Desperate to Get 7 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night!

my daughter was the same way. I found that giving her a doll with lavender in it worked wonders. We both finally got some sleep and she had a new buddy to cuddle with . It was amazing the difference Lavender made.

Maybe it is time to try putting her in her own bed in her own room. Maybe the co-sleeping is not working for her. Every child is different. My experience was that once the babies were in their own bed and space, they tended to sleep better. It might not be what you prefer to do but maybe worth a try since you are both exhausted and have tried everything else. With my first baby, we tried the warm water in a bottle at night, which made her really mad. In 2 days, she was sleeping through the night. She decided it wasn't worth waking up to receive a bottle of water. Good luck and best wishes.

I am a SAHM of 4, ages 14, 10, 7 and 4.

Hi J.,
Have you gotten a ton of responses on this? If not, I'd love to stay in touch and try to help you through this as I went through it with both my five year old and two year old, thinking (like you) that it would never end :=(...

Email me back if you're still in need.

dida in mtn. view

So the book that was my life-saver: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It does not boast the cry it out method but sleep training.

The other thing that worked for me was slow weaning. I nursed my daughter until she was 12 months old and her favorite was to wake up and nurse. The way I "weaned" her of waking up was a very slow process of decreasing the nursing time. Example: If she nurses for 10 minutes, first night cut down to 9 minutes then, 8 and so on...down to 2 minutes, then do a minute+30 seconds, then 60 seconds, the next night 45, and so on...even 15 seconds...and the final night--none, but IF she gets up, hold her. But only on the zero night...after that don't respond. She may wake for a few seconds, but won't need to nurse, so there shouldn't be a major fit. It worked well for my daughter. We went from nursing every 2 hours to 4 hours and then only once a night and finally none.

Good luck!

Hi J.. I am sorry to hear of this situation you've been going through for a while. For me, as a sensitive introverted person who uses sleep to recover from stressful days, the hardest part of parenting in the early years was nighttime parenting. I breastfed too, and cosleep, and yes, babies do need us in the middle of the night, which works less well in our current cultural climate when mom has a stressful daily schedule and we are so isolated from community, empathy, and help.

I want to offer words of support. What I'm understanding from your post is that you're really struggling for a "solution." And several methods have been disappointing. So that's frustrating and you're naturally feeling at the end of your rope. Of course it's daunting to follow a program that isn't working.

Do you think it would help you to take a step back from the search for a solution...if that letting go in itself might give you a break, and allow you to tune into your baby more, from which position insights (or at least contentment) might arise? The problem with the books is that those authors don't know your baby and of course all babies and parents are different. If yours is sensitive like you, she may be waking in reaction to the Cry It Out trauma of recent days, or to something in your diet, or teething pain may affect her more intensely...who knows? We can't know. So I'd suggest going with your gut feeling about what's going on for her and what would make it easier for you to get through the days/nights. On a practical level, that might mean sleeping apart from your husband, breastfeeding a million times a day, napping with her, Motrin, lots of your favorite foods for you, whatever works. Take care of you as best you can.

I read somewhere that babies' sleep cycles are about 1.5 hours, so she probably is getting that REM sleep that you're not. I don't know if that makes you feel better!

Some good advice that I made up for myself after a few years of this parenting thing is "ignore all advice." That includes books, grandparents, and of course what I'm writing here ;). Individuals are so different, no one else is walking in your shoes. It's hard, but liberating, to take control of your own life and do just as you see fit despite others' methods or disapproval. I hope things get easier for you right soon.

Cheers,
J.

I also breastfed and had kids who wanted to wake up every 2 hours or so to nurse. (I am convinced that breastfed kids just want to nurse and be close to you all night long rather than sleep). But I agree that you are suffering, your marriage is suffering and that at some point, your baby has to get a solid night's sleep in their own place.

We kept our 2nd baby in a bassinet next to our bed until 4 mos and after that we put her in a crib in her own room. Our son was in our bedroom until 18 months because we had a one BR apartment in NY. We tried CIO with my son and it worked after a few nights but then didn't "stick" and we'd have to do it all over again whenever he was about to learn a new skill like standing up, crawling, or walking. Those new skills seemed to disrupt his sleep a lot. It was really really stressful and hard and I feel your pain.

However, crying it out didn't work with our daughter and she's so tiny and fragile that we hated letting her cry (my son was 10 lbs at birth and seemed so big and strong we were somehow able to let him cry more). My husband invented his own "modified cry it out" method for our little girl that really worked. We had her in her crib and once we had given up nighttime nursings (probably around 7 or 8 mos) he would go into her room when she'd cry if it lasted more than 5 minutes. He would lie down on the futon in there (about 5 feet away from her crib) and just do the very loud "SHHHHUSSHH"ing that is recommended for soothing babies. He didn't pick her up or go look at her. He just lay there in the dark "shhhhush"ing for a little bit and she'd go back to sleep. Maybe knowing someone was there and hearing that soothing sound helped but I kind of figured that it wasn't really worth waking up for the way snuggling next to Mom and the breast is? This happened a few times a night for a couple of nights and then she learned to stop waking up at night. I couldn't be the one to go in there or else I would just stick her on my breast in order to get some sleep, which really never got us anywhere. It might buy me an hour of sleep but no long-term gains for any of us. So now here we are at 19 months and she takes a 2-3 hour nap every afternoon and sleeps all night from around 7:30 to around 6:30. My advice is keep trying because it is vital to sleep and sleep well.

