"Offended" at Work - Would You Stick It Out?

I did read your last post and at the time didn't really have anything to ad.
But it does seem you are letting the line between emotional/personal and work become blurry.
I'm not faulting you, it's how we as humans are wired. You are compassionate about your work and how others see you and that is great. Unfortunately, you have a bad manager. You can't change that. She was a bad manager before you and she will most likely remain a bad manager after you find your new job.
Focus on what you can bring to the table and let it speak for itself. Good Luck in your job search.

Organizations with "no org chart" and virtual teams often drop the ball if the managers and supervisors are not well trained in how to manage virtually. I would almost wager that your boss was never really fully trained on managing a virtual team or she never would have gone so long without a team conference call-- that is a huge, huge red flag. While virtual teams and flatter organizations are excellent in theory, they work in reality ONLY if the parties involved stay on top of how to do this form of management. If possible, do some checking - don't be obvious -- into whether the company plans further or regular training for its managers and supervisors; whether your boss's OWN managers check in on how HER performance is doing when running virtual teams; whether everyone is fully accountable in a performance management system that holds managers accountable for failing to communicate issues to employees in a timely manner, etc. Does your boss have a 360 degree review done on her own performance? If you don't know what I mean by 360 degree review, then that's a red flag too; it means that her employees and peers, not just her own boss, get input into her performance review.

I would check into how seriously the organization is really taking its virtual and "no org chart" structure.

And yes, I would do as you plan to -- rock that performance (by checking in with the boss a LOT and getting specific, written goals etc. -- writing is vital, it's your paper trail later!!) and at the same time, seek another job and check any potential employers' structures, use of virtual teams, how they do accountability for running teams, etc. And don't be afraid to leave your current job if you find a better one!

so basically:

your boss did wrong.
you did wrong.
you've been called on it.
& now you feel hurt.

you can fix this....so "why" didn't you do so before it got to this point? Part of being a team is not waiting for the boss to make sure all is right.... a huge part of the responsibility lies with the staff supporting that boss.

using an analogy: if your boss fell overboard, would you hand her an oar or would you wait & see what was going to happen? This is just one of many ways to look at your situation. It is perhaps the cruelest way, but it is also a valid viewpoint.

sooo, where do we go from here: you now have a black mark on your record. Please do not blame your boss for this event. Yes, she was instrumental in the beginning & end results....but you & the rest of the team could have saved ALL involved - simply by pushing the envelope.

In the end, here's a few things to think about: the economy is still in turmoil. Is it worth losing your seniority & guaranteed pay.....to take a chance on another position? How far do you let your "hurt feelings" take you? ......Peace to you.

I've found if you react emotionally in the workplace, or take things personally, it never ends well. I think you will regret anything you do right now, while you're angry and hurt. Just take a deep breath, try to act in the most professional way possible, and it will blow over. Be the bigger person and just do your job well so that you can avoid anything like this in the future. Good Luck!

At work--you take emotions out of it. At best, you should have expressed to HR that you were surprised that you received no warnings that things were not up to par. Now you know a little more about the character/dedication/leadership skills of your manager. Use that to your advantage now.

I would also not leave it to my boss to schedule weekly meetings.
Even when it is not technically required, a weekly "update on projects/accomplishments" to your supervisor/boss/manager is pretty standard operating procedure in business.

Okay here is my take. Your manager is not very good. She should have contacted you more often. However, the phone rings both ways.

You do need to take responsibility for your performance. Apparently it was subpar. But you need to own that. While you have a bad manager, which you can't fix, you can accept responsibility for your inaction. I don't see where you were betrayed. You didn't do the job and now the company is trying to get you back on track.

Stay or go? Only you can answer it. But if you have this attitude about being betrayed you will not succeed.

I would get through this. Then I would also start covering my butt. "Boss, I noticed we aren't having weekly meetings anymore. I found them very useful. When can we set them up again? Wednesdays work well for me." Or, in writing, "Boss, I understand that you thought x and I thought y. I based y on report pdq per the email you send on x date. Is there a different source you would prefer I use instead?"

I walked away from a lot of PTO and a good salary because my boss STANK at being a boss. DH is a manager and in his classes they've said, "People don't quit jobs. They quit bosses." So true.

If HR wants to see you succeed, then perhaps sit down with them as well and go over protocol and what to do if protocols are not being followed. What recourse do you have so it doesn't get to this point again?

