How Do You... - Uniontown,PA

L.:

Naming a kid is a HARD thing...

When Bob and I have differences - which we do - I'm Pro-Choice (no, I don't condone abortion but I don't think it's my place to judge) and he's Pro-Life...so on this note, we have agreed to disagree..luckily we can do that. I know there are some who cannot..

Compromise is hard...it takes a lot of patience and respect to do it...Communication is key...remembering not to throw in the low-ball or below the belt punch - but TALK about the issue!!

Good luck!!

In a situation like this, we would:

A) flip a coin
B) compromise on a new middle name all together
C) drop it for now and re-hash it closer to blast-off, in which case I would be much more hormonal and he would likely give in

For what it's worth, I like Ruby Catherine. :)

That's and easy problem to solve. Have another child and name it after your grand ma. Tell your grandma about the next one being named after her. I'm sure she will be pleased.

We used the names from our grandparents.

Good luck to you and yours.

Flip a coin ;)

That's a tough one... it's so trivial (one letter) but so important at the same time. Other than his grandmother, why do you prefer the 'C' over the 'K'? Maybe some up with a whole different middle name? Have your son pick!

Honestly, I see no way to resolve this without hurting feelings. I would TRY to think of other middle names you like as much and go with that. Or look at different names CLOSE to C/Katherine. Claire? Clara?

Again, I LOVE the name Ruby!!

I think people will always "assume" it's after his grandmother when they "hear" it whether it's spelled with a C or K. You're going to hear people say it was why she was named that whether or not you intended it. I think I'd be checking on exactly how his grandmother's name was spelled to clarify the history. Then if you cannot both come to some compromise on the situation, you'll have to pick a new name in my opinion. It wouldn't be worth spending the rest of forever with your spouse mad at you over your child's name or vice versa. Congrats on your baby! Whatever her name may be, I'm sure it will be beautiful. :)

If it's silly but no-one wants to budge, we usually do "rock/paper/scissors". But both have to realize that they have to accept the outcome whatever it may be. If it's something that one feels so strong that rock/paper/scissors is too risky we'll find another solution. In your situation we would probably look for a different name that we both like 100%.

For what it's worth, my middle name is Catharine. My mother's first name was Catharine. Her mother's first name was Katherine. (Long story.) My parents decided to name me M. Katherine after my two grandmothers. But the records office - for obvious reasons - got mixed up, and spelled my middle name way my mother spelled her name. My parents finally decided it wasn't worth going through the hassle to change the name on the official records.

So don't think it gets easy after you two come to a decision!

Is either one of you literally going to die on the spot if you don't get your way in this matter? Is the world going to end? Are you going to get a divorce?

What's more important is this: How are you going to teach your little daughter not to be stubborn and self-willed?

If you can't work this out by tonight, declare that you want to give the baby a totally different middle name. Like Edna. Or Gertrude. Or any name you both think is silly. When you both stop laughing, *quickly* find a name you both like that works well with Ruby and is NOT attached to a relative. No loving grandma worth her salt would want to discover she was the cause of such a big squabble!

We had this same dilemma when we had our youngest. We decided on Brooklyn but never discussed how we would spell it. I filled out the papers before leaving the hospital and spelled it Brooklynn. When he saw it, he told me that he only wanted it spelled with one "N". Normally, I would have fought him on this but since this was our last child and his only girl, I thought I would let him make the final decision.
I guess, it's kinda of one of those things you do with your kids...pick your battles. If it's that important to you, stick to your guns and maybe you can decide on a different middle name.
Good luck!

You may have to draw straws or flip a coin on that one...or choose another middle name if you cannot come to an agreement. (I'm sometimes mean and I would totally be like - Okay babe...I think we need to change the name knowing he doesn't want to change it...and then he would agree to the C.) Not saying I am at all right, I know my hubby all too well, which is kinda bad bc I manipulate him! :D But we have the BEST relationship, we really do! We are a great team!

That is a really difficult question to answer though now that I am thinking about it! I hope that it all works out! :)

Small issue in my opinion. You are the parents and it is your right to name your daugther with whatever name you pick. I know my Dad was not pleased when we had 2 boys and didn't name either one of them after him. Of course it didn't sit well when we named my youngest with BIL's name. oops.....Oh well I love all my kids names... :)

I don't find it trivial, a name is important! If you are set on Catharine/Katherine and can't replace it with a more "neutral" name I see it hard to come to a compromise..the fact that your grandma will get upset because this child is not named after her, but after her K grandma is a real good reason for me to avoid that name, so I guess I am more of your party ;-) My uncle Vincenzo got upset because his son (my cousin) named his baby boy (first grandbaby) Lorenzo, just because my uncle used to be called just "Enzo" and my cousin thought it was a good way to avoid giving his baby an old name like Vincenzo...baby names can really cause trouble in families!!! I hope you can find a 3rd name you can agree on..what about Ruby Kate or Ruby Stella or Ruby Marie? I know I am probably not helping...sorry!!

Well this doesn't answer your question, but Catherine with a C is commonly an Irish spelling (as opposed to British). My daughter's name is Margaret KathArine (like Katharine Hepburn), cuz I thought it would be nice to have just ONE name out of SIX that was NOT Irish.

