Husband's Reaction/sleeping Issue

The best way to break your son of this habit seems drastic, but even Super Nanny agrees. Every time you go in to your son, you are giving him positive reinforcement that crying gets attention. The only way to not give him that attention and therefore break this habit is to ignore the crying and allow him to settle back to sleep on his own. I know this can be very hard on a mother, but in the long run, you'll have success. It will take a few nights, but before a week is up, I think he'll be doing much better. Don't be surprised if for the first couple of nights his crying seems worse or lasts longer. He will be testing you to see what will bring you to his side. Don't give in.

As for your husband, his tiredness probably has a lot to do with sleep deprivation. Many people can't function well at all without sleep and become very irritable when sleep deprived. I suggest ear plugs for your husband until your son sleeps through the night, that way he'll hopefully sleep uninterrupted as your son learns to sleep through as well.

Parenting is work and it lasts 18 years at least. But I also know how it is to be under stress. You husband has to realize that you are stressed too and comments like this do not help the situation. If he can't handle a baby that wakes in the night, how is he going to live through some real problems that may arise?

What time does your son wake up? Have you tried ignoring him to see if you would go back to sleep? Is he wet and just need changed and put back down?
At this age an hour nap in the daytime and bedtime around 8:30-9:00 is about right, if he is up at 7:00AM or earlier.

Try giving him some books, toys in his bed and a night light so he can play when he is awake.

I think you are already doing the best you can for your son, by trying to identify why he's waking. If it does seem like he's in pain from cutting teeth, perhaps you should call his doctor's office regarding some over the counter pain medicine until he cuts his molars. If he is just waking up because he's bored, then I do think you may need to consider letting him cry a bit (as much as you can tolerate). As long as you know 100% that he doesn't need a diaper change, he's well-fed, and not in pain, then crying it out a bit does not hurt a 16 month old. I would suggest going in and checking on him every so often, though, or you will worry! Make sure his crib is safe and that he doesn't have anything that could assist him in climbing out too. As for your husband, I think it sounds like he is overly-frustrated and that he needs to realize that parenting often equals sleep deprivation. He also needs to realize that those comments not only hurt you, but could hurt your son, as he gets older and can understand what his dad is saying. He may just be saying the first thing that comes to his mind, and not thinking (I am not sure if he is typically sensitive or not) but I hope you can indicate to him that you feel that those extreme comments are harmful. Also, please be watchful of his interactions with your son to make sure that he is providing the best possible care to him, regardless of how your son is sleeping. People shake babies out of frustration, without realizing how much damage they are causing, and your husband could be at risk for such behavior if he cannot tolerate crying/sleep deprivation well. I hope I don't sound like an alarmist, but I just want your family to be at its healthiest!

My husband would say he wasn't frustrated but his actions told me that he was so I wish he would have told me that he was just as frustrated with our sleeping issue as I was at the time. My son went through the same issue. After going through a month of my son doing this I was so done with it. It started when he was sick so of course I got up with him then it continued on. So one night I went in and told him in a stern voice (I know he was only 2 at the time) that he was not getting up he had to go back to sleep we were not going downstairs it was time to sleep and I could not believe it but it worked. It took a couple of nights but we did it. Best of luck! :)

R.:
Moms are infinitely more patient than dads in most cases. I am sure you will get responses from women who will gush about how wonderful their husbands are and they would never say such a hurtful thing about their family blah blah blah. Reality is parenthood is stressful. Your husband may be feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a parent. Now he has someone to provide for and I am guessing that up until 16 mos ago you worked full time too. So now all the $$ burden is on him. Is it right that he feels that way? maybe. But that's what being a parent is all about. We sweat it everyday- Money, school, faith, are we doing it right? Maybe he is depressed- being a parent isn't the same blissful experience for everyone. I love being a mommy, I adore my children. There are times when I dream about sleeping in or reading a book, but I still wouldn't have it any other way. But men are different. My Hubby is great with the kids as long as they are happy. When one gets cranky or the baby can't be settled, he gets frustrated and hands her off to me. His capacity for patience is no where near as great. Does that make him a "bad" daddy? No, I just gently remind him that the child is 4 or whatever and they are having a difficult time communicating their needs. And that the kids sense when we are stressed which makes the situation worse. I think it's a some guys thing. It will likely improve as your child gets older and reasonable. I know I rambled quite a bit but I hope this helps in some way. Keep your chin up.

Does he cry when he wakes up? If he's not crying, let him go. My dd will do that on occasion. She has two stuffed animals in her crib and she'll play with them till she goes back to sleep. I don't have to get up with her and it makes us all happier in the morning. If you think it's his teeth botherhing him, give him a small dose of baby motrin before bed.

As for your husband, he's probably just tired. If he's anything like my husband, he needs his sleep. If he's sleep deprived, he's an absolute grouch! I'm sure he didn't mean that he doesn't want to be a parent anymore. Did you ask him? Tell him that it hurts when he says things like that and you would appreciate it if he'd keep the negativity to himself.

Nap time can be difficult as children get older. As for nighttime waking I don't always sleep through the night either.
Is there a nightlight in his room? Does he have toys of some sort to occupy him when he is awake? Once you have gone in and checked on him to let him know he is not alone you could try leaving the room and going back to bed. I don't know if he cries about being alone in his room or not, you didn't mention it.
As for your husband, the comments he is making I certainly hope are from frustration. Maybe he had planned to do something during naptime and the child not sleeping the way he used to has upset the apple cart, as it were.
I can't speak for other men, all I can say is my husband always shared the responsibilities involved with child rearing and never complained anymore than I did about it. Like when a child cried endlessly etc.
I will pray for you all and hope things resolve themselves.