Lately, it seems that some folks want to shove their views and needs into my face, even though I've made it very clear that I do not share their views or cannot fill their needs.
They continue to push me, even after I've asked them multiple times to stop.
I usually just get to a point where I realize that there's no getting through their hard headedness and ignore them...what do you do?
**To show consideration for the people this post was initially about, I've chosen to delete the examples I had included. So that will pretty much shut down this question. I'm taking the high road. Thank you so much for your advice!!!**
Thank you so much ladies for your comments so far! I'm so glad that I'm not completely off base here.
I did sense something a little off when it came to "J." But I also try to see the good in people as much as possible. I'm psychic when it comes to being a medium/clairsentience, but I'm only mildly precognitive...so if there is a lot going on in my life, I can't always predict what will happen. But yes, I do feel like a moron for not paying better attention. I gave this person, who I thought was my friend, the benefit of the doubt...and I ought not to have.
I do the same thing when it comes to evaluating my role in the situation. If it comes down to ME being the common denominator in certain situations, I'm going to make a concerted effort to stop doing whatever it is I'm doing.
I think it just comes down to me being a bit too nice. The thing is, I don't want to completely lose my optimism, but I don't want to be run-over either. I really do believe that people want to do what's right..what's best for one another. It's a tough decision to make, when you have to put your foot down and potentially hurt someone or say something you feel is not of your nature, but necessary.
To JL, I disagree that men and women cannot be friends. I've been in the military for 9 years. I have a number of male friends who have never pursued me. I did not lead this guy on. A week after I severed all contact he had a new girlfriend. He's not stable and that's not my fault.
Also, where are you getting the idea that I do not acknowledge the opinions of others? I don't see this in my post/question...
ETA: Dawn, my "report" button works SOMETIMES...it's strange and finicky. I reported one PM yesterday and it was removed, but the second one I tried wouldn't click. Silly Mamapedia!
ETA Again: Rae... <3 Big hugs to you!!!
Dealing with annoying people is like eating a -hit sandwich. Only you can decide how many helpings you want until you're full. Once you've had enough, stop going back for more.
I think that's the right way to do it, although it sounds like you give those people a longer leash than I would.
I make my point, clearly, once. (People who know me well laugh/complain that I'm brutually blunt and honest.)
If you choose not to hear me or continue to push...you're done.
I'm a person that calls others on their BS, whether they like it or not. I certainly have my share of my own, and I look for that honesty in friends.
C.:
I'm sorry - I wasn't listening...what did you say? smiles!!
About the guy - how sweet AND stalkerish...glad you severed contact.
Regards to mom on here? Stop responding to her PMs. Period. Laugh to your self at their ignorance and stop responding.
You can do as some do and "toy with them" like a cat with a mouse...get them all riled up and them let them stew when YOU want to stop.
Seriously...just stop responding to ANY of her PMs. Do NOT read them...
You cannot control someone else's behavior. You CAN however control YOURS.
Good luck!
I think ignoring them from the start is the best way to go when it comes to people on the site. I don't see how PM'ing someone you disagree with and verbally chastising them is ever an acceptable option. If you don't agree, then you don't agree. It's okay. Just move along. When people do that, you have to realize it is THEIR issue and not yours. You didn't cause the problem, so you have no responsibility to justify yourself or to fix it. Like my mama said, "They can get glad in the same pants they got mad in."
In all situations look at it like this. If someone came up to your front door and dropped a giant bag of garbage there, would you pick it up and carry inside? Of course not. Same applies here. Someone can drop their garbage at your feet all they want to, but it's up to you whether or not you pick it up. At the point that someone ceases being rational, that's when you let them keep their garbage. It is theirs, after all.
What did you say again? :p
Ignore them, if you don't answer they will stop PMing you.
C., does your PM "report" button work? I ask because mine does not. I had a poster stalk me for a while because I wrote about my birth experience. It shocked me when she made fun of me for thinking I might have died without modern medical understanding. And she kept it up. Mamapedia couldn't do anything about it because I didn't report the PM. I didn't report it because clicking the button didn't work.
She was my only real "stalker" (thank God I haven't had one in real life, especially a man!) and I have learned that the best thing I can do is not open PM's from people who are mean to me. It's best for my psyche, and best that I let them know specifically that I won't be reading what they say. There are only 3 (oops! not 4 - two of them are actually the same person - forgot that when I counted!) people I feel that way about, including my stalker. Of course, they love to give the "gist" of their PM in the subject line to hurt me further, but that just shows how much they love to control people.
