Imaginary Friend Anyone?

Most of the responses are very sensible and heartwarming. When my now 12 year old was 3 or 4, he would sit talking softly with his imaginary friend, "Tristin".I thought it was cute and innocent. In fact, as others have said, it seemed to calm and re-direct him. I think you don't have anything to worry about. Enjoy him, love him and believe in him. Hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving.
B.

Imaginary friends... VERY NORMAL!! I've read it is also a sign of intellegence in a child. All three of mine had one and my 4 year old daughter still does! It is very sweet. Tell Daddy not to worry. He can use this time to play along and connect with his daughter.

My oldest son Karl had a friend named Hunksnich who lived int the walls. They were really good friends and could talk about everything. My younger son Kary had a real best friend Johnny and they had friends with names that rhymed that they played with when they were at their respective houses. Imaginations on fire. Love her and tell Dad to relax. LOL.

My adavice let her have fun with it. She is doing what most kids her age (some a little younger, some a little older) do. My son is 2 1/2 and he has had a imaginary friend named eric for a while now. some times eric has to have a plate at dinner with us and we just play along there is nothing wrong with your daughter. Let her daddy know that this is normal and just let her have fun with it. it is fun to play along too. By the way one of the comments you got is to Consult a psychologist do't do that, she is just being a a kid and doing what most kids her age do. I hope this helps... Have a good day.

A.

C. look at the photos you have taken of your daughter see if your finding any orbs in them they look like round balls of light, they range in size, from tiny ones to ones that are basketball size, also look in the photos for any light flares or add glowing spots, it could be her little invisable frined is a guide a relative who has passed on and come back to visit or you might have a ghost,its not uncommon, for this to happen in fact it happens more than people know, the photos will tell all. Any more questions you have about this feel free to ask.. not all believes in this, at first, Ha Ha they soon do

HI C.,

MY LITTLE BROTHER HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND NAMED "HOPPER" FOREVER! HE COMMUNICATED WITH "HOPPER" EVEN BEFORE HE COULD TALK. WE WOULD WATCH HIM ALONE IN HIS CRIB POKING AT THE AIR & MAKING GESTURES & NOISES LIKE SOMEONE WAS STANDING OVER HIM. WHEN HE WAS OLD ENOUGH, THE FRIEND GOT A NAME..."HOPPER". THAT BROTHER IS NOW 40 & TO THIS DAY & CAN SPIN A GREAT STORY. HE "COLORS" UP THE DETAILS QUITE A BIT SO IT IS TRUE ABOUT THEM HAVING A GREAT IMAGINATION & VERY CREATIVE! BUT YOU CAN TELL YOUR HUSBAND HE IS PERFECTLY NORMAL! TAKE CARE!
P.S. wow!!! many years between your two kids!!! how fun that must be!

Both of my kids had imaginary friends - it is a beautiful thing!! You can even use the friends to your advantage!! Once my daughter was crying because she forgot to bring her favorite bear on a car trip. I finally said "Oh, look!! I found your imaginary bear!!" and handed it to her. She was delighted and the tantrum was averted. When sitting in church, you can say "can you help imaginary Betty to stay quiet in church? She doesn't know how, so you have to show her how to be quiet." It works. Include the imaginary friend whenever asked (at the dinner table, on the extra swing, etc) but be sure that she knows that real friends take their turns first. This is such a special time in a child's life. Embrace and revel in their imagination and write down all of these stories.

Hi,
Imaginary friends, to the best of my knowledge, are a completely healthy appendage of a normal imagination. They come along for all sorts of reasons, but my son's seemed to come along when he needed a bit of an anchor in his life.

My now-nine-year-old had an imaginary friend for about a year between ages 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. His little friend was named Kid and he lived under the edge of my sons pinky fingernail. He rode on my son's shoulder, sat on his hat, hitched rides in his pockets... but he was always there, 'physically' with my son. He first appeared during a time of upheaval -- new baby sister, I blew out my knee and needed surgery, we moved to a new house across town and my son started a new pre-school. All in the same four months.

It was a lot for my little guy to take in, but Kid helped him out. My son would sit nestled in his bedroom chatting softly to Kid, who was perched on my son's pinky finger. I could always tell when something was on my son's mind, even from across the yard, because that pinky would come popping up. Kid never left my son, was always there to listen and never got upset. Kid -- and access to Kid -- represented the one part of life my son could control. He needed that.

One day, after we'd been in the new house a few weeks, I noticed something new -- I saw my son sitting on the garden steps, talking to the brick edging. Now that's odd, I thought, so I wandered over. He told me he was just checking on Kid. I reflexively looked toward his pinky, but my son corrected me. Kid had moved into the garden. He had a lovely little home in a niche formed where the brickwork was chipped and the flowers hung over. My son put his pinky down so Kid could climb on. He lifted Kid up to me and I welcomed Kid to his new, and very pretty, home. I told my son to go ahead and take as long as he liked getting Kid comfortable. He spent another few minutes, then came in.