Last thing -- even though I am big into breastfeeding and natural, healthy childrearing, I would not hesitate to try a little formula at night before sleep or a little rice cereal. If you're as tired as I know you are, your milk supply may be low at night and not filling up the baby for a good long sleep. That was my situation too. I can't say that filling the babies up at night made them sleep -- we had to do our modified CIO method -- but it made me stick to my resolve not to let them nurse all night long because I knew it wasn't hunger making them wake up and cry. Good good luck to you. This is one of the hardest parts of the baby years.

OK, this isn't going to be the popular response, but I've had several friends who have experienced the same problems and it breaks my heart to hear that you're not sleeping through the night (at least 6 hours). First off, stop cosleeping. It's harming your marriage which in turn harms the baby. Second, your baby isn't getting enough sleep which is causing her to NOT get enough sleep. It's a catch 22 - sleep begets sleep. She should be getting 14 hours total (11 at night plus two naps during the day). I know you don't want to let her cry it out, but just work at it during the day and it will work itself out at night. Put her down for 2 naps/day and she'll get used to self-soothing. We did this with our son at 6-8 weeks and he's been sleeping through the night ever since with minimal teething disruptions. *I breastfeed, too* It will take longer now that your daughter is older, but don't give up!! I know you can do it and it will be the best thing for her. Think of your daughter's future. You don't want a child who can't spend the night at a friend's or go to camp because she can only sleep with her parents. I grew up with children like that and it was pitiful.

I've never responded to a posting before, but I feel that other views need to be offered. At least give it a try - not at night as that's too disruptive. Try it first during the day.

Remember that if you're not functioning properly because of lack of sleep, your baby isn't getting good parenting. I followed the book "Babywise" and it worked like a charm, but only with a lot of work on our end. It was worth every minute. Chin up!

Hi J.,
I am a mom of a 7 month old and also a cosleeper at night. My son loves sleeping with us, but is also very comfortable in his own crib. We started napping him in his crib at 4 months, just to get him used to it. At first he used to nap just for 30 minute intervals, now he naps there for an hour an a half to two hours for both morning and afternoon naps. I've also gotten to the point where I can lay him down awake in it, turn on his Oceans Aquarium, and he falls asleep on his own for naps. I've been reading him two books on my lap in a rocker in his room, with a pacifier in and a blanket on his lap right before the nap, to create a nap routine. This really helped. He doesn't fight it anymore.

My thought also with your little girl, is that maybe she's just a cluster feeder and likes to eat all night. Up until about a month ago, my boy did that too...but not quite as often as yours (about every 2 to 3 hours). I would just roll him onto the breast, and then he'd fall back asleep. I would pretty much sleep through it.

By the way, I think Jenny has a good point in letting go of trying to figure it out. That's what I did at about 5 months for Che and finally stopped trying to control his sleep habits.

Like other mothers say, all babies are different, so what works for your daughter, may not work for other babies.

If I could put my two cents in...stay a cosleeper if you can handle it. I am not a big advocate of Cry It Out, but I wouldn't judge you if you needed to do this so that you could get your rest. Also, my fiance sleeps in the guest bedroom often so we all get enough rest. Don't feel bad about that. And sometimes my little boy sleeps with my fiance and I take the spare room. I think babies wake more often if mom is in the bed too...maybe try to have your husband sleep with your daughter.

Okay, sorry for the unorganized thoughts. Good luck. Email me if you want to chat more about this: ____@____.com

A.

