I Confess- I'm Disorganized. Help Me!

We had a dry erase wall calendar at one of my previous jobs - it shows the whole year at one time, and is reusable from one year to the next because you write the dates in.
That worked really well and I'm considering getting one for home.

1. Get rid of all the stuff that isn't necessary.

2. File the stuff that is necessary properly.

3. Use the Google calendar on your smartphone with reminders that actually ring/buzz and ring/buzz again. Quit writing and actually take the extra 5 seconds to put in into your device. If you use a shared email address along with your husband, you can both put things into your google calendar and see them.

4. Never wait to enter things into your calendar. Do it now. Kids bring you a school flyer. Enter it. Husband says "we have a meeting." Enter it. Not only will it get you used to using your devices, you will show your family that you've prioritized them.

5. Wake up early and actually do things that need doing. Go to bed early and get enough sleep. Wherever you need to be, add another 30 minutes into your planning/getting ready time so that you can take your time and work out what needs to be organized and prepared for the day. When you're running late, you can't be organized. Stop running late.

6. Be intentional. Make being on time, in the right uniform, with the right equipment, part of WHO you are, not just what you are doing. Ask your family for support.

ETA: I apologize for not clarifying, H..

I'm a piler too. But once a week it's on my calendar to sit in my office and go through the pile. Every item is a decision: Throw it away, action it (pay a bill, for example), file it, or shred it. It is at that time that I do any bill paying or budgeting that needs doing. Be careful with your piling, though, that you don't put things in the pile that will need action before your filing day.

My calendar is on my homepage. Not sure what kind of phone you have, but on mine I can add all kinds of apps and widgets to my homepage (android device). I can see the whole month right there, or can set it for the week or day.

I have ADHD, so I lean very heavily on my calendar. I used to lean heavily on post-it notes and my paper calendar, but I found that I would leave them places or lose my notes. It simply wasn't working. So I buckled down and made it a habit to use my device. It was hard at first, but after awhile it's a habit, and I'm proud of the discipline I've shown in using it. It's also VERY compatible with your email and even search engine. Did you know you can remind yourself of things while you're searching on Google? You can tell it to set a reminder, and it will add it to your calendar. You can also link an email to a date on your calendar, so if you need that information it's right there on that day.

Bottom line, you have to intentionally work to make it a habit. And, I know it sounds harsh, but I say this with love: If you say you can't, you're only making excuses...and you need to stop with the excuses. ♥ You can do it.

ETA2: Oh, oh, oh! :) If you can't put your calendar on your home page, you can SET A REMINDER for every day to check your calendar. Perfect to do while enjoying your morning coffee.

ETA3: I'm sorry, I have to disagree with those who say that electronic calendars are too much work. If you have Siri or Galaxy you can TELL it to add things to the dang thing. Press the button twice, tell it to add whatever to the calendar. Ding! "Would you like to add this to your calendar?" You: "Yes." Done. It's only too much work if you're unwilling to learn how the calendar works and get used to doing it. Or lazy. Sorry, but seriously...I can drag and drop emails and make them into events on my calendar. This thing was MADE for busy or lazy people.

You know, I'm pretty much electronic everything, except my calendar. Being a visual person who likes to make notes and lists for certain weeks and days, an iphone screen just doesn't cut it. I have a nice leather bound calendar book that I keep in my bag at all times, and if I receive an important document or piece of mail I tuck it in there and then I DEAL with it, then file it or toss it, whatever needs to be done.
But, YES, I do need to actually remember to look at my calendar book.
Just like I need to remember to brush my teeth, get my oil changed, take my kids to their appointments and pay my bills (some of them are still not automated, I have to actually be a responsible adult.)
I don't think you are "artistic" at all, as many of the artsy types I know are by far the most visually and spatially organized people I know, especially the writers and visual artists.
I think maybe you count on your husband perhaps too much to take care of things? And you've forgotten how to be a grown up?
I'm not saying this as a dig, it's actually very common, and some people refer to it as "mommy" brain.
Hopefully you can remember what it's like to be "in charge" and start living that way again, like you did before children and you didn't need to have people reminding you where to be and what to do all the time.
As a forty year old mother of three that just sounds super depressing :-(