I've had things happen at my former job that were hard to get over. Example, I had a filing deadline to meet. Got my docs done and put them in the reception box for filing that day. Receptionist looks me in the face, says she's going to court to file and then doesn't. Instead goes out and does some personal stuff and then files the docs the next morning. We missed a deadline. I got blamed; supervisor told me it was my responsibility to make sure things got filed. Yeah, I get that, but when someone flat out lies and says they are doing something and then intentionally doesn't do it, how is that my fault?

I sucked it up, but began looking for another job. It's hard to get over things like that, but time does heal all wounds. So, you will get over it eventually BUT never forget it. Always keep it in the back of your mind so you don't find yourself in that situation again and if you do, you'll know how to handle it better.

It will make you feel better to look for another job though. Even if you don't get one or you decide when push comes to shove that you don't want to leave, just looking helped me feel better.

Don't let your feelings get involved with your business decisions. The cracks in your boss' performance will be her downfall. If you "stick the landing" on this EIP with Grace, chances are you will far outlast her. Maybe you would feel better if you talked this out with her. Once you are back on track and she is giving you a glowing review, take that opportunity to have your say in an assertive, yet gracious way

You have an interesting take on things but no where in your take on things do you take responsiblity for allowing 2 months to pass by with no contact with your superior. How is it that you go from a weekly reaching out to no reaching out at all and you fail to cover your own butt and do the reaching out?

While you can look for a new job or stay with the old one, it may be high time for you to take a closer look at yourself. It is time for you to review you while you are working on improving the areas you can improve.

I've been here before. Once I took responsibility for my part it made it much easier for me to get my job done even while I looked for new employment. Now I just have a work ethic that includes a close, honest self assessment.

I really hope this helps. I know it really helped me.

UPDATED

I read your So What Happened and this is my response: If you have no confidence in your ability to edit, formally request training or run things past someone else for editing. I do all of my bosses editing work as well as several other co-workers at various levels. Whenever I'm asked to do something I believe may be beyond me I formally request the help I will obviously need to get the job done. Also have your email trail added to your file since it documents your concerns about the matter you were written up for. I know you feel bitter now but bitterness only comes back to bite you in the end. Forgive and move on.

About a year ago I went through something similar with my job. I had always had excellent reviews, then I started working with a team that I just didn't fit in with. My performance suffered because I was burnt out, had some health issues that interfered with my concentration, and had a bad team leader who seemed threatened by me and did not support me at all. Long story short - management pulled me off the project and I was blamed for many of the things that went wrong. I held my head high and waited to be fired. But then my boss realized that a lot of the issues really should have been solved by my team leader and that the whole project was mismanaged. I was still embarrassed but I didn't have a plan for another job so I stuck it out. I'm glad I stayed because leaving would have made me feel like I failed. Since then, I have done good work and I have been recognized for it. My advice is to stick it out and prove to yourself that you are still as good as you used to be. In the long run you will feel a sense of accomplishment instead of feeling like a quitter.

I would get my resume & references in order and stay at my job where the hours are awsome and I work from home.

I would look to see what else is out there to way my options but other than that I would consider it a lesson learned and cross my T's and dot my I's.

Oh & keep all corespodance from my supervisor in writing, so if she called me and ask me to do something I would request for her to send the direction in an email.

Do you have someone higher than YOUR immediate boss to contact when your issues are not being handled correctly? I have had crappy bosses and gone above their heads when needed to get my job done correctly. Typically companies see this as a good thing so long as you are not abusing the tool.

The only thought I have in order to put this behind you is to have a very frank discussion with her about what happened and make sure she understands your feeling's of betrayal and disappointment in HER performance. Just be sure to approach with sincerity in understanding what happened - what's going on in her life, maybe this stems from issues she was dealing with in her personal life. This does not excuse that she let it affect her job but it will help you understand and perhaps move past this. But yes, frank discussion I think is the only way to get all this on the table. And if it doesn't help then I suppose your options are to stick it out and deal with it (life is short, is it worth it?) or move on and maybe this is that 'uncomfortable' time telling you it's time to move on to other things in your life. Good luck!!

Well as others have said, you can cool your heels and let the dust settle and do your job or you can go job hunting and find something else. However, when and if you do switch jobs you may have the same kind of boss or worse it's a roll of the dice. You know what you have at this job but you don't with the other.

