Know Any Suggestions or Free Lawyers No Legal Aid!

I don't really think you need a lawyer. I think you need to maintain the agreement as set. He sees her when he wants within the parameters set and don't worry about meeting the girlfriend. If she's not around your daughter, it doesn't really matter. You live your life and take care of your baby.

His relationship with your daughter is not your responsibility. As long as he's playing by the rules and your daugther is not in danger (danger being not just physical, but developmental, emotional, etc) than you should just limit your focus. When daddy is going to see her, be excited and say, "You're going to see Daddy!" And in your communications with him, let him know that you are taking responsibility for your role in her life, and you're leaving the responsibility for his role in her life to him.

We always want our children to have great access to great dads, but when we try to create the situation we take on more than what we should, add stress we don't need, and I think it actually undermines the goal and the dad's just pull back more because they don't feel like dealing with our perspective that, whether it's right or wrong, is still ours and usually unwelcome.

Ultimately, A., what I have learned is that there are no magic words or actions we take that will make the dad's suddenly wake up and fly right. They are going to do what they are going to do. All we affect is our own levels of stress. And by just letting him be, he has the opportunity to stop being defensive and therefore, possibly be reflective and make changes not because you told him to (they hate that) but because he feels he should.

Try being supportive, sympathetic and compassionate when given the opportunity. If he feels he has an aly in you, he may feel less inhibited in reaching out to his daughter and may be more receptive to advice that's not judgemental but caring. And remember, men too get sucked into unhealthy relationships that make them learn and grow, and sometimes just for a time, a learning time in their lives. I know that I had a horrible relationship with a guy who really abused me (verbally) and manipulated me. I am stronger because of it, and nothing anyone on the outside did could make it do any thing less than run its course.

Don't be stuck in the here and now. Life is happening to him, and things may change drastically in a year or two, which is a long time, but within the context of a lifetime, not so long. In the context of your stressing over this thing you can't change though, is a very long time indeed.

Just make sure he's doing his part - including sending you your support - and don't limit his ability to support her activities if it's not necessary. If you do feel you need a lawyer (who am I to say?) check with the University of Pennyslvania. They have a community law program connected with the law school.

Hope I helped!

Hi A., I wanted to share some thoughts with you since you gave me some great advice!
Try not to stress about this, hopefully the girlfriend will not become a permanent fixture in his life and when the seperate he will return to being there for his daughter. If he doesn't and decides the gf is more important then it is his loss not your or your daughters.
Your daughter will find many people through out life to fill the void of the absent parent. And you too will have to play mother/father role. Which you will be able to do, you seem stable and you have your own experience to go from.
With them being in a different state, it would worry me all too much that something would happen even at the grandparents that I would have him visit with your daughter on your territory. Maybe set up times at family friendly places(monbounce, mini golf, lunch)something with just the three of you until you feel safe leaving her with him. Even if you don't get along great with him you two will be in public and not at your house so it will be neautral grounds!
Rely on your family and friends when you get stressed of being a single parent and take advantage if some offers to watch your little girl for even a hour or two, you will have big shoes to fill in her life and a lot will ride on your shoulders but you are in full control of what is going on and take advantage of that.
I hope you get your support too, nothing like trying to raise a child on one income! I like to think I'm an expert in that area since I've gone through that end for ten years!
Best of luck!
J.

You might try contacting a Woman's Place to see if they can offer any direction/support.

In my own opinion, I would file for full custody and support. This way you could 'allow' visitation if you wanted, but you wouldn't have to let your daughter visit. I, personally, would not want her subjected to this girlfriend who exhibits bad, addictive behaviors.

I'm not sure why you think you need a lawyer at this point but I can suggest two. One is David Sowerbutts (sp?), he is a very nice guy and will probably work with you on payments. I spoke with him once and he seemed to care more about my welfare than money. Also, Larry Lefkowitz (sp?), he is not like any other lawyer I know. He has set fees for everything and he does not bill by the hour. He's not going to rip you off. www.larrythelawyer.com They are both in Bucks County.

I think that maybe you should at least talk to a lawyer, explain your situation and see what they say. Just beware that some lawyers are going to try to talk you into going to court just to get your money. These two guys seem pretty genuine.

That is a tough situation and sad that your daughter is exposed to that behavior. I am not sure who you need to call, but you need to call someone to have your daughters best intrests in place. if i find any info I will forward it to you. www.livegreeneasy.com

If he dosen't want to see her. Keep it all documented. My ex would not let me know or see where he lived. Then he just up and stopped seeing them all toghter. I still have a court order in place just in case one day he wants to come by. But not holding my breath. Sometimes the guys find another women and they just stop seeing there own flesh and blood. Usaly the girlfriend doesn't want the responbility of her boyfriends kid around. It is a shame, but some men don't have the balls to stand up to them. Just make sure that your daughter loves you and that you will always love her. And would never leaver her. Take care.

Do you want your daughter to have contact with her father? If you want her to see him more than an hour a month, then I think you need to do something. He needs to leave this girl, but that's a whole other story and not really anything you can do about it. If it were me, I wouldn't want my kids anywhere near someone like that whether I met the person or not. I'm not really sure what can be done legally, but hopefully you can get it worked out. You just need to think about what is best for your daughter. Good luck.