I was you except one more kid. And my kids were spread over 13 years so things were hectic. At one point I had daughter in high school cheerleading, 2 sons each in both baseball and soccer different levels different teams. And Preschooler. I worked and did church things hubby worked and church things. The only way we kept up was by buying a big desk blotter calendar. It was about 30 inches wide by 20 inches tall. We hung it on the fridge. The squares to write in were big and had lines. We used heavy marker for this so they could be read from across the room. Any changes had to be discussed. So kids were not allowed to pencil things in randomly and hubs couldn't say "but I told you" lol.

I am a very organized person, so says everyone I meet. Totally type A, but while I like technology, I prefer good old fashion paper and pen. I need to physically write things down to put them in my brain!!!!

I have a pad in the kitchen, and one by my desk. I then transfer the items to where there need to be. I have my outlook calendar for our schedule. I do not link it to my phone.

I sit down on Sunday and go over our schedule for the week and the next week, so I know what's coming up. I then write out whatever todos are needed for our calendar -buy bday present, etc. Then I write down on paper a rough schedule for the week, with my housework and meals. This is in my kitchen and when new stuff comes up, it goes there. Then transfer dates and things to the calendar the next morning. I do try to spend 30 minutes every morning on organizational stuff and financial planning.

I also fly lady, so I have another set of todos that I keep track of in my Cosi app. This has meals I've put in the freezer, house repairs, etc. Before my in-laws came for three weeks, I had my to dos listed there and a menu planning list. I also have a menu planning app I use to store recipes and do weekly meal planning.

For me, using a bunch of different things for different needs works great. I think different things work for different people.

I think Christy lee is spot on: you need to be intentional. That's the actual secret to being organize.

1. You must use one calendar for everything. Choose one. Paper or electronic. Not both. It's too much to keep up with.

2. Since you are a very busy family with 3 kids, which means you'll be out and about and on the go at all times of the day and night for many years to come, choose a calendar that fits in your hand bag or diaper bag. Wall calendars at home are not a great way to track life while your not at home. You can jot things down on them while you're on the phone, or cooking and need to remember something later, but don't use it regularly.

3. I peruse my calendar daily, every morning and I syn calendars, meaning school events, Dr. appts. husband's commitments, etc every Sunday. I carve out time to prep for the week ahead.

4. My calendar goes with me everywhere. It has to become habit for you to take it with you, pull it out, reference it and have it for making appointments. My favorite is to have Month At A Glance format, so I can see the whole month ahead of me when I'm scheduling, because I have to have downtime in my day and weekend to recharge.

5. Since I do keep up to date on a regular basis, it takes less than 10 minutes in the morning to review and make notes, and it takes about 30 minutes on the weekend to review everyone's whereabouts. But please know, like you, I did everything in my head for years and I used to rely on this free calendar I got from the bank every year, but we kept moving and I missed that bank calendar....even the dollar store has nice options. Just make sure you can write in them...It takes practice to instill new organizational habits, but it's well worth it to invest a bit of time into managing everyone's time. I even write down menu ideas for the week and when I have time to cook them. Otherwise, it's not happening.

I hate electronic calendars. They are too much work. You have to select things (date, start time, end time), if you have recurring appointments you either have to have them every week without fail or retype the info for each date. Many of my meetings are once a month, and I don't want to type them for every month.

I actually appreciate many things that are electronic, but calendars is definitely not one of them. I prefer my paper calendar, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Your system doesn't have to be pretty, and it doesn't have to be electronic. It just has to work for you. It took me a few tries to decide which calendar type worked for me. Each time I changed jobs, became a SAHM, started working part-time and started working full-time I had to figure it out again. I have been using the same calendar for 3 years, and I love it (Barns and Noble better never stop making it!!!)

