When Is It Okay to Leave Kids at Home Alone?

My son is also nine and I've started leaving him home alone for short periods. I think it was scarier for me than it was for him. Give her good instructions regarding what to do when the door bell rings, etc. and let her experience that freedom.

It's ok when you feel comfortable with her staying by herself.
My oldest was 9 when he started staying by himself.

This may vary from state to state, but in Indiana, the law says a child must be 13 years old before being left home alone.

I wouldn't leave a 9 year old home alone. I vividly remember watching some news show about leaving kids home alone. They did a hidden camera experiment. Every single one of the parents said "oh my kids know the rules. They would never, ever let anyone into the house". Guess what? Every single mature, well-behaved kid allowed a stranger to talk their way into the house! Every single one! Part of the problem is that they are good, well-behaved kids. They are polite and helpful and respectful and when someone comes to the home and says they are with the city, county, the dog catcher and need to check the back yard for a dog that was reported missing and seen running near their house, with a church, etc. Every single one of the kids opened the door! The parents were absolutely horrified.

9 is very young and they do not think or process things as quickly as an adult would to keep themselves out of trouble. They don't have the life skills to fully protect themselves. Of course she is asking to stay alone. That's how they grow and test their boundaries but it's our job as parents to continue to give them education, learning experiences and tell them "no" when need be.

I think a mature 9 that knows all the rules and what to do in an emergency could be left for short periods inthe daytime when you are no more than 15 minutes away. Kids start babysitting at 111 or 12, so, being alone at 9 or 10 doesn't seem unreasonable. Be sure she knows not to try and cook anything while you are gone.

Check your local laws. In some states they do have an actual age limit set.
In mine there is no age limit and it explicitly says that it depends on the maturity of the child and the length of time you are gone. I would probably feel comfortable leaving a mature 9 year old for 20 minutes or so, while I run to the store - but probably not for a 3 hour Sunday afternoon Costco trip.
Good luck!

i think my kids will be 20 and still going with me:) i have a security system also. i don't think that kids will know what to do if presented with a situation that can possibly be harmful. not just someone breaking in, but what about the lady who posted her microwave caught on fire? or she is doing dishes and cuts her hand to the bone like my mom did once? or someone even attempts to break in. yes she has a cell phone, but would she panic if something happened?

here's an answer I posted to a similar post last week:
I guess I am certainly in the minority here......When my sister and I were in 5th/6th grade during the summer we were home by ourselves. We did have grandparents a mile or two away and mom and dad came home for lunch every day......we also had neighborhood kids in the same age range. My sister and I had a list of chores every day - to include laundry, dishes, dusting, etc. If mom and dad got home at lunch time and found out we left the house before doing our chores - they would figure out where we were and come and get us and bring us home. My town was fairly small - 20k people and no surrounding towns (I mean, not like a suburban area or anything) - I think it was common for us all to be home, I mean, we certainly weren't in the minority - most of our friends were home at least a few hours during the summer days.....Oh - that was late 80's / early 90's (I'm 33 - just to give an idea of a time frame).

If you aren't comfortable, maybe it isn't time...not because she's not ready, but because YOU'RE not ready. It won't be worth it if you make yourself sick over it. Maybe revisit the question when she's 10? (She's probably ready now...but I know it must be hard! My opinion? I'm never leaving my kids home alone, ever!!) :)

At 9 I was babysitting other kids during the day and certainly allowed to stay home on my own. That was the late 80's and early 90's though...not 2011. I feel that times are different and certainly not as safe. We live in a safe neighborhood, but I would spend the whole time FREAKING out if I left my 8 year old daughter home alone. There are other neighbors that do it though...I'm just not comfortable with it. I'd say they can do it once they take the safe babysitter course...so they know what to do in case of an emergency. Even if they don't have other kids to watch, it gives great advice!

Call your local Red Cross, they can tell you at what age they offer the home alone courses in your area, and what age they offer babysitting courses. i'm not saying you need to do them, although they are great options to help your child learn safety while home alone or babysitting. But it will give you an idea of what the legal age in your area is.

In Ohio there is no legal age to stay home alone. If I recall they offer the home alone course at 10 or 11 and babysitting at 13. So that's our house rule. My 11 year old has been left home alone, with phone access, directions about not answering the door ect. and for not more than 2 hours at a time. His younger siblings are not aloud to stay with him. I don't know that I will trust him and his brother together, well ever. lol

Our son started saying home alone with our other 2 kids at 12 he did kow what to do in case of an emergency. At 9 if something happened while you were away the law would call it child neglect and child endangerment, just not a good idea. J.

