I have two wonderful kids daughter 4 and son 3. I work a very wierd shift I work from 4:30 pm till 1 am. I'm serperated from their father. He watches over them at night until I wake up, but the only problem I am having is my kids scream and yell that they don't want to me to leave. I mean it gets so bad that I literally have to pry them off of me and their dad has to deal with them screaming like they will never see me again. It stings like their is no tomorrow, I don't know how to handle this or what I can do to help the kids and their father. But in all I want to be able to help my kids. Does anyone know what I can do to help them?
The only method that ever worked for me was sneeking out! Say you're going to the bathroom and have dad entertain them so you can slide out. Hopefully their having too much fun to notice that your gone or can forget about the agony of not having you around to get back to what their doing. Also you said weird shift I was wondering if you ever considered working from home? I know a solid gimmic free way if your interested let me know.
i am actually having the same problems with my daughter at daycare..she wont let me go, one of the teachers actually has to pick her up and hold her. the thing that i dont feel bad about is that like the others she is ok right after i leave. she has been going to the same day care for about a yr an a half. the daycare she went to before she did that and i actually found out that it was the teachers she didnt like..one actually told her to shut up and be quiet so the other kids could hear the tv. both of my children told me this and told their father so we changed. if you talk to them and they are ok when you pick them up then it is probably for attention. i think that's y my daughter does it too, because she gets attention from the teachers when she does it or she'll get to help them do "big girl" stuff. she is always fine, i never have to worry about her, they have even had her call me at work if she gets sad or wants to talk to me. my advice would be to talk to each of your kids separate and where they cant hear each other, if they are both happy at dads and have fun, then you have nothing to worry about...i know it's hard to not worry when they do that but trust me, they will be ok. my daughter is very happy every day when i get there to pick her up...just know that they will be ok. hope this helps
Hi M.! As long as nothing is wrong with that relationship, I would try what I've read. I've had experience with this with my 2 1/2 year old daughter (and I've also read tons about it) and the advice that I received that works is make the "good bye" short and sweet. It really works. My daughter would cry for me when I left but the babysitter would call as soon as I got to my car door 100 feet away and say she is fine and I would hear that. When you linger or feel bad the kids think you have a problem leaving them.
The kids play off your emotions so try (as hard as it is) not to be sad when you leave. Before your ex gets to you or you drop the kids off, tell them how much fun they'll have and ask what have they done there recently. When you get there eplain to them that mommy has to work and you love them and will see them later. Tell them to have fun with daddy. Give them a kiss and run out while you are saying 'bye I love you" in the cheeriest voice you can find. Have your ex call you when they are fine. The first few days will be no change but then it will change dramatically. That is as long as nothing else is wrong (i.e. problems with dad, etc.). You know that best.
Good luck!
S.
as long as you feel comfortable leaving them with their father, then i think the kids are playing your emotions. they are making you feel bad and probably it is killing dad too. they are getting more attention and it gets them what they want. this doesnt mean they are bad but they are practicing the old divide and conquor routine. this is normal and just say good bye and leave without fanfare. dont let them see that it is getting to either of you. hope it helps
I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this.
Please keep in mind that I am speaking from NO experience as my baby is only 8.5 months old.
Have you considered that they are not happy with their father? Does he make an effort to play with them? Is he nice to them when you are not around?
They know (since this has been your arrangement for a bit), that you will return, so their anxiety must come from some other place.
If it is simply that they miss you, then they will need to get over it (sounds harsh - I am sorry).
But, investigate. I would be asking my babies why they got so upset. I would ask them if they do not like staying with Daddy. And if so, then why?
I don't mean to bring a rainy cloud...just grasping for ideas of why they would get so upset.
Hope I helped in some way.
