants a change in the routine. Sometimes he just wants uninterrupted hugs from his mommy. It always reminds me that I need to take some extra minutes with him.
I hear you, I used to be a school teacher. I spent more time with other people's children then I did with my own. And for what, 2 cars, that sat in the parking lots while we worked. 2 days off a week to spend catching up the cleaning, the groceries and the errands...sometimes even more exhausted.
I chose a better way. 8 years ago I made the decision to do network marketing so in time I could be at home for my children. It took me 2 years and I was home with them.
And it was the best decision of my life. It was and is worth every sacrifice that had to make in those 2 years. here we are 8 years later and I still work from home (the kids are at school so I get a lot done during the day) and when they come home after school, it is family time. it is REALLY family time.
I ask moms all the time, are you willing to do today what others won't so that you can do tomorrow what others can't?
B.
Who is with him when you're at work? Could there be anything about his caretaker that he's no longer comfortable with? Maybe his caregiver was short-termpered with him yesterday? If he's in a group setting maybe one of the other kids has been difficult with him? Or maybe your child did seomthing yesterday he shouldn't have done and knows today won't be pleasant?
The other possibility - he wasn't feeling well this morning? 3 yr olds don't know how to communicate that they ahve a headache or feel queasy, etc. Or if he's going through a grow spurt or developmental surge he's exhausted and jsut wants to lay around.
We all have those days don't we? where we'd rathe spend the day in our PJ's on the couch...
You don't say, but it sounds like you leave the house and he is being left there (maybe a sitter or grandma, etc.) So to him it feels like he's being left?
I am a fan of dropping off at a center. The child gets dropped off first and it's a special thing to go to "school." Easy to make a big deal of it, too.Then you are not just leaving him at the house, which could be tough emotionally for sure.