Little Girls are so precious! We tend to treat them a whole lot different then we do boys. I let my 9 yr old boy stay home alone, he like your daughter was very responsible. My middle child a boy, I am not sure I would leave him home alone at 9 or 11 he is just not as responsible. My neice is just now 12 and her mom only let her stay home this summer by herself. My daughter is 3, she is like her older brother responsible and listens. Yet I am not sure at what age I would let her say home alone just yet.
Be very cautious about your little one. We hear so many stories of Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Dugard, but not too many about the boys. :-|

I would say when she is in Jr. High or when she is 13.

Blessings....

What a geat questioin. My son turns 10 on Monday and i wondered the same thing until someone said there were laws in some states - see link

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

I had no idea the age was 14 in Illinois!! There is no law in Indiana. There is a checklist on the website that might help ou evaluate the situation.

Although Dori W.'s answer made me rethink my answer.
Thanks for the question!

Check with your local police department to find out what your city's law is for staying home alone. In our city, there is no particular age they leave it to the discretion of the parents and police if there happened to be an incident.

I left my oldest home alone when he turned 11. He was left home for 10 or 15 minutes at a time before and he is ultra-mature and always has been, I just never felt comfortable leaving him until at least the age I was when I started babysitting.

You will know when the time is right for you and what falls within state laws.

I called the local police department and they said there is no law but the deciding factor is this: would the child know what to do in case of emergency, like a fire, or a stranger at the door, or if she was hurt herself? My kids were about 10 and 7 when I left them to go for a walk around the block for 15 minutes with my cellphone that they knew how to call. I also told them not to eat anything since my biggest fear is choking. N0w they are 14 and 11 and the youngest just this January when she was almost 11 stayed home alone for the first time without her big sister for a whole hour while we went to the orthodontist. She watched tv and she knows our neighbors in case of just needing someone to talk to in person, and she knows to call 911 in case of a real emergency.

I did not leave my kids home alone until they were about 12-13. I think 9 is too young. My older two are 14 and 15 and they stay with the 7 and 9 year old.

I thought my town was a very safe small town until 11 years ago when a girl was abducted and murdered please dont let little crime and town size give you a false sense of security. If you aren't comfortable then the answer is she needs to be older before she can stay home alone.
Do some research some states have laws and lots of child safety sites recommend a child be 12 years old.

Shoot, my son is 15 and I still don't like leaving him home alone. LOL

I think the first time I left him home alone was when he was about 11. I had to run 1/2 mile down the road to the grocery for a couple of items and he asked to stay home. I had just gotten him a cell phone and we wound up talking on the phone to each other the entire time I was in the store. So, though he was physically alone in the house, he was "with" me the entire time.

It was about another year before he stayed alone again...he just wasn't ready at 11.

Now he stays home alone, but I always leave him a chore list, and check in via text or call at least a half dozen times during the day. It helps my peace of mind :) We also know our immediate neighbors and he knows that he can go to them if something happens.

Still makes me nervous though.

12.
i don't worry so much about my kids as i do about the wackos out there who might hurt them.

Just a few times I've left my son home for a short while so I could pick up a few things at the store - this started when he was 11.
He doesn't like to be alone.
He's always been that way.
He'd rather come and help me shop (usually so he can pick out what flavor juice he wants this week or make meal/snack suggestions).
He also likes to help come checkout time.
When we're finished and ready to check out I tell him "Scout" and he goes checks which lanes have shorter lines (like a line manager).
(It's kind of funny - makes me feel like he's a well trained sheep dog.)
Actually, the store people like him a lot and hint they'd like to hire him.
But he's only 12 and has a few years to go yet before I want him looking for a part time job.

I'm thinking 12, IF the maturity is there.

My son is 8 and I would not grocery shop with him at home. For me, the grocery store is like a time warp. :)

Run to a convenience store for 10 minutes? Maybe.

I would agree with others who say 12.....even though i have a very mature 8 year old i still worry.