Hey J.,
Hang in there! Our daughter is 29 months and just in the last week started sleeping through the night, so sometimes it takes a while (and we chose to take our time with some steps). But over time we learned to manage it as best we could. My husband did like yours, and slept in the guest room from when she was about 8 months old until just last week. And I remember back then being very emotionally fragile due to lack of sleep. So you're not alone! Our pediatrician recommended to us this book, "Sleeping Through The Night" by Jodi A. Mindel (Amazon has it for about $11). We took our time with it, and always had a goal of her sleeping in her crib until daylight, then bringing her in our bed for a morning cuddle. And it's working. Back when she was about 13 months old, we did do the modified cry it out suggested in the book above for bedtime (you do a nice soothing bedtime routine, then leave her awake, then during the crying you go back in every 5 minutes for a quick 30 seconds until it stops). That took a week or so, but worked after that. So she'd sleep in her crib from bedtime to sometime in the 1AM to 5AM timeframe. And sometimes she'd only sleep in her crib for about an hour. If so, I'd tell her she only slept a tiny bit in her crib and that she needed to sleep longer. This resulted in crying the first few times, but we handled it the same way as our Step 1, and she figured it out after a while. This step was good so we got back our evening time to unwind. Then when she was about 21 months old, I would still bring her to our bed, but I stopped nursing her in the night. I explained to her that big girls need to sleep in the night instead of eat so they can grow big and strong. It was a rough first 3 nights, lots of tight holding and sshhh-ing, but after that, she got it. So she'd get in our bed any time from 1AM to 6AM and just fall right back to sleep. This was the step that made a big difference for me getting more sleep. Over the last couple months, when we traveled we'd have her go to bed in a PackNPlay in the room where we slept. Turned out she'd sleep there all night long, with me in the room. So we knew she was ready to progress more. Then last week my husband expressed his great desire to "move back in" to our room. So I explained to her that big girls who were starting school (preschool, that is) needed to sleep all night in their cribs so they could grow up big and strong and do well in school. We told her that when she woke up and saw daylight coming in her window she could call for us and we'd take her into our room to sleep until waking time. The first 4 nights she woke up a few times and wanted out, but now she's got it, after 8 nights. So the moral of my story is, take tiny steps, and give it some time in between, read that book, and try to make the best of the situation while it happens. I know time is dragging right now. But as a seasoned mom of 3 teenagers told me, "Time flies. And I promise she won't be sleeping in your bed when she leaves for college." That gave me a little perspective on the whole thing. Really, infancy was a blink for us. Now toddlerhood is pretty much over in no time. It goes by so fast, and in our case I don't think we'll get to do it again. So all along we've tried to keep that perspective. I hope this novel of an answer makes you feel better. And don't be freaked out, you can certainly do all this stuff a lot earlier and faster than we did if you so choose.
Best wishes for a good night's sleep in the near future,
A.

J.,
My advice to you is to cut down on the co sleeping. What I did when I was having that prob (which I had with all 3) was put them in their own bed when it is time for bed. I stand and sway and comfort until I see eyes rolling and as soon as they shut them one good time I know that they are tired and need to sleep and I lay them down. They fight it at first but your still at a good age to do it. If they fight it, just have them lay back down and pat the bum until they calm then walk away. If crying continues let them cry for a few moments then return and pat them again. Try not to pick them up, I have gotten more lax on my 3rd! and pick him up sometimes and sway him back to sleep but them he goes right back in when he is calm. Sometimes that goes on for a long time. I have fallen asleep in the livingroom waiting to walk back and forth from comforting but that didn't last too long. This gives them a sense of security that you are there and you will be there but most importantly they sleep better. I was least consistent with my 3rd and he still wakes alot but if you are consistent they will benefit from it. Set a specific time that you will allow her to come to bed with you. A good time is somewhere between 3-5 am. My little guy gets into our bed about 4 every morning and nurses and goes back to sleep for a few more hours. I would love to keep him with me all night but it doesn't work best for them or me. Good luck, this to shall pass.
T.

I just started doing "Cry It Out" with our 5 month old, which I know you don't want but I have to say that it does work for us. It's just hard, I know. We're doing "extinction", not Ferber. That means we just let him cry until he falls asleep at night. (for naps we don't use extinction, but he naps like a dream because he sleeps more at night. The more he sleeps, the more he sleeps!) It feels weird to idly let your baby sob. I know. Sometimes baby shouldn't dictate (they might not like their diaper changed or eating vegetables either, think of it that way) But he's sleeping 10 hours solid and taking two 1-2 hour long naps a day plus a few little catnaps (in car or stroller). My husband has way way more resolve than I do and that's helping so much. I wouldn't be able to to Cry It Out without support. So re-consider if your current method doesn't get results. I'll ditch the Cry It Out if I find it doesn't get lasting results, but so far, as much as I hate the idea of it, it works for us. We're using Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child as a guideline.

You poor thing. Can you afford a night nurse for a few times? You could also try hiring a sleep specialist. I have a friend who has had luck with that.

I don't have any words of wisdom, I just want to share to let you know that you aren't alone.

I have a 12 month old that still co-sleeps with us. She has a cosleeper next to our bed, but ends up in our bed each night. I work during the day, so I want as little night time interruption as possible. We also have a 3.5 year old and went through a similar situation with her. What I've found is that consistency is key. Dinner, bath, massages, nursing, etc. are all important, but we found that the time is important too. If you try to do it at the same time each night, you'll notice that soon your baby's internal clock will respond to all of these cues. Some nights won't go as planned; sometimes you'll have to skip parts or hurry parts along if you find that your babe is very tired.

We are going through a time now where I'm getting tired of waking at night, I wish my girls slept through the night (my 3.5 year old still wakes at least once during the night.) We may be doing something "wrong" regarding our sleep routine, but we work through it when we get to the end of our ropes. Trust yourself, read tons of advice both here and in books and other sources on the internet, and then take the bits and pieces that feel right and implement them.

More than anything, know that you are not alone. Good luck!

Well, I am not sure a lot of people would like this advice but, I have four kids and they all are fine today (the youngest is 9yr. old)---lol What I did was give them a nice warm, soothing bath before her last feeding of the night and I know you said you were nursing but, not sure if you ever pump and give it to her in a bottle, but, if you do, warm it up and add some baby ceral (rice or whatever those ones in the box are---- it's been a long time I kind of forgotten), cut the nipple a little to allow the thickness of the bottle so she can still eat and she should sleep like a rock:) Just a suggestion, it's always "mothers instinct" but, thought I'd let you know what I did.