I only 'saw' Kid a couple of times after that. By Christmas, Kid had moved on and so had my son. But it's amazing how far a little bit of imagination can take a child toward feeling secure in a changeable world. That little bit of faith -- just enough to fit under a child's fingernail -- is all it takes to heal the human soul. :-)

Hi C.,

My 4 year old Daughter Dylan has several imaginary friends two are named Haha and Tano. This started when she was two. It is sort of freaky but it gives us the opportunity help her through social/real life situations. Like one day she said they were being mean to her so I helped her tell them if they weren't going to play nice they needed to go home. She thought that was so funny. Then a few months ago she said they died. Which was even more freaky. My step brother who was with the Sherrif's Department was recently murdered by a gang member while he was arresting him. I think its her way of coping with everything. Who knows what these friends really mean the bottom line is they mean something to our kids. Rent the movie "Drop Dead Fred" its about a little girls imaginary friend who comes back when she is an adult and have a good laugh! All the best!
Smiles,
S.

Dear C.~

Worrying about an imaginary friend is absolutely NOT necessary. Children are as close to God and as innocent as they will ever be in their lives. They "see" Angels, other ancestors since passed, spirit guides, and perhaps, spirits of others you may not have known in this life. This is nothing to be afraid of by any means. You're daughter is protected and she is safe. This is not a poltergeist type of situation and she isn't possessed; nothing is going to hurt her. It is actually quite beautiful. Encourage her to keep talking to her friend :). It will help strengthen her "openess" to higher vibrations and keep her in tune more with her own instincts. They will protect her and guide her throughout her life. However, if parents tell their kids that there is no such thing, they are doing their children a TREMENDOUS disservice! She is open to God, the Universe and All That Is. We are all One and we are all connected. There are many different energy vibrations and frequencies existing with us in our daily lives. We all (throughout eternity) are existing in this now together. It is an amazing and fantastical thing to be open to it!!! I was, as a child, and I have been guided and protected throughout my life. My life was actually saved a couple of times because of my ability to "listen" to my higher self and my guardian angels. Dad and you might want to start acknowledging her friend, too, if you don't seriously already :). Try to find the child within yourselves and much more of the world will open up to you :)

Do not be concerned. Give thanks! And, there is never anything wrong with a child nourishing imagination in the terms your husband is using it...

She is truly blessed!

In Light~
J.

Hi C.,
Having imaginary friends is totally normal for this age. It shows good imagination and I think it helps kids learn how to share and care for someone else. I had them too when I was young - a girl and a boy. But I don't remember them after I was 5 or 6. My son doesn't have an imaginary friend but he has a little stuffed animal that is his "baby" and he's the daddy and they do all sorts of things together. (This freaks my husband out too...).

Tell your husband not to worry. It will pass with time.

It is perfectly normal, in fact I think that means she is real intelligent. My now 18 year old had an imaginary friend named Ceda and she would talk about her to her dad and gramma. We had to have a place for her at the dinner table. Then one day she told us Ceda died. That was a sad day, we enjoyed hearing about all the things that Ceda would do. She now is a very expressive writer, a senior in High School and in advanced classes.

This is your daughter using her imagination. Who knows where in the future this creative energy will lead her.

I ask my daughter now if she remembers Ceda and she says only what you and gramma tell me. Enjoy these days, because they go by in an instant.

L.

i have an only daughter and she had imaginary brothers for years! They even had birthdays she would enter on her calendars. She's 11 now and probably stopped talking about them when she was about 8. She know they weren't really "real", but it was real to her. She wanted a little brother so bad she invented some.

I'm a photographer, too! :-)

enjoy it while it lasts.. I wish my kids had imaginary friends :( lucky you... :)

My niece who is now 4, had an imaginary friend all of last year. It's name was something from the Lavagirl movie, and she brought it to my house and blamed things on it, and at her house, she would play little games with it. I think it kept her entertained when she was bored, and basically gave her something to focus on. She would get mad at it, or make it a spot in bed with her. She is in preschool now, and I have only heard her talk about "live" friends, so I guess that one has gone. No biggy. Let her tell you about these things, it is a start to her sharing things with her parents and them not freaking out, otherwise, she'll know Dad and M. can't be told somethings, because they get mad/upset/anxious. Good luck.

Mu daughter, now 4 1/2, had a few imaginary friends when she was 2 and 3. They slowly disappeared. I have been told it is a sign of a very smart and creative child - so no need for you to be freaked out at all.

