How Do You Handle Being Blindsided?

You need to talk to the bosses about their choice, and find out if there is anything you missed. Maybe you are well liked but you are falling short somewhere. Maybe you are earmarked for something else. Maybe there is more work anticipated. You need to know. As far as training someone new, if you decided to move on, then you should at least not set the bridge on fire.

Welcome to my world.
It happens ALL the time!
My job was off-shored twice.
You swallow your feelings/paranoia and cooperate.
You document what you do and how you do it and you train them.
I needed the paycheck for as long as I could get it so I didn't march off in a huff.
I also needed recommendations for new jobs from my old bosses/coworkers.
It never pays to burn your bridges!

Additional:
It's really hard not to take it personally but it might very well have NOTHING to do with how well you do your job.
My boss hated to let me go but keeping me wasn't up to her.
In my case the company made a decision to go to a %70 Low Cost Center model - which meant laying off USA workers and replacing them with fresh out of college workers located in India.
I was over 50 - companies dump older workers fast as they can because they don't want to pay out benefits - and fresh out of college people work for a fraction of the money they were paying me.
Honestly - the work place is really a pretty vicious place to be.
You can be so prepared, trained, educated - do absolutely everything right - and they will still fire you because someone will do the same work for a lot cheaper.
Tech/programming/IT use to be a good place to earn a descent living.
It's not anymore.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you but you are so not alone.

I'm not clear on one critical detail: Is this new person doing your actual job or doing a position identical to it? Were you told that the company is creating a second position like the one you now hold? You said this person was brought in to do your position but you do not say you were fired--?

I assume here that you're worried that you'll train this person and then be fired. It does happen. Meanwhile, I agree with others that you cooperate to the max, act professional to your very core, and are sure that the bosses know you are supporting this new person entirely. Then you have more standing to go to your supervisor and say with a smile how great it is to have Sally or Sam on board to share your duties. Then wait and see whether the reply is a squirmy "Uh, right..." or a clear and firm, "Yes, and we have some great new plans for YOU...."

Frankly, having worked in a couple of offices where there were some quietly underhanded hirings and firings, I would advise that while you are giving things your all at work with a big smile and extra effort, you also get your resume in shape pronto and start putting out feelers for another job. You may not need one; you might just have well-meaning supervisors who are dumb about how to handle "onboarding" of a new hire. But if you suspect there's more to it, be prepared to job-hunt and never, ever let them see you're upset if they tell you one day that your job has been eliminated.

Don't just quit because you feel disrespected but do prepare yourself privately to job-hunt. It's sad that you feel you can't go to your supervisor and say frankly, "Hey, I like Sally and am glad to have her here, but her duties and mine are the same and I'm not clear on where both our jobs fit into the bigger picture here. What's up?" I could have done that with some of my past supervisors and it would not have been a confrontation but a conversation. It seems you feel you cannot do that with anyone at your office--?

M.

First you breathe...you are an adult so you aren't going to whine like a two year old! I know you are not - but it would be VERY EASY to do!! What you do is you do your job and you do it to the best of your ability.

Do NOT feel defeated. Believe it or not, TRAINING another person gives you MORE responsibility and looks great on your resume.

Do you go to your boss and ask why? Sure. It can't hurt. Don't go in accusatory - ask what the future will be like and what this training does for your career with the company.

I know it's easier to talk about it because it's not happening to me. But, yes, it is. My company was just acquired. I'm now training someone else on my job. I can't be negative about it. I was given an nice raise with the acquisition and I'm being positive about it. I'm giving the new girl as much of my information as I can. Turns out? She's not so bad! :) and doesn't have nearly the years of experience I have, so I might be making a positive change in her life! I know she appreciates it. And guess what? I'm learning from her too! You might be able to do your job more efficiently.

Don't confront. ASK nicely. You can do this...

hm. well, i know how i'd probably react, being a somewhat reactive person. it's not how i'd SUGGEST you react. it would be along the lines of bending my poor husband's ear right off with my howls of indignation, and voodoo dolls.
but then i HOPE i'd put on a fresh business suit and a calm smile and sail back in with my professional mask firmly in place.
i hope.
M., from what you post here, you really don't know for sure what's going on, and most of your (natural, to me at least) reactions involve being hurt and accusatory. so no confrontation and no quitting, at least not unless this job isn't important to you (in which case i doubt this post would have happened.)
i mean, even if they ARE backstabbing you, aggressive confrontations with supervisors rarely go well. but fact-finding missions are just good business. 'hey, ms. supervisor, i'd like to schedule a meeting with you to discuss my role as trainer of New Person, and how you see my role going forward. i'm looking forward to having a better understanding of your vision for the team' and so forth. phrase it all in a positive, upbeat, team-player paradigm.
because you don't know what's up with the new person, you really don't know at all whether or not you're actually being disrespected. and while i share your penchant to leap to insecure conclusions, insecurity is a poor base from which to operate. work on overcoming that, and present a confident professional face to your bosses. you could come out of it smelling like a rose. even if this is a coup of some sort (and again, it may well be nothing like that at all) you can impress them with your ability to use the impetus to show yourself in the best possible light.
spin that straw into gold, girl!
khairete
S.

