Help - My Son Will Only Poop in His Underwear!

Your son is having gastronintestional problems, the behavior follows the pain. I bet you sense that? I would highly recommend you get him tested for food allergies and food sensitivities (IGG test). Don't let the ped tell you it is behavioral - sorry, I massively disagree. Especially when children change behavior (usaually not for the better) when they have to go indicates pain in the gastro track.

If you want some real experts, you should do a phone consult with The thoughful House. They are doctors who specialize in Autism. Don't let that scare you, because Autistic children have the exact severe gastro problems which are usually ignored, but this group is awesome.

Dr. J. Buckly, MD is a pediatrian in Cumming GA (also with a practice in Jasksonville, FLA) also with a specialty in this area. Most doctors just dont get it, even most specialty gastrointionoligist do not provide these kids with solutions. These doctors do. There are other DAN! docs around, all who understand this issue. www.generationrescue.com has a list under providers, I think.

Dont wait, your son needs you to look at his health, not at his behavior. He is showing you a problem he has no idea how to handle. Pain in the gastrointetestional is aweful and knawing.

I would immediatly take your son off milk products, and work your way of gluten. I garentee results. Check out gfcfkids.com for a good diet plan. You are going crazy, what do you have to lose?
J

My really good friend had the same exact problem with her 3 yo son. She was at her wits end and had tried all kinds of things to get him to go poop in the potty. He religiously peed in the potty, just freaked about when he needed to poop and would only go in his pants. Anyway, my friend left her son with her grandmother for one afternoon while she did some errands. When he pooped his pants with his 80 yo great grandmother, she made him wash his underpants out in the sink and clean up all his own mess. He never pooped his pants again. Typical man, too lazy to clean up after himself, so he chose the path of least resistance.

my son went through this too and it was really hard! It was not an easy fix but we did get through it. One of the things we did was to take him to the store and let him pick out his own potty. Every time my husband went to the bathroom (#1 or #2) we made him go to. If he didn't do anything in the potty, we didn't make too big of a deal about it but we did comment. If he did anything in the potty, he got a huge praise and a popsicle. We found the popsicle thing to be key. Just take as much negative about the situation away and make it as positive as you can. For some reason it can be really scary and stressful at that age. Good luck!

Ok first let me say that I have been through your EXACT situation when my son was ALSO 3.And I'm not sure why someone would tell you to ignore it since ignoring anything just lets the problem progress.Anyway, my son would also hold it b/c he said it hurt when we first started potty training,I went at it for a yr with him as far as trying to get him to just pee in the potty.I finally took him to the doctor b/c I was afraid he would make himself sick from holding it that many days in a row.My doctor prescribed an enema (sp?).I had to insert it in his bottom and it would make him go within a few mins.And that helped as far as keeping him from getting sick and I would make him sit on the potty until it came,he couldn't hold it back so all he could do is sit there and go.I asked my doctor about what I could do to get him to go b/c like you I was just so darn frustrated with my son peeing in the potty but not pooping.He asked me if I have ever met any grown men that pooped on themself.I said no, and he said.."Well theres your answer".I was confused..but he said to just take a step back and not stress so much about it and he would do it all on his own.He also said that learning to potty is something every person learns at their own pace and that the more I pushed him the longer it would take.I was reluctant but sure enough, as soon as I stopped fussing at him about it and just kept praising him for the good he was doing and after the few doses of the enema, he finally just started going.It also helped to let him walk around in it for a few mins.If your son is content in his own mess then that might not help, but my son did it once and I let him walk around like that for about 5 mins in it,it was slightly funny seeing him walk with both legs spread hobbling like a duck but I think it made him realize why poop goes in the potty and not on us.Look on the bright side, my aunt let my youngest cousin who is now 8 walk around pratically naked doing it on her floor and chalking it up to him learning and she did nothing to show him otherwise.He eventually started going to the potty, so if her son managed to pick up the habit even though he was allowed to do it anywhere he wanted then know that your son who is being taught about the potty now will be using it like a pro in no time.Your past the hard part,most children learn before 4.My son got it down a few months before hitting 4 so expect him to catch on really soon and just try to work through it each day and still continue to show him the right way to do it.Rewarding him can also help alot.Didn't work for my son but I have heard that it has worked for others.