I too have an imaginative 3 year old daughter. Her friend "Emily" has been around for a while. She loves to play with her, tell stories about her, work out her frustrations and understandings with her. If I give my daughter a "don't do this because..." situation, she turns it into a lesson for Emily. "Emily didn't listen to me and walked into the street without looking for cars. That was dangerous, huh mommy?"
I think it's a great sign of imagination and a good way to talk to her in abstracts about rules, situations etc. Have fun with it.

Tell dad to relax! He is a rookie and so does not understand that this is the FUN stuff. The scary stuff comes during the teen years. :0) I have four kids, and the youngest had an imaginary friend. The older three always had each other, but #4 came way after the others and so is essentially an only child. You can relate to that. He is 9 now and has outgrown the imaginary friend thing. He is intelligent, funny, well-adjusted and a great kid. It is the especially smart and imaginative kids who develop imaginary friends. It is a GOOD thing.

My sister and I had an imaginary friend that we shared when we were kids. She had tea parties with us. My younger sister had an imaginary friend who was a clown that messed up her room and then together, we'd help him clean it up. Finally, my two oldest children shared an imaginary friend. He was evil and all bad things were blamed on him. He became so bad that my let him die. For kids, imaginary friends are just part of pretending.

Hi, C.!
Please let your hubby know that this is nothing to be concerned about. My daughter (now 5) had 2 imaginary friends when she was between 3 and 4 1/2. "Crystal" and "Ernistina". My daughter is very imaginative anyway, and since big sister was always doing things with her schoolmates and going to school, it was her way of having relationships like her big sister had. Crystal was a spiteful girl who would now and then hurt my daughter, Emily's, feelings. Ernistina was nicer but she played the most with Crystal! :-) My daughter had sooo many details in her mind, they were kind of real to the whole family!! Once I asked Emily if Crystal would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, too... at which Emily looked me square in the face and stated, "No, mommy... Crystal is my _imaginary_ friend!" heheh So, even though she knew they were imaginary, she continued to play with them. Now that she completed Pre-K and is now in Kinder. with friends and activities of her own, we nearly never hear about them. Last I knew, Ernestina moved to California and Crystal is no longer her friend because she's mean! ehehe I would advise you to not be concerned. She'll outgrow it. However, if your daughter begins doing "naughty" or downright forbidden things and blaming them on her "friend", I would definitely delve into it deeper. Unless that happens, kick back and take notes so you can remind her of her friend later in life and you can all enjoy the memories or her imagination!

Sorry my response was sooo long! ;-)

-L. M

*note: Have you seen the movie "Drop Dead Fred" with Phoebe Cates? Hilarious movie about a childhood imaginary friend reappearing after the girl grows up...reaking havoc!

my three year old talks to "herself" all the time, whenever i catch her doing it she never wants to tell me who she is talking to, she gets embarrassed! its so cute.

but when my son was two, he would be talking to something in his room and it would freak me out a little, maybe cause he was my first. but once in a while he would say something like, "The man in the green hat wants me to play with him, but i dont want to." i found it strange that it was a man he saw instead of a child, i completely believe in ghosts though, so i just assume that was it. i know he has seen ghosts in places we have lived before. when he was a year old he used to wave and smile at people whenever they walked in the room. one day he smiled and waved at no one while he was staring in between the door and the window. he was laughing as though someone was playing with him. then a few days later my friend who always claimed to be able to see ghosts (i didnt believe her before) walked through my house to go to the bathroom then rejoined us in the back yard then came up to me and said, "hey, i dont want to freak you out or anything, but you have a ghost in your front room, right in between the door and the window. hes a young man, about 20 or so." i was like, "oh yeah i know, my son saw him the other day!" i dont think that was just a coincidence. we had many other instances. so you never know, you either believe that sort of thing or you dont.

I had an imaginary friend named Cassarole. She was not allowed in the house. When we flew to Michigan once, I kept looking out the window and my mom finally asked why and I replied that Cassarole was sitting on the wing of the plane.

My sister had an imaginary friend too. She was an older lady with twin daughters. Her husband had died a violent death. Sometimes she would dress up as her and make me be one of the twins.

Tell your hubby we were raised in a normal, stable home. And we are both mentally sound functioning adults.

Imaginary friends are just part of some kids childhoods.

C.

Tell you

A broad explanation is that she is quite intelligent.

Consult a psychologist just in case there is another explanation for her friend.

C.,

Talking about imaginary friends... How bout little children spirits?

Our son when he was 1 yrs old would lay on the floor on his back and start laughing giggling like when 2 children play and laugh together... then when he started to talk a bit he would start talking with a little kid, HE'S AN ONLY CHILD!!! and he would lay on the floor on his back and start grabbing at the sky/air like if someone was playing with him...

Now he sleep walks around the house and goes to grab snacks from the frig like a gogurt or an apple and goes to laydown holding the goody in his hand or holds it near his chest... weird but it happens.