Def. depends on the maturity level of the child, your comfort level, the neighborhood etc. My son is 9 and I feel pretty comfortable leaving him alone for a small amount of time while I walk up to the store on the corner, get gas, or somewhere else close to home and before dark. I left him once not too long ago while I went to the grocery store (he wanted to stay home) and felt that it was a little longer than I was comfortable with, but he was still sitting on the couch playing his playstation game and didn't even notice I was gone for almost an hour. I also have a pretty good relationship with our neighbors, so I will usually tell them if I'm leaving him for a bit and that way I feel there is someone at least keeping an eye out and he has somewhere to go if he needs to. I have also "tested" him on occasion to assure that he is following the rules while I'm gone. I've knocked on the door a few times and called from a pay phone (since he knows my cell #) just to see if he would answer and he's passed every time. He's not mature enough to be left in charge of his brother or sister, but I think it gives him a feeling of confidence and extra trust from me when I leave him "in charge" of himself and the house even for 15-20 minutes.

If you are not comfortable doing it, don't.

But, if she is well behaved and you KNOW she will always follow the rules, then you may want to begin leaving her alone for short periods of time, just while you run up the street to a neighbor or a very close store to get one or two items. No more than 10 -15 minutes for a while. That will give her confidence, and you peace of mind, when you see she is capable of doing it. Then you can extend the time. After you've extended the time, you can extend the distance.

When my son was 8, he started asking if he could stay home alone. So I let him, for short times, and short distances. When he turned 9, I began leaving my daughter with him. (she's 3 years younger) They both know the rules, and they both follow them. (no answering the phone or the door, no going outside, no using the stove) If they start to bicker, they go to their rooms until they feel they can work it out. Now that they are 12 and almost 9, I feel very comfortable leaving them alone. We have never had any problems. In fact, now I even allow them to go outside and play in the backyard. They cannot leave the backyard, and they have to keep the front and side doors locked so the only open door is the slider to the backyard. But at least they get to be outdoors.

However, I will add that I still won't let my daughter stay by herself. She is more likely to bend the rules or push the limits than my son is, so I don't trust her to stay alone. With her brother, I know he will keep her in line. So it all depends on the child.

I let my son at 9 for an hour. at 10 it went up to 2 hours.......at 11 i would leave his sister with him. he is 13 now and my primary babysitter for his brother and sister. i was 9 when i started babysitting my brother.

The legal age in New Jersey is 12. My mom would leave my sister and I home alone when I was 10 and my sister was 6. It was only Saturday mornings while she did the grocery shopping. We would have breakfast and watch cartoons and do our chores. She was always back way too soon.

The dynamics of my family allowed for the children to almost never be unsupervised but I believe we would leave them home when the oldest was 12 but put the youngest in charge. It kind of gave some balance to things. Kept the older children on their best behavior because the youngest would tell everything.

If you are sure she is responsible then it's time. She can start staying alone at home for just a few minutes, like you said, while you run to the store for a couple of things. Like 30 minutes maximum. She needs to start learning to be responsible for herself. If kids can legally babysit at 12 years of age then they really need to be able to take care of themselves first.

When my oldest was 10 and my second was 9 they would stay by themselves for 30 - 45 minutes, but not much more than that AND they had to be together. If one wasn't there then the other wasn't either. My 11 year old son is mature enough to stay by himself, but doesn't always like to. BUT they are never at home by themselves after dark. Actually not much after dinner time. I have to add that they are high ranking taekwondo students who have had to defend themselves and they follow instructions very well. They have asked to not go to daycamp because of the calibur of kids/counselors who are there.

Also, if I don't feel comfortable leaving them, even for 30 minutes, then I make them go with me. You have to trust your gut and your daughter. It isn't easy sometimes.

.

I would say 12 or so, unless you are running to the neighbors or something across the street. It is not only what they are capable of under normal circumstances, but what if there was a fire, a thunderstorm, a knock at the door (my dd, at mature, responsible 13, freaked when the police stopped--they were looking for a prior tenant, but the dilema between not talking to strangers vs doing what the police say was VERY difficult for her). What if you get tied up in traffic? etc etc!

i left my 9yr old for the first time, at least 30 -45min. when i went back to the work force. she called 9-1-1 when she saw a strange blue car that kept passing.

as you mention ur child is mature. if u feel uneasy dont let her stay alone. but your not gonna be making this a habit, let her stay home.

a kid can stay in the house alone when he or she is 14 years old .