Are they bringing someone in to completely take over your position or are they bringing someone in as a second string? I worked solo for a long time in my current position and when they offered me a junior for 50% of the time I jumped for joy. That has allowed me to help someone else learn the ropes and given me the time to tackle the new program at work that I'm hoping will lead to my goal job.

So ME being who I am, would ask the questions. I would ask politely and non-confrontationally, but what does it hurt to ask "hey, what's going on"?

Professionally? This is not the time to cop a 'tude.
This is not the time to present as anything less than a team player, who does exactly as the "captain" has asked you to do.
You can feel hurt, or slighted, or disrespected. But do NOT let them see you sweat.
Maybe they are preparing to replace you...or MAYBE, once newbie is up & running? Maybe something better is being planned for you. Who knows?
Walk the line until your next performance review.
The new goals you & your boss set will tell the tale.
At that time, reevaluate & plan accordingly. That might include looking for a new job elsewhere, but it might not.

Sports team? Pretty much the same. But I doubt this is about sports.

I can't really answer personally because no one I work for actually understands what I do. If they wanted me to take on an assistant I would have to hire them, if they wanted to replace me I think I would have to do that as well. Sans when I was 16 and worked for Six Flags I have always been that auto pilot employee so....

The problem I am having answering is I can come up with a handful of good reasons they did what they did and you could be reacting badly because of some sudden insecurity. On the flip side you may have considered yourself a far better member of the team and your assessment is spot on. The problem comes in with how you react can become self fulfilling prophecy.

I mean imagine you are your employers and they see you as a good team player, one that works hard, and they brought this new person to help you. Now you have lost your mind.

I would go with a non defensive, hey Barbie is nice, learning well, poor, has trouble with, amazing at...., what do you see my new role as? Most of your thoughts on reactions are total bridge burning.

When this happens to my kids etc. I always say what I was told - don't take it personally.

Who knows what reasons are behind things. As you say they had connections ....

So don't let your emotions get down (defeated). I would just be aware that's how they operate, and if it's not fair, keep your eyes/ears open for new opportunities elsewhere.

Sorry this happened to you :( It sucks. I hope something better comes along for you!

I give myself a few days to accept it, and to be calm. Then I make an appointment with my supervisor to ask her to clarify my job description, in light of the new hire.

You never know - maybe they are expecting the amount of work to ramp up, and they anticipate needing another set of hands doing this in the near future. Or maybe they think you have skills that will be better suited for another position. Or maybe someone else on the team is leaving, and they are planning for you to take that person's spot after you train the new person in your job.

It might not be for a negative reason at all, and if you don't ask, you'll never know. Just wait to do it until you can be sure that you can have a calm conversation about it (there should be no 'confronting' or 'feeling disrespected' involved, it should be a professional conversation).

Or maybe they are replacing you, but wouldn't you rather know that than be in the dark? And if so, you can non-defensively ask why you didn't work out for the position. The supervisor might have feedback on your job performance that will help you with your next job.

The only way to know exactly what's going on is to ask about it, "I was surprised to lose my position so suddenly and without any notice or warning, was there something I wasn't doing? Can we discuss this so I can make sure it doesn't happen again going forward?"
That makes more sense than guessing and wondering why and assuming it has anything to do with you personally.

Maybe they have a new plan for you? Maybe they want to see how well you can train a new person?
Seems to me there are two things going on: You are either super good at your job and are about to be promoted and have someone to take part of your load to make your job easier, or you havent been doing a very great job and they are going to phase you out. If you are worried about the latter.. then maybe you know something you havent told us.
I dont think you should be afraid to ask your supervisor what this new game plan is all about.

Are you being groomed for promotion?

Being receptive to and accepting of change and feedback is beyond hugely important to all managers. Don't quit unless you have other reasons too. Welcome the new person and do as you were instructed. Wait till you are cooled off and then ask your superior to talk with them about your career goals. Make your conversation about you and not about the other person. Ask what else you can do to better your team and your company and wether or not you can expect that with hard work you will be able to accomplish your career goals with this company. Listen openly to the feedback, then reassess if this company and management is a right fit for you. Make sure to thank them for their time and feedback, no matter what it is. Good luck!

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but in my experience, if they're asking you to train someone else to do your job, and have not spoken to you about future plans for you, then you're about to be laid off. Get your resume in order and quietly go about networking and looking for new opportunities. Maintain a professional attitude at work while you are doing so. If this new person is friends with the boss, it probably has nothing to do with YOU, but you'll end up bearing the brunt of it, unfortunately. Better to leave on your terms than theirs, but don't quit outright unless/until you have a new job lined up. I'm sorry. I know it's hard, but hang in there.