You have to figure out what works for you, not what works for anyone else, and it's ok if it's not something that syncs to your phone.

I am more Type A and I am only responding to the question in your SWH.

Yes, I use my calendar on my IPhone and it is synced with my calendar on my laptop. There are alerts that are good reminders.

When I hear of something that should be on my calendar, I stop and enter it right then.

Hubby and I work together running our company. I send him appointments through my calendar that he just links to his phone and laptop... meetings, flights, hotels, cars, etc.

I have not used a pen and paper for a calendar in years or had one hanging in my house.

I do have a notebook that I use daily to jot down any important info such as ... date, time and rep I spoke with at a certain company, notes for all hotels, airfare and cars, pricing and quotes from vendors, etc. and just anything I do and anyone I speak with to have my file (notebook) so I can always go back and see what I did, when, who I spoke with, why and the outcome of the conversation. I LOVE having my notebook for a one stop documentation spot and I love using my IPhone for calendar.

I am never late for appointments. If I were to be late, the people who know me would be calling the police because something would be wrong.

Don't beat yourself up over this. It takes time to incorporate change and do it little steps at a time. Trying to change everything at once would be overwhelming and probably set you back further. Enlist the help of your family. You can do it!!

hm. in a lot of ways we're very similar. i'm a messy thinker, and disorganized, and find going to staples and buying fun organizational items a huge hoot but never really use them effectively. i've also missed important events, showed up on the wrong day, and on one memorable occasion walked into my classroom full of teenagers only to find that i'd left my notes at home.
fortunately it was a greek mythology class and i was able to wing it. but now i check and recheck obsessively. sometimes i have to pull the car over and check one more time.
yes, i have issues.
i'm very hesitant to suggest medication, but in the interest of full disclosure i'll share with you that when i was taking prozac (fen-pro, actually, i was taking it for weight loss but it had a slew of exciting positive side effects) i found myself suddenly dealing with my life and work and kids and...well, life.... SO much more efficiently. on many levels i kept thinking 'so THIS is how normal people's lives look! i like it!'
i took the meds for under a year, and the chaos slowly slid back. mostly. but i never really forgot how awesome it felt to be somewhat on top, and periodically i climb back on top of my piles of chaos and reorganize them again, just to have that awesome feeling of being an adult<G>.
i dunno. i don't have any real answers for you. i think my situation, and my very half-assed 'solution', was very situational and lucky.
the only real thing i can think of for you is to buy a big pretty calendar, nail the bastard to the wall (no pins!) and have that be your primary go-to. i'd be seriously lost without my cool calendars.
khairete
S.

First off, are your kids getting fed? Is your husband happy (for the most part)? Have you burned down the house recently? If the answers are yes, yes, and no, you are doing ok! Stress causes forgetfulness, and the more you stress about forgetting, the more you are going to forget.

I am totally Type A. On our last trip (me, hubby, and 2 of our 6 kids), I made color coded itineraries. Sad, I know. I just can't help it. Just like you are Type B, you can't "help" it either. Your husband, kids, family and friends love you just the way you are (and you probably drive them as crazy forgetting as I do my family by being over organized).

I will only offer one piece of advice since I think it would go against your personality grain to change all your ways :) I have a smart phone (you said you do as well). Each appointment I load in to the calendar with an alarm - some are recurring (like trash and recycling) and others are not (like dr appts, school meetings). So I enter in the appointment as soon as I know about it and then decide "if I totally forget this is going to happen, how much time would I need to get ready for it?" and set the alarm to go off that much in advance. So for a dr. appt. in town, I set the alarm to go off 1 hr before. The trash alarm is only 5 min before. Football games for kids - depending on where the game is and how far I have to drive. That way not only I am being forced to remember the appointment (because my alarm doesn't shut up until I turn it off), I have also given myself enough time to get ready and get to my destination.

