Kids - Central Falls,RI

What about something like "______, I hear your mommy telling you that is not okay. If you cannot listen to mommy, you will sit on time out."

That way, you're not undermining the mom, you're backing her up :) And you're still enforcing your own rules and consequences.

HTH
T.

Um.. I'm a daycare provider, too. If I were you- next time her son is pushing your son around just say, "it's the weirdest thing... (her son's name) only seems to do that when you're here to get him. When he's done that after you're gone I do a short time out, which has mostly taken care of the problem."

It's not right that the only thing she says is that her kid is "naughty".
I bet you if it was your kid pushing hers around with you only saying "oh, how naughty" she'd say something to you.....

good luck- it's a hard spot to be for sure.

Are you licensed? if not by law you can only babysit children from one family at a time. I run a home daycare and I have perfectly well behaved kids until their moms walk in and they totally change, I thinks it's becasue mom allows behavior that i do not allow. probably the same with you. Also your sons toys and the toys you use for baby sitting should be sepreate. J.

Your day care center, your rules. He is manipulating you because he knows you will step back. The mom may be holding back because it is her style, or because she expects YOU to handle it in your own center. Just because it's your home doesn't mean you aren't a professional. Step in and give this child the consistency he needs. You've tried it by holding back and it's not working - so show his mom how it works in your home. She may be just an anxious that there is pushing going on all day (with her son as the target) and you're not doing anything.

It IS your place to step in.

How long has this been going on? I think the first few times I would have let it slide and not said anything or corrected him since his Mom was there. But since she is not doing anything about it you need to, this is about the safety of your son. necessary to put him in time out then do it. It is your house and he knows he needs to follow your disciplinary rules in your house. It sounds to me he is just testing you to see what you will do when Mommy is there.

It IS your place to say something.

The boy, is being a tyrant. Against your son. At pick up time.
This is your son. You have to stand up for him.
He is YOUNGER than that boy, as well.
And it is just NOT proper behavior.
He is STILL in your home.... when this is going on.

I have done home daycare before too.
If another child was being that way to my child, I TOLD the Mom/parents.
And this did happen to my Daughter. The girl I watched was 2 years old and was a real "Alpha" kid... and she really tried to over-rule my daughter.

My daughter would stand up for herself and did not want to share everything either. It is HER home. HER things. I did NOT make or expect, my daughter to Share everything with the other child.
I had toys/things for the other kids, and then clearly made her room OFF limits. I taught the other kids that. And my daughter.
It is our home.
Not everything in it, is up for grabs by the other kids.
The other kids have to learn that too. That is just the rules.
I explain that, to the other kids.

Your son is young. So you do have to stand up for him and speak up... because he is only 18 months old. They cannot defend themselves, verbally or conceptually, by themselves.

The other kid is 2 years old. And compared to your son, that is a real leap developmentally.

Again, when that happened to my child, in my home and I was the care-giver... I DID speak up and talk to the Mom about it.
That is what I am there for.

This is pretty common in my experience, that kids will act a certain way with you and then change when parents come in. I had a little girl that did this all the time... not the pushing, but the change in behavior. I don't think you should step aside... I think you should correct him and model what you say in front of the mom. And I agree with Thea S. Including the Mom in it will take away from the awkwardness of you disciplining in front of her.

Also, it sounds as though you take your son to their home for childcare? Maybe your son could take a few of his toys to share, so it wouldn't be bombarded with the mine mine mine as much. It's harder when you're at someone else's house, but in my daycare my kids can put away toys that they don't want to share with the daycare kids. It doesn't really matter to me if they are "their" toys or not because we have so many toys here. But the rule here is that if it's in the common rooms then it has to be shared with everyone. If my kids want to play with them by themselves, they have to go in their bedroom to play, which is off limits to the daycare kids.

I think you're in a lot harder spot when you do care in somebody else's house.

Good luck!

Why don't you just pick your child up off the floor and hold him in your arms when you hear the Mom arriving? That will keep him out of harm's way, and it will be interesting to see if the 2 year old then vents his frustration/anger/attention-getting actions on furniture, a toy, his younger sibling or does nothing at all.

Stand up for your son. You are his mother and its your job to protect him. Try pulling the mother aside and talking to her about her son's behavior. Or maybe you could tell him to go to time out right in front of her. I use to work in a daycare and one time I had to put a child in time out in front of the parent. I don't know how this parent would react but when i did it this parent didn't mind. Once the child seen that I wasn't afraid to put him in time out it changed his behavior. I don't know if this would work in your situation but maybe you can give it a try.

Good Luck