Help I Am Being Over-loved

LOL. I think you're being a meany. TRY to enjoy it because I have an 8 year old boy and it doesn't stay "cool" to love on mom for very long!

Aw, he's cute.
My son, who is 4.5 years old, is like that too sometimes.
And he tells me I am "cuddly."
I love it.

It is good, that a "boy" can express themselves and their feelings. Much better than having a pent-up boy.
I always think of that.
We are glad, my son CAN and does, express his emotions. Articulately.

Being smothered can be so annoying! I agree with Marda P - perhaps he needs more affection initiated by you (if you can get it in before he does! LOL). But just remember, if this is one of your worst gripes, you've got it pretty good (still annoying though, I know!).

t.

oh yes. i totally feel your pain (or did when my boys were little. i require a fair amount of solo time and even when i was a young mom i had limits for how much handling i could take.)
i think it's okay to put limits on it. you're sweet to hide the irritation, but kids can handle honesty. 'i love you too, baby, but mommy needs some no-touch time. you can send me sweet lovey thoughts from over there while you play with your legos.'
set a timer if that helps.
khairete
S.

Can I take your name off this post and put MINE? Can T-O-T-A-L-L-Y relate!

I also have a friend that has this issue with her son. She and I vent privately on FB chat--she's currently living in England so we do our best to look for each other because of the six hour time difference. If I see her on late at night I know she's guilting about something.

Be honest with him. Let him know that you love him but you also need more personal space. He can sense your displeasure which is adding to his clingyness.

I agree that it might help for you to initiate loving gestures more often. This might reassure him so that he'll do it less.

One thing I've noticed with my grandchildren is that at times when they feel so clingy they're feeling the need for more attention which I then make time for. Perhaps just 10 minutes of talking with them, finding something for them to do, asking them to help me do something seems to help or even just stopping what I'm doing and focusing on sharing love.

They are only like this for a little while and you will miss it when he grows up, but I remember those times too.... we get grabbed on by ALL the males in the house a little too much and little too often sometimes and it will make ya go a little insane for a little while :)
It's normal tho. He's just needing your validation. Once he's feeling really secure with himself you'll be having to pin him down for a kiss.

haha! You make me laugh. You're not mean. I think it's pretty common.

My oldest child is 24 and just had her first baby.
Believe me, I wish for the days when she bugged me to tickle her arms. Not like a grabbing tickle, but a soft, swooping, shwishy tickle that made her relax and happy and go to to sleep.
Every time she sat next to me or we snuggled to watch a movie, it was always her arm out with the request, "Tickle me, Mommy".
Sometimes I would have given anything for just being still.
My son was exactly the same way except he likes his head rubbed. He's 15 and still nuzzles me to do it. He may be 15, but he was really sick last night and wanted to sleep in my bed.
All I can say is that this will pass so soon and you'll be missing these times.
My daughter is 24 and just had her own baby. I was there for the delivery and she wanted me to "tickle" her. My son is 15. He'll be grown and gone soon enough and my heart breaks to think of it.
Last night when my son was sick, I let him in my bed. I kept the covers over him and rubbed his head so he could go to sleep. It literally went through my mind that there will come a day when he won't want or need that from me anymore.
I know kids that are 7 and won't even let their moms kiss them goodbye before school anymore and especially never in public.
Their moms are crushed.
Maybe you can write little notes to each other instead. Maybe you can tell him that you know how very much he loves you and he doesn't have to say it all the time for you to know it.
Maybe you can snuggle up on the couch and rub each other's feet while watching a movie instead of saying the words.
He sounds like a loving and sensitive boy and there's nothing wrong with that.
When my son was little, he used to say, "I love you best in the whole world". I always told him that I knew it even if he didn't say it. And I loved him best in the whole world too even if I didn't always say it.
There is every chance in a year or so he won't even want to be seen getting out of the same car with you cause sometimes moms ain't cool. Or at least they act that way in front of their friends.
Maybe the two of you can come up with a wink and secret handshake type of thing. Something only the two of you know. Something that shows him that the words don't have to be spoken. You love each other and that will never change.

Hang in there. Be so thankful you have a son that adores you.
I know I'm so thankful for mine.

