How to Break Divorce News to 5 Yr Old

Give him "positive" instead of negative: rather than say: "We are NOT going to live together anymore" (or however you want to put it, it's still something yoiu are not going to have anymore), tell him that he's going to still enjoy mommy and daddy and that he' s going to have 2 houses and 2 bedrooms all for himself.Tell him that whenever he wants to talk to or see one either one of you (parents) while he's at either one's home, you both will call him or go see him.When asked "why", simply tell him that sometimes parents need to have two different homes (don't use psychologically heavy words as "separate") and that he'll get to pick his new furniture/toys/decor/etc... 5 is too young to be able to grasp the adult explanations of divorce, make clear his home arrangements are going to change by higlighting the "positive" things (although positive is not a word that makes sense in divorce, but he still needs to perceive some things as positive), don't talk to him as it was a big deal but still prepare him to transition into the change. More details can be shared later, for now the most important thing is to help him minimize the stress of the change and adjust to the different homes and to not having one of you with him at all times. Keep it simple, still telling the thruth, but avoid instilling tension or sadness or any other negative feeling you may project on him while breaking "the news". Remember he is not an adult, he does not need too much information: just what matters to him. Good luck.

Tell your child the truth and tell it right now if you ever want him to trust you.
You don't have to criticize Daddy to say we aren't able to get along any more.

I told my boys that although mommy and daddy love them with all our hearts, and that we will always be the best parents we can to them, that sometimes mommys and daddys just can not live together anymore.

There is a class called Kids First (or other similar names) that the courts will require you to take. It has some really good information about the effects of divorce on children and how to address those effects in advance, and as situations/behaviors arise.

I totally agree with the mom that said you have to be honest. Telling him you are "at work" will not only give him a false sense of what is happening, once he finds out the truth, he will not trust you and feel betrayed. Honesty, at an age appropraite level (don't get into the dirty details) is your best bet.

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, and wish you the best.

K.

A family in my neighborhood recently separated. Their kids were 5 and 7 when the split happened. They told their kids honestly that mom and dad have decided that they are going to continue to be friends, but no longer live with each other. The kids seem to be doing remarkably well with this type of explanation. Basically it removes any fear from the child that he/she is to blame.

At 5, I would suggest being honest with your son. It will be a transition period for all of you, but I think there will be more uncertainty in his life if you keep dancing around the subject.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Wishing a smooth transition for you and your son.

i agree with what the person above M. said, thats what i did pretty much concentrated on the aspect hat would affect her and kept it positive i didnt really talk about our relatinoship ending...i spoke to a child psychologist once and they said under 6 doesnt even understand the concept of a romantic relationship or marriage...so J. start explaining the 2 rroms and get him excited for decorating it and picking out some new toys

at first we did the whole i have to go to work, when we were lviing in the same house seperate..b/c it didnt make sense to her why we were splitting time when she was 3 (that was the worst i felt like she thought we were choosing work or friends over her..now that wer don't share a homeits soooo easy)....

i told my daughter that mommy and daddy love her and will always love eachother (i felt it was impt for her to know we still cared abt eachother so she didnt blame anyone and question anything...she doesnt need to know the reasons) and that we'll all still be a family and her family J. a diferent one who lives in sperate homes...
If you have a friend going through it, visit them and show them how they have two homes...my bestfriend J. went through it before M., so my daughter understood somewhat when she was 3...i talked about what she wanted in her new room a lot and focused more on her having 2 homes and 2 rooms, and would always talk about that to reinforce that we were going to move out more than the divorce issue, b/c kids at that age dont really understand marriage or divorce anyway...all they need to know is that u all love eachother but she will have 2 homes, and that u still care abt her dad and u both love her/him. Also i joined a single parents group on meetup and met up with her and them and it was good for her to interact with kids that had two homes and people had great advice. IOf you need any more info feel free to pm M....i'm not sure i did it right but i feel it was best for her
oh also now that shes 5 i mention we're not married in a nice way on occasion if she asks a question about it...i'll J. say oh sweetie we're not married anymore thats why your mom and dad cant make you a new baby brother or sister..or any other innocent question that would requitre us to be together

be honest and up front, don't leave him to "figure it out" for himself, that's where things could go wrong. many local churches have a DC4K (Divorce Care 4 Kids) programs that will help with this. keep communications open and supportive.