Pooping on Toilet Instead of Pants!

Areward system worked for me. I made a chart and each time she used the toilet to poop we put a star on the chart. When she got 5 stars, she could pick a gift from a gift bag. Took about 2 weeks.

When my daughter did this, I dressed her with no panties. I think she didn't have that diaper feel, nothing was going to catch it. She then decided to use the potty. Worked for us!!

I had the same problem with my oldest son now 11yrs old! Something I will never forget! He was completely potty trained until he decided that he will never poop in the big boy potty again! Frustrated is not even the word to describe having to go buy more diapers! LOL! I read everything that you could imagine on what I could do differently! What I came across the most is that it is all about control! They feel like they are losing control of themselves and want to be able to make the decision when and where! I always knew when my son was going because he would hide in a corner or behind something. All I can tell you is it did not take long for him to decide that he was tired of having that "icky" feeling in his pants and he wanted to wear big boy pants! Stay strong! I promise he will not be going to kindergarten in diapers! Ha! Ha!

My son would carry on like this too at this age, it was like he would hold it so long that when his body said "no more" it was painful. So when he finally had no choice, he would go in his pants.. he would hide and I would find him straining so bad his face would be bright red. I wound up buying the over the counter children's liquid laxative and put it in his drink. It would take about an hour or so and I knew when he had to go because he would get this look on his face and kind of run around.. (it's kinda funny thinking back on it all now..) anyway, that is when I would take him and put him on his potty and hold his hands while he went, of course he fought it a little but it all worked out. I kept little wrapped up presents.. trinkets he would like, and then after he went on the potty he'd get a reward. Finally he got accustomed to going on the potty and the problem slowly went away.

I had one of those smaller seats that fit over the regular toilet and it helped him feel more secure to have a step that was tall enough for his feet to be on while he was sitting there, all this made it less scary for him.

I know that it isn't recommended always for little ones to take laxatives etc.. it wasn't daily or several times in one day. Do your own research, different things work for different children. Try to remember that it's just a bump in the road and it will all work out in time. Boys tend to fight growing up a little and this is all part of it. You have gotten a lot of good advice, something will give soon. Hang in there and Good luck to you

I had the same problem with my daughter, who is now 28 years old. I put up with it for a while for fear of harming her emotionally by forcing her to stay on the potty chair when she needed to poop and just wanted to poop in her pants. She cried but couldn't hold it any longer and it happened. Then she looked up at me with a big smile on her face and said, "That didn't hurt, Mommy!" Don't know where she got that idea, but she was potty-trained from that point on.

Trying big rewards might help, or maybe he just isn't ready.

My son was also scared to poop on the toilet. He would scream, cry and resist. So to change this behavor we knew when he had to go so we would take off his pants and let him walk around naked waist down. This made him FRANTIC but he would have no choice but to follow me to the potty when he really had to go. I would sit with him in the bathroom and rub his back or read him a book and let him know that it was okay and that I understood how scary it was but everything would be just fine. When he would finally poop in the potty I made it a HUGE deal and gave him big smiles, hugs and even special treats like snacks or his favorite show. At first it was heart breaking to see him so upset but it really only took a few times and he wasn't scared anymore. I hope this helps you! I know how hard it is. He is now just a month over 3 years old and sometimes he still wants me to sit in the bathroom for company...sometimes he wants his privacy and makes me shut the door. ( : But he always makes me come in after and see what he has produced because he is so proud of it. We still give him a cheer! Haha!

My son always had a certain time when he would go, usually, at night after he was put to bed in his room and usually in his closet, then he would go to sleep and I would find that he had a poopy diaper when I went and checked on him later. He wasn't comfortable going in the bathroom, so I let him move the potty chair to his bedroom closet and every evening I would ask if he needed to go poopy and he said yes and he would sit in his closet on his potty chair and do his business. Once he got comfortable with going on the potty, then we worked on moving the chair back into the bathroom and eventually onto the regular toilet. Maybe if you could pinpoint a time and place with your son this would work too. Good luck!

Don't think me cruel when you read this... this has worked for both my children and my nephew... A nice warm bath or shower after pooping their pants is hard to give up- especially when the alternative is sitting on a hard toilet. So, the next time he poops in his pants move him to the shower for a quick and COLD clean up. Calmly tell him this is yucky. Big boys need to poop on the potty. Believe me, two of these cold showers is the most it will take. Took my daughter twice, my son and nephew once. No more poopy pants! Good Luck!

my 3 year old has had the same problem and I understand how frustrating this can be my daughter is very strong willed and I have found that the more I bother her and ask her the less she will go, if I leave her alone she will finally go in the toilet it takes ALOT of patience and willing to ignore the behavior, I have taken her to the doctor several times and received much advice and basically they told me it was her behavior and she needed to be left alone and not to have a power struggle by making her go because she knows what to do, just does not want to do it. so I do wish you good luck and do know that you are not alone. Take it day by day and it will better I think it does get better the older they get. this too shall pass!!

My son was the same way. After trying the reward system for months with no success and I was tired of cleaning out poppy underwear one day I just told him I was not going to clean him anymore. I made him clean his own bottom and clean out his underwear--which grossed him out. Then, obviously, I washed his hands with soap until clean and made sure he was clean too. Less than a week of that (and making him sit on the potty for 15 minutes after everytime he ate something) and he decided it was easier to poop in the potty than clean himself! I did praise him lots after he finally pooped in the potty and I think that helped too! I think boys are much harder than girls and you have to get them to change their minds about it--good luck!

