Helping 6 Month Old Adjust When I Return to Work

Updated on February 24, 2008
B.R. asks from Albany, NY
4 answers

I am looking for suggestions on how to help our 5 1/2-month-old son, M., cope better when I return to work full time. We feel lucky because M. does not have to go to daycare. His dad works in the evenings and I work in the days, so we share childcare responsibilities. For 3 months, I was on maternity leave. For the next three months, I have been working half a day at my job site and the other half at home. In the beginning of March, I will have to return to working on-site full-time.

Here are some things to know about M.. He is an intelligent, happy boy. He is breastfed. I pump milk and my husband gives him the bottle when I am away, but M. doesn't take it very well. He has a short attention span (completely normal I assume) and so it is hard to keep him entertained. It is easier for me to keep him happy through the day, but still we have to change activities frequently. When I am away from him, my husband says M. is pretty happy for about 3 hours, but after that he really wants mom. At this point he can whine, cry, and fuss to varying degrees and then it gets harder for my husband to make him happy. A couple of times he has thrown major temper tantrums.

Does anyone have any ideas that would help us cope?

Thanks!

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M.J.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi B.,

Good luck with the return to work. It has to be the hardest part of becoming a mom. I cried myself to work for the whole first month after leaving my little one at daycare. The truth is that this is just something you DO. M. will be just fine, and dad and he will fall into a rhythm faster than you will believe! The first little while may be a little tough (-er on you than the boys), but try to plan different activities for the two while you are away, maybe a walk or a class (gymboree?). Maybe there's a favorite blanky or stuffed toy you could sleep with and leave with him while you're away? Something that smells like you... Good luck!

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I'm so glad you are nursing...dont worry if he doesnt take a bottle well. He'll make up for it when you're home. Try leaving behind a nursing bra fro him to cuddle when you're away. The smell of you and your milk might make him less fussy. Other than that, I think it's trial and error for Dad. Breastfed babies need to learn how to interact with Dad and it takes them a little longer for Dad to bond the way baby bonds with Mom. My husband just kept trying different games and songs and toys with our baby and it took a while, but now baby does well with Dad and me. For a long time, it was only me who could soothe him, but now Dad puts babe better to sleep than I do sometimes! It'll take time. Hang in there!

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K.H.

answers from Buffalo on

Honestly....mom's need more adjustment than the baby. It's hard to trust someone to give the attention and love that you would. Finding a family member to care for him is the best to ease your nerves.

I feel more for you...it's so hard to return to work when all you want to do is stay home and be mom.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from New York on

he'll do fine, so will dad, and so will you. my daughter started daycare at 8 months. she had a hard time for the first week, was out for 10 days with rotavirus, and has been fine ever since. i agree, moms need more adjustment than the babies. he will soon learn the routine. one thing i don't regret is NOT calling to check on her-at daycare or at home with dad when i'm working weekends. it will drive you nuts! i go on the no news is good news and if there is a problem i will get a call(and i do). learn to enjoy your time away. it will make you appreciate your time together.

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