I recommend that if this religious lady tries to PM you again, that you only click on her name, not her PM, and write in the subject line that you no longer open her PM's and leave it at that. Then you don't have to worry about her anymore.
That's the best way to deal with these people. You see, there are SOME people who you can actually talk to, tell them your feelings, and they will listen. There are people on here and in life who you can agree to disagree with. And then there are people who just want to squash you with their thumb because it makes them feel good. All in the guise of being a Christian. I'm religious and I'm sorry that another Christian treats you like this. It makes us all look bad.
Dawn
There's a saying that goes: Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Don't entertain them with conversation. You are not going to convince them. The only option you have is to simply ignore them which you have realized. You have to take the power away from them. You don't react to them and you don't talk to them, they will (should) give up eventually because they aren't getting what they are looking for from you.
You can't reason with nonsense.
Ignore is the best strategy.
Some people are idiots.
Never care what an idiot thinks.
Ignoring them works well.
Although it might be fun to toy with them from time to time.
Next accuser of satan worship that pm's you, you could respond with
"Yep, and by contacting me, he's now got his goaty little eyes focused on you. Keep it up and his focus on you will be all the better. I'd get back to praying if I were you.".
No doubt it'll have them foaming at the mouth and breaking out the Holy water.
Regarding the guy, it was his decision to make the move. Period. I'm sure you told him that. You can't feel badly about that.
Otherwise, I agree... ignoring most people is the best policy.
You say you have psychic abilities.. therefore, I would trust your gut instinct and veer away from such communication.. You can't control the woman's behavior, but you can control yours. don't respond.. as for that guy.. did you not have any instinct that something was off where he was concerned?
I do believe that we attract people and their behavior into our lives. maybe it's time to sit down and really think about your own beliefs and what it is about you that might attract this kind of energy? this is something I do all the time.. when my life feels off track or things aren't as positive as I would like.. I sit down and literally re-think my life.. I find that when I am more positive , then I attract that and vice versa...
best to you and yours
You ignore and delete. And there is a purpose for that "report" button.
You said it. When I think a conversation or a thread is turning ugly, I just try my best to ignore. It's up to each of us to choose what we will listen to, read, think about...that's hard. But we CAN control our thoughts and cast down all evil imaginations. I'm quoting from the Bible, not saying anything about your beliefs. Negativity is evil period. So when it turns evil, try and walk away.
It seems like there are more and more people like this. I think you handled these situations very well. They'll eventually move on to bug other people. Good luck and hang in there!
I try to remember that arguing over the internet is like mud wrestling. In the end you're both just dirty.
*HUGS*
I refuse to deal with them! I don't care for drama and I detest rudeness so the solution is to ignore them.
Not every insult requires a response. Don't read the PM's or respond to them. Ignore the haters. It's not your problem, it's their problem. And it's not your job to "fix" them or make them agree with you either. Too bad they don't understand that too.
As for stalker boy, glad you cut off contact with him. I think we've all had times when we've missed the clues as to a friend's psycho behavior. Don't beat yourself up over that. I hope he leaves you alone.
I've seen many responses on here that seem over the top, hurtful, and just downright ridiculous. Sometimes I will add in my response about it, other times I let it go. I know when to stop. Most rational people do.
Other people just don't know when to stop, to keep pushing someones buttons. They feed on chaos, drama, and negative energy. They thrive on making someone else feel bad. So, with those types, I ignore, and do something positive instead. I put my energy towards something that I can control, as well as feel thankful that I am not that kind of person.
It's sad how people do this to other people It makes me feel even more sad knowing that this person will never see the beauty that I see in you.
I know that I , myself, am guilty of making sure everyone else is okay before myself. I hate when others are mad at me, even if I know I didn't do anything wrong. We all have something to deal with.
The way I deal with things, especially in your examples, is to accept that this person isn't going to change, that I can't change that persons thought/feeling, and then move on. You know who you are, they don't, nor do they care , so why should you? Now, if they come around again, apologize or try to make amends, that's another thing. The serenity prayers is something I use all the time when something like this comes up.
Sending you hugs, and hope you have a better day!