Ugh! My son was almost five by the time he was consistently pooping on the potty. I pushed it too much at age three and it only made the situation worse. A sticker chart worked for me for awhile when we first started out. Basically, kids can control two things at this point in their life - what goes into their mouth and what come out their bottom. My son would wait until we put his pull-up on at night when he had to go poop. If you can find their motivation, then the pleasure will outweigh the pain. We did the oppostie of what the books tell you to do. We started to take away stuff animals if he pooped in his underwear and did not tell us. It is one thing to have an accident. It is another thing to intentionally poop in your underwear. Stuffed animals were his motivation. There were at times we had all of his stuffed animals and he would get three back at a time if he pooped on the potty. We also had him clean out his underwear which he thought was disgusting. I think after the second time of cleaning himself, he made a better effort about getting to the potty as well as been rewarded with the animals. He still had skids so we worked on that with him also - not waiting too long to go.

I also have a friend of mine who would cut out a hole in the pull-up for her daughter to go poop on the potty. This is what worked for the little girl. Apparently not as scary for her to do it this way. Ours was just a lot of trial and error. You can't push him if he is not ready.

My two year old daughter trained herself right before her second birthday. So much easier than my son! They use the potty when they are ready to use the potty.

The first key is to have great empathy! Then when he does it, just say "Oh, this is so sad. How are you going to clean it up?" Wait for his answer...if he doesn't know, then ask him if he would like some suggestions. If he does, great, give him some suggestions, like first he has to clean up himself and then after he has done that, tell him how he'll have to clean up where it happened.

Just make sure he owns the problem and he cleans it up. You can always go back later after he has walked away and make it more perfect. BUT, he needs to clean it up in order to get tired of it. I know you are tired of it, but he isn't tired of it yet due to, I'm guessing, not having to clean it up.

No yelling or fussing at him, just sadness and asking him how he is going to fix the problem. Make him use his brain and muscles to correct the accident.

R.,
I really feel for your situation. My son was slow to potty train as well as I think all boys are. He honestly made the decision not to go at times because he didn't feel like it. It wasn't just a poop situation like you are having but I have heard countless other moms talk sbout how their kids won't poop in the potty-- it's like flushing a part of themselves down and it's scary. My son went through a period where he didn't want to wear the pull ups too because they were "itchy". I know kids are headstrong and they are trying to exercise their independence at this age as well-- and you, after all can't make them poop! I explained to my son that he had to either use the potty or use the pull ups. I know this sounds weird but what worked for us was when he pooped in his underwear (always his favorite cartoon characters) I would throw them away and made him watch. He would throw a fit. He didn't want me to throw them away. I explained that if he didn't want me to throw away his favorite underwear he needed to not poop in them. He even a couple of times took his underwear off and would poop in the floor!! At least that is easier to clean and he only did it a couple of times but again he had to prove that he was still in control.

Then I started a poop chart which I am sure you are already doing. He loved the stickers for when he pooped in the potty. After 5-7 stickers he would get a small toy. After a while it worked-- he liked the positive reward and he was still in control-- he pooped on the potty and he got a reward!

Your daughter will be much easier!! My daughter waited a while before she wanted to switch over but when she did, she was potty trained both day AND night at the same time! Good luck, R.

I used the reward system w/ my son.
He is the youngest of three with 2 older sisters so..
when it came to him I felt out of my league so to speak.
I made a chart on poster board in the bathroom and we
picked out stickers. When he went like he should he got a sticker... then when he had 3 dayz 'good' behavior..( no accidents ). Then we went to store and I let him get an
inexpensive toy. No sweets..
I don't know if this can help you but maybe
it is worth a try????... Good Luck to you R..
peace.. P.