I know I've sent you this before, I checked and it was you, if you breastfeed then u could possibly give some cereal w/ warm water or juice and see if that will help.... good luck and I will pray for you and your family.

I'm sorry but I am a cry it out kind of mom. Now I wasn't in the first place, but thank God my husband insisted up upon it. We did it with both of my daughters and they were both sleeping through the night by the 3rd and 4th month. They sleep in a mini crib or a pack and play, (with the small baby attachment to keep it smaller and higher to reach,) for the first 3-4 months, then we moved them into their own bedroom and we started the cry it out technique. We used to go in there and lay down on the ground until she fell asleep, but that really didn't help either. It is hard hearing them cry, but once you know as a mother all of their needs are met, this is the other need they have to have, how to put themselves to sleep. The first night it was like an hour and a half and believe me I almost caved right then and there, again my husband was my rock and wouldn't let me go in. The second night it was an hour or so, the third night 30 minutes. It stayed at about 10 minutes for another week or so and it was still hard but what a difference and you know what, when she woke up in the morning she was happy - she had enough sleep and I was happy because I had enough sleep.

What we noticed when she would wake up a night is that the crying (after she was fed her bottle) and at 7 months, she shouldn't "need" nursing because she shouldn't be hungry, she only cried maybe another 10 minutes until she fell back asleep again. The first time, she woke 3 or 4 times, the next night it was 2 or 3, until it was rare she woke up at all. I would go check on her make sure she was ok, didn't need a diaper change, etc and whisper to her "time to go night-night, love you see you in the morning" and that was it.

One other suggestions we started was the Fisher Price's
“Ocean Wonders™ Aquarium with remote control”. When I would put her down, I would put that on for her as an extra soother. (The remote is key, because if she wakes up, you can just click it without being in the room.)Eventually, she can even push the button herself. This was a huge lifesaver for us.

By the way, my girls are 6 and almost 8 and they are very happy, loving children that are also independent - so crying it out has never affected them. They know we love them and that is important. As a parent sometimes we need to make hard decisions for the best of our children.

Whatever you choose, I hope it works out for you!

M. S

hi J.,

let me be another mom who responds without reading all of the other advice you received, so i apologize if i'm being redundant.

my daughter was having problems making it through the night, so i was getting up with her and nursing, a lot. at six months i put her in her own room (we had been co-sleeping) that helped right off. It turns out we were waking her at night. she was still getting up several times a night, and again i was nursing her back to sleep each time.

i finally realized that it was just habit for both of us, so my husband and i decided to try a different approach. if she woke before 2 am, he'd get up with her and soothe her back to sleep. after 2 am, i was on. It worked wonders, and she started sleeping longer. then we started making the time an hour longer every few nights/week. we started this over a weekend, so that there was time for my husband to recover from the first night that was the toughest.

after we got things under control with the general sleeping, we'd take turns when she'd wake up in the night. he'd handle it one night, i'd get it the next, that way one of us was always able to sleep. it didn't take long before she started sleeping well thru the night.

good luck!

I have lots of compassion for you, J.. I'm certain you will find the answer that's right for you and your baby. Here's what worked for my daughter and her husband who have a now-7-month-old daughter also. It's their first child. She also was not sleeping and my daughter was exhausted. Their plan had been to breastfeed only for at least 6 months or longer. But at 5 months they started a little solid food to see if it would help. Not only did their baby start sleeping much better, but she became happier and more comfortable overall. They are so happy they made that decision. Breastfeeding continues (no formula) in addition to the solid food and everybody's rested and in good spirits.

I am really sorry that you are struggling right now. My son had the worst problem with being able to take naps on his own. It was to the point that he had to be held in order to take naps and I'd have to sit in our bed in the dark in order to do it. Gradually it did get better. I realize you don't want to hear that it's going to get better but it will. Your daughter is going through some changes, such as a teething. I always remember telling me, once you think you have them on a schedule, BANG!, they will switch it up on you. It was so true. I know you want to sleep and so do I at night since there are still nights when my son still wakes up occasionally through the night. But here is two cents.

What is her nap/sleep schedule like?? Did you read the Baby Whisperer?? Sorry I don't the author. But I kind of did the EASY method which is what the book is about. Eat, Activity, Sleep and then you. How long is she awake before her next nap. That was something I had to really look into when it came to my son. It did really help. Check that out.

You really need for her to sleep in her own crib. It's not helping her or you by co-sleeping. I've never co-sleep. He barely slept in his cradle that was in our room. He's been in his bedroom since day one. She needs to become familiar with the crib or else it will be hard later to transition her to it.

Does she have a soothing toy that she sleeps with?? If she doesn't have one, you need to get one. If she does, I only give my son his soothing toy for bedtime. That way when he goes down to sleep, he knows he'll be getting it get.

Do you have a nap/bedtime routine?? This really works best because it will cue her into knowing what's going to happen next.