My sister had the same problem. Her son would go and get a diaper, put in on, and come to her after he'd pooped. Her pediatrician told her to let him sit in it for a while. She sad "Mitch, Mommy is busy right now, and Mommy doesn't have poop in her pants because she uses the potty. I'll change you when I'm finished with what I'm doing." My sis is a neat freak, and it was the longest 15 minutes of her life, but she only had to do it once and he never pooped in pants/ diaper again.

My husband and i would make sure that every time we had to go to the bathroom we let him know so he would see us go on the potty after about 2 weeks of that we told him he can pick out some candy and that we would only give it to him only when he pees or poops on the potty. That is what we did with tootsie rolls and it worked, in one week my 2 1/2year old was completely potty trained, night time and all.

Well here is what we do with our gr son same age as your little guy. He wears big boy underwear and will pp ok during the day, at nap time I put on a pull up and he usually poops while he is sleeping. Mom puts him in another pull up at night time also. He is going to Noah's Ark preschool in August and we told him he had to start pooping in the potty to be able to go to school. So when he tells me he has to poop we go in together and if he does he gets a piece of chocolate candy. Or I will read him a extra story.

Then we call momma and daddy at work and I let him tell his parents he was a BIG BOY and he gets all kinds of Good Boy's proud of you's. Bigger hugs when they get home.

Some children just take a while to get comfortable using the potty to poop. Our little guy had such huge movements, I thought he would be screaming if he did it when awake.
Dr. suggested we give him a children's laxative if the the bowel movements continue to be so large. That worked also.
His Ped told us some children just take a while to get the idea that it's best to use the toilet. Our daughter in law when they first started this training. Told him if he pooped in his big boy underwear she would just through them away. That worked once. He loves his Lighten McQueen and Mator underwear and to throw them away was a big deal.

It just takes time H. and a lot of patience to succeed.
You could give him a sticker calendar when he poops he gets a special sticker to put on it.

Trial and error and relax, don't push it he will get the hang of it.

K.
Nana of 5 gr kids.

My daughter did the same thing. Then one day she started recognizing the urge and started going in the potty. She still has accidents b/c she doesn't have enough time between the recognition of the urge and the ability to get herself to the bathroom. But, the good news is that your son is normal. I have heard many moms say that pooping on the potty came long after the other. Hang in there. They all get it - some are just quicker than others.

Well, I've actually got a funny story to tell you....we are going thru a similar situation. Our daughter is 3 1/2 yr old who does fairly well going potty on the toilet but not poop. We recently rented a video from the library called "Potty Power". It seems to be encouraging her. It has several catchy songs on it that I've noticed her singing. Yesterday, we were at a friend's house (married but no children). We were hanging out in the backyard and they have a hedge row that seperates the grass from a cemented patio area near their house. The adults were in the yard with the grass and she was going back and forth btwn the yard and the patio area. After being in the patio area for a while, she came out and announced to my husband and me that she had went poop. We asked if she went in her panties...she said no. So, logically we asked where she went and she pointed to a cement slab that was in the yard. I could not believe it....so I went and checked. My husband and I were both a little embarrassed, but she had indeed pooped on their patio. Luckily the friends found it funny. I had to explain to my daughter that it was good that she didn't go poop in her pants, but it wasn't the best thing to poop outside. We still had to change her panties since they were smeared with poop. That's when I explained it is best to go in the toilet and have toilet paper to wipe with. So, I was encouraged with her trying to not go in her pants, but found her unconventional ways humorous but embarrassing. Good luck with your 3 yr old.

H.,
I'm praying for you! It was hard being patient during this time. My poor son would start to say, "I'm sorry you're frustrated with me". It took him almost 6 mo to finally get it. I'm not sure what finally worked, but my guess is his Superman pjs. I had started taking away his underwear and clothes he was wearing each time he pooped in his pants (pjs were first to go). Then, if he happened to go in the potty and had no accidents, he earned them back. Then the next day, he went in his pants and lost them again. I think he just decided he wanted them back for good. He now goes without me reminding him. But it was a daily frustration working laundry around his pooping in pants schedule. Just keep trying to find his motivation. One day he'll be ready! But I totally feel your pain!!! (He just started going in the potty last week, so it's still fresh in my mind!).

My son was the same way! It took a bunch of 14 yr old kids to announce that they had "to go poop" everytime they went potty. Soon after my son wanted to be like the big kids and he started going in the toilette. A week later he was potty trained. I had tried books, tapes, movies... It took 14 yr old girls.. hahaha
good luck!

Hi, H.. I am working with preschool children and have potty trained most of them. I too, struggle with this same thing. I have learned that as much as we want them to poop on the potty, they have the ultimate control of that. We just have to stay calm and try not to give undue negative attention to it. If they get that attention, the behavior can even increase. I would continue giving rewards or let him know that when he poops on the potty, a special reward he has picked out from the store will be given. He will do it eventually, it will just not be on your timeline. Good Luck!

Is he on a large toilet or a little potty? My older daughter couldn't poop on a big toilet, even with the seat. She needed her feet on the ground to be able to do it. Do you know when he usually goes? You could set him on the potty when it's time and distract him. You may sit there for a long time, but after awhile he'll probably go and after a few sits, hopefully it won't be such an issue! *shrug*

K.

My grandson and a friend of ours had the same problem. We found out that If we took the pull ups and big boy underware off and just let them wear their shorts they wouldn't poop in them. They would use the potty.

Hope this helps.