Helping 5 Yr Old Adjust to Big Changes

She is only 5 and you just moved her a very long ways away from the family she has known in with a man she barley knows (you dont hardley know him). It is going to take more time than 6 weeks. Have you tried sitting down and actually talking to her. There is no way i would ever move in with someone after a few months even with no kids and with kids you should be waiting at least a year or more. Get to know him and let your kids get to know him. How do you know he is truley a nice guy. Maybe your daughter isnt comfortable there or with him. Maybe she feels like she doesnt come first anymore since you up and moved without really concidering her true feelings about it. Did you ask her how she felt before you moved. Did you really explain to her how things were going to be? At 5 she doesnt understand the concept of moving far away from people she loves. I dont think that was the best idea to move in with someone you've only known a few months with kids. You need to spend a lot of time with her and talking to her so she knows her and her brother come first and nothing will ever change that, and if there is some reason she dont like your boyfriend. Then i would move out and really get to know him with your kids before you take the next step. I think you moving your kids from thier home so quickly was kinda selfish on your part. Not to sound mean, but they are just little kids and that is a really big change you just made in their live. It would be different had you been dating the guy for a long time and the kids knew him well, but thats not the case. I hope things work out for you guys. Stick to a strong routine with the kids and spend a lot of time with them and talking to them and listen to what your daughter has to say. Your kids come first.

Are you saying that you & your kids moved away from their father and all family to move into a man's house that you've been dating for "a few months"? If so, I don't think you have to think too long about why this is so hard for them.

Big changes are really hard! I remember when we had to live in 3 houses in one year our 3-year old daughter needed to wear the same outfit for 6 months just so something would be the same. We just washed it every evening and supported her through the transitions. Just give it time. Do some good active listening and affirm your daughter's feelings. She has every right to be upset and out of sorts. It can take even adults a year or more to feel at home in a new place. Or let her draw about her experience and talk about the drawings. Ask her what ideas she has for making the transition to IN smooth. It's also ok for you to set some boundaries in saying that it's ok for her to be upset, but that she needs to be respectful of those around her. Help her find positive outlets for her feelings.

It must be one special guy for you to uproot and move in with him after just a few months!!

Best of luck to you all.

You need to look at this from your daughter's point of view in order to understand things. She's going along in her life with things just the way they've always been. Her father isn't around but her life is basically unstructured from what you've said. She sees her friends, family, beloved grandparents, etc. Life is good. And then all of a sudden mom meets some guy from another state who she is totally in love with and wants to spend time with. Ok great mom. She's got grandpa and grandma and friends and family. But nope that's not the end. Now all of a sudden you decide to turn her life upside down and move half way across the country to live with someone she doesn't really know, in a location she doesn't know, and surrounded by people she doesn't know. Then on top of it all of a sudden you decided to institute a routine after 5 yrs of winging it there are now rules. Now do you really have to ask why she's upset by this? I'd be upset and I'm not 5.

You need to put your children as THE top priority in your life. They are young and totally dependent on the decisions you make. In order to make this work out you are going to have to communicate both in words and actions that everything is fine and this man will be in their lives forever from now on. You and your new friend need to develop a routine as a new family and involve the kids. It's not an overnight fix. It's not something your daughter will get over in 6 weeks.