How Old Is Old Enough?? - Birmingham,MI

That is more than old enough. When I was a kid, I was babysitting overnight for a toddler at that point.

If he is comfortable staying at home alone, go for it.

Don't see a problem. I was babysitting other people's kids when I was 12 and my siblings when I was younger than that. It was before the days of caller id, so we always had to answer the phone and announce that my mom was in the shower to whoever it was. One day her best friend (whom had known us since we were born) heard this excuse for the 3000th time and told me I must have the cleanest mom in the entire world. After that, we could tell a limited number of people we were home alone.

I was babysitting my younger siblings when I was 10 (no more than 2 hours) and babysitting others when I was 12.

If you have reservations about him, that's one thing, but generally speaking, I would think a 13 year old is more than ready to be home alone with less rules.

13 seems way old enough! My nephew stays home alone for short periods at age 10 and my neighbors are allowing their 10 year old son and 9 year old daughter to be home alone short periods too. Does depend on the kid and where you live but pretty sure by 13 I was definitely home alone and my parents were conservative. Lots of 13 year olds are babysitting...

My 13 year old niece regularly babysits, which means she's not only alone but entrusted with the care of two toddlers.

I think by trusting kids you're showing them you believe they are trustworthy, so unless he has shown poor judgement or is immature in other ways, I would allow him more freedom.

At 13? Of course it depends on the kid but he should be just fine. Heck, I was working a full time job at 14. I think we tend to over baby our kids today and we fail to see that they are actually very capable.

I was babysitting at 11, and at the age of 12 spend my summer, 8 hours a day, caring for a 1 month old and a 5 year old. I could not imagine at that age not being trusted to be home alone to be honest.

I'm with you on the phone and door rules, but I never limited screen (video/computer/TV) time. I would hate it if I was home alone and someone told me I could only do (xyz) for an hour. It's his free time, unless he has chores or homework to get done why would you micromanage that? That just builds resentment in my opinion. Let the kid chill how he wants.
ETA: forgot to add that my kids were babysitting other kids at that age, as did I as a kid, so yes, for SURE old enough.

Kids learn such valuable life skills by being home on their own when they're the right age. We started when our son was 10 and let him stay home for short stretches. At 11, he now is able to stay home a couple hours on his own during the day. He doesn't answer the door or phone. I wouldn't leave him right now at night, but that's mostly because he has ADHD and his medication stops working at night, so his decision-making wouldn't be good. We have a German Shepherd who barks loudly, so we feel safe having him on his own.

By 13, I was babysitting other people's children, so your son is definitely at an age where he can be on his own. Only five more years until he's legally an adult, so it's good to teach him how to manage in life.

13 good lord. he is totally ok staying at home alone unless he has made some seriously poor choices in the last 2 years.

Heck I was taking care of 3 children all summer when I was 12. I cooked, yes on the stove and with the oven. , supervised their play, walked them to the pool and made sure they were ok.

Our daughter could cook a full meal and do laundry by the time she was in 6th grade.
He can handle it. The going outside and answering the doors are the main rules.

The computer usage is a family decision and he should know where he is allowed to go on there, you can check the history when you get home.

If our daughter had completed all of her chores and homework, she was allowed to read, watch TV or be on the computer, while we were gone.

I remember when my youngest was 12 and we'd left her home alone when we went out for dinner and my mother was flabbergasted that she was home alone for a few hours until I pointed out that she babysits OTHER people's children when they go out.
At that age, both of my children were able to be home alone all day if they didn't have school and I was working or if I had something going on an evening. They knew the rules of no friends in the house, no answering the door, etc. They could each make or at least start dinner and make their own lunches - sandwiches, mac 'n cheese, pizzas, baked potatoes, etc.
They had to check in before leaving the house and they had some chores. I never really had to restrict TV or anything b/c it just wasn't an issue.

I leave my kids alone at home all the time, together or by themselves. They're 16, 13 and 11. They've been more than capable of being home alone by themselves since they were 10. Started with 1 hour here and there, working up to longer times little by little. By 13, I would imagine there should be no problem being at home alone for any length of time, any time of the day or evening (except overnight, of course). But it depends on the child. If you feel your son is responsible enough, he should be fine alone. If you feel he needs more "training", then give him more "training". Every child is different.

A lot of us were babysitting at 11 and 12. By 13, a lot of us were pretty independent. Things are different now, of course, so the ages have been pushed up a couple of years. So a 13yr old should be able to be at home alone and be allowed to manage their own time.

My 10 yr old stays home alone for a few hours. The rules are no answering the door, no answering the phone unless it's mommy or daddy, no cooking. I haven't regretted it yet! She did this all summer.

Hi S.,
My son is now 22. I have been letting him alone in the house since he was 10. His father and I broke up so I had to go to work and I would wake him in the morning before I left he would dress himself and go to school. He also would walk home from the bus stop( in town) and stay alone til I came home time being from 1-2 hours. I never had a problem. My ex and family had a problem with it you claiming it was neglect. I asked the school administration building and they said guidelines stated a child had to be 15 yo to stay alone over nite but no mention on a age to spend a few hours alone. I also had a premature baby that this son also babysat when he was 15 yo and she was 5 mo. This was for in around 3-4 hours. This was til my husband and I picked up my stepson. We never had a problem.We would call and check in.