Best wishes.

Yep Ive got a nearly 4 yr old grand daughter who does this sometimes. I have tried really hard to recognize it and if possilbe, I drop whatever Im doing and just pull her up onto my lap and snuggle as long as she wants. She falls alseep a lot of those times and then I know she was right on that edge of trying to stay awake but not able to, and didnt know what to do with herself. I know it sometimes is smothering and you just want to peel their arms and fingers off you and drop kick them into the back yard.. but it is a call for attention and we just gotta do it. I know in our case its due to moms work, school, and all her time is spoken for and hours are crazy so we just squeeze in all the snuggle and hugging and attention we can so the little girl doesnt feel alone and left out.

Your not a meany, I can relate, unless we are both mean. ;)

i don't know, i think anyone would get sick of it...but he sounds verrrrry insecure. may be something there that needs addressed?

ps, as always i agree with Marda - you mention other children, (sorry i didn't do a background check on you before answering lol) so it's possible he would benefit from some one-on-one time with mom too.

my four year old is a total marshmallow too and most of the time it's wonderful but i definitely have "moments" where i am just bothered by it..it's an awful feeling lol.

maybe if you explain to him that it means more if he says it less. Tell him that when ppl say something so many times, it becomes habit and doesn't mean as much. My son is lovey sometimes and I can imagine how it could be if he did it all the time. Have this talk with him and if it doesn't work..... I just try to remind myself that he won't be like this for long, he is going to grow out of the lovey phase and I am going to wish I had this time back. Just bite your tongue and soak it up. ;o) You could also try reverse psychology and love on him more and more so he doesn't need to love on you.

Oh Gosh, my 15 year old still sings out "I love you" across the house for no apparent reason. Still asks for hugs and sometimes hangs on me. Of, course, all of this is done in the privacy of our home - in public I could be a speck on the bottom of his shoe and get more attention. ROFL

As much as the clinginess can be cloying at times, try and enjoy it. Mine was like that also at the same age - what finally developed was the child I listed above. Still loving, but within appropriate age level expressions - well, most of the time.

Some kids just need more reassurance than others. Try just singing out "I love you" to him at random times,giving unexpected hugs, etc. Maybe if he gets it from you "unexpectedly", but really more on your terms, he will be able to back off a little.

God Bless

It sounds a little overkill, but also sounds like he needs some quality time/love and not satisfied with the acknowledgement he's getting. Take time to have some special moments and connect without preoccupation. He'll grow out of it... You will miss it :)

I have several friends with boys ages 10 to 16 years old. They often say how they miss the days when their sons wanted to hug them and hang on them. It gets "uncool" very fast, and very soon your son may not be touching you at all. That's hard to picture when you're feeling "over-loved" and want some space, but it'll be harder when he's a little older and not willing even to let you peck him on the forehead, much less hug him, even in private.

Like someone else noted here -- You may need to initiate affection more often. It seems like he's needing and craving affection and may feel lost among his siblings or insecure (he's at an age where insecurity is typical--school's still new to him, he's navigating friendships that are growing more complex, etc.). Show that affection now, while he wants it and needs it. He will actually be more secure if he knows he gets affection and attention from you without any hesitation on your part. Some parents think it makes kids, especially boys, "weak" if parents are too affectionate with them, but it only shows the kids that the parents are unwilling to meet their needs, so kids stop expressing those needs and close themselves off more and more. Meet his needs more willingly and he may become more confident and less clingy, but one hopes, no less affectionate overall. You want him to come to him with his thoughts and problems when he's older, right? Start now by letting him know with your hugs and touches that he can come to you for what he needs from you and he will get it willingly, not with irritation.

I never get tired of hearing that from my kids. When they get older they no longer want to hug and kiss you but my kids (oldest is 35) tell me everytime we talk or text or email it is music to my ears. With that said it sounds like something is going on with your son, maybe he is just a child that needs that extra one on one time with you when you give him all your attention. It doesn't even need to be a long period of time. I would investigate it I think I would be more concened as to why he is in in overkill as you say then bugged about it. Not to scare you but this could be a sign of some serious emiotional issue or he is acting out trying to tell you something has happened. It never hurts to be carefull.