And no he's not hungry, he's a very good eater and eats more than sufficient, specially when I make his favorite, spaGhetti.

My 8 year old and her best friend come up with new "imaginary friends" every day. My daughter's friend even came up with a whole imaginary FAMILY! At this age they are just messing around but reading about your daughter's friend made me smile :)

Have a good one!

~V

My son had a "40 Grandpa", that started when he was about 1 and a half. The way he explained it:

he was 1
I was 2
Nana was 3
nana's mommy was 4
nana's mommy mommy was 5

40-Grandpa was 40. He had died a long time ago (in a space station), but liked to talk to my son when he was going to sleep or when he was lonely and make him laugh. He also fluctuated in age...sometimes appearing to my son as an old man, a young man, or a boy about my son's age.

Yikes. Okay...we have an imaginary friend now who is not only a "ghost", but also a long dead member of the family.

:) Well, I've always been taught to be courteous to my elders...so that's what we did. He was a good influence on my son (he frequently told our son to apologize for something, or not to do something..."my 40-grandpa said it might not be a good idea to slide down the laundry chute, Mommy. But *I* think it would be fun. He said I should ask you before I did...but I told him that my mommy lets me do fun stuff all the time, so we didn't need to ask. He insisted. So can you tell him he's wrong???"

My son's 40-grandpa has apparently found another toddler that needs a friend, because he only pops up from time to time now (my son is 6). Typically at holidays, or when my son is feeling especially bad.

SingSank is another friend of my son's that started coming around when my son was about 3. He was little and needed my son's guidance...and help on the playground.

I not only think that "imaginary" or "invisible" friends are harmless...they're beneficial in many many ways if you're daughter is lucky enough to have one.

Have Fun!!!

Oh, yeah, my 4 year old has an invisible girl. She showed up around the time he found out he was going to be a brother. They hung out, then he pretended that they were getting married. Then he told us how she had to stay home and rest because she was having a baby. I then had his brother, but as far as I know, she never gave birth ;) But she still comes up once in awhile.

I had an imaginary frined, Susan, for several years growing up. My family even set a place for her at the table (no food). She was around for a long time, rest assured now she is just a memory - tell your husband to just let her enjoy her friend!

Very normal and can be fun. Lot of kids have these friends.
My kids once had an imaginary dog. We often crossed the Atlantic with him. We would leave him, but he always swam back.
Don't worry.
B. v.

This is very common to kids especially if they likes to watch a lot of TV shows and reads fairy tale or fantasy book. Keep on listening to what they are saying and keep talking to your kids. You may derived their attention into other topics, engaged her on any plays or sports. It will go away in time.

they talk about imaginary friends in What to Expect the Toddler Years and that it's very common at this age..you might want to check out the book?

Hi C.,
This is very normal. It's just role playing. My almost 5 year old has had an imaginary friend for two years. My daughter used to call her "Imaginary" and now renamed her "Sophie" which is my daughter's name. She says it's her sister. This started after our second daughter was born. I haven't read about it myself, but I'm sure there are books out there about this stage in life for kids. Many of my girlfriend's kids had/have imaginary friends at one point or another. Your daughter is creative, that's all. I think you should just play along with her and make it fun. Maybe even talk about pretending things. My daughter is aware that "Imaginary" is literally that, but she's two years older now. She will buckle her in the car and we let her take the extra minute to do it because she's learning how to use the seat belt and care for others, etc. and if that extra minute makes her feel accomplished and keeps her entertained, it's worth it and it's sweet to watch her play. All of her sentences start with "Mom, pretend this or that (your a hairdresser and I'm the customer, etc.) I don't think you should discourage it. Let her be a kid and enjoy the simple life with "her friend". Hope that helps :)

Congrats, C.!

Imaginary friends are a sign of a creative personality! Good for your daughter.

Our four year-old son's friend is named Buddy. It's a riot when Buddy gets him in trouble and gets sent to time-out. (Thankfully, Buddy has only done imaginary things wrong--we've never had our son blame Buddy for things that he actually does). Other than that, Buddy keeps him company when he plays by himself and wants to chat to someone other than mom or dad.

:-) D.

C.:)
How fun for your child! Lots of children have imaginary friends! My husband had one, and we named one of our sons after him! Imaginary friends indicate a higher level of intelligence and imagination! She will grow out of it, when she is ready. A good book to share with your daughter is "Jessica" by Kevin Henkes. It discusses imaginary friends. Share it with your daughters, and your husband. It's a great bedtime book.

Don't worry about her friend. She'll be there until she is ready for her to leave. She is no danger to your daughter.

Best of luck, and enjoy the friend and your beautiful girls.

A.
http://www.WomensDreamTeam.com/Angel