As far as the No Cry Sleep Solution, I've never tried it. Is it the same as the Sleep Easy Solution?? I tried that one out and it was tough and my husband hated it so we stopped. You might want to look into it. I know you've probably read tons and tons about this and you don't need anymore. You just want to sleep and I so hear you.

Again I'm sorry and just hang in there. If you have any questions, just message me.

Oh I feel for you! My son is 9 yo now and I didn't have it quite as bad, but my doctor made a comment to me that I will never forget, he said a baby NEVER died from crying. Leave him in his crib and he will eventually learn to sooth himself. It drove me nuts to hear him cry 5 minutes was like a lifetime. Like others say give her a warm bath, massage with lotion, nurse and try it, it may be easier if it is earlier at night. also, I never did this but was told, sleep by the crib and let her know you are there, never turn on the light never llok at her and slowly move out of the room. god luck.

Wow, you have a ton of advice~hope I don't repeat. I have a 15 mo girl who goes to sleep at night by herself in the crib at about 8pm and then gives a little yell at about 1am to come to bed with me. She only wakes up that once and I am a believer in cosleeping, so I don't mind. She slept with me for the 1st year of her life :-)

I've heard the pain of teething is so bad that adults couldn't stand it. I'm Ms. Organic, all natural mom too, but my mom asked me if I take OTC meds when I'm in a lot of pain, and of course I do. So while the all-natural teething gel works well most of the time for my daughter, I do give her tylonal when she seems like she is in more pain.

Also, whenever my daughter is about to make hit a big dev. stage, her sleep patterns at night (which are usually pretty good) get messed up. They usually return to normal within a week or so. Maybe between teething and dev. stages, your baby just got into a bad sleep pattern?

I had to do the CIO thing when my daughter was 13 months because nothing else worked for her. Now she goes down like a dream and actually tells me "night night" when she wants to do her night-time routine and go to bed.

I guess what I'm saying is to keep trying different things. One thing that parenting has taught me is that while I start with a philosophy of each part of parenting, in the end what I do is a combo of those ideas and what works for my daughter. She is her own little person that needs what she needs. My job is to figure it out and give it to her (within reason) For example, while I did not want to do the CIO method, it was taking 2-3 hours of cranky rocking time to put her to sleep before that. She needed something else.

Maybe on the weekends your hubby can take some of the overnights so you get some sleep and during the week you take them so he can work? Just a thought.

Good luck!

I feel your pain- you are not alone! My daughter is 9 months old and gets up average twice a night. I bet that sounds luxurious to you right now! I know because I was in your shoes too. It is totally understandable that you are emotional right now- you are incredibly exhausted! It is so hard to enjoy it when you aren't able to get any rest.

I don't have a magic solution, but The No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book. I can say that these things do get better with time. It is important for you to know that you aren't doing anything wrong- your baby is just going through some changes.

At about 7 months I told my hubby that I needed a full nights rest or I was going to lose it. He surprised me with a hotel room for the night all to myself. I brought my breastpump and he took care of our daughter. I slept 8 hours straight for the first time in over a year! (Pregnancy night bathroom trips!). It was so great and I was amazed at how just one night helped me cope with everything. If you guys can arrange it, I highly recommend it. You really need a break in order to be the best mommy you can be!

Good luck, and know that we will survive this!! :-)

When my daughter was 9 months old and I was at my wits end, I got a book that I think saved both of us - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was amazing - gave me confidence and taught me how to teach her confidence and how to sleep through the night. My friend who has a young baby just called this book her "life raft" and loved that it explains the developmental stages of her baby and how they affect sleep. Sometimes it helps to hear what is going on and how it affects your child. Good luck and Good Night!

We went through something similar with our little man except we don't co-sleep so I'm not sure if I can give any practical advice for your situation. What I can say is that you need to do what your gut says and what feels right for you. If you're exhausted and need sleep and are not being the happy mom you want to be during the day then something needs to change. I'm very adverse to change and I typically want something to work and feel as though if I try hard enough it will. Unfortunately, or fortunately I suppose, my son has his own personality and sometimes my way, isn't the best for him. Keep listening to your little girl and keep trying to coach her to fall back asleep on her own. We ended up doing a very modified Ferber, but again, he's in his own crib. It was a long process...when I stopped nursing him at night there was a lot of holding and rocking him back to sleep when he woke up. Then we started not picking him up when he woke up - we'd just hug him in the crib, then lay him back down and hum a song and pat his back. We'd stay in there till he was calm then walk out. We'd let him cry for a few minutes, but never more than five. Keep going in and doing the same thing. It took a week or so of this but he actually got it - and I don't feel like I did too much psychological damage! Long story short - do what you need to do for you and don't feel guilty for needing sleep!!! Best of luck and hang in there!