Good points below so I won't repeat.

I think a lot depends on your last performance evaluation/review. What was said to you regarding meeting prior goals or setting new ones? If nothing, then you sit down with the boss(es) and discuss whether there is a concern with your performance. You can't make it about the new person and whether or not they have connections. It's not productive, it can backfire, and actually a lot of hires are due to networking and referrals anyway. If you have not had a performance review, then request one. And ask for a discussion of your current job description, whether there are updates or revisions planned or needed, and do some goal-setting. Their reactions to this will let you know more about where you stand.

You cannot let feelings of inferiority get in the way of this process. Feeling betrayed will affect your demeanor and your job performance, and it will affect how you are viewed for possible advancement or retraining/reassignment. Even if you feel you are being edged out, you have to have an attitude of competence and confidence to look elsewhere.

Good luck. I know it hurts, but try to evolve out of that and take charge. How you present yourself to the new person will be a big test of your professionalism.

I've been there and done that. You be the best you that you can be. If you are asked to train the new person, then treat that person like you would want to be treated if found in their shoes why fault that person for the decisions of your superiors. If you want to you are always free to find a new job.

Don't take any of it personal. There are too many factors that come into play when a company hires someone but keep the main things the main things and that would be your Me, Inc. Do what is best for yourself and your family? Don't operate on how you feel. Be professional and keep the main things the main things.

I've been there and done that. I was promised a significant raise and promotion only to watch that all be given to another whom I had to train. Yes I tried to train this person but the truth is they didn't want to do the work. They expected me to do the work while they collect the check. That wasn't going to fly so I would email them the notes, files and all pertinent information to get the job function done. When asked repeatedly to do the job I would just consistently direct them to the email by subject and date. Eventually I was transferred to another department and division and the person who I tried to train no longer works for this entity.

Yes it tough as heck when I was going through it but I gracefully made it through and looking back I'm proud of how I handled it and myself. By treating that person with dignity and respect and training to the best of my ability (I'm a natural teacher), I thought I handled the situation in a way that was in line with my personal character even though when I came to that division someone was to train me on some aspects of their job which only reduced their workload but not their pay refused to do it. Ultimately when she was laid off the decision to not train me impacted her and many others because that function was never done and it was paying unemployment.

Well is it work or a sports team? At work you have no control over what you do. After all you are really just there for the paycheck so as long as that paycheck is still coming who cares. If its a sports team that you are doing outside of work for fun then I'd either continue to play because its fun or leave because it isn't. This has nothing to do with disrespect more like a change that no one consulted you about. Employers don't have to consult employees on things. They make the rules so you either go along or quit but really quitting would be like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I can tell from the question that this is about a mom whose son got dismissed on a sports team. I know, because I'm a mom whose son plays sports and what you are describing I have heard happen to other players.

It's pretty sad. I would like you to please take out the WORK note so the responses can be more appropriate to your situation.

It's almost impossible to stand up for your kid because if you do, you are labeled as a pushy parent. And I don't know if it would work or not. Clearly, on some competitive teams, coaches will RECRUIT other players from other cities (is that legal? is that right? is it fair to stack YOUR team with the best players against other teams in your town?) leaving the kids in the neighborhood who do their best, on the sidelines. Not fair.

This issue is so common in sports, there must be books or articles out there on how to handle it.

Quitting - if your son is going to be sidelines forever... no real playing time... no growth... then I might consider quitting and putting my energy on something that would help me develop and grow as a person. If he can still do that on the team and still wants to be on the team, let him. But don't quit to "protest" unless he has better things to occupy his time.

What a great question.

I am thinking back to when I was being replaced at my job. I knew I had done my best. My employers had different needs and brought in someone else. I felt really hurt and it did make it worse that I had to train my replacement, who was connected to the management (wife of manager).

I decided that I wanted them to have only good things to say about me and to be able to give me a good reference. I did not want to burn bridges.

I decided that it was not my replacement's fault that it happened. I bet she actually felt awkward. I was really nice to her and tried to learn more about her and train her to the best of my ability, so she could be confident and do a good job. I also did not want anyone to accuse me of deliberately not training her well.

Telling myself all of this gave me a big "why" for having a good attitude, which helped me follow through.

I also kept focus on the positives of the situation, which helped me not feel as bitter.

I think all of those things can be taught to a child and are important life coping skills.

best of luck!

It would help if you explained what your new position is. What have they moved you to? Is it a lateral move? A demotion? It doesn't sound like you got a promotion.

Honestly, if they're adding a person to the team, they don't have to tell you about it in advance. Unless your office is always full of subterfuge, perhaps they had no idea that you would feel defeated and backstabbed over this.

I can't give you real advice because you haven't offered enough information. I can tell you that perhaps your take on this is off base. For your sake, I hope that it is.