I have left my 9 year old daughter at home with my 7 year old son for about an hour or so. I was babysitting my neighbors 5 kids when I was 9 and my daughter is very much a rule follower and they have both done great. 13 is plenty old enough to be left home alone. My kids know they are not allowed to answer the door, even if it's their friends (lots of kids in the neighborhood). They know a little bit of basic first aide also.

My stepson was alone after school when he was 11. He had to walk home with friends, key in, call his dad, start on his HW. No cooking, but he could have a snack. Etc. The limits at 13 were much less. We might leave the sks for the bulk of the day, provided they had plans, we knew their plans (or lack thereof) and they didn't burn down the house. We didn't keep them off the TV or computer, but they also had to get their chores or homework done or they'd lose that privilege. It depends on the kid, of course, but I think 13 is well old enough to fend for himself a bit here and there. I wouldn't leave him overnight, but I'd go out to dinner on a date. By 13, many kids can handle babysitting, and you say he's been trustworthy, so give him some leash and see how he does.

It's going to vary by kid.
Some are mature enough for a few hours home alone at 11.
But - I wouldn't be leaving an 11 yr old home alone for a whole weekend or week.
Others are so immature I'd NEVER leave them alone no matter how old they get for fear of them burning down the house.

My son just turned 12. When he was 10 he took a home alone class and I started leaving him alone for short periods, such as to drive my younger son someplace or a quick errand, usually no more than an hour or two. At 11 I let him stay home alone for up to three or four hours at a time. Before he turned 12 he took babysitter training. He now stays home with his younger brother for a few hours at a time and has babysat a couple of other kids for the evening. He is a very responsible, smart kid and has had plenty of training and appropriate experience.

Sounds to me like he's plenty old enough and plenty responsible enough. Your rules sound reasonable to me. As long as he continues to maintain your trust, you can maintain and add privileges. That's how kids learn to be more responsible. I'd just add in something about fire safety - either how to use a fire extinguisher or have rules about not using the stove or oven, making sure he knows what can and can't go in the microwave. If he's alone in the evening, I'd make sure he does something intelligent about leaving lights on. And if he has a cell phone or computer, he shouldn't be telling all his friends that he's home alone. That's a red flag for predators/burglars, and it's an invitation for kids who want to get into mischief (or worse). We left our son home before the age of 13, and he always knew which neighbors were the ones he could call on for help.

If he's keeping up with his school work and any chores that are his responsibility, I'd consider relaxing that one-hour screen time limit. He can earn that privilege by being judicious in his choices. Be sure to tell him you are proud of him.

The more he gains your respect and the confidence that comes from being alone, the better off you will be when he's 16 and 17. That's really important!!

A kid age 12 can take Red Cross babysitting classes and babysit another living person by themselves.

So, if they should be able to watch a complete other person by themselves it only stands to reason they should be able to completely do a good job watching themselves by themselves by age 12....

You are the ONLY one who can gauge if your child is old enough to manage this by themselves.

Fortunately I've had to work with people with developmental disabilities to have home alone time and have drawn up plans for each of these people where they can work towards staying alone.

There are lots of steps to staying home and being safe.

When we started letting our girl have home alone time it wasn't real alone time. We'd go outside to mow, do stuff in the garage, hang out in the back yard, we were right there but she was in the house unobserved and unsupervised.

Then we'd go to the neighbor's house for half an hour or so...you know, maybe have a cup of hot cocoa, then we'd take a walk but be on the street, still in the immediate neighborhood but again, she was all alone.

Once she felt okay with that we started running to the store for an item or two. Accidents can happen, people can die, my sister ran to the bank and it was robbed while she was there and she was a hostage....life can happen so ALWAYS have a backup plan. We always let our immediate neighbor know we were leaving and our estimated time back. If we didn't show up she'd stop by and check on our granddaughter. If time passed she'd actually go get her and take her to her house and they'd pass time so worry wouldn't get out of control.

We still have a backup plan anytime we leave her alone. We still don't go off and leave her alone for more than an hour or so but there are 3 neighbors who know she's alone and no one would allow anything to happen to her. They also have all our numbers in case something does happen to either her or us.

We do not have any plans at this time to start home alone time with our grandson for years though because he isn't ready.

Re: computer time. No erasing history or otherwise deleting sites visited, etc., and I would make it clear that I as the parent will be checking the computer history. If the history has been deleted so that you can't check it, the wi-fi will be disabled. If any objectionable sites are visited, the wi-fi will be disabled and password protected. And you and your son will have to sit down together and determine what is considered questionable and what is acceptable.

Where my nephew lives in Illinois he cannot leave a 13 YO home alone legally. The age is 14. Now, that might be high but that's what it is. I think I was home alone for short bursts at age 8.

What are his other options for entertainment? One of my concerns would be what he might decide to do when screen time is up. Does he have ny assignments that must be completed by your return?

well, for a helicopter mom, you sound pretty relaxed and sensible! and i love that you are allowing your son incremental privileges and trusting him within sensible parameters.
i could leave my boys alone for a few hours in the afternoons from 14 and 11 on. they were generally together, but could also be trusted solo. i homeschooled and worked, so they had the option of coming with me (i generally had the younger come with me if the older wasn't home regardless) or working independently at home on the days i went to the courthouses. i was lucky in that i had a flexible schedule, and all the courthouses have tables where they could sit and work quietly.
my rules were pretty basic. schoolwork and chores first, and then they could pretty much do what they pleased (and that tended to be video games<G>.) but they could go outside if they wanted and do whatever they liked on the farm, which is fairly rural and secluded.
khairete
S.