Hi J.--

a few things--

1) this is my experience so i don't want you to feel i'm pushing it on you.
2) obtain the book, The Wonder Weeks: it describes fussy periods, sleep problems, etc. and what's going on in our babies brains to bring them about. i highly recommend it cuz it normalizes not only our babies behavioral difficulties and changes, but also our own feelings of ambivalence, frustration, etc.
3) at around that age, my daughter wasn't really napping long stretches or sleeping well at night (more like yours). she, at 14.5 mos., is still not the perfect sleeper (she wakes once per night and only mommy and the breast will do and rises at 5.45 to 6.15 each day no matter what time she goes to bed).
4) we had to give up cosleeping. but what i realized was that as she was becoming more mobile she actually was waking up so frequently and getting upset b/c she did not have her own physical space. my husband and i were holding out, wanting to follow the tenets of attachment parenting, but also, most significantly, having a difficult time imagining her in her own crib in her own room. i felt like she was going away to college. but it really really has helped. like almost immediately. i read the books--no cry, weissbluth, sears, et. al--but watching our daughter and believing her communications was the best thing we could do.
5) we did NOT cry it out, although i will let her fuss it out. if her cries are escalating and go on for longer than 10 minutes we get her. but sometimes she needs a brief period to go to sleep. don't know why. and it's usually when she's going through a developmental leap.
6) my husband MUST attend to her prior 1 am. this has helped get her sleep consolidated. she no longer expects me, but i do go if she simply can't be comforted any other way.
7) check out askmoxie.com. you won't find better advice.
8) we use a fan and a cd for white noise.
9) what time are you putting her down? beware of adrenalin overload--check out moxie on sleep times, nap schedule (the 2-3-4), etc. many babes, like mine, need an early early bedtime and need to nap 2 hours after first waking up. a sleep schedule worked wonders, but we had to FULLY commit to it.
9) sleep deprivation is a form of torture and mimics depression (i'm a therapist), and i do agree that there is a critical point when something must be done to preserve our sanity!
if you only have one bedroom, try putting a shoji screen or curtains or something aroudn the crib so that she has her own room.

take good care.

Do you have any family or friends close by. It might be hard for you to do but perhaps a friend could take your daughter for the weekend so you can get some sleep. I you are also sleep deprived it will be much harder to cope.
Also the more sleep babies get the more they need, she has probably gotten over tired and in a routine of waking up. If you get into a strict bedtime routine you may have some luck after a week or so.
It does get easier, please ask for help.

This worked well for us when my son was 13 months old: we co-slept, but I moved into the other room and when he woke up my husband comforted him by rocking him or whatever it took. After maybe a week or so, he slept through the night. I think he thought it wasn't worth it to wake up if he wasn't going to nurse. It might be rough on your husband for a while, but plan for a good time and give it a try! Good luck!

My daughter was the same way when she was about three months or so. What I found out about my daughter was that she wasn't getting enough milk during breastfeeding. Once I made sure she had enough to eat, she slept through the night most of the time. When she woke up crying from teething, I gave her a pacifier and she was able to soothe herself back to sleep. She's now almost one year old and a great sleeper at night.

I am a mother of 4 and when I put my little ones to sleep at night I would strip them to their diaper and give them a baby massage with the sleepy time lotion which has chamomile and lavander,
Then I would dress them in their jammies and rock them in the rocker and sing to them at the same time massaging very gently and slow their head temples and back of the neck with the tips of my fingers. I never had a problem. My sister went thru the same situation as you and she was frustrated, tired and almost hated being a mother...I showed her how I got my babies to sleep every night and it worked like a charm.

Try the book- Healthy sleep habits, happy child by Marc Weissbluth, MD includes Co-sleeping and modified "cry it out" techiques...at 7 mos my daughter was the same way...nurse to sleep, sneak into bed, and when she awoke, I had to start all over! We ended up spending 3 nights with a modified Cry it out technique....I know you said that doesn't appeal, but the book made me realize that urging her to put herself to bed was the best gift I could give her. That confindence made me feel better about "showing her she will be ok on her own". We also realized that we were putting her to bed WAYYYYY tooo late for what she needed and wanted and once we shifted from 7ish to 5pm!!!! (no joke) if made all the difference. Sleep begets sleep. At 22 months she goes to bed at 8ish now, but she was inbed just past 5pm for awhile there! Best wishes!

Hi J.,
I LOVE the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. The late author was an experienced nanny, and her methods worked for both of my kids who have slept through the night since they were 3 months old. She is not a fan of cosleeping or crying it out, but you can still try her methods if you continue to cosleep. The book has a huge section on identifying sleep issues and suggestions on how to resolve them. You can also look at babywhisperer.com.
Good luck whatever you choose to try,
C.

Hi J.,
My husband and I did the cry it out method and it has been a life saver!!!! I can not even begin to list all the benefits we received from it! My little guy was like your daughter waking up very often (every 45 mins to be exact). I was a wreak and had reach my limit. So, we decided to let him cry it out. We would put him to bed and walk out of his room and let him cry for as long as he need to. Sometimes it was as long as 2 hours. We bought a video monitor so I would know he was okay. That thing was one of the best things we have ever bought (Summer brand). The cry it out method can work a couple of ways but we did the hard core method of not returning to the room. At first, things seemed to get worse and his crying was lasting longer and longer until about the 5th night. He started to cry less and his cries were weaker. Then all the sudden he only started crying after we left the room for like a minute and it was a weak attempt to get us to come back. He finally gave in and now he treasures his sleep. It took us about a week to complete the sleep training and that was it! He sleep from 7:30pm to 7:30am. He is 2 now and is the only toddler I know that doesn't fight us going to sleep. He will actually grab his lovey and head to his room if he is tired before bedtime which is 7:30 and he still sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30-8:30am! I would highly recommend crying it out. You have to be ready for it and be prepared to be very consistant. If you screw up once you will have to start over again. Good luck!