I hope you find something that works for you (even if my suggestion doesn't).

Good luck!

Electronic calendars don't work for me. My brain does not work like that.

I have real calendar in my kitchen.
If it's not on there? It's not happening.
I've learned to use it as a tool and I remember to write on IT all appts, trips, sports, events, etc.
It's a lifeline!
My husband knows -- if you want it to happen? Put it on there.
He even writes his work trips on it now--double bonus!

Check out flylady--great daily habits that become second nature Betty easily.

I have a large desk sized blotter calendar on the wall in my kitchen. I write everything on it...days I work, kids practice schedules, doctor appointments, etc.

I have to see it there in large writing. Then I will set an alarm on my phone to give me a 30 minute heads up later in the day about things I might forget about due to just crazy daily living.

I also carry a smaller paper calendar in my purse. While I am out if something comes up I add it to that one then transfer it to the kitchen one when I get home.

I tried to use the one on my phone...ugh!! didn't work out well for me!!

I am not, by nature organized either. I keep a dollar store calendar/ planner that shows a month at the turn of each page with plenty of room to jot down appointments. This goes with me everywhere, just like my purse, when something comes up, I write it in that minute. Another thing I do often now is I have an ongoing list of what I need to get done, once I write it down, I can move on.
I am up 45 minutes before anyone else so I can have my alone/prayer time with my coffee. It also gives me enough time to get showered and dressed before the kids wake.
I also have 5 things I do every evening before bed, that starts my day out better knowing those things were done the night before.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. Make it easy for you. Whatever you pick, just make sure it works for you!

I feel your pain.
I, too, like the feel of a paper book that sits out. Also, try as I may I have lost
a lot of my organizational skills. I blame age & having kids as they can tend
to pull your attention away in many different directions.

Having said that, this is what helps me (keep in mind we're all different. Do
what works best for you, try different things/ways & keep is simple!):
-I use my phone for reminders so they "beep & come up daily". However, I
still need a big visual in advance...so I use a big desk calendar. That's it.
See....keep it simple. Phone & big desk calendar.
-I did buy a black monthly calendar book at the Dollar Store to keep in the car
Just helps me w/visual while on the go.
-Also, when I have a sporting practice, I put it in my phone w/time & where
it's at. For example, Schneider Field.
-I make lists but try to keep them for daily purposes then throw them away at
the end of the day so I'm not the "girl w/a 1,000 lists).
-I make all of my lists/plans when I can sit down quietly w/o distractions. This
is usually at the end of the night or in the morning before everyone wakes
up including the dogs. So I can concentrate in peace. ;)
-I need my computer to look at things in my email daily (kids' practices, changes to those, meet ups w/friends, messages from the teacher, reminders
from the teacher for in-class volunteer days etc.
-I try to keep things the same: only volunteer every day in the classroom on
Fridays or whatever day is best for me. I do this each year.
-I try to use my crockpot to get dinner going in the morning so I'm not
scrambling in the afternoon after practice (having said that...I forgot to start
mine this morning. Dang it. At least, I thawed the meat & will do it right now.
See?) ;)
-So again, I only use 2 real forms of reminders (calendar & phone).

-I use clear storage bins for everything. Three sizes (shoebox size, a bit
bigger then huge ones for storing things like hand me downs in the next
size up. I put a huge sign (not sticker) on the bin so I can see at a glance
far away in the garage or attic what's in there.

I try to make a routine the same each day or at least each morning:
-drop kids off, walk the dog, walk for me, shower, then run errands
Every day. Variances come later. If they come in the morning, do they
throw me off? Yes, but I get back on track later in the day or the very
next morning.

-I do not "overdo" my organization as my personality cannot keep up w/that.
I have friends & relatives that are uber organized but I just can't match it so
I tailor it to fit my personality. I am what you would call "half way organized".
Better than nothing is my motto.

