How to Get Husband to Be Firm with the Kids?

Parenting does not come naturally to most people. this is why we have to read to learn some of the tricks of the trade.

Try to think of a way to ask your husband, "How is he hoping your children will remember him?"

That they respected him.
He was honest.
He was fair.
That they could always count on him.
That they knew what he expected of them.

Children need rules. They like knowing what is expected of them. They need to know we love them enough to keep them on track. They want to know we see what they are up too, good or bad.

He is not being a bad parent when he tells them, "I do not like your tone."
"You are not allowed to speak to an adult like that."

"Your job is to go to school and work hard to make good grades."
"I know you are intelligent, act like it."
"I do not hear talk back."

"Go to your room and find your regular voice."
"I love you, but right now I am very disappointed with your attitude."
" I know you can make the right decisions."

We can be angry and disappointed with our children and still love them..
He needs to learn this.. He is not doing them any favors by trying to be the "nice parent". Instead they will walk all over him. They want him to parent them.. they are begging him with their behaviors..

Sit him down and get him to watch Super Nanny with you.

Try to get your hubby to read some books on parenting, My Dh wont so I'll read and say "oh listen to this it sounds like us or our children" "oh look at this page we should try this more...."
Can you arrange for him to spend some time with some really rotten teenagers?

Your Husband needs to 'parent'... NOT try and be a "friend."

B.,

I know you already received a lot of responses. But, I thought you might want to look into a book I have found very helpful. It is called "Scream-Free Parenting" by Hal Runkel.

How your husband is reacting to his boys is a passive way of screaming. You and he may benefit from reading the book. I know you can't make him, but maybe if he sees you reading it and if you talk with him about how you are going to try some of the ideas in the book it may help to encourage him to read it.

Good luck.

C. J.

you tell him you need for him to step up that he needs to be the dad in the family that your son is in trouble and someone needs to handle it. no easy way to put it

You may not be able to change him. Do the best you can. Your kids will figure out that they have to answer to YOU and they'll work it out. If you can take him with you to a parenting class, that might help, but he likely won't see the need. He probably thinks you're the bad guy here.