My daughter is 3 year old only child. She has a fantastic imagination which we encourage. She has several imagery friends. I have noticed that as she gets older they seem to be becoming more real. She is in preschool two days a week. There is one little girl about 6 months younger then her that she plays with once a week outside of school. Other than that she mostly plays with adults or teenagers. This fall we are going to put her in tee ball. I have also checked out the programs at the local library and have just started attending 1 of these a week. I have spoken with her teacher at preschool and the teacher says that at school she plays with the other kids great. My family does have a history of mental illness so I do worry...
I know that imaginary friends are normal but to what extent? When should I be concerned?
The only time I foresee being concerned about imaginary friends is if they take the place of building real relationships with people or if they become dangerous or violent. Beyond that there should be no cause for concern; my 8 year old daughter still plays with her imaginary friends but also has healthy relationships with children her own age.
Ha! Mental illness.. You are cute.
Her behavior is very "normal" and age appropriate.
She is probably extremely creative and tends to see the world way different than other children.. Good for her.
Play along, but do not allow her "friends" to do bad things. If she says her imaginary friend broke the vase.. You need to call her on it. But the rest is fine.
I remember one of my imaginary friends.. his name was Billy. He held my hand, he sat next to me at dinner.. My mom would even give him a small plate of food. He did not go to nursery school with me. he waited at the house in my room.
We would hold hands even out in public. .. and at night my mom would kiss me good night and also give Billy a kiss goodnight.
And then one day, my mom put the plate down for Billy and I told her, "Billy is not here anymore. He went back to his own house." Never saw Billy again.
I miss my son's imaginary friends. They were a stellar influence on him.
I grew up in Japan, where imaginary friends are often thought to be real. Protective spirits who watch over children, until the children don't need them any longer. Sometimes ancestors, sometimes just spirits who found themselves needed.
Totoro is a great animation of part of that concept.
Imaginary, real... I don't know. But I miss my son's. They stopped coloring our lives over about 2 years. 4&6? They just started coming less frequently, and faded so gradually I'm not even sure.
Shout out & hugs to my son's for helping make his life come alive with wonder, and magic... comfort, and consequences.
I am the oldest and my husband is the oldest. We both had imaginary
friends.
I'm a certified parent educator--It's very common for preschoolers (ages3-4) have im friends. In fact, it means that they are developing a nice sense of imagination. We should respect their im friends and not mock this stage in a preschooler's life. We do not want to take away their freedom to explore -- and their privacy of developing this.Usually first borns have imaginary friends.
This imagination is very cognitive, allows emotional growth, and helps the preschooler find out about her world.
Keep tv at a minimum and let her continue what she is doing at her own pace.
Still involve your daughter w/ a few playmates -- real ones --- on a weekly basis. And a few activities outside of home. **Very important!
Everything sounds a-ok ! Your daughter does well w/ other kids in school and does not isolate herself. That's great !
My kids are far apart in age. My daughter had an imaginary friend. It was a super experience for her. The only time I had to intervene is when she used the im friend to lie. (She was 4 then). I simply stated that it was not ok that she lied--but, she was still my best girl. She never did it again.
She's really fine, I wouldn't worry. I have known kids with them until they are 5 or so. As Laurie A said, don't allow her "friends" to be blamed for her wrongdoing, otherwise she's fine.
Now if she started choosing to play with her imaginary friends over real ones, then I would be concerned.
My little one is a very unique little girl with a crazy imagination and that's what I LOVE about her. Do I worry about her sometimes? Yes. Do I think that "Dr. Robin" and "Trick" are a problem? No. :) I love her imaginary friends. They are quite humurous little guys! They are blue and red and are both Doctors who live with their grandma and live on our tile. She gets quite upset when my daycare kids "step" on them. It's so cute.
I would not worry a bit. Lots of kids have great imaginations and those kids are the best kind as far as I'm concerned. :
For a three-year-old to have imaginary friends who get more and more real is absolutely normal. Children don't have imagination and reality sorted out yet (and they won't get it worked out for another few years), so they combine the two, often with very interesting results. As other answerers have said, don't let the imaginary friend be the excuse for trying out misbehavior.
If you, on the other hand, start having imaginary friends, no matter how real they get, please see a counselor.
Both mine had imaginary friends. My oldest daughters friends were "Big Daddy Meatball" and "Fat Tony" we still have NO idea how she came up with those. We're thinking she may have been a mob wife in a past life LOL. My youngest daughter had her friend "Jessica" who she would set up parties with on her fake phone.
My younger daughter actually did have a childhood-onset "mental illness" (see http://www.ItsNotMental.com) but what you are describing sounds wonderful and normal! My daughter heard "voices" and they eventually got worse as she got older. And yes, like you, we worried, but the odds are something like 1 in 60,000 that it is a childhood-onset schizophrenia. And - it was different than just "imaginary friends."
Also, there were other signs my little girl had such as severe sleeping problems and prolonged screaming and crying (not normal "tantrums").
I hope this is not taken as me plugging my book, but I do have descriptions and information that may actually put you at ease. It is the type of book I wish I had had before my baby was even born (we also have a strong family history of "mental illness").
I had an imaginary friend (he was a thundercat), my 5 year old had an imaginary friend for a couple of years, Tyrone from Backyardigans, and my friend's 5 year old has Batman. It's totally normal, although it sounds like your daughter totally made hers up which is awesome. I wouldn't worry about it.
she's fine. she's better off than children who DON'T have her imagination, and who are over-scheduled, over-stimulated and micro-managed to the point of never using their most precious resource, their brains.
relax, mama.
khairete
S.
Imaginary friends are normal. My son's preschool class shared an imaginary friend when DS was 4 - his name was (and is) Imaginary Bob.