So, maybe Katharine would be a good compromise?

:)

We named our daughter after my mother and MIL. Mom's name is Shannon, MIL is Marie. Presto - Shannon Marie. If our second child had been a girl, the middle name would have been Lidell. That is my middle name and my grandmother's middle name. I like using family names. They have meaning. Our son is a junior. Don't get me started on how much I HATE that!!!

Hi, L.:
Ask your SO:

1. What is happening?
2. What were you thinking of at the time?
3. What have you thought about since?
4. Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way?
5. What do you think you need to do to make things right?

Of course, adjust these questions to suit the situation.

Then you respond to his answers with these questions to yourself.

1. What did you think when you realized what had happened?
2. What impact has this activity had on you and others?
3. What has been the hardest thing for you?
4. What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Just a thought.
Good luck
D.

Ah naming is so hard. Feelings can be hurt no matter what you do. When I was about to deliver my son, I was single so I had to choose the name alone. I couldn't come up with anything. My favorite all time boys name was Joshua. But my last name is a one syllable J name. And I despised the nickname Josh due to a boy I knew growing up called Josh. And someone I knew long ago had named their first daughter Sarah which was my daughter's name, and their first son, Joshua, so I if I ever ran into them again, I didn't want them to think I copied. so I searched long and hard for a good boys name. Had a few ok names, but nothing I loved. Spent 2 days in the hospital with a new baby boy and no name. Finally my Dad suggested Joshua not knowing my history with the name. And I looked at him and that was his name from that moment. And now sometimes people call him Josh, which I hate, but you know what, it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I named both my kids middle names after my parents first name. My Mom's name is also my middle name. So my daughter and I have the same middle name, my Mom's name and my son has my Dad's name. What I didn't realized is that despite me thinking I named my kids after my parents, my Mom was not happy. When my brother found out his second child was a girl she asked me to try to convince them to name the baby after her. Now i had thought I already named my daughter after her, but apparently a middle name was not good enough. She wanted a child with the same first name. I refused to do so as this was their child and I had no say and felt my mom should have no say either. But in the end, I found out she wasn't happy, and I was a bit hurt too. anyway, no matter what you do someone isn't going to be happy, someone won't like the name. And no matter which one of you decides to give in, you will both love your daughter and come to love her name as I have come to love my son's name despite the nickname I had always hated. Hope that made some sense.

Personally, I love Katherine (with the K)... like Katherine Hepburn. I am not as much of a fan of it with a C. But that is just my personal preference. Generally speaking, I much prefer "traditional" spellings. If you absolutely cannot stand, just really ABHOR it with a K, then maybe you should pick another name altogether.

I have generally found, over the years (we are coming up on 15th wedding anniversary pretty quickly here), that in matters that really have no consequence (and often in some that do, lol), as in nobody is going to die because of the decision one way or the other....I mean... it really won't tangibly affect your DAUGHTER whether her name is spelled with a C or a K... that when I defer to my husband, I am usually glad of it later on. He's a pretty good man, and one of the vast number of reasons I married him is because I respect him and his opinions.... sooo.....
It's kind of one of those things of "do you really want a battle on THIS hill"? If you cannot abide the name... absolutely CANNOT... then pick something else. Otherwise, let him choose the spelling.
That's my my opinion...

So that you know I am not just spouting off about something that I can't relate to, though, I will tell you that our first child has a name that I NEVER would have chosen. In fact, we thought he was a girl, then found out 3 days before the birth that nope, he's a HE. Hubby wanted the name "Aaron" I said "Erin" would have been okay for a girl, but NO WAY did I want a boy named "Aaron". Guess what my son's name is? And I LOVE it. :)
p.s.
For what it is worth: to me, when I see Catherine with a C, I think of a soft spoken, mild-mannered, quiet, demure lady. When I see Katherine with a K, I think of a self-assured, self-possessed woman who while modest, is more aggressive and outspoken about her abilities and opinions. JUST what I think....

You have many options. In my opinion whether you spell Catherine w a C or a K your still naming the baby after his grandmother. 1. You could tell him you no longer want Catherine as a middle name. 2. You could give the baby both grandmothers' names and not call her Ruby. 3. You Could spell it w a K on the birth certificate and not tell anyone. Though I have to say it's sounds very selfish that he doesn't care ab your grandmothers feelings. 4. Drop it. Wait until he sees you give birth and then ask him for Catherine with a C.

Name her Ruby KC Lastname. That will be a good compromise and it will be unique! Good luck!!!

It has always been my understanding that you should never name a child after a living family member. Not sure why but I have always been led to believe that if you are going to use a family members name to 'honour' them and such that it should be a deceased family member. So the fact that his grandmother is named Katherine and she is no longer living would make sence to me. But just to make things way more difficult for you - I agree that Catherine with a C is a nicer choice JMO
Good Luck

I think Katherine, But, mabey that's because it's my oldest daughters middle name and was my Grandmas middle name. I also like how Ruby K. sounds better than Ruby C. Funny because Ruby was my step grandma's name. I know this was not exactly the question so the only solution ( I can come up with) is to flip a coin. Good luck and congrats on your beautiful baby girl soon to come.