-I keep each holiday decorations in a marked clear bin.

-I often go through old clothes & donate or hand down.

-I am constantly trying to go through my house to de-clutter or throw things
away, donate etc.

-I do try and keep things on hand that help ME keep orgnaized: sticky notes,
notepads, labels (big ones), black markers & clear bins of all sizes.

The key for you (like me) is to keep things out in the open. If I have to take
something new w/me in the car somewhere, I put it by my keys so I'm sure
to remember to grab it.

I, also, keep things in the car like a sm plastic bin for first aid, a crate in the trunk w/non-perishable bars & snacks for on the go esp w/sports, water
bottles etc.

These are great suggestions. The only things I would add that I do are: instead of trying to get up earlier to get things done, do what you can at night before you go to bed. Even look at your calendar for the next day. Get kids clothes ready, make lunches (or at least put snacks together if you wait to make sandwiches). This helps eliminate some of the chaos in the morning so you don't get frazzled and forget things. I also keep a note pad with me that I jot everything into, from people to call to appointments to my to dos and reminders for me and everyone else. Then I check them off as I add them to my calendar or do them. I'm definitely not a list maker, but this helps me not to forget anything crucial. (And gives me somewhere consistent to look if I know there's an upcoming appointment that I forgot to put on my calendar.)

I'm not good at it either - add first trimester pregnancy to the mix and it's hopeless!! (my loved ones THOUGHT I was a flake, before I got pregnant- HA!)

The only way I survive (and I barely do sometimes) is, I have my iphone calendar, and a huge wall calendar right at my elbow, at my desk at work. I literally have to constantly synch them- sit down with a pen in one hand and my phone in the other - and make sure they match. I'm one that has to write things to remember them too, so that helps. It isn't foolproof but I survive....kinda lol.

The problem is (I saw someone recommended picking ONE calendar, electronic or paper), that I don't always have my paper calendar with me- but I remember things much better when writing them down. And a small purse calendar doesn't help because I'm too lazy to find it and find a pen every time. I do ok with just tapping it into my phone though. Since that is with me 24/7 it is most reliable.

Two resources that work for people like you (and me!):

Flylady.net

The book Getting Things Done

You sound like a visual person for whom out of sight = out of mind. I get that, I'm the same way too. It used to be that once I filed something, it might as well have been gone forever. Even e-mail - my inbox overflows because once I move something to a folder, I forget about it. In reality my inbox is so big that once something moves off the first page, I forget it too. Or I used to, I'm getting better.

The electronic thing isn't working for you, so stop fighting it and commit to paper. Get yourself a great big wall calendar (the Flylady one is the best I've found and I can't live without it), and a small notebook that you can tuck into your purse and always have on you. No more scraps of paper. Every morning, check that wall calendar. And every evening, move your items from your notebook to the wall calendar. This way, you are either entering items directly onto your wall calendar because it's in reach or if you're out, you're making notes in your notebook. If you happen to make a dentist appointment while you're at the dentist and you get home and realize you have a conflict, easy peasy just call the office right then and re-schedule while you are in front of your calendar. You don't really need to continue this silly, exhausting and demoralizing charade of having your entire life at your fingertips (on your phone) at all times. It's not a failure to admit that a nice big calendar where you can see everything at once works better for you than trying to manage your life on the screen of a smartphone. The idea of e-scheduling is nice but it's not working for you so do what actually does work for you and put your energy towards making that work more smoothly for you. Stop the entering and printing and entering and printing and updating nonsense...just write it down in one place and that's it!