This is definitely one of the roughest things to have to go through. I am so sorry and hope this phase is behind you soon.

When my baby was 6 months old she was waking up every hour or even half hour because of teething. I found that giving her baby tylonol and baby motrin was a life saver. I would stagger the timing of the dosages so one would kick in when the other wore off.

It sounds like you are wanting to use only natural medicines. I would encourage you to evaluate your motivation for doing this and see if it might be more beneficial for you and your baby to get some sleep as it is one of the most vital things for a healthy body and mind.

Hang in there,
A.

I'm in the same boat and I'm sick of it! My son will be 7 months on the 12th and doesn't sleep through the night and I have tried all the methods I've seen recommended. It's like my son doesn't want to miss something.

Dear J. F,

Don't lose hope. I was going through the same thing when my son was 6 1/2 months old. My husband and I were still sleeping with our son in a co-sleeper next to our bed. Our son was not sleeping through the night and needed to be nursed to go back to bed. He would wake up 3 to 6 times a night and it was taking a toll on me. I was starting a new job and had to get more sleep to survive.

We committed to the change of moving him into his crib in his own room. We did use the Ferber method, more known as the crying out method. What you're supposed to do is place your child in the crib when they are drowsy. I feed my son until he is almost asleep and then place him in the crib with a pacifier. They recommend comforting your child with soft words while tucking them and then walk away. if they are crying wait 5 minutes and then come back in and gently talk to your child and make sure they are safe, then walk away. Don't stay any longer then a minute or two and do not pick them up. If they continue to cry wait 10 minutes and then go in and repeat the process, each time extending the time you wait to check on them a few more minutes. The first night it took an hour for our son to fall asleep and he woke up a few times, but when we repeated the process it took less time for him to fall asleep. The second night it took an hour still for him to fall asleep, but he finally slept the whole night. It took a few more nights to get him to go to sleep without a fuss, but he's slept through the night ever since. It's been a month and things are still going well. I honestly think putting him in his own room helped him sleep through the night. without me there to nurse there wasn't a reason for him to wake up.

I know this process doesn't work for everyone, but if you have the patients I say give it a try. You just have to be committed to not picking them up when they're crying. We set a time limit of an hour and a half we were willing to hear him cry. If he was crying after that long we would pick him up. Luckily he fell asleep each night before we hit our limit.

I wish you all the best,
C.

Hi J.,

I see you have many responses already, but I haven't read all of them, so what I write here may be repetitive. I feel for you... my son (who never slept well and still doesn't) started waking every 30-60 minutes throughout the night when he was 4 months old. My husband and I were so against CIO that we tried our best to get through it, but after 3 weeks were going insane with exhaustion and stress. We finally decided to read and try Ferber's methods in his book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". It's actually a pretty well-written book about sleep.

It's been a long, tiring, stressful road of sleep-training for us, but for now our son goes to bed in his crib usually without crying and might wake 1-2 times in the night and need help going back to sleep (back rub or nursing).

By the way, Ferber's methods for training naps didn't work for us (and neither did Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Even the sleep consultant's plan when our son was 10 months old didn't work! He only falls asleep for naps in the car or stroller these days.

Please feel free to contact me privately if you want to talk more about this. I definitely feel CIO is the last resort, and only if you feel like you're going crazy from lack of sleep.

Dear J.,

I wish I had some miracle cure for sleeping through the night. All I can say is your doing all the right things for yourself. The only real cure is to fully accept this situation as the way it is now and have faith that it will change. It will change. She will sleep through the night. Whatever method you try will eventually work, however stay open-minded because sometimes another method might work better down the line.

If need be ask for help! Have someone come over to watch her and GET some sleep!! Once the teething stops she'll return to her normal sleep patterns. Until then you just need to take care of yourself. In the end it will make you a better mom, better wife, and better person.

Hang in there! Your not alone.

Mom of three. Ages 5yrs- 5mths old, who's also teething and waking up all hours of the night!

Hi J., I spent seven of my parenting years sleep deprived. I would do it differently now. Our family bed was great - to a point. I would suggest having some cranio-sacral work for both your daughter and you. It will help calm the over-tiredness going on and help establish a new start. Now that my children are much older, I realize what my "nurturing" ideals cost me in terms of sanity and happiness and stress on them. You will definitely figure this out. You are a brave and conscious parent.

My pediatrician just gave me this website on temperment when I started asking her a bunch of questions on sleeping in regards to my almost 7 mos. old. http://www.preventiveoz.org/index.html Before we got a chance to fill it out, a person from Preventative Ounce called us to talk to us. Apparently the pediatrician referred us. It says right on the site that it is a free service to all parents. Last night I filled out the questionaire w/ my husband. I did not understand the results, but I'll wait for someone to call and explain it to us and answer my 3000 questions! Can't hurt right? Hang in there my friend!