Make sure you keep a journal of all the things that you do and who said what, where, when and how to cover your butt. If you have to be the one calling or requesting a meeting do so. Become irritating if need be to get the job done. This way HR knows you are trying to do the job the best way for the company. The boss will have to deal with it. If she does things to make you look bad you have a paper trail. Always make sure you have proof even if it is a print out of the memos sent.

Good luck to you. It's cold out there when you don't have a job and there are so many people biting to get what you got.

The other S.

PS I know when I leave this job, I will be out of the workforce and at my age I really don't care. But if I were a little younger, I would be fighting tooth and nail to keep up with all the trends to keep what I do have. You also must learn how to leave your emotions out of things that happen at the workplace. No one wants to work with an emotional wreck the vibe comes off badly.

Suck it up, improve your performance, and resolve the problems. Let it serve as a learning experience. Above all, DO NOT QUIT. And, look for a new job. If you find a new job that you like better (not an easy thing in the current market), then you can quit.

Don't do like my former co-worker did: She got a poor review, felt she wasn't being treated properly, got in a snit, gave her two-week notice, was asked by HR to leave the premises that day, and still has not found a new job. Not only is she unemployed, she now has burned bridges and probably cannot get a good recommendation.

In the current economy, consider yourself to be fortunate to have a job, even if there are some management issues.

Good luck.

You sound like you would like to stay, and HR seems to have your back, so when you say how do you get past the hurt and disappointment, well, you just have to be a big girl and go on. I'll tell you what I tell my kids, and what you probably tell your kids. You can't be friends with everyone. Sometimes you will just have to go on and push through the day. I think if you just try to forget about it (and I know it's hard, since it is work) and try to get your EIP and rock it as you say, then maybe your boss will change her tune. I had a supervisor at my work once say to his employee, who had a problem, "did you come here to make friends, or make money?" That said it all. Hope you get to feeling better about this.

OF COURSE you are bitter and angry....really who wouldn't be? I am sure that there is enough blame to go around for everyone. Personally, I would keep doing the best job that I could. But I would also beef up the resume and start quietly looking to see what else is out there. If you see an amazing job posted, then you can make the decision as to if you want to apply.

You are still quite emotional about this now and I don't blame you. However, I would not make a rash decision considering how you feel right now.

None of the answers seem to address what the company may be thinking. Many times poor performance reviews are used to let someone go w/ "cause", meaning they don't have to pay unemployment. so, make sure you're covering you're backside so you can fight being let go w/"cause." In Colorado, you are an "at will" employee, meaning even if you have documentation, you can still be let go. All you can fight is the "with cause" or just being laid off.

I would absolutely be making contacts and seeing what else is out there. Again, this kind of action is a big bright signal that they are considering letting you go - you need to be prepared for that. At least have your resume updated, and be making LOTS of contacts in your field. It doesn't have to be formal job hunting but you want people to know you so that if you do need to go looking in a month, they remember who you are.

That said, if you want to keep this job, then suck it up, take ownership, and change how you interact w/your boss. All bosses need to be managed - part of your job is figuring out how to manage the boss.

Good luck.

Hang in there, keep doing superior work (no one is perfect), do not quit your job (unless your are independentaly wealthy), until you find a new job.

I was in a similar position many years ago to the point that I felt I was backed against the wall.....I did walk out (with justification), but it took nearly 7 months to get my unemployment insurance because the company said I "left on my own free will"...which I did not and I won my case with the Labor Board. However in retrospect, if I had stuck it out, my awful supervisor may have left (which she did within the year) or they would have fired me (which the probably would have not since all my reviews were considered excellent until the trouble with a new superviser happened.

If you are written up, make a notation on each thing you disagree with, inital and sign the document. This puts the company on notice and protects your job if they decide to terminate. Before signing anything make sure they are prepared to provide a copy to you.

Sorry you are going through this, but stay strong!

Blessings....

My best advice to you is to NOT make an emotional decision based on how you feel right now. I would make a personal commitment to yourself to give yourself the next 3-6 months or whatever you choose, to put your best efforts and give your job 100%. If at the end of that period, you still can't shake the feelings of hurt,resentment etc. Then...I would say you are 100% free to search for and commit to a new job. You will feel better about it all if you ride it out and see if things settle down. Best wishes and hang in there~ Also, document EVERYTHING....to cover your butt just in case your boss does something etc.

M