You might try to stick to the same routines each morning, noon, night. I am an artist as well and I have changed and become more organized by being aware of my inability to plan ahead and judge time accurately. I would much rather play the day away and create and love and laugh! Who wouldn't, I guess. So, for me, I forced myself to write down a routine for morning, noon and night. I do my very best to stick to it. It's fairly detailed, and some days I can't get to everything on it, but I try. I also work, and have found that life is SOOOO much easier when I have a few days off and can just be a mom. As a working mom, I really have to try to stay on track, since 6-8 hours of my day are taking up with work. The rest of the day is left for household stuff and kids. I couldn't believe how clean and organized my house was recently when I had three days off in a row. Easy peasy to keep it up when you have the time! So, if you work or have little ones, just be kind to yourself and try to stick to routines. There's only so much you can do in a day.

As for calendars, I used to write it all down on a large wall calendar, but decided to switch over to my phone/computer calendar that synchs with my husbands. That way we can coordinate our lives. One of my routine items is to check my calendar each day to see what is coming up. Then I try to sit down each week on Sunday's and plan for the whole week. I make a grocery list based on what we are doing that week, any events to plan or shop for, special outfits the kids might need for activities, or whatever.

Another rule I'm working on is to make myself plan for the next day at least 1-2 days before. So, if we have a party to attend, or an event at the house, I try to get everything shopped for and set up at least one day earlier. I hate feeling like I have to do everything at the last minute.

I keep a to-do list notebook pad out and jot down anything I need to do. I also put a daily post-it note on top of the list of 2-3 things I want to try to get done that day for sure. These are above and beyond the daily chores, so things like clean the coffee maker, run cans and bottles down to return, Goodwill drop-off, fill out forms for kids, etc. That keeps me focused on getting at least a few extra things done beyond daily stuff and work.

Oh and one other thing. I noticed that life was significantly more challenging as far as organization, when my children started grade school. So much more to keep track of since I had to keep track of my schedule, my work schedule, the school schedule and any activities my kids were doing. Anyway, I completely understand how you feel! There is hope and you can do it! I am so much more organized now than I ever have been.

I use my husband as a spare brain. If I say it out loud to him, it's more likely that one of us will remember. I bet you are not just disorganized, but functionally exhausted. What can he help you with? Can you let go of doing it all and let him be in charge of, say, the kids' doctor appointments? Do you use Google's calendar to send you messages? Mine will send me an email an hour before the activity or appointment. If you forget things like papers to be signed, make it a habit for the kids to go through their bags after dinner and present you with their field trip forms, etc. Make it a family thing, and make them responsible for this, too. You are not the only one who can rummage in a backpack, make a lunch, or find a pair of socks.

If you are not a visual person, then maybe ask him to call you or say it out loud to yourself.

I tend to use my phone and my email as reminders. I've also thought "Hrm, I bet that appointment is coming up" and called the receptionist to get the date and time. Many offices are going to automatic reminders, so ask if that's possible and if so, how do you get on as many as you can? I have the dentist set up for texts as well as their online account, as well as the autodialer reminders 3 days ahead of the appointment. You can also always try to get appointments on the same day of the month or same day of the week, so that triggers you to think, "Wait...what's coming up on the 8th..." I would go week by week vs printing things out months in advance. We keep a calendar in the kitchen we all add to.I can look up right now and see that the cat litter is overdue to be sifted or that school starts on Monday.

Our 7 yr old is responsible for her HW, giving us any papers for the day, and adding lunch items to the grocery list. If your children are about that age, they can help you out.

I have my google calendar linked to an app on my phone. I have it set to give me an alarm reminder for something an hour before, and 30m before. It has really helped me to not forget things anymore. I also have google calendar set up to send me email reminders for certain things. Anyway, getting the app was easy and it was free...it didn't take much time to learn. You should just sit down and do it...right now. Really. Try it out. I don't look at my google calendar on my phone either, but it sends me the reminders so I cannot forget. Another thing I do is I talk into my phone...all the time...I say, Set me an alarm at 3:30 to remember to pick up my daughter. Then the phone does it for me and gives me an alarm. Before I got the app I used the phone alarms all the time. It's super easy. I actually still use it sometimes.