Hi J.,
I don't have a lot of great advice, but I can totally relate! My oldest daughter was the worst sleeper. I was up every night until she was 18 months AND she never napped. At 18 months, all of a sudden she started taking naps and sleeping thru the night. Before that, I tried every tip from every sleep book I could find. Nothing worked. My doctor said some babies are just bad sleepers and you have to wait it out. Hopefully, you'll have better luck and this will pass soon for you. Just know my daughter sleeps great now and so do the rest of us. It will get better, even though now it doesn't feel like it. Take care.
A. =)

How long has she been teething. Generally it only affects the babies 1-2 nights for each tooth. My daughter had no problem with teething until the molars. What type of schedule is your daughter on (bedtime & waking). You said she doesn't self soothe and you have to nurse her. No baby automatically know how to self soothe. They have to be taught by putting them to sleep awake and letting them work it out. I didn't like co-sleeping at all, because no one gets good sleep. Kids should get in the habit of sleeping in their own bed. Also, your husband is no longer in bed with you, which is not good for any marriage. How long did yout try the modified CIO method?
How long did you let her cry in her crib? Has she always woke up every hour or so or just during teething. Is it possible she has an ear infection-sometimes teething will lead to an ear infection also. Please give a little more info and hopefully someone's suggestions will work.

I actually debated on weather or not to send another response to you. You asked the same question last month, and I don't know what you tried. I read all the responses from last time and all the responses this time as well. It is my understanding that you wish to use natural and homeopathic remedies to parenting and child rearing. But you did not state if you had tried to give her any food before you put her down at night. I also advised you that moving her from your bed was going to be very difficult for you, and you are going to have to be patient. More than likely you will end up trying more cio before you are through. I do feel for you since all three of my children and my 7mo old granddaughter all slept through the night since they were 3 to 6 weeks old. Again co-sleeping has some terrible draw backs and this is one of them. Good luck

Dear J.,
You sound so tired, honey! I'm so sorry. I remember feeling that bad and thinking I'd rather have the flu than feel this crazy.
I know this has already been said, but I'll reiterate: try the Infant's Tylenol or Motrin. Motrin has a longer effective period (6 hours , I believe, as opposed to the 4 of Tylenol). It won't hurt her any more than the lack of sleep is hurting you all. This sounds like some funny head trip and I don't mean it that way. It just sounds like you all need to get your feet back on the ground, get into a healthy rhythm again and life will be a lot easier.
Good luck and I hope you can get some deep healing sleep soon.
A.

Hi J.,

I know how it feels to not get enough sleep and the baby not getting enough sleep. I was introduced to a child's wellness expo last Sat and it was incredible. There were 13 different doctors, teachers and parents talking about sleep challenges, Autism, ADD/ADHD and many other challenges that our children today are experiencing and natural solutions how to help with these topics. They are having another child's wellness expo in Santa Cruz on the 23rd of this month. If this is something that interests you let me know and I will send you a flier and put you on the guest list.

Good luck.

N. Marie

I would try a little Tylenol or Motrin if you think it is teething. Used correctly, it will not harm your baby and it really soothes them if it is teething! My daughter teethed at about the same age and it was 1-2 weeks of interrupted sleep per tooth (one lucky Mom posted 1-2 nights of pain, so I wanted to let you know that longer isn't abnormal). We were successful getting my daughter to sleep by rocking and singing softly in a dark room, and then putting her on our bed or in her own crib.

I wonder if you have stared solids if it could be 1) a food allergy or sensitivity 2) dehydration, or 3) she is hungry.

I hope she sleeps son! Best wishes.

I feel your pain. My daughter was 11mo old the first time she slept thru the night. I still have not had consistant sleep for the past two yrs. (had insomnia last months of pregnency) How you are feeling is normal so dont beat yourself up. I completely agree, and did not let my now 7yr old, nor my 16mo old cry themselves to sleep. I actually tried to let the youngest cry back to sleep once, felt horrible for letting her, and she screamed bloody-murder for an hour straight. So... that doenst work in my house. HERES WHAT WORKS FOR US: We use the chamilla drops during the day, but use some called viburcol at night. Also, my girlfriend is a pediatric dental hygenist. She told me to use the finger brush with the hylands gel or baby oragel after brushing my daughters teeth/gums. That made a huge difference. We did the hylands. My little monster is getting her molars now, which are much harder on our poor little babies than the other teeth. My husband is off on weekends. If he wants a sane wife... he has to get up with Audrey on Fri and Sat nights. Granted he has only been able to relieve me since I stopped nursing just before her first b-day. (she wouldnt take a bottle to save her life for the first 11mo) She sleeps thru probably three nights a week. she likes to sleep cool, like Daddy. My 7yr old was a great sleeper, she started sleeping thru the night at 3mo, and she likes to be very warm and snugglie, like Mommy. Maybe reasses the jammie situation to see if cooler, or warmer makes a difference. My older brother nick-named 16mo old Audery "the Grimlin". Best of luck. I really hope some of these wonderful moms have some experiences that you can try, and will work for your family. Hugs!!!! You need them!!! Thats the only thing that gets me thru.